My friend and I pulled up at the valet parking in the front of the Paris hotel in Las Vegas. It was a warm spring evening, and the sun had just begun to set behind the mountains.  The air smelled fresh and clean, an anomaly for the strip. I smiled to myself when I noticed the valet sneaking a peek at my legs when I extended them and stepped out of Sue’s car.  Maybe this would be a good night after all. 

She smiled radiantly at me as I watched her walk around her car while hearing her high heels click on the ceramic pavers as she joined me. 

“Don’t worry,” she said, as she adjusted her short, red, halter cocktail dress, “I promise you’ll have a good time tonight.”

I forced the best smile I could, all the while thinking that I should be back at my apartment finishing my finance paper or, at the very least, studying for midterm exams, which were next week.  Instead of using the weekend to focus on academics, I had instead chosen to max out my credit cards on a sleeveless, black lace cocktail dress and black Prada pumps because I didn’t have any formal clothes that I could wear to an event like this. I dreaded the thought of calling my parents again and asking for the money that this evening was costing me.  Even though the dress was a little short due to my 5’8” height, the black was the perfect contrast to my long blonde hair. 

Hell, this dress is worth every penny.     

For the better part of a year, Sue had been trying to convince me to accompany her to these black-tie charity fundraisers that were held twice a year at the Paris.  It always surprised me that she got invitations through her work because these events were fairly exclusive.  I had spent the last several months listening to her rave about the last one she had attended, and she finally wore me down and I agreed to go with her.                

Sue grabbed my hand and pulled me into the casino, which temporarily put my academic concerns and financial woes out of my mind.  While walking through the main casino floor, I was immediately mesmerized by the myriad of flashing lights and sounds of the slot machines.  I could feel the energy in the room as the various gamblers tried their luck at the blackjack and craps tables.

Tonight seemed different, though; maybe it was just me, but was everyone looking at us as we walked through the room? The hungry eyes on us reminded me how much I loved dressing up and showing off a bit.     

We arrived at the door and Sue gave her invitation to the doorman and we walked into the vast ballroom. I was shocked to see a full orchestra playing a catchy tune from the… I don’t know… 1950s, maybe? I had always loved jazz music so maybe this evening wouldn’t be too bad after all. If nothing else, it was going to be different than the dance clubs on the strip that I usually frequented.        

“Get some drinks and I’ll find a table,” Sue said.    

Walking to the bar, I admired the extravagantly decorated room and I couldn’t help but think that someone really went all out.  Crystal chandeliers, crown molding, enormous flower arrangements on every table, beautiful silver flatware, and opulent white linen tablecloths.  I started to feel a bit underdressed for the occasion.         

“Two Hypnotiqs, please,” I said, smiling sweetly at the bartender. 

He instantly turned around and began pouring the drinks. I nonchalantly slid my fake I.D. back in my purse, happy he didn’t question my age.        

While waiting for the drinks, I scanned the room again, admiring the beautiful dresses that some of the women were wearing, and noticed that more of the older women had chosen longer, more formal evening gowns, while women my age had opted for shorter cocktail dresses. I figured it must be a generational thing. However, I loved how their more formal attire added to the feeling of exclusivity of the event.  It was fun to pretend I was royalty, or maybe a Hollywood starlet, if only for the evening.            

I was suddenly snapped out of my daze by a short, chubby, balding man who seemed to almost miraculously appear in front of me.

“I’m not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!” he exclaimed proudly.

My jaw dropped. Did he really just say that? I wasn’t sure if I was more embarrassed for myself or for him. I tried to move my lips to form some sort of retort, but no words came out.

He broke my stunned silence by saying, “Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.”

I could feel myself going from shocked to embarrassed, and then to angry. 

I started to say something clever like, “Did you come here with friends or are you the only thirty-five-year-old virgin here tonight?” when I felt a hand rest on the small of my back. 

I turned and looked into the deepest blue eyes I had ever seen.

