Dick pic Stories

Exhausted! Just frigging… well I said it already. I was lucky to have a cool boss like Lynn, who gave me my own office with the caveat of her barging in infrequently. Oh, did I mention that I worked from her home? I didn’t, huh? Yes, my space in her abode made me feel quite fancy in its rich wood-coloured glory. She was a lawyer with little desire for socialization – except with me of course – so she held me close. Hey, i...

I think we can all heave a huge and much-needed sigh of relief at the knowledge that we've all nearly reached the end and there isn't much more of this shit. So, splash yourself out a glass of pink poison, give it a little swirl in the glass so it refracts the light, and then chuck it down your throat not letting it touch the sides on its way down. Just consider it a medicinal necessity. And with that, let's go 'to the le...

Dear Cum Lush,My really hot wife recently fell down the stairs and the police couldn’t prove it wasn’t an accident, so that’s good. Anyway, she bonked her head and now she thinks she’s sixteen.The sex has been fantastic, although I think her mind is still degrading, because we’ve gone from, “are your parents home,” to “is your wife home,” to “is Mom home” and she keeps shouting, “Oh, Daddy,” which is kind of hot, except f...

Dear BumGirl,'Hirsute trucker'!!! It was a pizza delivery moped as you well know, and I really object to you describing me as 'hirsute'. Certainly, you and your assorted collective of 'hen do' harlots and horny housewives didn't seem to object to the natural curls that adorned my pubic mound and lined my cunt lips. In fact, I distinctly remember one of them purring with delight at the sight of a 'natural redhead' and all...

Now in the salad bowl of existence that is our multi-cultural, multi-racial, pantheist, pan-sexual world sometimes, it might appear that what divides us is greater than the sum of our shared humanity. So it is more important than ever that we can celebrate and, dare I say it, worship those most divine of creatures that transcend our petty divisions with the universality of their adorable essence. I am, of course, talking...

So it seems that some of the big swinging dickheads down at Head Office have been getting their knickers in a twist at the lack of penetration in the eighteen to twenty-four demographic, which they'd know was bugger-shite if they spent as much time in their local park as I do because there's plenty of penetrating going on down there I can tell you. And some smegma-breathed, cunt-bitch (and yes, I am looking at you Janine)...