In our new flat, it was difficult to find the optimal arrangement of beds in our shared bedroom. We settled upon a single and a double bed next to each other, with a narrow passageway between them. I would sleep in the single and Fiona liked the far side of the double, so my brother would be between us.

Although we would interact with each other sexually, there were times we would simply watch each other masturbate. Ryan had begun to complain occasionally about how a woman seemed to have an infinite choice of toys while a man usually had to make do with his hand. So for his birthday, Fiona and I clubbed together to buy him a little toy.

When he woke up that morning, we told him to stay in bed. Fiona and I put on our dressing gowns over our pyjamas and left the room, telling him we had a surprise.

He shouted after us. ‘Are you finally going to have proper sex with each other? Not just funnels?’

‘Nope,’ I said, entering with a box of a size and shape that could reasonably have held shoes. After singing Happy Birthday to him, we both kissed him on the lips and told him to open it.

There was a further box inside with the words Fun Boy Box in large letters; a ridiculous name, but it had some good reviews. Nonetheless, I immediately set his expectations. ‘Now, this is not an expensive one. It’s a cheaper one just to see if you like it, then maybe next birthday, who knows?’

He didn’t care. His face lit up as he discarded all the packaging. He firstly felt the outside of the silicone shape and then inserted a finger into the vagina-shaped cavity. It was like a lump of a female body, about twice as wide as it was high. The instructions said to place it on a flat surface and thrust into it like he was having sex.

‘Thank you so much.’ He kissed us both again. ‘Can I try it out now?’

I looked at the clock. ‘You need to be at work in less than an hour. And we need to talk about Rachel staying over.’

‘What is there to talk about? She knows about us.’

Fiona had never met her, but she knew the story of how Ryan and I had been caught one Christmas, and how the three of us siblings had ended up masturbating together for the first time, an experience that hadn’t been repeated.

‘Yes,’ I said, ‘but there’s a difference between her knowing and us rubbing it in her face.’

‘And we’re not moving the beds.’

‘Ryan, what’s she going to think when she sees we all sleep in the same room? We’ll put the single bed in the other bedroom and pretend that’s my room. The inflatable mattress can go on the floor for her.’

‘Why bother? I don’t really care what she thinks.’ He was naked by this point and keeping his erection with gentle strokes.

‘Um,’ said Fiona, ‘I don’t mean to speak out of turn, but if she asks, why don’t you just say you normally sleep in there, but you moved the bed to give her some privacy?’

‘Fiona’s right. She’ll think we’re doing her a favour. Now, can I use my thing?’

I couldn’t help but sigh. ‘She’s not even coming for his birthday. She’s got some work thing and she’s using us like a free hotel. She drinks too much as well. I’ll be surprised if she even remembers his birthday.’

‘Come on. We’ll talk about this later,’ said Fiona. ‘I’ll get the toy ready.' She inserted the silicone part snugly into a plastic holder, then squeezed a little lubrication into the cavity and spread it evenly around the inside with her fingers. ‘Feel the bumps inside that.’

I slid my fingers in briefly. ‘That’s a lot rougher than you’d expect. That can’t be comfortable.’

She handed Ryan the bottle. ‘Put this on yourself as well.’ He squeezed a little on his penis head and stroked it into the skin.

The plan was for my brother to use his toy in the middle of the double bed while us ladies lay at either side of him and used our vibrators.

But when he tried to enter, the toy was pushed backwards by his penis. He tried to hold it with one hand, but found he needed both hands to hold his body weight. He lay on his back and tried to use it like he would use his hand, but it was too bulky and he couldn’t build up any speed.

Finally, he went back to thrusting. This time, I held down the toy with one hand while I used my vibrator with the other. Judging by his face and his slight grunt, he had finally hit the sweet spot, but it was tiring on my arm. I asked Fiona to help me. I’m not sure how much longer we could have held it, but I could see and hear he was nearly there.

When my brother slowed down to ejaculate, I took my hand off the toy and held the palm open, expecting him to withdraw and give me his semen. He didn’t notice, and instead finished inside his new toy.

‘Enjoy that?’ asked Fiona.

‘That was amazing.’ He kissed her with tongue and then me, letting his softening penis flop onto us and leaving stray drops of semen over the bed. We should have put down a towel, but since the bedsheets had to be washed anyway, I let my own fluids shoot everywhere when I orgasmed.

Fiona quietly finished herself off while I told Ryan, ‘Go and have a shower. I’ll clean this thing.’

‘Thanks, you’re the best.’

Another drop of semen hit the floor as he left to visit the bathroom and I quickly realised I had a whole toy full of the stuff. I wasn’t going to swallow it because it was mixed with lube, but I could still use it.

When I heard the shower being switched on, I grabbed our funnel from the drawer. ‘I know we don’t normally keep secrets from each other, but you never saw this, all right?’

‘Saw what?’

Placing the narrow end of the funnel into my vagina, I slowly poured the semen from the toy into me. There was quite a load, so I asked, ‘Do you want any?’

‘No, you take it. Why don’t you want him to know?’

‘Because if he knows I’m doing this, he’ll ask why he can’t just finish inside me.’

‘I don’t think he’d do that. Just tell him. I think he’d like to watch you.’

‘I love him to bits, I love what we do together, but I don’t want him to use this thing once and never again. Maybe I’ll tell him further down the line, but not just now.’

She stroked the silicone with her hand. ‘So you’ll be cleaning it every time for him?’

‘Whenever I can.’ I stood up and pulled on a pair of panties without draining the semen from inside me. I knew it would drip out soon, but I liked the feeling. Besides, I wasn’t going out anywhere and the panties could be washed alongside the bedsheets. ‘We’ll need to find a way to hold that thing in place as well. My arm’s still aching.’

Fiona switched on her vibrator again. ‘I think I’ll have another one. That was pretty special, watching that.’

‘Well, I’ll give this a wash,’ I said, ‘and you can help me move the bed later.’