“Are our drinks ready yet, honey?” he asked smoothly, giving me a soft kiss on the cheek.

My knees instantly went weak. I barely noticed Mr. Cheesy-Pick-Up-Line’s look of disappointment as he skulked away.   

My deliverer looked perplexed by my choice of cocktails as he slid his credit card to the bartender.

“It’s Hypnotiq,” I replied, answering his unasked question, “and thank you,” I added.

He smiled softly at me. “You looked like you could use the help”. 

I returned his smile, peering again into those deep blue eyes. The mix of gray and black hair gave his age away.  Maybe fifty, I thought to myself.  He was wearing a black designer suit that fit him impeccably. He was tall, I guessed six-foot-three, just a bit taller than I was in these heels.

He had a ruggedly handsome face that seemed to encompass a ‘boyish good looks’ quality. Maybe at one time, perhaps in his youth, the title of pretty boy would have fitted him perfectly, but the years had turned his boyishly handsome face into the look of a distinguished older man.           

“I’m James,” he said as the bartender slid his credit card back to him, “and my fee for one rescue is a dance.”

I smiled warmly at him and took his extended hand.  He led me to the dance floor, and almost effortlessly I found myself securely in his arms.

For the first time in my life, I was happy that my parents had forced me to take ballroom dance lessons during my junior year of high school, a month before my oldest brother’s wedding. In the clubs that I frequented, the dancing was more of a bump-and-grind, pre-mating ritual, but this was formal and elegant, and he danced magnificently.     

I told him that my name was Melanie and I was a sophomore at UNLV working toward my accounting degree. We discovered that we were from the same part of Southern California.

I also told him that I had moved to Las Vegas to go to college and get away from my parents (a much longer and messy story), and he told me he was in town checking up on his businesses.  As we learned more about each other, he told me that he owned about thirty restaurants in the Los Angeles and Las Vegas areas and he was in town frequently to “put out fires”, as he described it.

When the orchestra ended the song, he asked me back to his table so we could finish our drinks. I knew I should decline, but he intrigued me. I was struggling to put my finger on the reason, but I couldn’t. I felt drawn to him and didn’t know why.  

Seeing that Sue was deep in conversation with a handsome man who appeared to be about our age, I accepted his offer.  

I felt his eyes on me as I walked in front of him to his table, and for the first time since we had arrived I felt self-conscious.  I was used to wearing revealing club attire, short, low-cut dresses and skirts that showed acres of skin and put a lot on display. However, in this haughty environment, my little black dress definitely had me out of my comfort zone, especially when the older women had chosen more formal evening wear.  Regardless, I didn’t want to appear uncomfortable, especially to him.       

When we got to his table, he smiled and told me not to go anywhere. I watched him walk across the room toward the bar to get fresh drinks. He moved effortlessly, confidently, liked he owned the room. 

We spent the next several hours talking, dancing, and drinking. I loved his business background, and all the theories I was learning in my classes he was putting into practice in his restaurants. We talked about management concepts, marketing schemes, and tax dodges. Not exactly topics reminiscent of sexual foreplay, but I found him enthralling. He seemed to know a little about everything and he talked to me like an adult, something that very few people in my nineteen years had done. Being around him was intoxicating and I stopped listening to that little voice that had told me to be careful.    

It was a little past midnight. About an hour earlier, Sue had grudgingly gone home. I had reassured her repeatedly that I was all right, and she knew I could take care of myself.  James made me feel comfortable and at ease. In truth, I just didn’t want this perfect evening to end.    

The dance floor was packed, the drinks continued to flow, and I felt wired. The drinking and dancing were having an effect on me. I wasn’t sure what got my heart racing faster, his hand on my thigh as we talked or the scent of his cologne as we danced. I was mesmerized by him, and when he asked me to join him in his suite I just couldn’t find a way to tell him no. 

