‘Are you enjoying yourself?’ I asked Ryan.

‘Yes.’

‘That’s about the tenth time,’ said Fiona. ‘Leave him alone.’

All of us were masturbating with Steven and Thomas in their new place, and this was the first time Ryan had joined us. It had taken a long time for the boys to arrange their housewarming, so it was great to see them again. We were also supposed to have Tiff, Samantha and Jack. They were driving, but they’d called to say there was a serious accident blocking the motorway, so we had permission to start without them.

Unfortunately, my vibrator had run out of battery, so I resorted to pleasuring myself by hand.

‘Are you sure, Ryan?’ I asked. ‘Remember you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.’

‘It’s quite clear he’s enjoying himself,’ said Fiona.

The rest of the group were all in favour of him joining. I’d reluctantly agreed on the condition we gave him a trial session. Only Steven had his reservations, but since meeting Ryan, he’d changed his opinion and had even started flirting with him.

‘Of course,’ he told my brother, ‘if you want to do something, or if you need a hand…’

‘I’m not gay.’

‘You can experiment, though, if you want. You only need to ask.’

‘How are we going to pair up later?’ said Thomas. ‘There’s only five of us. I mean, obviously, Ryan, you’ll be going with Fiona.’

At that point, only Fiona knew about the sexual activity between Ryan and me. The three of us had talked at length about when to tell the rest of the group, if at all. Until then, we agreed to have no brother-sister contact in front of anyone except her – assuming I didn’t slip up again and touch him without thinking.

‘Well, that’s not necessarily a problem,’ she said, ‘Ryan can come with me, and one of the boys can join me in a threesome, and you can go with the other one.’

‘Why do you get the threesome?’ I asked. ‘Maybe I want one too.’

‘Well, we can swap about.’

‘Or maybe we could start with the funnel.’ I hadn’t orgasmed yet, and my first one was always the wettest.

‘Great idea. It would be easier on the bed, though.’ Fiona and I stood up to head to the bedroom, and the boys followed us, all cupping their erections to stop them wobbling about.

‘What funnel?’ asked Thomas.

‘Have we not told you about this? I’m sure we have.’

‘I don’t remember either,’ said Steven.

‘I know,’ said Ryan. ‘It’s pretty hot to watch.’

I silently willed him not to say any more. The other boys were giving him questioning looks.

I couldn’t tell whether Fiona deliberately provided a distraction, but she started talking before they could speak. Lying in the middle of the bed on her front, with her vibrator under her clit, she said, ‘You know how I couldn’t find contraception without side effects, so I couldn’t have your sperm in me?’

‘You’ve found one now, though,’ I added.

‘Yes, but it means taking a pill every single day. Anyway, you can get pregnant with guy fluids, but not girl fluids so,’ she placed the end of the funnel inside her, ‘we’ve been doing this.’

‘You’re lesbians now?’ asked Steven.

‘No, absolutely not. This is purely self-pleasure. We don’t touch each other any more than we have to, except for the last bit.’

Fiona turned up her vibrator speed, and I kneeled down behind her moving as close to the wide end of the funnel as possible. With two fingers inside me, I started masturbating again.

The boys were stunned into silence watching us, but not so much that they couldn’t stroke their erections again. Ryan was also a little distracted by the posters of half-naked men – and a couple of topless women – around their room. Steven was still watching him closely.

‘You like what you see, Ryan?’

‘I’m… just looking.’

‘See all the buff ones, the muscly ones? They’re mine. Thomas prefers the scrubbed-up boy-next-door types, and the ladies are his as well.’

‘I like muscles too, just not massive ones, and a little trail of hair on his stomach.’

‘But you still like girls too?’ asked Ryan to Steven.

‘Oh yes,’ said Steven, ‘but even that way, we’re different. We spoke about this, didn’t we? We reckon I’m about seventy per cent gay, and Thomas is seventy per cent straight.’

I always knew I had two bisexual boyfriends, of course, but hearing them talk so openly about their same-sex preferences set something off inside my head. I was suddenly so horny, I could feel my liquid building up inside my vagina. I moved as close as possible to the funnel, leaving just enough room for my fingers to carry on flicking. I could tell from her breathing that Fiona was about to climax. The boys must have heard us too, as their conversation ended abruptly.

At orgasm, I removed my fingers and thrust myself hard against the funnel. There was a muffled splash as my ejaculation poured out. I had the presence of mind to tip the funnel up slightly to catch most of the liquid and direct it into my flatmate, then licked my own fingers clean. Her entrance was twitching a little from her own orgasm.

No matter how many times I did it, I still had the same feeling as the first time, like I was a high school jock finally scoring with his favourite cheerleader. It was a slightly weird feeling because neither of us fitted these roles. Still, we always both enjoyed ourselves.

‘I think was the first time we’ve come together,’ she said. ‘That was amazing.’

At the same time, as she spoke, I heard a voice from the side of the room, ‘Oh no. Oh no-no-no-no-no.’ The voice belonged to Steven, and so did the semen all over his hand. ‘I tried to stop it in time, but… Urgh.’

