Ladies, do you ever feel this way or do I need to look at my self-esteem?
Online - I totally cut loose. I am erotic, expressive, daring, confident, get into some wonderful and naughty conversations with men. It feels like an equal playing field and I feel like a woman through and through.
Offline - I feel like a complete imposter. I'm prudish, nervous, self-critical and if any of my nearest and dearest knew what I was up to they'd either fall over themselves laughing or disown me completely.
But...
Which one is the real me? Is the net my mask and everything I am here is dependent on being online? How can I combine the two...I would hate to be misrepresenting myself, I'm not into deceiving people at all.
Your thoughts please, as to what's going on?
Stock answer to most forum questions:
Some do, Some don't
Love blindsides us all.
Hmm... I'm very much the same offline as well as online.
In your situation, I think I would say that the real inner you is the one that exists online. After all, you clearly enjoy sharing your sexual side in this environment, so it does exist authentically within you. I'm thinking that probably you end up repressing this side of yourself in real life because of expectations of others, or maybe there's a shyness factor or concern about how you will be perceived or maybe even judged.
We all have to wear different masks in our public lives and be social chameleons in different environments, but I think I would only be concerned if you can't be "the real you" with your closest friends or significant other in a private environment.
i feel alone when im not on lush
ask me anythin
tell me your secrets
becuase im here to be somebodys best friend
Lush is a great place to explore who you are and you'd like to be. It's not decieving, it's like practicing in a flight simulator before you get your hands on a real plane - it doesn't matter if you crash so you can attempt that loop-de-loop with no fear.
Agree with Mistress and Doll. Only my closest friends see who I am...here on lush as well in person. The others I see at work or in other social settings don't simply because I don't care what they think. More important I can live with who I am and know that those I care most about love me for who I really am!
I am like this in some ways also.
Online- A big flirt, very outgoing, daring, open to anything and everything.
Offline- Actually kind of shy with strangers and definitely critical of myself, but still very sexual and open with friends.
I think the online persona is more the real me. I am more like the online Nikki when Im with my close friends and I find I am becoming more like that everyday. Lush has helped me to realize that it is OK to be highly sexual and you can be without being a total slut. And that there are so many women out there that share my thoughts on sex, and that I am not alone in how I fell about sex.
The Flight Simulator correlation is right on I think. It allows us all to be who we are without fear of what our friends and family will think of us. And when we are comfortable, then we can share the real person. Its like I will fantasize about something and them maybe one day when I am ready, I will make it a reality!!
I definately wear different masks for different people. I would say that the majority of people don't know me well at all
I think I'll have to go with the majority on this one.
Like most of you, I feel I can be more expressive, free-spirited and sensual then I normally would; but it's a great feeling!
My closest friends know this other side to me that I closely guard, but don't think much of it - because they know the true me! However, It is true that we reveal and hide certain personality traits - its only human.
We are always to some degree self critical and no matter how much we may deny it, we almost always care about what others think of us and keeping a little mystery is normal because we need that barrier in order to maintain certain relationships.
(imagine what your mother-in-law, boss, or other members of the PTA might think of your Lush exploits!)
I truly believe that it's natural to want to explore these deeper pockets of ourselves on Lush because it makes us feel good (and who couldn't use a little ego boost every now and then?)
In reality, no one is "perfect," it's all about trying new things, saying or writing things we don't get to express on a daily basis, and seeing ourselves in a new way - almost like under a newly changed lightbulb!
I think maybe the "real" you is a combination of both. In the real world it takes time to be comfortable in who you are and express it. The cyber world is a good place to explore the things you are curious about and learn more about yourself.
When i first joined the online world I was a little wild, while in reality I was shy. Move forward in time and I'm somewhere in between, online and off I am the same person.
The experimenting was OH SO FUN!
Thank you for all the thoughtful and understanding replies. Going to try to mix the two up a little bit - perhaps be a bit more restrained online, and a bit more wild offline, and see if I can't find the happy medium that way.
Stock answer to most forum questions:
Some do, Some don't
Love blindsides us all.
well, there is strength in being alone (doesn't feel like it though)
