“Didn’t I tell you I’d find us a battle?”

“Contrariwise, it was me, wasn’t it, who said it.”

“Ain’t true!”

“Most certainly is!”

Alice was still laying beneath the bishop, hoping he wasn’t too badly injured (for despite his betrayal, she didn’t wish any real harm upon him) while listening to two impressively large men armed with what appeared to be very large baby rattles argue.

“Logic says otherwise.”

“Ouch!” one cried as the other hit him over the head with his rattle.

“Ain’t about logic, it’s-“

“Dee! Dum! Shush. You’re scaring Alice,” Yum and Yee exclaimed in unison, for Alice was indeed quite frightened by the turn of events, especially since her saviors seemed just as menacing as her captors. After all, hadn’t she been rescued by pirates, only to be ravished (not that she had minded so very much) by the chessman and then throw into a jail cell? Not to mention, the bishop’s treachery was still very much on her mind.

“It’s his fault!” they both proclaimed, managing to look both embarrassed and angry at the same time as they pointed their rattles at each other.

Thankfully, they seemed to be cowed by the sister’s present, one of whom continued to glare at them whilst the other gently helped Alice out from under her unconscious assailant.

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Yee, or perhaps Yum, assured her. “They may look fearsome, but they have good hearts. Alice, may I present Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.”

Alice nodded as she examined her rescuers. Like Yee and Yum they were identical only, unlike Yee and Yum they were less pleasing to look upon. Their faces were ruddy and they had pug like noses and they were quite large in girth as well as height. Their eyes, however, were bright and almost twinkled as they bowed in unison.

“At your service, Miss Alice.” While their voices were quite rough, they seemed friendly enough, now that they weren’t arguing with each other.

“Likewise,” Alice said, meaning to curtsy which was a reminder that she stood before them stark naked.

‘How strange that I only just now noticed it. Only a day ago I would have been mortified at the thought while now, although rather embarrassed, I don’t feel the need to swoon. Still, I would very much prefer some manner of dress.’

“I don’t suppose you would mind… showing me your backs so that I can get decent?”

“You look proper decent to me,” Dee, or perhaps Dum, remarked with a smile that showed off his crooked teeth.

“That’s not what she meant, halfwit. She meant she doesn’t want us staring at her while she’s starkers.”

“I don’t mind at- ouch!”

Alice watched as they exchanged blows with their rattles once more, only stopping when Yee and Yum stamped their feet in unison.

“Behave!”

Looking rather embarrassed and slightly crestfallen, the pair stopped what they were doing and, with once last glance at Alice, during which their ruddy faces turned slightly ruddier, they turned their broad backs to her.

“As I said,” the sisters said with a sigh, “They have good hearts. It’s their brains that are lacking.”

“Ah,” she replied, eyeing the robes the plaid patterned robes twins were wearing. “I don’t imagine I can borrow a dressing gown?”

“Of course!” they both exclaimed, hurrying her over to the wardrobe and fussing over her until she was covered in a pink and white stripped robe. Not only that, but they’d discovered matching undergarments for her to wear as well.

“There. You look quite pretty,” beamed one of the sisters.

“Pretty enough to kiss,” beamed the other, turning word into action and placing a lingering kiss upon her lips.

“Good enough to-“

“Not in front of you know who, Yee!”

“I wasn’t actually going to!” huffed Yum.

Alice thought that she might not have minded so much, but perhaps it would be wiser to leave that thought unspoken, so instead she gazed around the room at the aftermath of the short, but violent, battle that had left the bishop, both rooks, and all of the Queen’s guard laying unconscious.

“I don’t suppose it would be wise to be here when they wake up,” she murmured.

“I suppose not,” chimed all four of her companions.

“We should flee,” suggested one of the sisters.

“Where too?” wondered the other.

“We know a place!” both brothers (for Alice had assumed that they were, indeed, brothers, and most likely twins as well) remarked, looking smug.

“It’s safe.”

“It’s sane.”

“It’s hardly sane.”

“Not likely safe, either.”

“Most definitely not safe.”

“And completely mad.”

And then, as one, they turned to Alice and bowed at the waist, before proclaiming, “Don’t worry yourself, Miss. We’d be delighted to take you there.”

“Where is there?” Alice asked, unsure of the wisdom of accompanying the brothers to a place that was not only quite unsafe but most assuredly mad.

“Can’t tell you.”

