Now I don't know about you, but this global pandemic thingy has had a bit of a negative effect on my cash flow situation. Obviously, I've still got the blow job business which I've recently rebranded as 'Suck Jobs' with the fantastic new tagline 'swap sem...
This morning I popped down to Pret a Manger to meet up with my good friend Albert Einstein for a slice of red velvet cake with a vanilla butter-icing topping and a medium cappuccino on the side. "Albert Einstein," I hear you say in a somewhat incredulous...
Following the incomparable commercial and critical success of 'Dear Cum - The Fools' I have been inundated with letters requesting that I publish the complete April Fool letter. Who would have thought that the adventures of a virgin, perky, pokie, bouncy,...
1 April 2021 Ms Cum Girl Cum Cottage Lower Snatch Dripping Cunnyshire Dear Ms Cum It has been brought to our attention here at 'The Daily Heil Publishing Corporation' that the saddo website you're so fond of frequenting is hosting an international c...
I thought we were quite done with these, but it seems that my publishers, 'The Daily Heil Publications Corporation', have a different opinion. We batted it back and forth for a few days without reaching much of a conclusion so they sent a couple of their...
Every once in a while I receive a letter from some deluded fool who fails to understand that this is a porn site and that all anyone is interested in is the before, during and after of exchanging seminal fluids. Saddos with real problems. Though when I sa...
So that's what hate mail looks like. Another one to tick off my bucket list. To be honest I'm fairly certain that many of the kind suggestions I've received are physical impossibilities and I probably ought to clarify that I don't live in a zoo. Additiona...
When I was smaller than my current five foot and maybe one inch I used to have an eagle-eyed Sindy doll. If I remember correctly, which is very unlikely, she'd gouged her eagle-eyes from a Special Boat Service Action Man (GI Joe) that she'd been carrying...
Once in a while, you're presented with a Gordian Knot of a problem that just can't be unpicked even by my slender, delightfully proportioned and perfectly manicured fingers. Problems where Alexander's solution of taking an exceedingly sharp blade to all t...
I know I make this Agony Aunt thing look easy but it isn't. Basically you have to be truly incredible, sort of like Grace Kelly, Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn all rolled into one, with maybe just a dollop of Audrey Tatou on the side just for good meas...
Dear so called fucking CumGirl bitch I'm furious. Fuming. Livid. I've just spent the last three hours with my wand massager pressed hard against my angry clit in the hope that it will calm me down enough to be able to write and tell you what a fucking dis...
Unfortunately there has been some harrumphing and possibly a bit of a kerfuffle at the use of the word 'saddo' in the first 'Dear Cum'. I do understand that this is inflammatory language of a derogatory nature and that people might have felt offended. How...
Ever since I've been visiting Lushland, I've been inundated on a daily basis with heart-wrenching private messages seeking my advice. Now I have enough problems of my own without having to pay attention to other people's and I have no idea why they would...
