After getting caught spying on Ms. Pussy and her cheerleading squad in the showers after practice, Mr. Dick was suspended from Fantasy Memorial High for one week, which meant he could not quarterback the Ragin’ Erections in their big Homecoming rivalry game against East Cumshot. Ms. Pussy was still crowned Homecoming Queen. Her father, Daddy Cop, looking angry and embarrassed, chaperoned her at halftime. Ms. Pussy did not...

Halloween. We're wearing half-assed costumes. I'm SEX OFFENDER BATMAN. I have only the mask, with a sleazy trench coat. You're GUIDANCE COUNSELOR WONDER WOMAN; you have the tiara, bracelets and red boots, paired with a pencil skirt. We go to a Pumpkin Patch scare maze out in the county before hitting the party. Some dickhead Wolfman leaps out of the corn. I leap into action! BIFF! SOCK! POW! OOF! "Oh, fuck, sorry," I say....

In rural Pennsylvania, the county fair is still a big deal. Most counties in coal country still have them. It's understood that most kids are going to skip school to go to the fair, so they shorten the school day that Friday to accommodate. Coincidentally, school is usually closed on the first day of deer season too, though that's more of an unofficial state holiday. Hardly anyone, except for transplants from the city, is...

If only lesbians liked me. I mean liked me liked me. They like me plenty, is why I wish they liked me really. Am I the dumbest man on earth? How stupid is my stupid wish? So obvious is the folly here, but It's lesbians I've love most dear. I did make one dear lesbian cum, A best friend cuz mainly boredom. she even loved and loves me yet, But a romance she finds incorrect. And my other good friend lesbian, Loves most to si...

Valentine's Day. My favorite day of the year. I watched as the beams from the headlights broke through the trees and rested behind a large coal car covered in graffiti. Valentine's Day never disappoints. I smiled wide, a grinning lunatic. They made this too easy, they will never see me coming. As I stalked closer to the car I could see the couple. He was a clean cut young man, muscular with close cropped chestnut hair and...

Caleb was a long way from home. He decided to make the trip to see his parents and have a nice home-cooked Saturday dinner with them. Their boy had graduated and got a job in the big city, he even had a fancy office. He was homesick though. For all the convenience the city offered, it lacked that small-town feel he knew growing up. The kind of place where everyone always asked if you were “so-and-so's boy” or if you were...

Molly had just moved into her new apartment mere blocks from where she worked. It was small and cozy. After a weekend of unpacking, she was finally starting to feel at home. She thought about Rick a lot that weekend. He wasn't someone she planned on dating or even envisioned herself being with but she never imagined dating anyone. He was single, obviously kind since he gave up a Saturday to help her schlep her stuff acros...

Molly was the kind of girl most of the guys in the office liked but few would ever pursue. She wasn't the kind of sexy, never single, girl next door that drew the eyes of her coworkers. She was quiet, mousy, one could say, and a little curvy. She lived alone and ate alone. She did crosswords during her lunch hour and rarely spoke unless spoken to. She found a nicer apartment closer to the office and put up a few fliers in...