“Won’t tell you.”

“No. Can’t. We could, but we won’t.”

“Contrariwise!”

“Exactly!”

“Oh, Dear,” Alice sighed as she found herself being pushed down the stairs by the two large men while Yee and Yum followed in their wake, the entire quintet slipping out unnoticed (as unnoticed as two very large men and three rather pretty girls dressed only in robes could be) into a back ally. From there they made their way quickly to the edge of town, moving so quickly that Alice was quite out of breath.

“I don’t suppose we could pause for a moment?” she asked, feeling somewhat faint and realizing that it has been a very long time since she’d had a proper meal or either an improper one (although she’d had several that she’d considered indecent and even unnatural).

“No time, no time,” the brothers declared, although the did take pity upon her so that she ended up cradled in the strong arms of Dum, or perhaps Dee as they left Phefferton-on-the-nusse behind.

‘I suppose this means that I am a fugitive now. Funny, I don’t feel any different. I am still Alice. This Alice, to be precise. Certainly not That Alice. Not after last night!’

Smiling, she gazed at the twins, recalling the feel of their hands and mouths as well as the taste of their pussies, which she had quite enjoyed and looked forward to perhaps tasting again.

‘I don’t suppose I shall ever be That Alice again. Nor would I want to.’

“Where are we headed?” Alice ventured as they crested a hill so that the town was lost from sight.

“That way,” One of the brother’s pointed.

“I mean, were specifically.”

“Can’t get more specific than that, Miss,” the other brother pointed out.

“Could,” retorted the first brother, which earned him a fierce glower as the other brandished his rattle menacingly.

“Behave!” The sister’s demanded loudly, and they did with a sullen look, one that vanished quickly into excited smiles and twinkling eyes a moment later.

“I don’t suppose you know any good walking songs Miss?” Dum asked.

Before Alice could reply, Dee announced that he knew several, one of which he began singing (or perhaps bellowing was a better way to describe it), Dum joining in with his own bellow.

“I once took a wander

Walking over yonder

Before I’d gone hither and yon

I found my two feet

Upon a strange street

Walking from twilight to dawn

Oh walking we go to get where we ain’t

But never to get where we is

Sitting is fine for a man with no cares

But walking is better  

Much better it be

Then sitting around on our chairs”

And so it went, the two serenading Alice, Yee, and Yum with walking songs until they could barely hear themselves think, any pleas of quieting down met by even more robust volume until, thankfully, they suddenly went silent.

‘Thank goodness,’ Alice thought with a sigh. ‘Finally, some peace and quiet.’

Only, it was not to be. Not for long, at least, for their was a very good reason, apparently, for the Tweedle’s cessation of song.

“I don’t suppose you heard that.”

“I didn’t hear nothing.”

“Exactly”

“We should run.”

“We should.”

And so they did, with Alice still cradled in Dum’s arms, bouncing with every step whilst the twins followed in their wake as swiftly as they could in slippers and robes.

“Who are we running from?” Alice asked fearfully, her voice soft.

“Nobody,” was Dum’s response.

“Oh.”

“Exactly, Miss.”

They kept running until they came upon a wood bordered by a small stream that burbled happily, apparently unaware of anything menacing from which to run (although Alice realized, much later, that streams, by nature, tended to neither run nor walk).

“Where are we?” Alice asked as Dum set her down on her feet, her voice soft in case nobody was close by, listening.

“Tulgey Wood,” One of the sisters answered, reaching out to take her hand.

Alice peered across the stream at the wood, thinking that it looked nothing at all like the gentle woods she was familiar with. In fact, it was quite the opposite, looking rather dark and foreboding.

“It looks rather threatening.”

“Ominous,” agreed the twins in unison.

“Are we going through it?”

“No,” answered Dum, shaking his head slowly, his smile grim.

“Thank goodness for that,” Alice replied, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Not through. In.”

“In and not out.”

“I don’t like the sound of it.”

“Can’t be helped. Nobody won’t be able to find us in there.

“Nobody will be able to find us,” Alice corrected him.

“Contrariwise. Nobody won’t be able to find us.”

“Last thing we want is for nobody to find us.”

Dee just nodded, his eyes twinkling, despite his grim smile. “Would best, Miss. Now come on, no use dragging your feet.”

“You’ll get them wet.”

“And dirty.”

“Nothing worse than dirty feet.”

