As the four of them wake up in the same bed this morning, they all know there's no turning back now. Three of them are wondering how it all happened; this isn't what they were thinking about yesterday. Rosy's snuggled between Jill and Carla, and she's not wondering at all. In fact, she knows this is all her doing.

In time, it probably would have happened anyway, but when Rosy read the book and made herself pregnant with her desire, she greased the slippery slope they were already on. They're all in love now, and all she has to do is wait for the next logical step.

She's confident the next step, tying the knot, will happen in due course. As the book said to do, she keeps this all to herself. She smiles with confidence, knowing her intuition will show her the way when it's time to take the next step.

"How'd we end up like this?" Allie says as she wakes up.

"I don't know," says Carla, "but I know I'm in love with everyone in this bed, and I don't ever want it to change."

"Yeah, it's a beautiful thing. I've never felt this good, ever."

Rosy just smiles as she hears them talking. Carla's hooked. Her plan is working.

"We should probably just go out to breakfast," Jill says later, when they're sitting around drinking coffee.

"Yeah," Allie agrees, "we've got a lot of shopping to do, and we still have to take showers."

"I wanna shower with Jill," Carla says. "Do you mind, Rosy, if I shower with your girlfriend?"

"Go ahead, baby. She's not just my girlfriend anymore. She's our girlfriend. When you two are done, I'd love to shower with our girlfriend Allie."

Carla smiles her approval as she takes Jill's hand, "C'mon, lover," she says, "let's go get clean."

Under the warm shower water, Jill and Carla see each other in a different light. Their soapy hands roam up and down their bodies, they stare speechless into each other's eyes, they're falling deeper in love.

Jill's cock gets hard as Carla presses her voluptuous body against her. Her sexiness is so different than the petite little Rosy with her beautiful, but dainty little tits. Carla's larger breasts glisten as the water drips off her excited nipples.

Jill wants to suck on her tits, but Carla has a different intention. She submits herself to Jill as she kneels to suck her cock. She brings her to orgasm rather quickly and kisses her with a cum-filled mouth. They share the cum with messy kisses, and seal their love in a way they couldn't do last night.

They're both giggling as they dry each other off when Rosy and Allie come in to take their shower.

"I hope you have as much fun as we did." Carla giggles.

"Oh, I'm sure we will," Rosy giggles as they kiss.

Carla's drying Jill's hair when Allie and Rosy  come into the bedroom.

"Oooooo... Allie looks like she just got sucked off," Carla laughs.

"Maybe," Rosy giggles.

"Maybe...? I think it's more like probably."

"Well," Rosy giggles, "I know you gave Jill a blow job. I tasted it when I kissed you. I didn't want Allie to feel left out."

As they start getting dressed and Jill and Allie put on their bras, Rosy asks them, "Would you mind dressing like boys today? I wanna hold hands when we shop."

"Yeah," Carla says, "you're gonna be girls soon enough. Let me and Rosy love your boy side while we still can."

"Whatever pleases you is what we'll do," Allie says as she takes off her bra.

When they're all dressed and ready to go, Jill's wondering how much money they should take.

"I don't know how much four sets of luggage is gonna cost," Allie says. "We better take plenty. And look at the girls' winter coats, I think they both need a new coat."

"We don't need new coats," Rosy protests, "this one's kept me warm for three years. It might be a little worn, but it's still warm."

"That's what we mean," Jill says, "It's three years old. You need a new one."

Carla and Rosy argue with them about not needing new coats as Allie drags their cash stash out from under the bed. They suddenly stop talking when they see it's stuffed with $100 bills and Allie counts out $1500 each for her and Jill to carry with them. They have no idea there's close to $50,000 in the box.

"Fuck..." Carla gasps, "where did you get all that money?"

"From fuckin' and suckin' rich men's cocks," Allie says. "I told you... the whore business pays us well. Now... we don't want to hear any more bitching out of you girls when we want to buy you nice things. We love you, we can afford it, and you're fuckin' worth it."

"Doesn't it worry you to have all that cash in your apartment?" Rosy wonders. "Shouldn't you put it in the bank?"

"We don't like having this much cash lying around," Jill says, "but we can't move it into our bank accounts fast enough.

