Lisa wasn't a big fan of Christmas. Her surname, Toe, meant the seasonal Miss L. Toe jokes had plagued her for years. She had toyed with the idea of using her middle name instead, but Camilla Toe hadn't seemed like much of an improvement. Talking about the cross she had to bear wasn't something Lisa usually did, but it was Christmas Eve, and she felt a little conversation might lift her spirits. "I think I'll just stay in...

Santa couldn't make his mind up, Naughty or Nice? The bearded cockster was in the midst of the kind of dilemma he always had in the run-up to the big day. The first Christmas Day knobbing was something Santa always looked forward to. He always celebrated the midnight tea break fuck with a loud shout of "Christmas is cumming!" after he had fired his shot of Santa sauce onto or into the lucky recipient. Slippery Sally and T...

"Oh, one of your memorable eye-watering farts, Biscuit. A lovely Christmas present," Marcus said, looking at his dog. Although it was Christmas Day, Biscuit wasn't cutting his master slack. He wanted his walk, and he wanted it immediately, especially as it was light now. Marcus took Biscuit up to the park. Everyone still needed a walk, whatever day of the week it was, and Marcus at least felt he'd ticked the human contact...

"Innuendoitis," the specialist told Kyrie with a sympathetic look she could not see behind his mask and protective hood. "Christmas is going to come soon. You're telling me I must sit alone and hope for a stroke of luck?" Kyrie said with a frown underneath her own protective face covering. The specialist informed Kyrie her condition was rare, and a cure was a long way off. He told her he knew of only one other confirmed c...

He cursed when he saw the queue snaking around the block from the Apple Store. The latest upgrade, the i-hole15 had been unveiled and everyone wanted to upgrade their sexbot with the most up-to-date arsehole. Everyone had assumed that sex robots would be really expensive, but like printers, the basic models were dirt cheap. They got you with the upgrades… and the adverts. It was worse than youtube. You’re thrusting away,...

Sarah stood and looked at me. I nodded and then just smiled. We both knew I wanted her to explore her sexuality and have new sexual experiences, though I never said it. Have the same sort of sexual encounters that Clare already had. There was a hush in the air as Sarah dropped the top half of her kimono dressing gown, and her two perfect D-cup breasts came into Stanley’s and my view. He did not try to hide his stare or hi...

With my job keeping me busy and my birthday celebration slowly becoming a faded memory, Sarah and I slipped back into our new routine. This meant that I saw her every night except for Wednesdays, which was when she attended the local college to learn to speak French. Irritatingly, she still insisted that if I wanted to sleep with her on Friday nights, it would be on her terms. We would alternate between my flat and her be...

I was in a pinch, so my boyfriend’s parents invited me to live with them and seven of their ten children still at home. My boyfriend and I shared a room with his brother, the one with the fancy car parked in the garage all winter. One evening over dinner, conversation was lively and a little salty. His brother exclaimed, “Oh, if that car could talk!” I glanced at my boyfriend and we burst out laughing! Oh, his brother’s f...

Sergeant Beth Dow and Detective Sergeant Freya Shaw emerged from the showers at the Police Sporting Complex. They were delighted to have finally managed their usual game of squash, having had to postpone several times because of the intensity of the team’s recent major case, which was now successfully wound up. A substantial cocaine-distributing operation had for years been conducted from the ostensibly legitimate warehou...

Steve is working behind the bar when the door opens, and a young man comes hurrying in. “Gimme five shots of your strongest liquor,” he urges, placing a fifty on the bar. Steve pours the drinks and watches as the man knocks them back one after another. “What’s the occasion?” Steve inquires. “I’ve just had my first blow job.” “Hey, that’s a cause for celebration. Let me give you another round. On the house.” “No thanks,” s...

Nobody was paying attention as some foppish putz was droning on about the minutes of the last meeting. Hannah flitted about the crowd putting flyers in pockets without anyone noticing. Liddy had postulated that simply finding the flyers would be enough to get word out as they were discovered and was doing the same thing as Hannah. Cat had the job of standing in eyesight of one of the dukes in a black dress that showed a l...

A couple on a date to a drive-in cinema parked their car near the rear fence, took the loudspeaker, and wound up the windows. Watching ‘The Ten Commandments’ while breaking one of them as the movie progressed, their passion got the better of them. Pashing and appearing to have more tentacles than octopuses, they were passionately excited to explore each other. Stretching out along the front bench seat of the old car as sh...

I was out checking that the cows had water when the farmer’s daughter cornered me by the edge of the field. Her checked shirt was unbuttoned, and she'd tied it in a knot, giving me a good glimpse of her boobs and stomach. “Well, hello, cowboy,” she said before stepping closer and kissing me passionately. When she whispered that she had no panties on under those tight little daisy dukes. Well, I just couldn’t help myself....