“Dirty wet feet is worse.”

“Not worse than wet dirty feet.”

“Much worse- ouch!”

This time it was Alice who shouted at them as they beat each other about the head with their rattles.

“Stop that!”

“Yes, Miss,” they both said contritely, eyes lowered as they sulked side by side, doing their best not to look at her as she shook her finger in their faces.

“You had best start behaving yourselves.”

“Sorry, Miss,” they both mumbled, looking even more contrite if that was possible.

“Now come on. Let’s get on with this.”

And so it was that Alice and Yee and Yum and Dum and Dee entered the Tugley woods in single file while nobody watched with narrowed eyes from a distant hill, chuckling softly.

They walked slowly thought the woods until it grew too dark to see the path before them and the Tweedles announced that it would be a good place to settle for the night. Alice thought that it would have been charming had there not been a sense of unease in the air. Gnarled oaks bloated out the sky over head, their branches intertwined above their heads, vines clinging to their bark. Unkempt hedges covered the floor, as did a variety of dark petaled flowers and moss-covered stones. It was amongst a circle of just such stones that they had come to a halt.

“I don’t suppose anyone thought to bring something to dine on,” Alice asked hopefully, her stomach growling discontentedly.

“Not a crumb,” Dee, or perhaps Dum, replied.

“Though I suppose we could do some foraging.” Dum, or perhaps Dee, added helpfully.

“Lots of truffles.”

“And berries!”

“To be found.”

“If only they had already been found,” Alice muttered so that the others wouldn’t overhear, for she was feeling quite cross, not to mention cold, for a chill breeze was making its way through the trees, rustling the leaves.

“You stay here where it’s safe, Miss,” The Tweedles told her. “While we gather a scrumptious feast.”

“A frabjous banquet,” agreed the twins sisters.

“Enough to feed an army.”

“And their horses.”

“Whatever you do, stay right where you are and you’ll be safe, Miss.”

“Don’t move an inch. We’ll be back before you know it.”

“Or before that.”

“In one shake of the leg.”

“Possibly two.”

“No more than three!”

“Oh, go already,” Alice commanded, doing her best to hide an affectionate smile. As exasperating as the Tweedles could be, she was beginning to grow quite fond of them. It was hard to stay mad for very long, for they did, indeed, mean well.

And so, they left her to settle down upon a pleasantly smooth rock to wait for their return.

‘I do hope they are not overly long,’ she thought, a shiver teasing through her as the chill breeze discovered her hiding place. ‘And I hope that Nobody happens upon me while they are gone.’

Unfortunately for Alice, Nobody had already happened upon her, content to watch her from the shadows until it was sure that her companions were out of hearing. Then, and only then, Nobody slipped from the shadows of the trees. One moment she had been staring up at the twilight sky through the tree branches whilst daydreaming about laying in a feather bed between Yum and Yee while they touched her in very intimate places and the next there was a shadowy figure standing directly before her, regarding her with the sliver of a smile and eyes that looked like twin moons.

“Oh!” she cried out in surprise as she leapt to her feet.  “Who are you? Where did you come from?”

The creature, for that’s what she imagined it was, chuckled coldly as it sprang, picking her up and throwing it over its shoulder before bounding off gracefully through the darkening wood.

“Help!” she cried out as loudly as she could. “I am being abducted by a fiend! Help!”

She continued to call out, her pleas unheard, until finally, the dark creature slowed, its way blocked by a vine covered bluff beside a burbling stream, presumably the one they had crossed earlier, although this one seemed less jolly. It paused momentarily, pushing aside a tangle of vines, revealing a dark recess that looked suspiciously like an entrance.

Panicking, Alice fought with a strength born of fear, but it was for naught. The creature simply tightened its grip upon her and stepped forward, enveloping them both in complete darkness.

Alice called out one last time before all hope of being rescued was gone forever, her voice swallowed by the dark oaks of the wood. And then, she did the only sensible thing left to her. She swooned.

Eventually, she awoke, a feeling of disappointment seated deep within, for not a single dream had come to her while she was asleep. Nor had any rescuers. In fact, nothing had changed in the slightest, unless one counted her eyesight adjusting to the darkness a change.

“Good morning.”

“You speak,” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes and yawning. “And what is so good about it?”

“Of course I do. Did you imagine me a beast?” Having imagined exactly that, Alice decided not to answer, allowing it, or rather, him, to continue. “I have the attention of a beautiful young lady. For me, it is the best of mornings.”

