“5...4...3...2...1...we have liftoff of the Phallus 5 rocket” The great pink rocket roared into the air with its two-person crew sitting in their pressure suits in the bulbous purple command module atop the great booster. This was the maiden trip of the rocket with its crew trained to practice activities that would be required on a future trip to Mars. Things that had never been done in the weightlessness of space before....

Three girls and a church dare The three girls had known each other since they were primary school kids together in a small village outside Dublin. Now in their early 20’s they all worked in the offices of the only real employer in the village. They were constantly messing about and always up for a laugh in the big city on a Saturday night but they always attended the same Catholic church on Sunday morning, often with a ha...

A Hot Photo Session Since I was very young, I have been a very keen photographer and in recent years, it has developed into a rewarding side hustle to the point where I have a studio setup in my garage. Most of my clients are women who want professional quality photos for their work curriculum vitae or for work related social media. Clients are usually smartly dressed for the occasion in business suits consisting of smart...

There I was sitting in the waiting room of the spa hotel. My good friends, Jane and Pete (see my “I found a DVD” series of stories), bought me a Christmas present of a massage here. Eventually, the very pretty receptionist called me through saying my clinician would see me now. I was shown into a massage studio where I was greeted by a very pretty blond in a white uniform. “Hello, I am Yana,” she said in a very Eastern Eu...

I was called upon to travel to Norfolk for work. For those who don't know, Norfolk is the eastern bit of England that juts out into the North Sea. It's very flat with windmills, a bit like The Netherlands just across the sea. I decided I needed three days to do the job so, rather than book a hotel, I found a cottage for rent. The cottage was in a little village near the Norfolk Broads. The Norfolk Broads are lakes formed...

Every year I attend a music festival not too far from my home but I always camp. I go with some very dear friends who are a married couple, Dave and Lucy, and every year it has always been the three of us as I have always been single at the time. This year I have a boyfriend but he was unable to get a ticket and the day before the start Lucy was called away to attend a work conference. Dave and I decided we were going any...

Returning from a wedding. A few years ago, like most people, I went through a phase of many of my friends from school and university getting married in their early twenties. I received an invitation from one couple, Judith and Ian. I had been to the same school as Judith. The wedding was to be held on the south coast, a long way from me so I booked myself into a B&B that was about twenty miles away from the venue. It was...

During my time as a student, I was a student ambassador and was involved in many aspects of student life, including helping others from time to time. When I left university, I stayed locally and was offered the chance to become a student councillor. They sent me on some courses and gave me an office (broom cupboard) to work from. Most of the students that came to see me were freshers. Contrary to popular belief, most stud...

When I was seventeen, I was already masturbating regularly but had not had any serious encounters with anyone else. At that time I was seeing Mark who was a year or so older than me and also a virgin. One night we decided to go to the pictures to see a film, probably a Disney or something lame. We chose seats at the back of the theatre and cuddled up for the film. It wasn't long before we were both kissing, with tongues,...

Following a torrid affair with a work colleague, I decided I had to leave my job and found a new one as an administrator in an office. It was a nice relaxed atmosphere, having mostly girls in the office as the guys were mostly out and about seeing customers. There were two girls that I worked closely with: one was a receptionist, Katie, who was the ideal person for a reception job being very outgoing and bubbly, and then...

For Natalie… I have been a regular blood donor for many years and have done it more than thirty times, so it doesn’t faze me in the slightest. However, on this particular occasion, things turned out differently. I turned up as usual at the local sports club hall, went through the prick test and paperwork checking before being led to one of the reclining couches. It was in the corner of the hall, a bit away from everyone e...

It's lockdown. Damn virus! We're not allowed to meet anyone. It's cold today. Time to walk the dog. He's little, “Rex”. We walk the same route every day. Across the fields. We see other dog walkers. We nod, say hi. I always smile too behind my mask. Just seems friendlier. Dog finishes sniffing and I walk on. More dog walkers. More hellos. More sniffing. Walk on, hands in pockets. It's cold! Another walker, coming towards...

One day I was having a coffee with my good friend Debbie. I was staying with her in Ireland where she lived and worked. She’s about my age, slim and attractive and single, a fact that always amazed me as she is so attractive. She’s a teacher at the local Catholic girls’ boarding school and I was asking her how her job was going…“Fine. It’s getting to that time of year when I have to do sex education and you know what I fe...

Following an intensive selection process, both Jayne and I were selected for Team GB at the Masturbation Olympics. Over the last couple of weeks we competed in rounds of heats against people from all over the world and, unfortunately, Jayne was knocked out in the semi-finals by a questionable judge's decision. That left me as then only Team GB finalist in the women's event. So, first the rules: 1. Like the men's event, co...

Jayne and I were both part of Team GB for the Masturbation Olympics. Amazingly, I got through to the finals so I'm going to skip the heats and jump to the finals. My event will follow in Part 2 but first the men's event... First the rules: Men have 20 minutes in which to perform and the aim is to cum as close to 20 minutes from the starting pistol as possible. Extra marks are awarded for accuracy to this timetable. Points...