The following day on Christmas Eve, I don't see Liam in the morning, with him deciding to leave early to avoid me. With our plan to spend the holiday together ruined, I mope around in bed, listening to music on my headphones. Obsessively, the argument replays in my head, and I'm left wondering if it could have turned out differently. As much as I love him, I wish we had never met. I've become enmeshed with him, and I'm so needy for his approval, enabled by him, that it's clear that this relationship isn't healthy. He will always get his way, and I will continually be forced to put my feelings aside just to make this work.

It shouldn't be this hard.

Last night's demand was insane, yet, I know that I'm going to be the one to buckle. If I wasn't, I would have put him in his place last night. I wouldn't be here, waiting for him to come home, wondering how to fix this. I would be packing my clothes to leave.

5 PM arrives, and surprisingly when Liam returns home, it's with several carrier bags from the supermarket. I'm greeted with a nod as he passes me in the hallway, and weirdly his mood seems to have shifted. I can't put my finger on it, but he almost appears to be friendly, as if nothing has happened.

I follow him into the kitchen and watch as he puts a joint of beef in the fridge, then removes a platter of leftover turkey from last night, which he dishes up with a salad.

"Are you hungry, Matt?" he says, now pouring white wine into two stemmed glasses. "Sit down, and I'll bring you something."

After last night, I have no appetite for food or alcohol, and I push my dry turkey around my plate in awkward silence as we sit together. I'd planned to discuss our relationship and whether there is a realistic chance of it going anywhere, but I can't find it in my heart to do it. He seems happy, and just maybe in these hours apart, he's realised that my feelings are as valid as his?

"You're quiet, Matthew, and you're not eating. Is something wrong?" he says, caressing the back of my hand. "Do we need to talk about yesterday?"

"We don't have to," I respond, withdrawing from him.

"Matthew, I shouldn't have said what I did last night, and I'm sorry. It was unreasonable of me to suggest it. Do you think we can try again?"

His thumb brushes over my cheek, and I find myself nodding, unable to refuse his request.

"W-what have you been up to today?" I stammer nervously before noticing that his watch is no longer on his wrist like it usually is.

"I took care of a few things before seeing my mother and going to the supermarket."

"You went shopping? Today, on Christmas Eve, the busiest time of the year? You've always refused to go with me."

"I gave Janet two days off, so I had to. It was a peculiar, tedious experience, and I queued for over an hour, so I won't repeat it again. I don't understand why you'd enjoy something like that," he responds, running his finger around the rim of his glass. "I've invited James and his wife over for dinner tomorrow, by the way. Perhaps you can be a helpful little elf and give me a hand cooking?"

"Wife? Since when was James married? What about his submissives?"

"James has been married for the past five years. It's an open relationship because she's not into BDSM."

"I can't imagine being with someone who wasn't into the same things as me."

"Well, it's a marriage of convenience, although they respect each other and even love each other to an extent. He doesn't love his submissives," he says thoughtfully. "So, do you want to help me move the Christmas tree to the living room, put on ridiculous matching pyjamas and watch a film together?"

It doesn't take long for us to carry the Christmas tree from the event room to put in the bay window of his sparsely decorated sitting room. Immediately, it appears homely, and together, in our cotton flannel pyjamas, we place our hastily wrapped gifts for each other under it. This almost seems normal, and we step back to admire it with his arm wrapped around my waist.

"This was an excellent idea," he beams, pressing his lips against my forehead. "Could you set up the film while I get the cheese? I picked up a Riesling Auslese, which I was assured was decent, but I shall remain sceptical at only twelve pounds."

It's 7 PM by the time we're settled on the settee together, and I flick through the channels, irritated that the only thing to watch is the National Lottery. I check the listings with a sigh and see that the only film coming on is Bridget Jones' Diary, but that isn't starting until nearly ten. This plan of ours is a flop, and I toss the remote away, giving up on the idea.

"I should have bought a DVD," Liam says dismissively, sipping his wine, seemingly unbothered.

"I guess we're waiting for this to finish, then we'll watch Casualty, the news, Little Britain, then the chick flick. What is my life coming to?" I trail off, feeling my precarious mood ebbing low again.

"It sounds good to me. It's a perfect evening, and I have plenty of wine and leftovers. I've never felt this rich."

"Are you feeling okay?" I ask, disturbed by his blind optimism. "What happened to your watch, by the way? Have you been mugged and had an existential epiphany?"

"I pawned it."

I'm stunned because I know how much he loved it, but it makes sense with his ongoing financial situation. I'd do the same if I had anything worth selling. Perhaps the reason for the change in him is because he has breathing room for the first time in months?

"I thought you liked that watch?"

