In our adult humor (“humour” for the British) section, you’ll find funny, sexy, saucy stories, meant to raise a smile.
To merge the libidinous with the laughable is perhaps the most difficult style of erotica to write, yet many lush stories writers rise to the challenge.
JoJo feels it starting again and pulls to the side of the road. She closes her eyes, shudders, and waits until she catches her breath. She pulls back onto the street and continues her journey. As she pulls into the parking lot of her family doctor, she feels it is beginning to happen again. She quickly pulls into a spot close to the door and waits for the feeling to subside. Opening her eyes, she notices only one car left...
It was my idea from the beginning and it made some money for Ralph and Mac. My reward was worth more than money (to me). Ralph, Mac, and I lived in the second-floor flat of the old Victorian building in San Francisco's seedy Tenderloin District. The first floor was the little no-name adult bookstore and video booths that Mac owned. I was Ralph's submissive sissy slave and fucktoy. He shared me with Mac, and I was their fu...
The Captain of the Venereal Guard looked at me, his face stony. “How could you? How could you insult our illustrious Queen like that?” I ignored him, looking down at my bound hands, ashamed, because there was nothing I could say in my defense. I was kidding? I didn’t mean it? I’m…sorry? Well, that last was certainly true. I had meant my comment to be a witticism, vying with the other courtiers to compliment the Queen. But...
Amanda had the most infectious smile I’d seen on a girl. Her smile thrust dimples into each cheek and tweaked the tip of her nose to one side. Her teeth seemed to be smiling, too, as the delightful curve of her bite pulled into view, one side teasing out slightly ahead of the other. When Amanda smiled, the sides of her chin drew up towards her ears. Now, in itself, that’s not unusual, but it had a magical effect because A...
Our marriage had been pretty good so far, but we always seemed to be tight on money. After almost two years we had most of what we wanted for the apartment, but still wanted other things. Like a newer car for her, and to move to a bigger place. One with a second bedroom, so we could finally start the family Kelly had been hinting at more and more the last few months. I had a swing shift and did not have to be at work unti...
Some believe that Sedona, Arizona, is like the Pyramids—or is it Atlantis?—where celestial forces converge, or where ley lines become singularities, whatever that means, or maybe it has to do with the warp of time and space. Hard to say exactly. Very nonlinear. Some say that extraterrestrials visit Sedona to breed with us. It's said to be very special, lasting hours. There are books about it, self-published, usually. Some...
The cards were slick and stiff in my fingers. They smelled new. I took a long pull from my sweating bottle of beer, feeling relaxed and happy to have people over. A few days ago I read an article about how American men often don’t have close friendships. They get lonely and the loneliness makes them sick. Well, I was determined to nip that in the bud and that same afternoon, when a few of the guys from work were talking a...
Tommy exhaled as he approached his boss’ limousine. The boss’ daughter wanted to go shopping, again, and it was his turn to provide security for her during her little outing. No one who worked for Mr. Sanchez wanted to get stuck babysitting his eighteen-year-old daughter, Violet. Violet was a prissy little bitch who enjoyed torturing her father’s staff, particularly the security staff assigned to protect her when she left...
John went to sleep feeling pretty good about himself. After a long day at work, and making dinner and walking the dog, he'd found enough energy and initiative to write a story for Lush. It was, to him, an interesting tale, involving a buxom MILF and a dishwasher repairman. John thought the scene involving a number-four Phillips-head screwdriver was especially compelling. As he drifted off to sleep he had the image of his...
'I want to fuck you. I want to bend you over the table and fuck you with a strap on so big that it makes Godzilla's dick look small.' This was what I was thinking as I sat casually sipping my double shot vanilla cold brew and listening to my best friend Stacey's mom drone on about inflation and how gluten is bad for everyone whether or not you have an intolerance. "You simply just shouldn't put that poison inside of you,...
I’m somewhat fuzzy on the exact wording but am familiar with the thrust of the famous phrase, if you’ll pardon my pun. Chekov wrote: “If you have an oversized dildo in the first act, by the second, someone—lips parted, eyes screwed tightly shut, gasping for air—will find herself repeatedly impaled on it.” He should have said: “if you use mail order, make sure the company uses discreet packaging.” Who could possibly think...
“Oh my god! Look at that freak!” Gavin had spotted our neighbor, Leigh, who was out in her backyard with her telescope thingy. Leigh’s sister, Millie, had been in our year at school before the car crash. Drunk driver. She wasn’t in any year after that. “Go on, Hayd. Ask her if she’s looking for her sister.” Gavin laughed. At the funeral, Gavin whispered that Millie was in our year as in, the “passed” tense. Spelling the w...
It’s a nice spring night. A beautiful woman sits at the helm of a white passenger van. Four men are handcuffed and wear black satin covers on their heads. The only sounds are the tires rolling over rocks, RnB music, and the sweet voice of the woman as she sings along to the lyrics of a sexy song. The van approaches a fence, the fence opens, the van passes through and the fence closes. After it stops, the sexy woman exits,...
I lazily stroked my cock, as I watched Lisa sensuously pull up her plain white panties, concealing her cum filled pussy and that cute little bubble arse. It wasn't long before a small, damp patch formed around her slit, betraying the fact that she had been fucked, very recently. She took time adjusting her plain white bra to fit properly over her C cup breasts – her still aroused nipples pushed hard against the thin fabri...
My best friend once said, "Dogs should be named after guns. They deserve names like Colt, Remington, Winchester, Savage, Kimber, or Ruger." When you call for your dog, you don't want to shout out weak, silly, or foolish names like Booger, Voldemort, Skidmark, or Fluffy. You want a name that adds character or gravitas to man's best friend. Those weak and silly names should be reserved for cats. Fluffy, Tigger, and Boots ar...