While we rode up the elevator to the top floor of the Paris, I thought I was going to lose my balance because of my knees knocking together. Exhilaration and trepidation, those were the two main themes of the evening. 

I had never done this type of thing before, not with a man anyway. Jump into bed with a guy after only knowing him for a couple of hours? That wasn’t me. When I chose to be intimate with a guy, he was always my boyfriend and I made him work for it. He had to take me out and buy me dinner a few times. This just wasn’t me. And what about his age? God, I can’t even start to think about that. But it’s happening…

- - - - -

He used his key card to unlock the door to his suite. He held the door open for me and I stepped inside. The great room was large and expansive, and it appeared to be bigger than the entire apartment that I shared with my roommate. The suite was elegantly appointed in a Parisian theme, and the Eiffel Tower and the millions of lights on the Las Vegas strip lit up the room. While I was enjoying the stunning view outside our window, I felt him move behind me.

I turned to face him and his lips instantly fused with mine. We kissed passionately as we stumbled further into the suite, not breaking apart until we were beside the enormous king-size bed in the master bedroom. While we continued to kiss, I felt his fingers move down my stomach while his other hand unzipped my dress. 

I felt flushed, a combination of his hands exploring my body and the alcohol that I had consumed earlier. My dress was incredibly tight, and even after he had it unzipped it still clung to my body. He continued to kiss my neck roughly as he slid the dress down and off of me. Shivers went through my body as he kissed my shoulders while simultaneously unclasping and removing my bra, exposing my breasts. 

James immediately attached his mouth to one of my hard pink nipples and started gently biting and sucking before licking around that breast and moving to the other one.  I threw my head back and moaned and gasped as he worked my nipples, massaging one while busily lapping at the other.

While he continued to play with my breasts, I began to unbutton his shirt. He stopped his ministrations to my nipples so I could get rid of his unwanted article of clothing. Once I had his shirt on the floor, I moved to his pants, tugging at his belt buckle and zipper. Before I knew it, I added James’s pants and boxers to the growing pile of clothes on the floor between us.  

He broke our passionate kiss, and we paused for a moment to look into each other's eyes. Then, caught up in the hedonistic moment, I got down on my knees in front of him.

I paused for a few seconds to marvel at his cock, which I had to admit was a magnificent specimen. It was long and fat, and I scooted just a bit closer so I could take it in my mouth. I gently gripped the shaft and ran my tongue over the large purple head, tasting the pre-cum that had formed on the slit. I licked up and down his shaft several times, coating his cock with my saliva.

I looked up; James’s eyes were closed and low groans were escaping his mouth.  Smiling, I took the head into my mouth and started sucking on it, moving it slowly in and out, teasing him. He continued to groan and writhe as I took more of him into my mouth until I had most of him in my throat. I looked up again and his eyes rolled back as I started to move my head faster. I was able to relax my throat, which allowed me to take him all the way down to the root.  

After several minutes, he was grunting loudly and began to thrust himself in and out of my mouth. At that point, I remained motionless, which allowed him to control the pace. I kept my lips sealed tight around his cock while his hips continued to thrust back and forth rapidly. I could taste his pre-cum in my mouth, which got me even more aroused. 

I felt his body start to tense and his breathing changed. I thought he was going to come in my mouth until he took a step back, causing his cock to slip from between my lips. I watched as he took a few deep breaths and regained control of himself, postponing his impending orgasm.

I looked up, our eyes momentarily meeting, and we exchanged a brief smile.  Wordlessly, he helped me up off my knees and then playfully pushed me back onto the bed. In an instant, he was on top of me and kissing me passionately, and I felt his hard cock press against the inside of my thigh. He trailed kisses down my body until he reached my thong, which was now soaked completely through. I felt him slip his fingers under the material and slide it to the side, over the thin strip of light brown pubic hair above my vagina. I opened my legs wide, giving him better access, and watched as he lowered his eyes, looking hungrily at my pussy. 