‘Give it here,’ I said. He scooped it all into one hand and offered it to me. I leaned over and licked it off.

‘Towel.’ He left.

Meanwhile, Fiona switched off her vibrator and removed the funnel. ‘I suppose that solves the pairing problem, then. Kind of. Ryan, are you ready to go?’

‘Am I ever.’ Still gripping his erection, he climbed onto the bed. Fiona moved over to one half, still on her front, giving me room to lie on my back beside her. He wasted no time in entering her, and she sounded like she needed it.

I beckoned Thomas over, but he hesitated. ‘What about Steven?’

‘It’s fine,’ he said, entering the room with a towel, this time without an erection. ‘You go on.’

Thomas climbed onto the bed. ‘You really don’t mind. You know, with him, your brother here.’

‘We’ve had this conversation,’ I gestured to Ryan and Fiona, ‘a hundred times.’

‘We all have needs,’ said Fiona in a mocking voice.

‘Is that meant to sound like me?’

‘That’s what you always say.’

I gave a theatrical sigh. ‘If I must say it again. No, I really don’t mind that my little brother is right beside me, pounding his penis into my flatmate’s vagina as we speak. I’m having sex with you, not him, and I would quite it now, thank you.’

‘We’ve had this conversation,’ she mocked again, ‘a hundred times.’ She gasped as Ryan shifted his position and her tone changed. ‘Oh, that’s good, yes.’

Thomas took the hint and did as he asked. It had been so long, and it was great to feel filled with something that wasn’t a vibrator.

Steven squeezed onto the bed between us, turning to Thomas and me first. One of the parts I absolutely loved about threesomes was the sensation of having both nipples sucked at the same time. Knowing this, Thomas wasn’t slow to help him before my two boyfriends shared a long, lingering kiss in front of my face. I was so turned on, I had to slip my fingers down onto my clit, ready to build up to another ejaculation.

Steven then turned to Fiona. She twisted slightly so they could kiss. He used the opportunity to run one hand over her breast and let the other wander up to Ryan’s body. My brother kept up his stroke and didn’t say anything, but he seemed uncomfortable about the intrusion.

With the hand I wasn’t using to masturbate, I touched Steven’s body, rubbing it slowly up and down him. Thomas followed my lead, and together we covered as much of his body as we could reach. I couldn’t see his genitals, but I could feel his erection starting to come back.

Fiona, still twisted slightly, felt around for Thomas and ran a hand over his chest, paying special attention to his nipples. It was only interrupted when I ejaculated for a second time, and he pulled back to let me catch as much of my fluid in my hand as possible.

I would normally lick my own fingers, but as it was my second orgasm of the day, I held up my hand, intending for Thomas to lick it. This time, it was Ryan’s turn to slip up, as he also leaned in and they bumped heads.

‘Wait, were you about to lick that?’

‘Um, no.’

‘No, you definitely did. You realise that was your sister’s stuff?’

‘I wasn’t going to lick it.’

‘Oh, leave it.’ Neither of them had taken the liquid, so I licked it myself. ‘It’s not the time to talk.’

Despite their conversation, the boys hadn’t missed a single thrust into us.

‘It’s the perfect time. Do you do stuff together? That’s incest.’

‘It’s not like that,’ I said. ‘Just leave it. Finish off, then we can discuss it.’

‘It looks like it to me.’

‘Thomas,’ said Steven, now rubbing Ryan’s chest, ‘she’s right. It’s not the time.’

‘‘We all have needs,’ said Fiona in that mocking voice.

‘I have needs. I need to know.’

‘Oh, don’t be so dramatic,’ said Steven.

‘You didn’t see it. He tried to lick his own sister’s fingers.’

‘Calm down. Things happen in the heat of the moment.’ As he spoke, the door buzzer sounded. ‘That must be them. I’ll go and get it.’ He left the room without putting on any clothes.

‘This isn’t the end. That’s incest, what just happened.’

‘It’s not like that,’ I said. ‘Like I said, finish off, then we can discuss it.’

Possibly without the distraction of Steven, I heard a change in my brother’s breathing, and then he stopped his thrusts as he shot his fluid into her.

‘Oh God,’ she said, ‘Oh, God. That was great. It’s exhausting though, even just lying there.’

‘Two loads today,’ I said, ‘sister, then brother. No wonder you’re tired.’

‘There! It’s stuff like this. Is something going on you’re not telling me about?’

Samantha, Tiff and Jack bounded into the bedroom, followed by a still-naked Steven.

‘Hiya, everybody,’ said Tiff, ‘and you must be Ryan.’

He pulled out of Fiona and drops of semen fell onto the bed.

‘Aw, you’ve just finished. I wish we’d been five minutes earlier. Well, I hope you can come twice because you, my cutie pie,’ Tiff ruffled his hair, ‘are not getting away that easily.’

‘Let’s get started, then,’ said Samantha. ‘We’ve so much making up to do.’

‘Not so fast.’ Thomas held up his hand. ‘Something’s just happened and we all need to talk.’