"I did, but it's no big deal. I should have done it sooner," he says, placing his glass down. "Also, before I forget, perhaps it's time that we fully make up?"

Shoving me hard, he pins me beneath him, holding me down by my wrists as his knee moves up and pushes my legs apart. With a mischievous smile, he ducks down, then raises my top up with his nose, tickling me with kisses from my stomach up to my chest. Growling, his teeth pull at my nipples with sharp bites. His other hand slips beneath the waistband of my pyjama bottoms to my soft dick to fondle me, then, with his thumb, he circles over my sensitive foreskin.

"Mmm, I very rarely get to play gently with you like this and feel how you react to my touch... Perhaps we should get you more piercings to give me more to play with. Maybe one right here?" he whispers, stroking my perineum. "Do you think it would hurt?"

"Probably," I sigh, licking my lips at the thought. "But you know I'll enjoy it. I'll get anything for you. My body is yours to do with as you wish."

"Careful, or I will hold you to that. Now, tell me about everyone you've fucked."

"Do you really want to know? And is that names or just numbers?"

"Names, I definitely want their names, but give me the numbers first. I want to know your history. Everyone who has touched your heart in some way before leading you to me."

"This sounds like a trap, but it's around thirty, not including you or your friends," I laugh nervously. "I have poor impulse control."

"Wow, you really are a dirty slut! Not that I have anything against experience. I guess we should forget about the names for now, or we'll be here all night. Where's the naughtiest place you've done it?"

"I seduced the science technician and fucked her on the teacher's desk, three times a week for four months. Does that count?"

"Why are you only telling me about this now?" he groans against my neck in excitement. "How on earth did you manage that?"

"Well, I'd accidentally set fire to my textbook by opening it up too close to my bunsen burner. I had a reputation for being a troublemaker, so I wasn't given a chance to explain myself and ended up in detention at lunch. I was tidying the glass beakers away when she came out of the prep room and pulled off her lab coat to put her jacket on. She had this low cut blouse on, and I said she looked beautiful in it, then sat on the desk. I don't know if she misheard me because she asked me to repeat myself, so I told her she was gorgeous, popped a breath mint, and loosened my tie. Let's just say that blouse didn't stay on for much longer because we were banging against that desk minutes later."

"That's absolutely absurd! I can't imagine how you managed to seduce someone as easily as that," he responds, kissing my collarbone. "How old were you?"

"Seventeen. I was so cocksure of myself that it never crossed my mind that she wouldn't be interested. I was such a jerk back then with the blind confidence that I could have anyone I want, and more often than not, it worked."

"How old was she? I'm picturing someone with piercing blue eyes and curly brown hair. Do you know if she fucked anyone else?" he says, continuing to caress my cock. "Keep talking while I touch you."

I want to correct his image with Mrs Robinson being a redhead with blue eyes, but I know he'll be reminded of Selena. The last thing I want is spoil the scenario he imagines while he teases me.

"I'm not sure, maybe mid-twenties? She'd always wear knee-length, split-back pencil skirts, so I'd be surprised if no one else had tried it on before. I just know I had a hard-on for the last ten minutes of my lesson, anticipating fucking her from behind with her magnificent tits in my hands," I say, recalling the memory of her fondly. "Those skirts got a damn lot shorter after that, and I don't know if there was ever a time she went home without her stockings being torn a little."

"She sounds hot. You lucky devil! Do you think she was dressing up for you?"

"Well, she'd wear these racy, lace bras, and her perky, erect nipples could be seen through her blouse. I guess she was doing it to keep my attention, which it certainly did. Sometimes she'd stroke my forearm or touch my back when she came past to help set up for the teacher. Those were the times when she was really horny, and I'd get the best head of my life..."

"That sounds like I should be jealous. Did you ever get caught? Were there any friends spying on you?" he smirks wickedly. "I wish I'd been there, masturbating as I watched you doing something as naughty as that."

"We were nearly seen one time, and the handle on the door rattled and opened ajar. I think it was the teacher, and they'd forgotten something, but then he just walked away, because someone called him. It was really close, and I couldn't stop laughing, so I was struggling to finish. She didn't see the funny side, but I guess she would have been in a lot more trouble than me."

"Did her husband know? Do you think she told him or secretly recorded what you were up to? I'd love to have seen you in uniform, cucking a teacher's husband. Was the thought of getting him involved going through your mind when you started an affair with her?"

"I was only seventeen, Liam! I wasn't even thinking about him. Actually, after we fucked for the first time, we went around the back of the building for a cigarette together, and she asked me why I'd approached her as if I had some ulterior motive. I told her the truth that I thought she was pretty," I sigh. "I liked her, but I never loved her. It was only fun from my side, and I felt that she'd only see it like that because she was married. I never had any intention of telling her husband, but then she started talking about leaving him, so I cooled it off."

