The rule of thumb is.... write your story. Where the sex begins, doesn't matter. But when writing backstory, be sure your setting the scene, introducing the characters and launching the plot... and nothing more. Too much backstory becomes what is typically called "info-dumping"... which is bad. It bores the reader, drags down the story and is tedious to write to begin with. Keep your backstory quick and to the point. Your characters, setting and plot will be your best guides as too how long is needed.
Less is more. Always.
And with erotica, sex is the main interest of your readers, so backstory needs to be a brief as possible, without cheating your story. But get to the sex quickly. You can keep your readers hooked with well crafted lead up as you present the plot, and it's a good idea if you have a lot of backstory you want to put in, to intermix it with the plot leading up to the sex. Never bore your readers if it can be helped. =o)
Plato hypothesized, there is a love greater than "traditional coupling" that can be achieved through abstinence. That a relationship is far more powerful if it is not clouded with sexual desires... etc... read up on "platonic love" there is some interesting conjecture there.
But. He was hiding the fact he was getting homosexual relief from several of his students, while maintaining these non-sexual relationships on the other hand. It's easy to remain non-sexual, when you're getting sex on the sly! *lol*
Most relationship experts and psychologists through out the centuries have debunked Plato's theory, and agree sex is a very important part of a romantic relationship. Eventually, it will be an issue.
Waiting is great. If you're not ready (whatever the reason) you're not ready. But... don't expect the other to wait forever. Eventually the relationship will strain and resentment will build. Doing other things to circumvent this inevitable deterioration, like oral sex or fingerplay... is only stalling.
So, while you still have their interest, seek professional help. Work out whatever your issues are. If it's just waiting for marriage, then work on moving that forward. If he/she is not the one, move on... it's cruel to keep stringing someone along like that.
Best of luck to you.
Nicole Richie
Paris Hilton
Lindsay Lohan
Carmen Electra
Pam Anderson (after plastic surgery)
In all honesty, I usually won't stop her... umm, well, I mean back when we were still active. But there were times when I did. Sometimes she made the decision for me and would stop. I didn't care, but like most guys, I think, sometimes if she wanted to give head, there was no force on Earth that would convince me to stop her. *lol*
Oh no. I am so sorry to hear this. *sending positive vibes for her and hers*
I can understand plastic surgery in moderation, in certain circumstances... but I see it sometimes used as a band aid to insecurity. People like Pamela Anderson, who was one of the world's most beautiful women, ever... until she destroyed her looks with unnecessary plastic surgery.... it's so sad.
I don't know... the women who appeal most to me, are natural. I see women every day, in every day life, working normal jobs, with un-enhanced bodies, that are so beautiful... I think Hollywood (as a mentality and a society all its own) puts unfair pressure on women... and usually, it's unneeded.
Erika Eleniak, another gorgeous woman, felt she needed bigger boobs to get her part on Baywatch. Sad. Same show, Nicole Eggert, also gorgeous as she was, did the same thing. Sad, sad, sad.
We should start sueing these people for their stupid lawsuits, for bogging down our already overwhelmed justice system. It costs me tax dollars and eats away at the fabric of our society. I mean... since we can't shoot them. *lol*
Ok, if everyone else can nut up... I confess to liking some of Miley's Cyrus's music... If you knew me in person, you'd be more surprised. Being a major metal head...
Another guilty pleasure is my cheap cigars. I quit smoking (finally!) after 30 years of smoking, but I still enjoy a cigar now and then for celebrating or social gatherings.
A writer needs to have thick skin. I wouldn't be published, if I had given up the first time someone said my stuff wasnt good enough. I wouldn't be published if I had given up the ten thousandth time someone said I wasn't good enough. For every piece I've had accepted, I received 100's of rejections. Every writer experiences massive amounts of negative critique and rejection. I forget who said it, but a famous writer once said that the only difference between an amateur and professional writer, is that the professional never gave up.
If you adopt one single trait that most writers have in common... make it perserverance.
If something is rejected, reach out for critique... find out what's wrong with it, then fix it. Maybe we should have a sandbox, where we can post works in progress, for others to help us iron out the kinks...???
*lol* ok, this thread made me laugh out loud. Just to add to the fun... in one of my novels I'm working on, one of the characters refers to it as a "snack pack"
I see a woman and a man, starting what looks like to be a very fun and intimate encounter. I don't see the male as being protective... but I don't see him as being unconcerned with her well being either. Its a very romantic and sensual image. I doubt her welfare is the last thing on his mind, but I'm pretty sure there are other things at the forefront! *lol*
Hehehe.. can't argue with science! It's in our DNA.
Every year, my buds and I get our families together for a week long camping trip, and we guys do the cooking on a massive wrought iron grill. We huddle around it and trade ideas on the best way to cook each meat selection, experiment with marinades and spices, and talk meat with a beer in one hand, a spined fork in the other.
*lol* that's one thing that's always embarrassed me. When people find out I'm published, they see my posts and think... umm, you're a writer? *lol* ... all I can say is thank god for editors!
I got 3 of 4 too. ug!! The quotes within quotes always gets me. *lol*
*sending positive thoughts*
Mine is just my websites background... not sure I would say its funky... but, its not stock either. *lol*
. I make it a point to look out for myself. I don't pour super hot liquid into my mouth without testing it to see how hot it is. And if I did, it would be because I was too groggy or distracted or something like that... in which case, it would still be my fault. So, no, I won't come here and cry victim to you, for something I did to myself. I might come share my misery and laugh at myself with you... but I won't blame something that was in my control and went awry, on someone else.
