Makennah took a sharp breath and sized up Jane’s appearance before replying. Jane herself looked like she’d just gotten done with a shower after sex, especially as she too, appeared to be a guest of The Sleepy Inn. “Who am I doing?” Makennah finally said, looking Jane up and down. “Who are you doing?” Jane looked to the side and cleared her throat. “Alright, looks like we have a standoff, then,” Jane said. “That’s right,”...

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. It was hosting my first Christmas Eve television spectacular; it was my rellies’ Christmas Day shit show. It was Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, gold standard families, oi, oi, oi; it was a public debasement of that currency, bah humbug rules, okay! Christmas morning dawned full of promise; the sun was beating down, yet the oppressive heat that stymies outdoor eating was for an...

Maria excused herself from the kitchen as if to go to the bathroom, as Makennah pored over the major league baseball box scores in that day's Springfield Sentinel. In the bathroom, Maria found Allen, gathering up his clothes, his naked pink/tanned ass sticking up as he rooted along the floor for his flip-flops. “Allen!” Maria said as emphatically but as quietly as she could. “You have to leave, now!” “What the fuck!” Alle...

Maria pulled her hair away from her shoulder blades as Allen soaped up her back with the shower kooshie. He scrubbed all along Maria’s back and her ticklish sides, to the top of her ass, as she sighed and giggled at his light touches. “Gonna get you squeaky clean, baby girl,” Allen murmured. As he bent over to scrub Maria down, his left thigh hit something. He turned around and saw an enormous suction cup dildo protruding...

“Let’s” — pop — “be clear” — smack — “about something,” Hal said, eyes closed. Pop-pop. “We are not fucking,” Hal grunted, as he and Officer Sinclair fucked, doggy-style, filling room 319 of The Sleepy Inn with the sounds of squeaking mattress springs and urgent, illicit sex. It was 9 p.m. Hal had told his wife, Suzanne, he was speaking at the city council meeting that night. There was no city council meeting that night....

Jane was back in the police station, drawing attention, and not just because she was a stunning, leggy blonde whose outfit showcased her figure. She approached the desk sergeant, who looked like Norm from Cheers, except in uniform, and asked to see the blotter. Norm handed over a large black three-ring binder and resumed eating from a king-sized Almond Joy. The first page always listed actual arrests made for that month,...

“Springfield Sentinel,” Holly, the receptionist, said professionally into her headset. “Holly, may I speak to Jane,” Allen said, rather agitatedly. Jane was a twenty-four-year-old, recent journalism school graduate working the cops beat at the Sentinel, her hometown paper. More importantly, she had been Allen's babysitter back when she was in high school. Allen desperately needed her to not write anything about the incide...

After getting caught spying on Ms. Pussy and her cheerleading squad in the showers after practice, Mr. Dick was suspended from Fantasy Memorial High for one week, which meant he could not quarterback the Ragin’ Erections in their big Homecoming rivalry game against East Cumshot. Ms. Pussy was still crowned Homecoming Queen. Her father, Daddy Cop, looking angry and embarrassed, chaperoned her at halftime. Ms. Pussy did not...

As Nick approached the Coquina Beach changing cabanas, he saw that Max and Jay were eagerly waiting for him. They both smiled and laughed from the moment that they saw him, clearly eager to collect on the debt that Nick had owed. Jay made an overexaggerated waving motion that looked as if he were flagging in an aircraft on a landing deck. Nick took a deep breath. He knew that he was in for a rough day, at least the next h...