"We made that money from whoring, and prostitution is against the law," she explains. "We have to be able to justify where the money in our bank accounts comes from in case anyone were to ever ask. That's why we use cash so much. When we start remodeling our house, we'll be able to get rid of a lot of it."

"Speaking of our new house," Allie says, "if we have time, let's take the girls out to see it."

"Oh yes!" Rosy jumps up and down, "we wanna see it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They have the best time at breakfast, sitting around the table talking and laughing. They've never felt better in their entire lives than they do right now. They have the most fun when the girls try to find out where they're going on their trip.

Carla and Rosy have their hands under the table teasing their cocks as they try to make 'em tell, but they don't have any luck. The 'boys' are determined to keep their secret.

"We're not telling," Jill says, "Christmas is only a week away, so you'll know soon enough."

Since four sets of luggage are going to take up a lot of room, they go to the mall in separate cars. On the way there, Rosy tells Jill, "I'm so happy we're all in love now."

"Yeah, that was quite a night last night. Carla really got turned on."

"That's 'cuz she finally admitted she's in love with you as much as she is with Allie."

"I realized it last night, too. I mean, I knew I loved her, but now I'm sure I'm actually in love with her, just like I am with you and Allie."

"I knew you were. I knew we all were. I just wanted everyone to see it."

"I think you were putting thoughts in Carla's head last night," says Jill. "I heard what you were telling her while I was fucking her. It was like you planned it all out."

"Maybe I did," she giggles, "maybe I didn't."

"What were you planning? Cuz I know you planned it."

"I can't say right now. The book says to keep your desires to yourself until they come true."

"Ohhhhh...? so you've been reading the book?"

"Whoops... I guess I told you my secret."

"No, you just said you've been reading the book. The book is powerful stuff when you do what it says. So... you don't have to tell me your plan, I can probably guess what it is. Just tell me... Did you make yourself pregnant with an idea?"

"Yes... I'm very pregnant with a very good desire. I'll tell you what it is when it happens."

"Fair enough, my sweetheart. I love the shit out of you. But you already know that."

"Yes I do, Jill. I know it in my heart, and it fills me with joy."

The mall is packed with Christmas shoppers when they arrive. The girls love having their 'guys' arms around them as they walk through the crowds. They're in love and they want the world to know about it.

They look at winter coats for the girls first. Carla and Rosy feel like rich girls as they try on coats so far out of their price range they've never even tried coats like this on before. Carla falls in love with one with a luxurious fur collar. The price is high, but Allie says, "If you like it, babe, buy it. I told you, we can afford it." Carla's walking on air with her new coat in her shopping bag.

When they go to a different store, Rosy takes Allie's hand so Carla and Jill will have to walk as a couple. It's all part of her plan. She's getting them used to thinking of themselves as a single unit of four, rather than two separate couples.

When Rosy falls in love with an expensive coat at a different store, Jill buys it for her in an instant. Price is no barrier for these two high-class, well-paid whores. They've got money and they love spending it on nice things for the girls they love.

Shopping for luggage takes longer than they thought. This close to Christmas, many of the stores are out of stock, but they do manage to find what they need. As soon as they get in the car, the girls put on their new coats, riding home in the best coats they've ever owned.

After dropping the luggage off at the apartment, they all get in Jill's car to drive out to the new property. There's still plenty of daylight left, and it's a good thing. They go down the wrong road first before they find it.

"This is way out here," Carla comments.

"Not that far if you don't get lost first," Allie laughs.

They turn down their lane and Rosy asks, "Where's the house? There's nothing but cornfields out here."

"Just past those trees," Jill says. "The place looks like shit right now. That's why we got it so cheap. But it's got lots of possibilities."

Rosy falls in love with the house as soon as she sees it. "Wow! That's a good-sized house."

"Four bedrooms," Allie says.

Getting out of the car, Jill tells them they can't go inside the house because they won't get the key until it clears escrow. As they walk around looking through the windows, Jill points out things they'll have to repair or replace once they take possession.

Rosy's thrilled with the whole experience. She can't tell anyone yet, but she knows they'll all be living here together. It feels like home to her already as she walks around in the chilly air wearing her new warm winter coat.

"Wow, a big back yard," Carla says, "you could have a big garden back here. I've always wanted a garden."

"We're gonna build a Jacuzzi room here in the back of the house," Jill says.