“My God, you’re so wet, Melanie,” he said as his eyes traveled over my body.

I felt my wetness seeping out of my vagina and running down the inside of my thighs. Giving blow jobs always got me hot and tonight was no exception. He slid his fingers underneath the thin material of my thong and peeled it off.    

Teasing me, he ignored my glistening pussy and kissed and licked my inner thigh. Then I felt his mouth travel to where he licked and gently bit the inside of my other thigh, inching closer to my pussy. 

By this time, I was moaning and bucking my hips. I could no longer stand any more of his teasing, and I grabbed his face and moved him so his mouth was in line with my vulva. Apparently, that was all the prodding he needed; he immediately started sucking on my clit and running his tongue up and down my wet slit. Gasping, I looked down as he extended his tongue and pushed it deep inside me. 

I felt him put his hands on my ass cheeks, which he massaged roughly while keeping his tongue buried in my wet sex. The intense pleasure he was giving me with his mouth made me feel like I was slipping in and out of consciousness, and I could hear the slurping sounds emanating from between my legs. My hips were bucking wildly as I ground my pussy roughly into his face. I shook and shuddered and experienced my first of what would end up being many orgasms of the evening.                                     

He let me recover by licking the wetness from the inside of my thighs, and thankfully his mouth stayed away from my sensitive clit for a minute or so. Once he saw that I had recovered and my faculties had returned, he began to lick up and down my slit again. This time he put two fingers inside me and curled them upwards while working his tongue hard and fast over my clit.  Every nerve in my body felt like it was on fire. I continued to appreciate his talented tongue and he drove me to two more orgasms before I pushed him away. 

While I was coming down and trying to regain my senses, I watched him climb up over me and capture my lips with his. His face was shiny with my juices; as his tongue plunged into my mouth I could taste my pussy during our very erotic kiss. While his tongue was exploring my mouth, I felt his thick erection press against the inside of my thigh, and I suddenly realized that he hadn’t come yet.

While continuing to kiss me, he took his shaft in his hand and I felt him run the bulbous head up and down my lower lips and over my wet slit. He then positioned himself right above my opening, slipped the head inside, and then powerfully pushed forward, instantly opening and filling me. I pulled my mouth away from his, gasping and moaning in pleasure. Almost instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist as he started to slowly thrust in and out of me. 

He began to move inside me with a slow and steady pace of long, even strokes. He then moved forward and I felt his weight on top of me, sensually crushing my breasts against his chest. I moved my hips up to meet his thrusts and felt another orgasm rock my body. Seeing my release, he began pumping furiously into me. As he quickened the pace, I began to thrust my hips up hard against him. Both of us were grunting and sweating profusely as he fucked me hard and fast on that big bed. I started screaming as another powerful orgasm overtook me, and my body shook almost uncontrollably as James continued his powerful thrusts. 

After I came down from my peak, I could tell by his breathing he was close to orgasm, but he suddenly pulled out of me.

“Get on your hands and knees,” he ordered.

Without thinking, I quickly complied. I turned over, burying my head into a pillow and raising my ass into the air, presenting myself to him. I felt him slide up behind me and position himself. I was so wet from my orgasms that his cock slid easily back inside me. Once again he started with long smooth strokes. I heard him moan as I tightened my muscles, squeezing his cock inside me.

This spurred him on and he once again picked up the pace, his thick cock pistoning roughly in and out of me. I felt his balls slap against my ass as he grabbed my thighs and pounded me hard. I felt his breathing start to change and his body tensed up; I knew he was again close to orgasm. I reached between my legs and rubbed my clit, which instantly sent me over the edge. Simultaneously, I heard him grunt and let out a low moan as he came inside me. 

Exhausted, he collapsed on top of me. We rested for several moments until our breathing returned to normal and I felt his cock soften and then slip out of me as he moved to my side.  

“I could use a bottle of water, what about you?” he said, smiling at me. 

