Christmas was Nick's least favorite holiday. Most thought of the holiday as joyful and cheerful, but ever since Nick had his heart broken on Christmas by his long-term girlfriend, things just weren't the same. Walking in on another guy balls deep in your girlfriend of six years sure will suck the Christmas joy out of someone. Having finished his degree, Nick found a job down south in Charleston, South Carolina and moved i...

It was tradition to decorate the Christmas tree together for our party. Last year it was at Heidi's house, and before that, Dee's. This year, it was my turn. Everything began normally with the typical flirting and gossiping that ensued whenever we got together. But normality wouldn't last, because Sammy, my old mistress and lover, was joining us this year. I should have known how that would end. I really should have known...

“Sonia, if Rupert could stop groping you for a while, we’re meant to be planning our houseparty, which is only a week away!” Lucy gave them a sassy eyebrow raise, throwing a pointed stare at Rupert’s hand on Sonia’s midriff. “And you two!” She glared at Sonia’s hand, high on Tom’s thigh, on the other end of the same large sofa. Sitting opposite them in her armchair, Lucy playfully called out her drunk, horny housemates. T...

“Well, Mrs. Claus,” said Santa as he sank wearily into his armchair, “It’s only the eighth of July and we’ve finished making all the toys for all the children in the world already. By my count, that’s a record. The elves have certainly excelled themselves this year!” “They certainly have, Santa,” exclaimed his wife, “And so, I think you’ll allow, have we.” “That’s true. I’ve never worked harder in all my years. My sack is...

Ugh, it’s after five on a Friday and, of course, I’m still at work. I swear I had the day all planned out so I would get all my work done, still have time to decorate for tomorrow’s holiday party, be out the door by five. It’s not like I have plans tonight, but I wanted to start my personal party prep tonight, so I wouldn’t be rushing tomorrow. Even though it’s a little out of my job description, I’m happy I volunteered t...

On the First Day of Christmas, My Best Friend’s Husband Gave to Me… ...a dick underneath the pantry. No, really. When I went to fetch the fine china for my lovely guests (my best friend of ten years Sarah and her husband Brandon) within the lazy susan underneath my top cabinet there it was standing tall and haughty and ornamented with a shiny party store pink ribbon--a long purple dragon dildo. Now, I’d joked on many an o...

Susy was not overly enthused when I accepted an invitation to an office Christmas Dinner Party in Canary Wharf. Over four hours in the evening we were to celebrate my company making yet another substantial profit, thereby almost doubling my capital. "Come on, my darling. We need to show a face. It might even be enjoyable." My fiery spouse pouted as we entered the Hyatt Regency Hotel where we were ushered into the Chartwel...

Most people spend Christmas with friends and family. This year, I'm not one of them. Before you misjudge me as one of those saddos, sitting in my underpants and T-shirt in a soulless flat nursing a pint and the TV remote searching for Die Hard movies, let me stop you. It's not because I don't love my family or want to see the kids’ faces light up when they open their presents. I adore that. I desperately want that back. M...