"Is that barn yours too?" Carla asks.

"Yup... it's not a big barn," says Allie, "but it's ours."

"Look, Rosy, they got woods in the back of their property."

"Those woods are our properly too," Allie boasts.

"Shit, how many acres is this?"

"Fifteen," says Jill, "our property runs down to the Racoon River, but it's too fuckin' thick to walk through the trees right now. We'll have to cut a trail when we move in to see how far the river is."

"Sounds like a fun adventure," says Rosy. "I'm so happy for you!" What she really means is she's happy for all of them, if her plan works out.

It's getting dark fast, and having seen all they can see, they head back to Des Moines. The girls don't even think about going back to their apartment tonight. They're all in love now, and they'll be spending more nights together than apart from now on.

When they go to bed, it's Rosy's turn to get fucked like Carla did last night. Allie fucks her first as Jill sucks on her nipples while Carla kisses her. Rosy's so turned on as her three lovers make love to her, but it doesn't turn her on as much as the thought of her desire becoming a reality.

"I love you so much," Carla tells Rosy, loud enough so everyone can hear. "Last night you showed me how much I'm in love with all three of you."

"You already knew it, you stubborn little bitch," Rosy giggles. "All I did was help you admit it."

"So I'm a stubborn bitch now, huh?" Carla laughs sarcastically.

"No, you're not a stubborn bitch now," Rosy  plays, "but you were. Now that you've admitted you're in love with all of us, you've turned into a little slut when we're in bed with our two girlfriends."

"Oh... so now I'm a slut? Well, maybe I am, and maybe I like it. Maybe I'm gonna have to show you what a slut like me can do."

"You'll have to wait your turn," Rosy laughs as Allie fucks her, "my pussy's occupied at the moment."

"So it is... but I'm not worried. I can wait till my lovers Allie and Jill are done with you."

"Speaking of other lovers..." Rosy tells her, "why don't you get Jill warmed up for me. You know how much you love sucking her cock."

Jill and Allie laugh as they listen to the two girls going back and forth, playing with each other with their words. For girls, mental stimulation can be just as erotic as physical stimulation, something Jill and Allie will discover when they start taking estrogen next month. For now, though, they're getting off listening as their girlfriends play like this.

When Allie shoots her load into Rosy, Carla gets between her legs, licking up the cum as it seeps from her pussy. The girls madly kiss each other as Jill takes her turn fucking Rosy. When it's all over, they snuggle up under the covers like they did last night.

Four people in a bed gets pretty cramped, but none of them seem to mind. The newness of the four of them sleeping together turns them on as their naked bodies get all tangled up with each other. Like last night, Rosy stays awake thinking about her desire.

Like the book says, she thinks about it as if it's already happened. The more she thinks about it, the more vivid it becomes. After seeing the house Jill and Allie bought, she imagines them all living and loving together in their own little paradise. She falls asleep thinking of herself married to Jill and Carla married to Allie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday morning, it's back to reality. After breakfast they take the girls home so they can get ready for work and Jill goes to the post office to pick up new lube orders. They're selling close to a thousand bottles of lube a week now, and Jill couldn't be more pleased.

That afternoon, while they're working on orders, Sarah calls Jill to say she's finished her oil paintings. Jill had almost forgotten she'd even ordered them, things have been going so fast. She's excited to hear the news and runs right over to pick them up.

"Hi, Jill!" Sarah says as she opens the door.

"Merry Christmas, Sarah. I can't wait to see my paintings."

"I think you'll like them. I had fun painting you guys."

"Oh... my God," Jill says when she sees them, "they're gorgeous! I love these!"

"I surprised myself," Sarah says, "it was so much fun. I love painting naked bodies. Human bodies are so beautiful, especially when I make 'em look erotic."

"These are erotic as hell, so horny-looking, but so classy at the same time. You really have a gift, Sarah, the way you paint naked bodies."

"I wish I could paint like this all the time. It's a lot more satisfying than boring commercial art."

"Why don't you? If you'd rather do this, why not?"

"Who would I sell them to? It's not like everyone's dying to have an erotic painting of their naked body to hang on the wall."

"You wouldn't need that many. How long did it take to paint these?"

"It takes about a day to paint each one."

