Hands up if those of you who answered guilty are now getting friends requests from guys who mention the webcam thing.
I'm starting to feel insulted. Just because I've done it once doesn't mean I'll do it with anyone.
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MinaMiranda
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 48
United Kingdom
Forum
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Quote by mazza
I haven't done it, but I have been asked a few times...
Is it good? (is that a silly question?)
If you get a decent mental connection going with the person then yes.
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Uhm, well, I like Highwaymen and Pirates, but there don't seem to be too many of those around...
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I'm sorry, this makes no sense...can you clarify?
Do you mean, can you batter a woman's self-esteem down enough for her to accept a date off someone she wouldn't normally go for?
Do you mean, can you batter a woman's self-esteem down enough for her to accept a date off someone she wouldn't normally go for?
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Guys without a strong sense of self get passed over. Note this does not mean 'completely selfish' - immature people may confuse the two. Challenge us first - the worship can come later.
Must agree that Secretary is an awesome film and has saved me many an explanation of my preferences, and why.
Must agree that Secretary is an awesome film and has saved me many an explanation of my preferences, and why.
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Done it once...can't do it for long. Also I'm a singer and scared of damaging something.
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get a selection together and wear them at intervals throughout the evening. It can be interesting to see the variety people will respond to.
No Ugg boots though.
No Ugg boots though.
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I didn't believe in it either until a boyfriend found it by accident...first Vajayjay orgasm ever. Bloody amazing. THAT's how you know when you've found it - there's no mistaking it. Sadly - it has eluded me ever since. But I know it's there...
I think some women have a bit more success using something firmer than fingers, but if you are sensitive in certain places that may not be the way to go. It helps if you have a guy who is happy to help you 'explore uncharted territory' - would probably be a huge turn-on for him.
But otherwise, don't worry about it too much. Nature has given us other ways to get off and we're all different. I think it's so important not to assume others' sensual experiences should work the same for you - that's a one way ticket to sexual neurosis. We are all snowflakes....
I think some women have a bit more success using something firmer than fingers, but if you are sensitive in certain places that may not be the way to go. It helps if you have a guy who is happy to help you 'explore uncharted territory' - would probably be a huge turn-on for him.
But otherwise, don't worry about it too much. Nature has given us other ways to get off and we're all different. I think it's so important not to assume others' sensual experiences should work the same for you - that's a one way ticket to sexual neurosis. We are all snowflakes....
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Thank you for all the thoughtful and understanding replies. Going to try to mix the two up a little bit - perhaps be a bit more restrained online, and a bit more wild offline, and see if I can't find the happy medium that way.
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Quote by Mistress_of_words
Lush is a great place to explore who you are and you'd like to be. It's not decieving, it's like practicing in a flight simulator before you get your hands on a real plane - it doesn't matter if you crash so you can attempt that loop-de-loop with no fear.
That's an amazingly apt analogy, and very reassuring.
Aw Sunny...
well, there is strength in being alone (doesn't feel like it though) Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by Dancing_Doll
Hmm... I'm very much the same offline as well as online.
In your situation, I think I would say that the real inner you is the one that exists online. After all, you clearly enjoy sharing your sexual side in this environment, so it does exist authentically within you. I'm thinking that probably you end up repressing this side of yourself in real life because of expectations of others, or maybe there's a shyness factor or concern about how you will be perceived or maybe even judged.
We all have to wear different masks in our public lives and be social chameleons in different environments, but I think I would only be concerned if you can't be "the real you" with your closest friends or significant other in a private environment.
Goddamit you're good.
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Quote by budwilliams
My sex life suddenly went from three times a week to zero in 1996
The reasons vary:
Sometimes it's because of her meds
Oh hell yes, meds - especially ones for depression and similar things damn well ought to be marketed as contraceptives. They cosh the libido well into submission. You can lie there for hours trying to get yourself off and it just won't happen. Same goes for the Depo injection - brilliant. No chance of children at all. Because you're two stone heavier and your hormones are having their own party to which you're not invited.
Someone earlier in the thread mentioned the concept of renewable marriage - I believe Wiccan Handfasting ceremonies are renewable yearly. So, if all goes well, you get to have a romantic ceremony and party with friends every year, and if it doesn't go well, there's no divorce drama to struggle through. I honestly think it's genius.
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Ladies, do you ever feel this way or do I need to look at my self-esteem?
Online - I totally cut loose. I am erotic, expressive, daring, confident, get into some wonderful and naughty conversations with men. It feels like an equal playing field and I feel like a woman through and through.
Offline - I feel like a complete imposter. I'm prudish, nervous, self-critical and if any of my nearest and dearest knew what I was up to they'd either fall over themselves laughing or disown me completely.
But...
Which one is the real me? Is the net my mask and everything I am here is dependent on being online? How can I combine the two...I would hate to be misrepresenting myself, I'm not into deceiving people at all.
Your thoughts please, as to what's going on?
Online - I totally cut loose. I am erotic, expressive, daring, confident, get into some wonderful and naughty conversations with men. It feels like an equal playing field and I feel like a woman through and through.