“A bottle of water sounds perfect,” I said while pulling up the sheet from the mangled bed to cover myself up to my waist.    

I watched as he strode across the room towards the minibar. I couldn’t help but sneak a peek at his ass as he walked away from me. It was tight and toned; he obviously spent as much time in the gym as I did. When he returned to the room, my eyes instantly lowered as his penis came into view. Even flaccid, it still looked impressive, swinging back and forth, the head touching one thigh and then the other as he walked. I looked back up, my eyes caught his, and he gave me a knowing smile. I looked down, shyly realizing he’d caught me admiring his cock. He handed me the bottle of water and slipped back into the bed beside me.

We began talking again as we sipped our water. We talked about our love of Southern California and of the rich history of Los Angeles. I wondered why I felt so comfortable around him. Post-coitus conversations should be awkward and uncomfortable, but this wasn’t. I had only known him for six hours, but it felt like six years.

After about an hour of easy conversation, I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted me again. As we moved closer to each other and joined our bodies together, everything felt perfect. This time, it wasn’t animalistic fucking like before. His motions were slow and easy, and we took our time. We enjoyed each other’s bodies and revelled in the pleasure we were giving each other. We both reached orgasm easily, and as the sun started to come up, I fell into a deep sleep in his arms.

The last thing I remember thinking was, did we just make love? 

- - - - - 

The next morning I awoke, and as the fog lifted it took me a few seconds to realize where I was. I wasn’t in the tiny bedroom inside my small apartment. Looking around, I realized I was in a large soft bed in some huge hotel bedroom. I became scared until it all started to come back to me. The charity fundraiser, the orchestra, the dancing, the drinks, the…. Oh, shit… sex.

As I moved in the bed, I felt James’s body pressing against mine. I looked over at the bedside clock. God, it was almost two in the afternoon.

My mind started whirling. It was Saturday afternoon and I thought of everything that I needed to get done before Monday. Damn, I had already wasted half the day sleeping.  

I quickly formulated a plan. I could attempt to make a stealthy getaway by slipping out of the bed, silently getting dressed, and slipping out of the room before I was discovered.  Unfortunately, it was all for naught when I discovered that my stirring had woken James. 

“Good morning,” he said, smiling at me. 

“Good morning,” I said shyly, pulling the sheet up to my neck, making sure my naked body was covered.

“Listen, I had a great time last night, but I need to figure out where my clothes are so I can get home,” I said in a low, mortified tone. My whole body was sticky from sweat and I didn’t want to think about what else it was probably sticky from. I knew I was a mess and I probably smelled like I had been having sex all night. 

“What’s your hurry? I don’t want you to think I’m running you off,” he said in a jovial tone.      

I looked down shyly. “No, it’s not that. I have a million things I need to get done before class on Monday and I’m sure you have things you need to do as well. I don’t want to get in your way.” 

Why couldn’t I have just gotten up a half-hour ago and snuck out while he was still asleep? Now he’s awake and I have to pay the piper. 

God, how mortifying.       

“Nonsense. Why don’t you get a shower and then we’ll get breakfast, err, um, lunch,” he said after looking at his watch and realizing the time. “We have things we need to discuss.” 

“First, the only thing I have to wear is that wadded-up cocktail dress in the corner.  Second, I don’t think we have much to talk about.”

He smiled confidently. “First, we have a lot to talk about. Second, by the time you’ve showered, I will have solved the clothes problem.”

I thought about my options. I could either do the walk of shame wearing a dirty thong and wrinkled cocktail dress all the way to the cab stand outside of the hotel, with everyone I came in contact with in the Paris knowing I had just woken from a night of what had turned out to be really great sex. Or I could take a shower, possibly put on some clean clothes, get something to eat (my grumbling stomach reminded me that I hadn’t eaten in the last fourteen hours), and salvage a little dignity from the previous evening’s activities.

I finally relented and agreed to eat lunch with him, provided I didn’t have to wear the same clothes I wore the night before.    