"So... if you put ads in the fuck magazines like I do with my lube, you might get five couples a week out of the whole country who'd like a picture like this for their bedroom wall."

"That would take a lot of money to set it all up. Money I don't have."

"I could loan you the money to get it set up. Think about it. You won't know if there's a demand out there unless you try. But anyways, how's your love life going? Is he in love with you yet?"

"No, not yet, but he loves having sex with me. I love it too."

"What does he do for a living?"

"Jason's a photographer. Kind of an artist like me, except he uses a camera instead of a paintbrush."

"Well, I'll be thinking of you and sending thoughts his way for him to fall in love with you. Anyways, I gotta run."

She hands Sarah a Christmas card with the gift certificate she got at Naughty Lady. "Here, Sarah, this is from me and Allie. Merry Christmas, I'll see you after the holidays."

"Merry Christmas to you, too. Thanks so much for your business," Sarah says as she hugs Jill.

After Jill's gone, Sarah opens her envelope and starts to cry when she sees the $200 gift certificate. The note Jill wrote touches her when she reads it. Jill told her what a beautiful person she is and to use the gift certificate to buy herself some sexy clothes to wear when she's with Jason. She tells her guys fall in love with sexy-dressed women, and it's time she starts dressing like the sexy woman she is.

Later in the week, they've pretty much got everything done before Christmas. There haven't been as many lube orders to send out, and they don't have any dates this week either. Everyone is getting ready for Christmas, and the guys at the Club are with their families this week, not with their whores.

Jill and Allie welcome the break. As they pack their suitcases for their trip, they wonder how many girl clothes they should take. The girls said they'd like to enjoy what little masculinity they have left before they start taking estrogen next month.

Looking through their boy closet, they're amazed at how few boy clothes they actually have left. They've got tons of girl clothes, but just haven't bought any new boy clothes this year. Luckily they both have good winter boy coats.

Jill thinks about her new friend Josie, and gives her a call to wish her a Merry Christmas. They spend two hours talking about all kinds of things related to being transgender girls.

Jill asks a lot of questions about what to expect when she gets on estrogen, and Josie's happy to share the experiences she's had during her first year of treatments. When Jill asks her about how it's affected her sex life, Josie gets a little depressed, because she doesn't have a sex life.

She's been afraid of sex ever since her first lover's dad caught her sucking off his son in his room. That was way back in high school when she was still a boy, but the experience scarred her and she's been terrified to try having sex ever since.

It's one of the reasons she's buried herself in school, so she could avoid dealing with her problem. She loves being a girl, but just can't let herself have a sexual relationship with a male. And she's never been sexually attracted to females.

Jill tries talking to her about it, but she constantly changes the subject. Finally, Jill changes the subject and asks her if she's going anywhere for Christmas. Josie tells her Christmas is a depressing time for her, as it is for many of the girls in the program. Most of them have been disowned by their families, and for the girls like Josie who haven't found a boyfriend, Christmas is a sad day.

Jill's a little depressed herself when she hangs up the phone. She knows in two days she'll have to confront her own family again. After the terrible experience she had at Thanksgiving, she's not looking forward to Christmas Day.

She hasn't spent any time gift shopping for her family except for the fifteen minutes she spent at the grocery store, buying them each a card she'll put money in. A $100 bill in 1974 is a lot of money to a kid, and she hopes it'll make them happy.

Rosy comes over Wednesday night like she has so many other Wednesdays. But this Wednesday is special for her, after the four of them had sex and slept together in the same bed twice last weekend. She's hooked on her desire for her and Carla to become their wives.

She takes them to bed and shows them what a little slut she can be, sucking their cocks and letting them fuck her all they want. She likes to be dominated and absolutely loves sucking one of their cocks while the other fucks her from behind.

She probably would have even let them fuck her in the ass if they wanted, but the thought never enters their minds. Ass fucking is Jill and Allie's thing. They don't think the girls would like it much, so they've never even mentioned it to them.

She turns them on to no end as she sells her sexiness. She can't tell them, but she's showing them how much fun they can have if they marry her and Carla and have them around every day and every night. Allie doesn't have a clue of her desire; she just thinks Rosy's really horny tonight.

But Jill has a good clue. She knows Rosy's been reading the book, and she's made herself very pregnant with a desire she holds in her heart. She's got a pretty good idea Rosy wants to get married. As she thinks about it herself, except for being in love with Allie, she can't think of a reason she wouldn't marry her.