Offline - I feel like a complete imposter. I'm prudish, nervous, self-critical and if any of my nearest and dearest knew what I was up to they'd either fall over themselves laughing or disown me completely.
But...
Which one is the real me? Is the net my mask and everything I am here is dependent on being online? How can I combine the two...I would hate to be misrepresenting myself, I'm not into deceiving people at all.
Your thoughts please, as to what's going on?
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Because some of us are related to Lilith, the first Vampire, and the holy essence of masculinity nourishes us.
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Wow. Uhm. Well there's lots of things that can affect this -
Could it be as simple as familiarity breeding contempt?
Sex became routine and you're not sure how to spice it up?
Maybe, just maybe you've got 'too close' and have stopped seeing her as a sexual being and more an extension of yourself?
Or is there a thrill at tasting forbidden fruit...when something is available on tap we tend not to want it as much so go looking elsewhere - Thrill Of The Chase?
This would definitely be time for a chat with a sex therapist IMHO.
I know that one technique they use with this kind of thing is to place the couple on a no-sex-for a month ban, the idea being that a reverse psychology kicks in and when the month is up you can't keep your hands off each other.
Or maybe even one of you going away for a little bit so that you start to miss her and the desire comes back that way?
Does she know you feel this way? Please don't cheat - what if this is just a temporary thing and you lose her forever?
Could it be as simple as familiarity breeding contempt?
Sex became routine and you're not sure how to spice it up?
Maybe, just maybe you've got 'too close' and have stopped seeing her as a sexual being and more an extension of yourself?
Or is there a thrill at tasting forbidden fruit...when something is available on tap we tend not to want it as much so go looking elsewhere - Thrill Of The Chase?
This would definitely be time for a chat with a sex therapist IMHO.
I know that one technique they use with this kind of thing is to place the couple on a no-sex-for a month ban, the idea being that a reverse psychology kicks in and when the month is up you can't keep your hands off each other.
Or maybe even one of you going away for a little bit so that you start to miss her and the desire comes back that way?
Does she know you feel this way? Please don't cheat - what if this is just a temporary thing and you lose her forever?
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Christian Bale and Trent Reznor. Johnny Depp is providing the lube.
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is a secret agent working for the Russians, and is knocking off David Cameron while Nick Clegg watches.
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CellarDoor's profile is interesting, visually attractive and she shares similar tastes to me. So I hope she accepts my friend request.
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Yeah, just because you've been dead for hundreds of years doesn't entitle you to any less dignity. Some countries might not agree, though. I know that in some countries your gravesite is rented, and when the family stops paying you get uprooted and thrown in a pit. 
Thank you Bizarre magazine!
And I don't buy the DNA argument. After that length of time there won't be much left, and since when can you reconstruct a face based on DNA? I know it can be done using skull fragments, but not DNA, unless someone wants to correct me
I see no particular mystery around the Mona Lisa's smile, either. The first time I ever got a good look at that painting, it seemed to me Leonardo was trying to depict the radiance of a pregnant woman and succeeded. You can tell by the way her hands rest on her bump.
Thank you Bizarre magazine!And I don't buy the DNA argument. After that length of time there won't be much left, and since when can you reconstruct a face based on DNA? I know it can be done using skull fragments, but not DNA, unless someone wants to correct me
I see no particular mystery around the Mona Lisa's smile, either. The first time I ever got a good look at that painting, it seemed to me Leonardo was trying to depict the radiance of a pregnant woman and succeeded. You can tell by the way her hands rest on her bump.
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Hey, I'm not judging you, hun - every circumstance is different. As some people above have said - on some occasions if you do find a sensitive way of approaching the friend about it, she might well say 'go ahead', and may well appreciate that you took the time to consider her feelings by asking. Actually, to go out with the guy I'm talking about, his ex was a friend of mine and I did ask her permission, and she did say okay. Lol she did warn me he was an asshole though - I should have listened.
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I hear you. Had way too many boyfriends who were freaked out by it. But I think it's down to a lack of understanding as to what submission means. I think a lot of guys stereotype D/s behaviour based on society, porn and unimaginative friends so it's up to us to explain what it really means.
Some guys possibly see it as welcoming disrespect for women? I, for one, can see why that would freak out some men.
Some guys possibly see it as welcoming disrespect for women? I, for one, can see why that would freak out some men.
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Quote by Dancing_Doll
I follow the code for close friends unless they encourage me to go for it (which happened once, but she is an exceptionally non-jealous cool girl and those are rare). For the most part I try to avoid it because of the drama it always has the potential to cause. They need to come up with the female version of the saying 'bros before hoes'... maybe 'chicks before dicks'...?
Sisters before Misters.
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I am currently getting over a relationship lost in this way. My boyfriend went off with my best friend. She would say it was justified because he had finished with me, but the reason he finished with me was for her and it seems they were spending time together behind my back before this.
I will never ever forgive her. She knew what the relationship meant to me. I had ample opportunity to do something similar to her and never took it. Ultimately it's about the pain you are likely to cause. There is no 'fair game' IMHO if you know you will be hurting that friend, and you have no right to call yourself a friend any more if you act on any feelings you may have towards someone they care for.