“Who are you?”

“Nobody.”

Alice forgot to be fearful and crossed her arms over her bare breasts as she glared at him.

“You are obviously somebody,” she muttered.

“It’s a conundrum, isn’t it? You’re correct, I am obviously somebody, and yet, I am Nobody.”

“If you don’t wish to tell me your name, then I will not share mine as well.”

“You’re Alice. And I am Nobody. My Father was Everybody, my mother, Somebody and I am Nobody.”

Alice sighed, wondering if she would someday run out of sighs, for she it seemed she’d been doing it far too often since arriving here.

“How do you know my name?”

“I know everybody’s name so it stands to reason I would know yours.”

“More nonsense,” Alice muttered, uncrossing her arms as she realized something had changed, only she hadn’t noticed it at first. Her robe was missing, leaving her once again naked, only she wasn’t completely naked, for she was wearing a most unusual pair of knickers. They seemed to be made of metal, rather like a knight’s armor.

“This is Wonderland. Nonsense abound here.”

“Where did these come from? And why am I wearing them?” she asked, having decided to change the subject to one less maddening.

“I was wondering when you would notice. Its a device to keep beautiful young ladies pure of body, if not of heart. It’s called a chastity girdle.”

“I don’t understand,” Alice said, exploring the contraption with her fingers and hands.

“It’s quite simple. I have locked it into place upon you and, as long as I hold this,” Nobody held up a slender key fashioned from silver, “No one can access your feminine charms.”

“You mean my… my cunny?” she asked, blushing, unable to bring herself to say ‘my cunt’ in front of the shadow man that had kidnapped her.

“Yes,” he chuckled, tucking the key somewhere within the shadows that he was made up of.  “Your cunny is off limits to everyone. Even you. Especially you. Well, almost everyone,” he finished with a devious grin.

“I don’t understand.”

“Very soon you will.”

“Oh,” was all she could think of to say in response.

“I don’t suppose you’ve ever seen a bumblebeetle, Alice.”

“No, I can’t say that I have.”

“Curious little creature. They’re only found in the Tugley Woods. They’re quite slow moving. Hardly move at all. Unless it rains, that is. Or they get wet. Seems a little moisture excites them terribly. They get quite active, Alice and once they get going… well, you’ll see soon enough.”

“What do you mean?” Alice asked, but Nobody reclined seemed to just fade from view in the dark, reminding her a little of Cheshire.

‘I wonder where he is,’ she thought to herself. ‘I wouldn’t mind his advice right now. Even a riddle would be welco- oh!’

Alice felt a strange and not wholly unpleasant sensation within.

“How curio-oh!”

“Sounds like it’s waking up,” came a voice from the darkness followed by a cruel chuckle.

“What do yo-oh! Oh!”

What had at first felt like a mild tremor turned into an insistent vibration centered withing her cunny.

“The curious thing is, the more moisture, the more active it becomes.”

“I- dash and bother and bloody hell!” she said with a moan as the buzzing within her became more insistent as her arousal grew proportionately.

“Get it out of me,” she moaned, clawing at the device trapping the bumble beetle within her.

“And why would I do that? I’m quite looking forward to watching it warm you up for me. Eventually, you’ll become desperate enough to beg me.”

“Beg you?”

“Yes, Alice, beg me. To free you from your terrible torment. Eventually, your need will overrule all else and I hold the only key to your salvation.

“You think you can- oh. Oh, no, oh dear,” she moaned long and loud as the creature inside her began to buzz and vibrate with an intensity that was impossible to ignore. Unable to speak, or even think, she fell to her hands and knees and began to writhe and moan with overwhelming pleasure, her climax building deep within and yet stopping just short of sending her over the edge until she thought she might go mad.

“Such a lovely sight,” Nobody purred mockingly as he watched her. “I wonder how long you can withstand such pleasurable torment?”

Alice had no answer, for she was wondering the same thing. Perhaps it would be best to give in now and beg for release.

‘I’ll not give him the satisfaction,’ she told herself as another wave of pleasure crested, threatening to crash through her and then ebbed once more, leaving her gasping, hands upon her breasts as she tugged and pulled desperately at her nipples.

“No!” she screamed, hips bucking as she trembled from head to toe, trapped in the throes of unending ecstasy.