In the eight months the four of them have been dating, there's never been an argument of any kind, and they've never been happier in their lives. Marriage just seems like the next logical step. Jill keeps these thoughts to herself, knowing if it's supposed to happen, the situation will present itself all on its own.

As she's driving Rosy home, she probes her mind in an attempt to learn what she's thinking. "You were a hot little thing tonight," she tells her.

"Did you like it?"

"Oh, I liked it alright. You were fucking like a hot little pregnant girl."

"What makes you think that?"

"Cuz... we've been having sex eight months now, and you've never fucked like that. I know you've been reading the book, so I know you know how to get yourself pregnant with an idea. I know you've made yourself pregnant with something."

Rosy can be a sly little fox, just like Jill. She knows Jill's starting to figure it out, but her intuition says not to tell. It's not yet time to reveal what's in her heart.

"Well," she says, "I can't lie to you, so I won't deny it. But I told you Sunday, I'm keeping it to myself until it happens. I know you're trying to make me tell, but it won't work."

There's a period of silence until Jill pulls up in front of the apartment. She turns off the car and gives Rosy a hug.

"OK, you're right. I am trying to make you tell, but I'll stop. I'll let you tell me in your own time. I trust you as much as I love you."

"Thanks, baby, I'd love to tell you now, but I just can't. It wouldn't be the right thing to do. I'm pretty sure you'll find out when we're on our trip, wherever the hell it is you're taking us."

"Are you looking forward to seeing your mom tomorrow?" Jill asks.

"Not really. When I was there for Thanksgiving, she nagged me the whole time about getting married. If she does it again, I've decided I'm just gonna tell her the truth. I'm gonna tell her how I love Carla and I love you."

"You think that's a good idea?"

"I don't know and I don't care. If she doesn't like it, that's her problem. I'm just getting so fucking tired of having to lie about what I am and who I'm in love with. God-dammit, I'm sick and tired of society telling me who I can and can't love. It just pisses me off!"

"Yeah, it pisses me too. It's such a bitch for people like us who don't fit into the mold. I'm not looking forward to seeing my mom, either."

"When are you going to tell her you're transitioning to female?"

"Oh fuck... I don't wanna even think about it. Not till we get back for sure. I know I have to tell her, but I'm dreading it 'cuz I know it's gonna break her heart," Jill starts to cry, "but I am who I am. I can't ever go back to being a boy."

"Oh baby," Rosy hugs her, "I know it's gonna be hard, but just know that I'm here with you. I'll never leave your side."

As they share their fears, they're comforted knowing they have each other to lean on. After a few tender kisses in the apartment, they say goodbye until after Christmas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The fear lingers in Jill and Allie when they wake up on Christmas Eve morning. They've got their suitcases all packed for their trip to Tahoe with the girls. All they have to do now is survive Christmas with their families.

"Are you gonna wear your earrings?" Allie asks.

"Fuck yeah, I'm gonna wear 'em. I'm letting my girl hair out too."

She remembers what she and Rosy talked about last night. "If she thinks I look like a girl, that's tough shit. It's who I am and I'm fuckin' tired of hiding it. Besides, she's gonna know I'm a girl soon enough. She might as well start getting used to it," Jill says defiantly.

"Well, you do what you want," says Allie. "After Thanksgiving, I don't wanna hear no more shit. I'm gonna leave my earrings at home. I just wanna get through Christmas so we can take our girls on vacation."

Jill feels her defiance as she kisses Allie goodbye, but once she's on the road, her mood suddenly changes. Defiance turns to fear, and fear turns to sadness the closer she gets to Storm Lake.

What makes her sad more than anything is she feels like this'll be the last Christmas she'll be with them. It's for sure the last time they'll see her as a boy, what little boy she still has left in her.

The reality of Christmas hits her hard when she gets to her hometown. All the stores and houses have their decorations up, just like when she grew up here. When she gets to her mom's house, there are no decorations. Her dad would always hang Christmas lights around the porch, but her dad died last year. No one has taken his place.

She feels his absence as she walks to the front door, wondering if it was a good idea to let her hair out and wear her earrings. "Merry Christmas!" she yells when she opens the door.