"That's a shame. I've never met anyone who gives their attention as readily as you. It's no wonder you're in trouble all the time. Do you ever think about anything you're doing?"

"Liam, I made the snap decision that I wanted to fuck her the moment she took the lab coat off. One second spent on something that could have potentially ruined her marriage and career. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want you to know that I'm trying my hardest to think about what I'm doing and that my choices now are sincere."

His hand ceases to torment me. Instead, he draws me close for a cuddle and nestles his head on my shoulder.

"Was your choice to pick me sincere? Did any of those others make you feel like I do? Did any of them make you cum as much as you do with me? Am I the only person you love?"

"You're the only person I love, and I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel differently," I whisper, wishing that I wasn't lying. "My feelings for you have always been real, and sex with you has always been satisfying."

"That's reassuring to know. I don't want to lose you, and as I said before, I'd follow you to the end of the earth if it stops you slipping from my fingers," he responds, tightening his embrace. "I want you to remain mine forever."

Forcibly, he begins to kiss me. Already excited, my arousal strains within my pyjamas, and I gasp as his lips move downwards, leaving more kisses on my chin and beneath my jaw. With a sharp intake of breath, the caresses turn to a smattering of lovebites trailed over my neck, descending to my chest.

I want him to go lower.

"Liam... It feels so good... " I gasp as our bodies rub together through the thin material of our clothes. "Make love to me..."

"Not yet, but sit in front of me, and part your legs, Matthew. Keep them open, so I can touch everything. I'm going to play with you until I decide I'm finished..." he breathes hotly into my ear.

Moving, so his legs are either side of mine, he holds me pressed against his muscular body, with his chin resting on my shoulder. Feeling calmed by the steady rhythm of his heart thumping beneath me, last nights quarrel no longer seems significant.

This seems like those days back when I was sixteen and had first discovered the fun that could be had with another. Watching a shitty film together, knowing we won't be watching more than an obligatory five minutes before my hand would roam between her panties to finger her as we made out. Feeling as she bucked against me as she climaxed, listening as she moaned and begged me to take her to my bed. I don't think I ever found out how any of those films ended.

Opening myself up to him, I part my legs over his, and with a soft chuckle, his hand moves beneath my t-shirt. Stroking over my abdomen, he travels upwards from my navel to my chest, then pinches at my nipples. With his other hand brushing over the head of my cock, he smothers his fingers in my natural lubricant, then enters me with two of them.

"Perhaps we should get you that tattoo," he murmurs, kissing the nape of my neck. "Right here by your hairline, so only those who are intimate with you will discover it. You did say I can do anything I want with you?"

"Do you really want to tag me as your property? I'll do it if you have no desire to discard me," I sigh as he bites down. "Please fuck me..."

"Later," he chuckles, stimulating me with an extra finger, followed by another up to his knuckle. "I want to get you warmed up first."

Curling his fingers, he massages against my wall, rubbing over my prostate, working me open, filling me with a tingle radiating down towards my toes.

"God... I'm going to cum! Ah!"

"Not yet..." he smirks. "Damn, you still feel tight despite us wrecking your arse last night. I can't wait until I can try double fisting you."

Releasing my nipple pinched between his thumb and forefinger, his other hand slides beneath my pyjamas. Then seizing me firmly, he pumps rapidly. Closing my eyes, I fling against his supportive chest and gasp out, vocalising the pleasure building up inside me.

"Liam... I don't think I can wait..." I moan as I writhe in pleasure in his arms.

"I wonder how badly you'll gape, and if you'll ever be the same after?" he breathes into my ear, "Maybe we should start training you for it? How much does the idea of it turn you on?"

"I love the idea... Tie me down and do everything you want to me. I'll never stop you..."

My body flushes with heat, and I cry out as I ejaculate in a gush over my abdomen. Nuzzling against my hair, Liam's arms wrap around me, enveloping me in his warmth and affection. I don't know why, but tonight there seems to be a change within him.

"I love you, Matthew. Will you remain mine?" he murmurs, stroking my cheek. "I don't want to ever lose you to another, so please don't approach Selena while I deal with my jealousy, okay?"

"I love you too. I don't want to lose you, either," I respond, turning towards him and swallowing as guilt rises uncomfortably in my throat. "Liam, I'm sorry for last night. I'll listen to you next tim-"

With the distinct BBC news theme interrupting me, Liam's mouth aggressively collides with mine. His tongue pries me open, warning of the primal desire to make me his simmering beneath the surface. My heart begins to...