If I had no dildo I would be lonely. If I had only one whichever hole I put it in, the other would complain. And there are different dildoes for different occasions, of course. There's my egg and my feeldoe and various other toys. Then there's the whole box of spares. Sometimes I need something discrete. I found out that it's a bad idea to wear a heavy glass butt plug to work with no knickers. Now, where did I put the twe...

“All rise! Court is now in session. Justice Alison Londerwan presiding.” “Be seated,” said the judge. Rumple’s lawyer leaned over and said to Grace, “Oh, God. Judge Londerwan has a reputation for being a real hardass! If she decides against us, you may all wind up in jail!” The judge in question was a slim, fit woman in her mid-forties with shoulder-length blonde hair and a stern countenance. “Mr Timor, is the prosecution...

My husband died in my arms early in 1969. He was thirty-one years old and I was a devastated eighteen-year-old. Edward's parents were every bit as wonderful as he was and did everything they could to help. They even offered, without being the least bit pushy, to take my step-children. This made perfect sense. They loved me, but they had known their grandparents all their lives. They would have a stable home, something I c...

My father remarried, a beautiful woman named Susan. She was about forty and very pretty, tall and slim, with short, curly dark hair and a camel toe. Around the house, she would often wear very short, very tight shorts which would cut deep into her cleft. I never told her, but I realised I was in love with Susan. I do not know to this day if I loved her because she had a camel toe or if I love camel toes because Susan had...

She is being chased through the woods by a man she can't quite recognise. He is getting closer and closer, she can't outrun him. He grabs her and flings her to the ground, but before she can scream she wakes up. She lays there, panting, waiting for her heart to calm down. Finally, she quiets down and is able to sit up, only to realise she is soaking wet. Not just sweat; her cunt is flooding the sheet. Her dream has made h...

Molly owns a beautiful mountain woodland cottage. I built it for her, Off-grid, 1800 square feet in the middle of a hundred acres. It has hot and cold running water, central heating and cooling, modern appliances, and a zero-carbon footprint. When there is enough snow Molly invites several girlfriends to meet at her cabin and travel with her to a private ski slope. There have been some nice falls early this year, so we ar...

The Apartment Building Twelve years ago my uncle left me an obscene amount of money. After giving half of it away I decided to buy an apartment building for different people. I found a dilapidated seven-story building and a contractor willing to do what I wanted with it. All I needed to do was get rid of the existing tenants. I offered them all reasonable money and told them the new neighbours would be queer. That worked...

I am a stalker. I am not allowed to reveal the name of my target, whom I will call X, but I can tell you he is a multi-platinum singer with a reputation for screwing any girl who will spread her legs for him. He usually has four or five girls a night and his roadies get any surplus. I understand they are the poorest paid, happiest road crew in the country. I do not just want to screw X, I am pretty enough, and with enough...

I was born in London but I grew up in Toronto. I was also married and widowed there. After my husband died I returned to London to live with my mother. I had not seen her in ten years, but she was there for me when I needed her. My mother was a lush and a slut but she had a heart of gold. I had a boyfriend I met at work, but we were not a heavy item. Occasionally we would have a drink and head back to my place for a screw...

In 1965, at age fifteen, I was emancipated with my father's blessing. This meant basically that I was able to live where I wanted and could not be arrested for truancy. Also, I could work full time as an adult. There may have been other implications but those were the three I cared about. I was not done learning but I was sure done with school. Just before Christmas, I was staying with a gay gentleman, Hollywood, one of s...

I am a plumber.  I have the crack to prove it. That and an SUV full of tools and parts. The only better job, to my mind, is writing. I do that too. Sometimes I work for one of three landlords who between them own maybe fifty properties. One of them asked me recently to replumb a house he was remodelling. One Saturday I was feeling particularly randy, so knowing that the landlord never comes around on a Saturday I decided...

I am a plumber. I have the crack to prove it. That and an SUV full of tools and parts. The only better job, to my mind, is writing. I do that too.Many years ago I had the opportunity to apprentice as a plumber. Having had two businesses fail I figured a proper trade would at least give me an option for the lean times. After all, kids are always dropping their toys in the toilet and pipes freeze in the winter.I was assigne...

I was a late bloomer. By the time I turned sixteen I had never masturbated, never had sex, never had an orgasm. This is how that changed. This is how I had my first orgasm. I was emancipated at fifteen, and a hippie. I had no home, but I had a lot of friends who were happy to have me as a guest for a week or so now and then. A couple of weeks after my sixteenth birthday I was visiting one such friend, actually a couple bu...

I am a plumber.  I have the crack to prove it. That and an SUV full of tools and parts. The only better job, to my mind, is writing. I do that too. Recently I had occasion to call on a new customer, a favour for a friend. The home was an old but cared-for double wide, better than many around here. When I knocked, toolbox in hand, the door was opened by a beautiful black woman about my age. "Come in," she said, with a very...

"Prague? Are you serious?" "This had better be worth my while." "A man? You want me to fly halfway around the world to meet a man?" "If he tries to touch me I expect you to bail me out." "Okay. Make sure there's a driver waiting for me at the airport." "Ah go fuck yourself." "Yes dear, I know you will." Slam!!! That is one thing you cannot do with a cell phone. Not only do you risk breaking it, but it does not have that s...