A half-hour later, I felt human again. I was scrubbed clean and, at the very least, looked presentable. I wrapped myself in a towel, stepped outside the bathroom, and saw a large shopping bag from Victoria’s Secret on the bed.      

“I’ve never been that great at picking out women’s clothes, so I hope you like them,” I heard James say from the bathroom that must have been located in the other bedroom of the suite.              

I walked over to the bed and began to remove my new outfit from the bag.  I found pink gym pants with matching pink socks, a white cotton thong and matching sports bra, a white athletic t-shirt, a gray hoodie, and short brown Ugg boots. My jaw dropped; how did he get all of this in the time it took me to shower, I wondered.  

I stepped out into the great room wearing my new clothes and James met me with a smile. He cleans up nice, I thought to myself, admiring his tight blue jeans and pressed white collared shirt.

“How did you manage to get all of this, in my size no less, in a half hour?” 

“I’ve learned that when you tip the concierge really well he can perform miracles,” he said, laughing. “Now let’s get going. You look beautiful and you must be starving.”

I listened to James talk between bites as I silently ate my chicken Caesar salad. He had picked a small and relatively secluded Parisian-themed cafe for us to dine. He told me that he normally stayed at the Bellagio. However, one of his close business associates helped to organize the charity fundraiser the previous night, and his friend expected him to attend and make a sizeable donation, so it was easier to stay at the Paris for this trip. 

He asked detailed questions about my classes and he marveled at how the undergrad business program had changed since he attended USC.  He was at ease making small talk, but, although I got the sense that he was genuinely interested in my college courses and my life in general, it felt like he was holding something back, an important subject that he had yet to broach with me. 

As the waiter cleared the dishes from our table and refilled our wine glasses, James’s face turned serious as he looked into my eyes. 

“Melanie, I want to see you again when I’m in Las Vegas next month.” 

I looked down, flustered at his statement, and it took me several moments to collect my thoughts.    

“James, I can’t imagine what you must think of me. We meet, and a couple of hours later I’m in your bed. You might not believe me, but last night was something I’ve never done before with a man. I had an amazing evening, probably the best of my entire life, but what we did last night isn’t going to happen again. It was a one-time thing.”

It broke me up inside to see the hurt look in his eyes. He looked like a little boy who had just lost his puppy. He looked down, and I realized that my statement had clearly shaken his confidence.

“I shouldn’t have expected a pretty young college girl like you to want to spend time with me. Hell, I’m old enough to be your father and then some.”

My eyes widened as I processed his words.

“James, my decision not to see you again has nothing to do with your age or how you look. My life is a mess, and even though I’ve built a nice façade for you over the past eighteen hours there is a lot about me you don’t know.”

His expression lightened once he learned that my not wanting to see him again had nothing to do with his age or appearance.

“Has anything you’ve told me been a lie up to this point?” he said, looking seriously into my eyes. 

I gasped. “Of course not.”

“Then fill me in on the details of your messed-up life,” he said, a smile returning to his face. 

I let out a low sigh. I didn’t even like to think about my problems, much less admit them to myself, and now I was about to air my dirty laundry to someone I hardly knew. 

I looked down, trying to collect my thoughts, thinking of the best way to proceed.

“James, I’ve only been in college for a year and a half and I already have a mountain of student loan debt. The lease is up on my apartment and my roommate is moving in with her boyfriend, so in another month I’ll probably have to move back into the dorm because I can’t afford to pay the rent by myself.”

I paused again to collect my thoughts.    

“I drive a beat-up Honda Civic that my parents bought me when I turned sixteen and it’s on its last legs. The dress and shoes I wore last night maxed out my credit cards, but I didn’t have the heart to tell my friend I couldn’t go with her because I didn’t have anything nice enough to wear. I am probably the proudest person you will ever meet, and a couple of times a month I have to call my parents and beg them for money.”

