Pleather pants
Seldom ride on the asses
Of girls who wear glasses
But
I’m the proud exception to many a rule.

Life’s full of surprises
Like a bad burrito
The Oort Cloud
Or an offshore bank account
And I’m just one of them.

You seem to me to be searching
Searching to reverse the decline of our culture
Searching for a French movie where shit blows up
Searching the Ovaltine can for
All of life’s answers.

Well, you can find all that and more.
But look, them’s hazelnuts in this
Chocolate ice cream
See, sometimes life just throws these little
Pleasures at you, and such a pleasure am

I.

You weren’t expecting a girl who wears glasses
And hip-hugging pleather, now were you?
And you haven’t even come over here to ask me
Whether I agree with Hobbes or Locke or
Whether I’d like to see the new Godard?

C’mon . . . .

I’m a dirty snowball hurtling towards your mouth
Even if it takes seventy years
To make an impact
And all you gotta do is
Turn this way, look in my
Eyes, open and give me a taste.

Just get in my way.

No? Whatevs. I’m the
Dead battery sitting
In your smoke detector
So go on then
Don’t come over here and give me
A poke, just to find out
How lively I am.

I’ll just sit and wait, patient and
Unheeded. Go on with your business:
You’ll wake up sooner or later.