"Jerry... Jerry!" her little sister Vickie runs to greet her and Jill picks her up for kisses and hugs.

She has a tear in her eye when her mom comes to hug her. "I wasn't expecting you till later," she says.

Her mom thinks she still works at the print shop, so Jill lies to her, "They let us off for Christmas Eve, since we have to be back the day after Christmas."

"I guess that means you'll have to go back tomorrow night?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid so."

"At least you're here for Christmas Eve. I see you haven't cut your hair."

"No, I'm not planning on cutting it either. I'm wearing my earrings, too."

"Well, I already told you what I think about it. I'm not going to say any more about it. If you want to run around looking like a girl, that's your business."

"I know what you think about it, but it's my hair and I like the way I look. I just wanna have a nice Christmas with you while I'm here."

"That's what I want too," her mom's fighting back tears, "it's hard enough having Christmas without your father around."

They both fight back tears as they hug with little Vickie in Jill's arms. "They say the first Christmas is the hardest," her mom says.

Her mom would break down if Jill wasn't holding six-year-old Vickie. Somehow she maintains so Vickie won't have to see her cry. After a minute of just holding each other, the mood gets lighter as her brother Tyler comes out to see Jill.

"Jerry, you look like a girl," twelve-year-old Tyler laughs and teases.

"Hush!" her mom scolds.

Her other sixteen-year-old brother Mike comes out of his room to say high. As a teenager, he's in his own world and soon sits on the couch reading a comic book.

It's still early afternoon and Jill asks her mom, "You want me to put up the Christmas lights on the porch?"

"Would you?" her mom accepts.

Jill goes up to the cold attic and digs out the box of Christmas lights. For the next hour, she strings up the lights as she remembers her dad putting them up every year. For all his bad traits, Jill misses him right now. She fights back tears as memories of her sad childhood come back to haunt her.

Back in the house when she's done, her mom says, "I didn't plan anything special for supper, I wasn't sure when you'd come in."

"Why don't we just go out for dinner? I'll pay for it."

"Are you sure? It's so expensive to eat out."

"Don't worry, Mom, I have plenty of money. They gave me a big raise at work," she lies.

Going out to dinner was a great idea. Not once in her childhood did they ever go out to eat as a family, since her dad always drank away a good portion of his weekly paycheck. She's grateful she can afford to treat them on Christmas Eve. The restaurant atmosphere helps her mom get her mind off her deceased husband. Jill can tell this is a hard time for her.

When she goes to the cashier with the check, almost everyone in the restaurant gives her dirty looks because of her appearance. While she's standing in line to pay she overhears a comment from someone behind her, "Jeeezus... is that a boy or a girl?" a man says. "What is this world coming to?" the man's wife replies.

Jill lets it all go. It makes her glad she doesn't live in this town. It's always sucked for her; nothing's changed and nothing ever will. She cheers herself up thinking about being on an airplane with Rosy in forty-eight hours.

Back at home, they all gather under the Christmas tree to open presents. There aren't that many under the tree this year. Her mom hands her a present and she opens it to find a new pair of pants. They look nice but Jill wonders how many times she'll actually wear them, now that she wears girl clothes most of the time.

"I hope they fit," her mom says, "I think I remembered your size. I'm sorry there aren't more presents. I bought mostly for the younger ones this year."

"It's fine, Mom, you didn't need to get anything for me."

The kids are overjoyed when they open Jill's card and find their $100 bill. They were kind of disappointed with the cheap toys they got, but Jill's money makes their night. Her mom is surprised when she opens her card.

Jill knew Christmas was going to be hard for her financially, so she gave her $500. She tells Jill she shouldn't have given her so much, but inside she's relieved she'll be able to recover from Christmas expenses.

Jill's glad the Christmas gathering with her aunts and uncles isn't until Sunday, when she'll be gone. Christmas Day is a quiet time at home watching the kids play with their new toys and just being together. She loves having little Vickie sit on her lap as she reads one of her new Dr. Seuss books to her.

It's supposed to snow later that afternoon, and Jill uses it as an excuse to leave early. This is the one time she'd rather spend more time with them, since it's the last time they'll see her as a boy, and quite possibly the last time she'll ever see them again. If she wasn't going on the trip with her girlfriends tomorrow, she would have stayed longer.