I will never ever forgive her. She knew what the relationship meant to me. I had ample opportunity to do something similar to her and never took it. Ultimately it's about the pain you are likely to cause. There is no 'fair game' IMHO if you know you will be hurting that friend, and you have no right to call yourself a friend any more if you act on any feelings you may have towards someone they care for.
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Quote by Graham_X
Oh I like the idea of the fizzy drink! I guess if you were dead posh you could use champaign hehe
Actually this technique is known as 'The Champagne Blow Job' but it's more of a Soda Water blowjob for those of us on the minimum wage.
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The dreaded fanny fart....not so much in itself but am frequently unable to continue due to laughing hysterically.
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Quote by eviotis
5. "I have an ex-boyfriend who was kinda violent." Next.
You just excluded at least two-thirds of the female population there, friend.
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Quote by pshawitsashley
I'm... I don't even know how I am doing. I have no support group whatsoever. I had to leave public school to homeschool myself because I became so sick. All of the people, even best friends that I knew just forgot about me. Nobody gives a fuck anymore. Please excuse my language.
Yeah, I am only eighteen. I just turned that on February 27th. Most people I know are out rebelling and partying. I'm stuck inside and never leave my house unless I have a doctor appointment, or a test, or I get so bad that I have to go to the ER. Yeah, I am terrified that because I am so sick with this slow death sentence, and I am only getting worse as we speak, that no guy will ever even want to try.. They will always be focusing on me, taking care of me, driving me to doctor appointments. I wil neve have energy, I wouldn't be able to go out on date. I'd be horrible, and nobody would deserve that...
I am so sorry for your health issues and your family's. You all are in my prayers, most sincerely.
Hi again hun! May I just say, I think your avatar is genius
Dancing_doll has given such good advice. If you can't find a support group in person though, don't forget you have the world of the internet at your fingertips. Other people can give us strength and hope, even if they only come to us behind a screen.
Do you find you have good days and bad days with your illnesses? Sometimes, even though the bad days outweigh the good days, The good days you just have to seize on, and cram as much positivity into them as possible, even if the ability only last a few hours. It is not fair that a lovely girl like you should suffer this way. I too wonder if a guy will ever have the strength to 'put up' with those parts of my life, but I refuse to let my illness define me (well, okay, I admit, on GOOD days I refuse to let my illness define me). But the way I figure it - perhaps I'm being unfair on guys. There has to be someone out there with a similar value system to me, who will not give up either. The world is filled with such a huge variety of people - there just can't NOT be, does that make sense?
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I'm going to go out on a limb here but...when you were growing up, was your father around much?
Everything you are describing is psychologically attributable to an absent father figure, and you are definitely not the only young woman to feel this way. I relate greatly to the huge yearning within you. It is a yearning, isn't it?
It's good that you have identified that there is this issue, early on. But I would also say, please be careful. In elevating male attention to this level of importance, you are putting yourself at risk of some really unhealthy relationships that will drive you down even further - you are already more likely to settle for something that is no good for you simply because you need to feel wanted. It's going to be harder for you to work out when a guy is really into you - as you have already found out.
I'm telling you, being with a guy just for the sake of being with a guy is going to make you feel worse. It's just like a fix for an addiction. You get a hit of satisfaction that doesn't last and you want more, but that magical fulfillment never comes. In fact some people do describe this as a 'love addiction', and if you google it you'll find you're not alone.
But this isn't to say you've brought this on yourself, it's not your fault and you are NOT lacking as a person. People are the way they are for generally good reasons. I think it would really help for you to see a counsellor or therapist and talk this through. It can change, and you can feel stronger. As we heal past hurts, then the things we desire change in line with that healing.
It's hard to see people around you in couples, laughing, doing all that romantic stuff, it can make you feel completely unlovable and wonder when it will be your turn. Your turn WILL come.
Take care sweetie x
Everything you are describing is psychologically attributable to an absent father figure, and you are definitely not the only young woman to feel this way. I relate greatly to the huge yearning within you. It is a yearning, isn't it?
It's good that you have identified that there is this issue, early on. But I would also say, please be careful. In elevating male attention to this level of importance, you are putting yourself at risk of some really unhealthy relationships that will drive you down even further - you are already more likely to settle for something that is no good for you simply because you need to feel wanted. It's going to be harder for you to work out when a guy is really into you - as you have already found out.
I'm telling you, being with a guy just for the sake of being with a guy is going to make you feel worse. It's just like a fix for an addiction. You get a hit of satisfaction that doesn't last and you want more, but that magical fulfillment never comes. In fact some people do describe this as a 'love addiction', and if you google it you'll find you're not alone.
But this isn't to say you've brought this on yourself, it's not your fault and you are NOT lacking as a person. People are the way they are for generally good reasons. I think it would really help for you to see a counsellor or therapist and talk this through. It can change, and you can feel stronger. As we heal past hurts, then the things we desire change in line with that healing.
It's hard to see people around you in couples, laughing, doing all that romantic stuff, it can make you feel completely unlovable and wonder when it will be your turn. Your turn WILL come.
Take care sweetie x