Reverend James Hellenfyre
First Purgatorian Church of God
2154 W. East Street
Everheart ND

Dear Reverend Helenfyre:

This is May Bendoer. I am writing to explain what happened between me and Henry Longerson at the church picnic last week and ask that you let both of us back on the First Purgatorian Youth Leadership Council.

I want to assure you that what happened at the picnic was a complete accident. Neither Henry nor I intended to break any church rules or do anything to offend Jesus. So here is what happened from the person who was there from the beginning.

On the morning of the picnic, I took a lot of time picking my outfit. I finally decided on my yellow dress. It is pretty and flouncy and perfect for a summer picnic in the country. Its hem reaches almost to my knees so it was modest but still girly and playful. Up top, it was loose and proper while still letting you know that I’m a girl. After that talk you and I had because I accidentally put on my sister’s see-through thong instead of my normal panties before going to the Halloween Party, I was being extra careful about choosing my undies. I decided on a pair of cute but modest cotton panties with little blue unicorns on them. That way if someone saw up my dress like them boys did when I was bobbing for apples at the Halloween party, then they would see beautiful blue unicorns and not my vagina.

Well, it turned out I was so nervous about not getting in any trouble, when I finally left the house for the picnic, I left those darn panties with the unicorns on them laying there on the bed by my stuffed animals. It wasn’t till I was almost to the picnic that a little breeze swooped up there and I realized I didn’t have them on.

Well, I wasn’t going to miss the picnic so I told myself that if I just keep my dress down, I will be fine. Once I got to the picnic, I had fried chicken, punch, and pineapple-upside-down cake and was having a great time when Henry Longerson asked me if I wanted to go for a walk with him. Henry was wearing a white shirt that had the sleeves rolled up and was unbuttoned down the front which allowed me to see his chest muscles. He had on white linen pants, cause it was summer, and he looked like an old-timey movie star. He was handsome, but I didn’t have special feelings for him, so I agreed to go for a walk.

We went walking, and we came upon a meadow in the forest and it was so beautiful that I suggested we frolic in the flowers. We ran and skipped and jumped and I was having such a great time that I sort of forgot about not having those panties on. We did somersaults and cartwheels and handstands and rolled around together in the grass, and had lots of fun. At some point while we were doing all that, Henry became attracted to me, which I knew because the front of his pants, where his penis is was poking out. 

We got tired of frolicking and started to walk across the meadow when we came upon a little fence. We agreed to run toward the fence and jump over it together while holding hands, but neither one of us made it. We both got tripped up and tumbled to the ground on the other side. The front of his pants must have got caught on the fence and tore open because when we hit the ground — me first and then him on top — his penis landed in my vagina. It was a one-in-million thing, like when you close your eyes and throw a basketball over your shoulder and it still goes in the basket. 

 We were both flabbergasted. Henry was thinking I might be hurt, and we were both super-super embarrassed, so we stayed real still for a little bit trying to figure out what to do. Then Henry asks if I am okay and I tell him I think so. His thing is a lot bigger than the boys’ fingers I’ve had in there before, but it don’t hurt at all. I ask him if he is okay, and he says he thinks so too. And then he asks about what we ought to do now, and by that, he means what should we do about his having his penis inside me. I tell him I don’t know because I never had a penis fall into my vagina before. 

Well, we determined the smartest thing is to talk about it and decide together. While we are talking, he mentions that I have a very warm pussy, and I tell him that his cock is very manly and makes me feel nice down there. Then he asks if he could kiss me and I say yes. And he kisses me on the lips three times and on the third kiss he starts shaking like he’s having a seizure or something and I hug him real tight to comfort him until the shaking goes away.

After that, he doesn’t feel as big inside me and he says he should probably pull his penis out, but I wrap my legs around him and tell him to wait because he has to be real careful how he does that. My sister is always complaining to her friends about men who pull their things out too fast and how bad that makes her feel. So we stay still and kiss some more and his thing goes back to normal size. Then he pulls his thing out of me a little bit, but I can tell he is going too fast, so I tell him to stop, put it back in, and start over. He does that and it still ain’t right, but he promises me he will keep practicing as long as I want. After a lot of him pulling out some and then putting it back in to try again, it still don’t feel right to me the way he is doing it, so I tell him that when he puts it in to start over, he should push down on me harder and I lifted up my butt and held my ankles with my hands to give him a better angle and make it easier for him. I knew when I done it that it was not a very lady-like position, but when you are trying to safely get a penis out of your vagina, it don’t make much sense to worry about being lady-like. That position worked better and when he was close to getting it right he had another one of them seizures. 

I was hugging him close again so he’d quit shaking when Mrs. Englehart and her old-lady friend walked up and discovered us. She hit Henry with her walking stick, which makes him pull his penis out of me, but way too fast, and it don’t feel good, just like my sister said. He puts his penis back in his pants and looks sad and scared at the same time, so I jumped up to defend him and told her it wasn’t his fault. 

I have a hard time remembering what happened after that. There was yelling and Mrs Englehart demanding to know what happened to my panties and whether Henry forced himself on me. I told her that my panties were at home and about the accident jumping over the fence, and that Henry hadn’t done anything but what I asked him to do. It was just an accident.

I could tell that Mrs. Englehart didn’t believe me, and maybe you don’t either, but Henry and I know the truth. It was like the time I dropped my cell phone in the soup, only instead of my phone it was Henry’s penis, and instead of soup, it was my honey pot. We didn’t mean for it to happen at all, except for the kissing, which we did on purpose, but there is nothing wrong with a girl with a man’s thing inside her doing a little kissing while trying to figure out what to do about the penis.

Ever since the picnic, things have been different. My sister laughs and winks at me and is always asking if I want to borrow them see-through panties again. I have dreams every night about what happened, and at the end of the dreams, I sometimes have little seizures like the ones Henry had. Henry keeps calling and asking me if I want to go for another walk. And at church, I have heard some very mean and unChristian comments about how these things keep happening just to me and not to other girls on the Youth Council. People need to leave me alone and act like none of this ever happened, just like they did for Emily Kinserhaut when she was the homecoming queen and her tits slipped out of her gown while she was climbing up on the float. 

So there you have it. The truth and nothing but the truth. I hope after reading this you will reinstate both of us to the Youth Council, and everybody will quit talking about Henry and me and what happened because we didn’t do anything wrong and we can still be an example to other young people in the church. 

Sincerely Yours

May Bendoer