Unfortunately there has been some harrumphing and possibly a bit of a kerfuffle at the use of the word 'saddo' in the first 'Dear Cum'. I do understand that this is inflammatory language of a derogatory nature and that people might have felt offended. However it was the considered opinion of my lawyers, Bladdercock & Crapper, so I did write to them seeking clarification. Their reply:

Dear Ms Cum

You are a saddo. Everyone you know is a saddo. Everyone visiting that website is a saddo. If you can't accept that you are a saddo then you are a saddo living in saddo denial. You're all a bunch of saddos worshipping at the altar of saddoism. You are saddo soup with three extra thick slices of saddo sourdough on top. You are a saddo. 

Yours

Issuc Dick - Partner

Bladdercock & Crapper LLP

So there you have it. Typical lawyers; I'm not exactly sure what they're saying seeing as it is so obscured by legalese. All as clear as mud to me. And so on to the letter. 

Hi Cummies

*giggles*

I work as an admin assistant at 'Builds Better'. I have a computer screen and a little microphone headpiece thingy - go me! I've been here six months, it's great and everyone is super cool and lovely. Recently I've started sticking to my chair. Sometimes I slip off and end up on my tushy on the floor because everything is so wet. Please help. 

Ohhh and what do you think is the bestest size for titties? Mine are DD but look smaller and smaller every day. And any advice on workwear? I've been wearing pantsuits since I started here but they feel so itchy and eeuchy. And what's your favourite colour? I think mine might be pink but I don't know if that is right. And make-up, any tips? 

Thanks Cummies

*giggles*

Besty Uptick 

Dear Besty

Thank you for your kind letter. It would be best if you found a man to read you my reply and to help with mansplaining the important bits. I wouldn't want you having to do anything pointless and silly like think about stuff. We both know that thinking is really hard and that too much of it will give you wrinkles and turn you into a battered old crone that nobody wants to fuck (a bit like me). 

'Build Better' is a government/private partnership tasked with producing better women and bringing them to the commercial marketplace. It's really cool that you work there - go you. The computer screen you stare at all day has barely perceivable mind manipulation programmes running 24/7 and if you listen really carefully to your earpiece you may just be able to make out a low hum. This contains subliminal messages that you have been absorbing for the last six months. So the good news is that you have now completed indoctrination and you are now ready for transformation - go you. 

Now I know you didn't understand any of that but at least you have a man there talking to you. Isn't he a dreamboat? No wonder you're dribbling. And he's so smart. So interesting. So clever. No wonder brains are for boys, but don't worry - bimbos are bestest. 

Your cunt is dribbling constantly because it is a fuck hole in need of filling with male cock. If you are a very good girl, Besty, that scrummy man might let you have some of his once he has finished reading and explaining the letter. So the best thing to do is just nod, bat your lashes and whimper gently as he talks whilst imagining that thick muscle slamming into your twitching cunt. Good girl. 

So now you're at the transformation stage to answer some of your other questions. If you put your chin on your chest and look down, if you can see anything that isn't breast then they are too small. Remember that plastic is fantastic, and what you really want is a pair of giant concrete filled balloons strapped to your chest. The last thing you want is anything wobbly, fleshy and natural looking. 

As for clothing there is a very simple rule you can follow: 'less dress, more flesh'. Clothes are an accessory. You are an object. Some men will like their trophies wrapped in pretty pink, figure hugging fragments of fabric. Anything that you wear is for their pleasure and should display your unnatural assets. Please always keep your various fuckholes ready and available at all times. You really don't want an inconvenient pair of panties preventing a swollen, cum filled cock from spurting its yumminess into your needy wanting arse hole or sodden pulsing snatch. 

Whilst with make-up the opposite is true. The last thing you want is anyone seeing you. Remember 'plastic is fantastic'. Trowel it on. If you can't cut it with a knife then it isn't thick enough. If in doubt add more or get a plasterer to give you some tips. Fake is bestest. If your eyelashes don't caress your eyebrows then they just aren't long enough. Beg that gorgeous hunk of man flesh to book you in for lip implants AS-AP. 

There. I hope I've covered everything, Besty. A world of mindless, unthinking, joyful obedience awaits. Don't let silly things like thinking ruin it for you and everyone else. And if you are ever in doubt about what to do or just feeling confused, then giggle. Giggling is the cutest, bestest, yummiest thing ever. Sooooo sexy. 

Good luck with the rest of your life. 

CG

Xxx