The roses he left at my doorI told him were a no.That time he ambushed with a ringStill makes me go “woah.” The chocolate that I used to tameHis tongue a touch more civilThe teddy he once knit for meAnd the gifts he tried to whittle The book I mailed to him one yearWhich contained within a promise:That one day I would it retrieveIn exchange for a hug and kiss One special day in every yearI push away the crazyI hug my love...

So you probably missed, buried among the musings on my crush EK, this line: Day after birthday/---CWhy do I want him I spent the evening socializing with other choir people. I thought of a new way to do what? I lost my train of thought. It seems innocuous enough nestled among the hormone-driven sexual cravings of a teenage mind. An evening with choir people could mean one of two things.  Either I was on a bus trip to watc...

04/20/---C I dreamt I made out with EK.  It felt so good.  There wasn't any action around where the legs split off; though my leg did start to wrap around his.  I no [know] he isn't thin.  And he has turned into a real rebel now.  If my friends knew I like him they would think I'm desperate like Vicky.  I haven't liked EK for that long.  Physical touch... This was just a dream, but God... I don't care who it fucking is. ...

I dreamed I had a threewayWith you, me, and her.>>> All you wanted was her>>> All she wanted was me>>> All I wanted was you I dreamed I had a threesomeWith her, my lover, and him.>>> She would not lower down>>> He was stiff as a mule>>> I was torn assunder by both.  

Two women stood in the kitchen looking into the living room. On the coffee table stood their latest purchase from their favorite sex shop, a board game still shiny with plastic wrap. The blond turned her head away from the game and bent gently to retrieve something from the refrigerator. Her perfect silhouette was contained within a deep purple dress that included a corset-like front and white trimmings. The skirt portion...

Half the school assumed that Sean and I would tumble into a relationship if given the right push. And push us they did, but nothing ever came of it. – Sean was my best friend. One of a long line of Male Best Friends that I did not get romantically involved with. I have had female friends, but I had a hard time getting past the cordial colleague state with any of my own sex. I have tried to psychoanalyze this tendency many...

The first woman I ever found attractive was Catherine Zeta Jones and that crush has stood the test of time. Although I never copied it down in my journal, I remember watching The Haunting released 1999 in our exercise room. I sat on an exercise machine that felt like a piano bench cushion in the unfinished room. I watched the actress’s entrance up until this line: “So what about you? Husband, Boyfriend, Girlfriend?” Her l...

Jack wakes up to see a pair of soft blue eyes watching him. She smiles upon seeing him wake and roll over to face the ceiling. The interior of the house annoyed Jack in many ways, but the slanted cedar slabs cut by two long skylights was not one of them. "Morning," says Marian beside him. "Overcast," Jack replies. "It was raining earlier," Marian says. "I enjoyed watching the water droplets fall down. They made little riv...

Your eyes drive me crazyWith their green "come hither" stare.They make me think you want meAnd wish I was over there. If you want me, babe, just say so.I like guys who make me laugh.If you don't want me, just say noNo confusion, no more sap.      

3/26/---- lying naked on the floor in my room listening to “I’ll Be Your Inspiration.” dancing in front of the window that work to me as a mirror.  Screw clothesWithout any real relationships, I was constrained to my own sensuality and imagination.  At a certain point in my life, I began staying up or getting up again late at night to dance naked in my room to a stereo turned quiet enough so that I was the only one in the...

The day begins normal enough for Gregor Malkin. He had slept in late after a long night. Working 12 hours in his uniform and heading straight to the bar afterward had taken a lot out of him. It always did. When he ventures outside, the day was beautiful, warmer than he expected for a spring day. He lights a cigarette, poisoning the beautiful spring air with his smoke. Delicious death, one puff at a time. Sounds of gigglin...

Baby: hold me close closeclose Till I tread upon yourtoes Baby: hold me tight tighttight Till, within your arms, Ifight How your hands are cold coldcold Wishing they had me tomold How my legs do kick andsquirm Wanting something thick andfirm Now know I am far farfar From those old days in thecar Though I'd love to love youhard Player, you played the wrongcard Never again will I clean cleanclean If you treat me like aqueen...

I know when I had my first wet dream. That was when my journal transformed from occasional scribbles to compact cursive handwriting. The spine of the simple book broke from overuse. It is hard looking through the contents to find contents that are not erotic after that point. It began with the dreams. Strange dreams. 11/14/---aI had a dream about sex this morning. A prisoner, I was supposed to be afraid of the “general” w...

It's this idea ofLove HateThat is ruiningmy fateMy reaction toyour faceMakes a complexpsychological caseIt's that hard look inyour eyesLike I'm all that youdespiseIt's their shade of softwood brownThat's what makesme frownIt's your skin oliveor whiteMakes my mind beginto fightBut the warmth fromyour skinThat's what makesme grinIt's this idea ofLove HateThat is ruiningmy fate  

The sun above me, the poppies below, and her in-between sublimates what I know. I came here to write; she came here to read. Instead we found something that both of us need. Her lips on my body. Her lust for my cock fulfills dreams before daytime stops. Her skin, tan above me, makes me hard as a rock.  Her soft breasts that hang from her tender body. They tremble. I watch them. When I touched them, she sang. My wife must...