With an uneasy feeling in her soul, she kisses everyone goodbye. Her mom sensed a difference in her the moment she walked in the door yesterday. Maybe it was the way Jill defiantly let her female hairstyle be seen, or maybe it was just her intuition. But as they hug and kiss each other goodbye, they both sense the finality of the moment.

She stands at the door watching Jill as she gets in her car and drives away. Unable to hold back the tears, she goes into the bathroom where the kids won't be able to see her cry.

Jill's feeling it too. Her vision is blurred as the tears run down her cheeks. Several times along the way, she has to pull over and just let herself cry it out. By the time she gets back to Des Moines, she's stopped crying, but her soul is filled with sadness.

She feels alone as she gets out of her boy clothes and into her nightgown. Seeing their suitcases packed for their trip makes her feel a little better, knowing tomorrow will be a better day.

As she drinks a cup of hot tea, reflecting on the changes she's gone through this past year, the only thing she regrets is not being able to share her true self with the family she grew up with. Being transgender is not something society even knows about in 1974, let alone accepts.

The silence in the room is interrupted by the phone, and Jill welcomes the rings as she gets up to answer. "Hello?"

"Hi, Jill, it's Carla."

"Carla...! I thought you weren't coming home till tomorrow?"

"I wasn't, but I came back early."

"How was your Christmas?"

"Not as bad as Thanksgiving, but not great. Can I come over? I'm feeling lonely. I need to be with someone."

"Yeah... c'mon over. I'm feeling lonely too."

As they hug each other when Carla arrives, they both start to cry. They're feeling the sadness of not being accepted by their families because of their sexuality. At the same time, though, they're comforted by the love and security they've found in each other.

"I'm so glad you were home," Carla says.

"I used the snowstorm as an excuse to leave early. It was hard leaving, but I knew I had to."

"It didn't snow that much, but I used the snowstorm as an excuse too," Carla says. "The atmosphere with my family was cold as ice."

"Did your mom give you shit about being lesbian again?"

"No, she didn't have to. I'm sure she told my two brothers, because they hardly talked to me at all. Neither did their wives. Everyone was so cold to me; I just had to get out of there. How about you?"

"My mom was different this time. It was like when I got there with my hair let out, she knew I've changed. It was really hard because this was the first Christmas without my dad. We didn't talk about my hair at all, we just wanted to be together."

Jill starts to cry, "When I left them, it was like the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life."

"That's how I felt when I left," Carla shares, "I cried when I was driving back, but then, halfway home, I started feeling better when I thought about you and Allie and Rosy. We've made our own family, Jill. No matter how much we get rejected because of what we are, we've got each other, and to me, that's all that counts."

"It made me feel better too, when I thought of what the four of us have together. I've never felt so loved as when we're all together. We really have made our own family."

They kiss as they stare into each other's eyes. On a different night, in a different mood, their kisses might have taken them to bed for erotic sex. But on this night, they go to bed sharing the intimacy of trusting their innermost feelings with each other. The only thing they say as they press their naked bodies against each other is, "I'm so in love with you."

They've just about drifted off to sleep when Allie comes in the door around midnight. Carla jumps out of bed to kiss her lover. "Hi, Allie-love...! I'm so glad to see you!"

"Oh Carla, my sweetheart, I'm just as glad to see you!"

"How was your Christmas?"

"You don't wanna know," Allie sighs, "I felt like shit the whole time I was there. I've felt like shit all day, until I just saw your beautiful naked self coming to kiss me. Damn, I'm so in love with you."

"I'm in love with you too, Allie-love, and I'm in love with Jill. Come to bed, darling... you're home now. You're with your real family."

Under the covers, sandwiched between Jill and Allie, Carla lies awake long after her two lovers have fallen asleep. She feels love radiating on each side of her as the subliminal messages Rosy's been planting in her mind the past few weeks affect her thinking.

As Jill and Allie sleep, she takes their hands and holds them close to her breasts, knowing they've indeed found family in each other. Like Rosy, she's beginning to imagine herself married to these two in a polygamous relationship conceived in heaven.

On this Christmas night, she gives herself the gift of accepting her destiny. She now knows it's their destiny to spend the rest of their lives together. She drifts off to sleep with a smile on her face and happiness in her heart.