If I had no dildo I would be lonely. If I had only one whichever hole I put it in, the other would complain. And there are different dildoes for different occasions, of course. There's my egg and my feeldoe and various other toys. Then there's the whole box of spares. Sometimes I need something discrete. I found out that it's a bad idea to wear a heavy glass butt plug to work with no knickers.

Now, where did I put the twelve-inch green one? Well damn! Whoever shouted, "It's in your cunt, you daft bint," thank you very much.