At this point, I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes and I felt like a foolish child for unburdening my soul to someone I barely knew.

“And don’t think I told you this to get your sympathy, because I’m not asking for it and I don’t want it,” I abruptly added.                                                        

He tried to force back a smile, but then his expression quickly changed to concern when he saw that I was about to cry from my revelation.

“The biggest reason I can’t see you again, James, is because my friend Sue is going to help me get a job where she works, and as much as I’d really like to, between my studies and working I simply won’t have the time to spend with you when you are here.”

He looked into my eyes with concern. “What type of job is she going to help you get?”  

“Sue is a cocktail server at the Rio and she arranged an interview next week for me with her boss.”

He thought for several moments before he spoke. “I don’t want to further upset you, but can I suggest an alternate plan?”  

“All right,” I said without really thinking.  

“I come into town once, sometimes twice, each month.  If you’ll agree to see me, more specifically, agree to stay at my hotel with me, I’ll take care of whatever you need and I can solve some of these financial problems that seem to have you so upset.”

My jaw dropped while my mind started to comprehend the type of arrangement he was suggesting. He broke the silence with another question. 

“Melanie, you told me last night you had a 3.8 GPA and that your advisor has already suggested that you consider an MBA program or law school once you’ve completed your degree, right?” 

“That’s correct,” I said, my mind still racing. 

“Do you honestly think you’ll be able to keep your high GPA once you are working a part-time job?  I know you have big aspirations, and I’d like to help you achieve them.” 

Silently, I considered his last statement. I was pretty sure I could keep my GPA even with a part-time job, but all of my spare time would be devoted to academics. I had come to the realization that my life of clubbing and partying would come to a quick end once I started working or my grades would suffer.

“I don’t want to sound condescending or self-serving, but you have the rest of your life to work, Melanie. I’m offering you an opportunity that few college girls your age will ever have. You’ll have time to do the things you want, to study and maintain your grades while still enjoying the club life you told me you love.  And if we do this right, every time I’m in town can be like last night for both of us, only better.”

I looked into his eyes, and I could feel his words winning me over. I had always been a good judge of character. When something wasn’t right, I felt it. With James, I felt at ease. That was worth everything to me, and I knew his idea was worth considering. 

“I need you to listen to me, Melanie,” his words snapping me back into reality. “I want to be upfront with you, even if what I’m about to tell you queers this deal.”

I smiled at him. Queers this deal?  That was the first time I had ever heard the word queer used in that context.  It’s going to be different being with an older man, I thought.

“Yes, James Dear, I’m listening,” I said sweetly.

He gave me a mock-stern look. He could tell I was joking, but I made a mental note not to tease him that way until he got to know my sense of humor better. 

“I’m married and I have two young children,” he said softly. 

My heart sank. I had sensed that there was a woman in his life. I had been hoping that when he was ready he’d tell me that he was divorced. The last thing I wanted to hear was that he had a wife and children.       

“I understand.”

I knew he could see the look of disappointment on my face.

“After our second child was born, my wife lost interest in having sexual relations with me. Now we only have sex a couple of times a year, and even when we do, it’s not that good. I’ve tried everything to change the way she feels, but nothing has worked.”  

He looked down, unable to look into my eyes as he continued. 

“My children mean the world to me, and I love them dearly, and I’d never put them through a divorce. So whatever happens between us, I want you to know that I’ll never leave my wife.”        

We sat silently for a few minutes, each contemplating what the other had said. I didn’t expect any of this when I agreed to go to lunch with him. Maybe I should have put on that crumpled dress and left when I woke up. Maybe I needed to get up from the table,  leave now, and never see him again.  

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how complicated this situation was. Our lives were messy and neither of us was perfect. That much was obvious. The more I thought, the more I kept asking myself one simple question. Did it feel right being with him? That question was very easy to answer. It did.           

I looked him in the eyes and smiled. “I’m in, James.”

- - - - -

To be continued …