On the First Day of Christmas, My Best Friend’s Husband Gave to Me… ...a dick underneath the pantry. No, really. When I went to fetch the fine china for my lovely guests (my best friend of ten years Sarah and her husband Brandon) within the lazy susan underneath my top cabinet there it was standing tall and haughty and ornamented with a shiny party store pink ribbon--a long purple dragon dildo. Now, I’d joked on many an o...