Pleather pantsSeldom ride on the assesOf girls who wear glassesButI’m the proud exception to many a rule.Life’s full of surprisesLike a bad burritoThe Oort CloudOr an offshore bank accountAnd I’m just one of them.You seem to me to be searchingSearching to reverse the decline of our cultureSearching for a French movie where shit blows upSearching the Ovaltine can forAll of life’s answers.Well, you can find all that and mor...

Even fools can find patterns, if heavenShows mercy, and Providence, for my sinsWas kind enough to drop you in my way,You angel cake crumb! Your halo danglingA bit tarnished, in one hand, and not soInconspicuously swinging out ofSight, behind your back, as if you believedIt were made to tap absentmindedlyAgainst your bottom, in fact?Yeah, I wonder about that.But you just grin and bite your bottom-lipSo invitingly, while yo...

I sit here in a rutSnug and dry as a boneOr a blueberry sconeJust as edible too, butIt’s storming, and I’m quite all alone.There’s something in the beatOf gray afternoon rain,That pulsation on the pane:It hammers out wet heatDeep in the gloom of my belly and brain.It rattles my sore nerves,This tempest between my thighs:I squall out choking criesTo trace your fluid curves,Descry the liquid lightning in your eyes.But: here...

You’re just too cute when you’re rollingChatty Cathy candy raver youIn your conditionMy dumbest definitions taste like divinationWhen your lips bat them back at meIt must be the EcstasyAnd blue batted eyes try my Chastity(the prison guard that slumps inside of me).Why should I prize my walled-off thighsWhen I know you would roll me deep insideWith thumb and tongue, knowing and lithe, andScatter all the centurions of my se...

Two or three minutes more, and I’m going toSlip my hand onto his thighUnder the table, David, here at thisDinner party in Georgetown, yesRight here in motherfucking Georgetown, David.It’s become so hard to hold my tongue latelyBut now, see, this makes it so easy!I’m demure as Aesop’s cat become a damselAnd I sit and I eat and I sip my wineSo agreeable, not at all the shrewYou’ve complained about lately, no, notAt all a sh...

I’m buying eyeshadow in bulk againSix phat shades, in cream crayon-fat pencils.Maybe it’s time I get real.At these prices, I’ll tell you, it’s a stealBut who am I kidding? Like I needPurple raccoon eyes to pick up skim milkAt the grocery store? And I might need the milkMore than I do the makeup soon anyway.Maybe it’s a spring thing, this maniaFor color and primping and bad decisions,High humidity and plump mascara.It’s th...

What am I anticipating?A knocking at my door.Chance for some prevaricating:I'm naked on the floor.Random bits of scintillatingChit-chat from above:Floating hyperventilatingMoans of making love.The stranger coming to my gateWill knock and pass on by;I will not move nor soon nor lateTill I'm on wing to fly.My finger knows its ready danceI dance and bop for oneI suffer now no lustful glanceExcept from yonder sun.I paint my e...

I guess I should've told youYou'd be a fool to believeMy promiscuous phase wasJust-- a phase.It's just my nature, I suppose.And if I led you to believeI was loyal, and kind, and trueWell, you should know:I have sojourned 'mid strange fruitTwisted mandrake by the rootBroken hearts without reprieveTrained my glances to deceiveMarshalled falsehoods in neat ranksSlipped my kisses cross the flanksOf comely strangers, strangers...

“And ah, yeah, open this one.” “Goodness, you shouldn’t have,” April gushed. “You’ve already made my day, sweetie.” “One more goodie won’t hurt, will it?” Larry smiled benignly as he handed her the final wrapped package. “Well,“ she said, smiling brightly. “I suppose I won’t let it.” He laughed. “Let’s hope not.” The Phaidon coffee-table tome truly did make her birthday. Never mind the DVDs (“His Girl Friday” and “Gigi”),...

Not for nothing are “Ghost World” and “The Doom Generation” my favorite films. I was made for a stark black bob long before I ever got one, before I saw those movies and even before I discovered black hair dye. Without it I might have ended up looking something like Lotte Lenya in “From Russia With Love.” Goddess bless Manic Panic!! It’s more than the hair, it’s the attitude. “Girl, you are the snarkiest bitch I know,” sa...

I followed them into the empty bedroom, stood with Oliver behind me blocking the door while the other man went for a bedside lamp. He flicked it on, illuminating the room a little more warmly than I might have feared. The activities in this house were such that you might expect only the dingiest kind of light, the barest of rooms.But then, it’s not your middle-class types who throw Wednesday night sex parties with well ov...

Some asshole had tried to explain to me, back in April, that the single-room in Waterford was “the size of a postage stamp.” What a lying little bitch.“Oh my god,” Stacy had squealed, “I hear there isn’t even, like, a real bed in there, it’s just, like, a mattress thrown on the floor.”“REALLY?!” I had exclaimed, genuinely excited. I had always enjoyed visions of debauched Thoreaueanism. Keeping things simple and skanky. T...