Amber unlocked the door and pushed it open to reveal a stairwell, soft florescent light illuminating the steps. I felt a tap between the shoulders. Gentle yet firm.

“Go on down. It’s sort of a playroom.”

I went. Carefully. Despite the light, it was still dim, especially once she closed the door, bolting it behind her. No one else would be able to get in, I realized. I was all alone with her. The girl who wanted to hurt me.

If I was nervous before, now I was scared. What had I gotten myself into? And without Violet here who knew what might happen? I recalled all the pain porn I’d watched. Anything was possible.

I paused at the bottom step, a brush of fingertips on one shoulder making me shiver.

“Want to see my new toy?”

It wasn’t at all what I had expected to see. I had pictured some sort of medieval torture chamber or a dungeon. What I got was a basement that looked like most basements. It was neat, at least. And clean. But it was still full of boxes and furniture and everything you would expect to find in a basement with one exception. In the middle of the floor was a pommel horse. Sort of. It was black and didn’t have handles on top like the ones you see in the Olympics, but otherwise, it was the same.  Feeling the presence of Amber behind me I took a careful look.  Okay. Not quite the same. There were rings attached to the legs and both ends of the padded ‘horse’ and it was set on a wooden platform about six inches tall. It didn’t take much for my imagination to kick into gear.

“I haven’t gotten the chance to try it out yet. You’re my guinea pig,” she said, giggling a little.

“What’s it for?” I asked softly, my breath quickening as she run her fingers through my hair absently.

“It’s a spanking horse. If you’d like, I’ll show you how it works. Shoes off.”

It wasn’t really a request. And I was curious, so I took my shoes off then went over and stepped up on the platform, looking back at her nervously.

“Now what?”

“Now we make sure you don’t try to go anywhere.”

She joined me, standing behind me. There was just enough room to hold both of us. My knees shook a little as she pushed me gently forward until my belly was touching the padded ‘horse’.  

“Stand still, please,” she directed as she stepped off the platform and pulled a wooden box over. It was about the size of an ice chest and lidded. Squatting, she opened it, revealing a collection of leather straps and assorted bits of metal. Chains.  Rings. Clips. Padlocks. At least that was what I could see from where I stood.    

“I said stand still,” she admonished, her voice stern. “Eyes forward.” She emphasized her words with a sharp slap of the hand to my ass. It stung. Shivering, I obeyed.

She squatted and started going through the box. I could just see her from the corner of my eye. I felt a leather cuff being attached to my ankle. My right ankle. I couldn’t help myself from letting out an involuntary sigh of… need? Lust? Longing?  She just chuckled and did the same to my left ankle.

“Spread for me, Jenny. As wide as you can.”

Obediently, I spread my legs for her so that she could clip the cuffs to the rings on the spanking horse’s legs, securing them.

“There we go. Now bend over the horse and reach down towards the floor.

Cuffs were applied to my wrists as well. And, like my legs, she had me spread my arms so that she could clip them to the horse’s legs, leaving me draped helplessly over the thick padding.

I could only assume that she could smell my arousal from where she was. I certainly could. Bent over the black padded leather I watched between my spread legs, head hanging upside down, as Amber pulled a thick leather strap from her box, it to one end of the horse, laying it over my waist, and then attaching it to the other end as well, tightening the buckle so that I was trapped against the apparatus.  

“Try pulling free,” she commanded and I obeyed, pointless as I knew it would be. I was secure. Arms. Legs. My entire body.

“One more and then we can start playing.”

 She placed a collar around my throat. Making sure it was tight. Tight enough so that I found it a little difficult to breathe. I could draw breath in, but it took a little effort. Suddenly, I was scared. What had I gotten myself into?

“Too tight,” I managed.

“I know,” was her reply. Unsure how to respond, I said nothing, whimpering a little as she ran her nails down my back. Despite the dress I was wearing I could tell they were sharp. She must have filed them down to a point before I came over.

“Perfect. You look so natural like that,” she teased.  “Now you’re mine. At least for tonight. Vee said I have to give you back by midnight. Like Cinderella or something. I guess that makes me the cruel step-sister?”

She let out another girlish giggle. Such a dichotomy. The girl next door cheerleader looks masking dark and perverse thoughts.

“Have you ever been spanked?”

“Some,” I admitted, struggling to swallow, the collar making even that difficult.

“Not like I’m going to spank you.”

I didn’t doubt that. I felt a moment of panic and I tried to free myself, this time in earnest. She merely let me, chuckling when I finally gave up.

“Cute,” she commented. “And I haven’t even begun yet.”

I could see her as she mounted the platform, my head hanging down as it was. Between my spread thighs. I watched as she lifted my dress, exposing me from the waist down. She was holding a pair of scissors which she used to cut my panties, tossing them to the side, then did the same to my dress, leaving me naked. I felt incredibly vulnerable.  

She leaned over and gave my ass a soft kiss.

“It’s a very nice bottom. It will look nice and rosy when I’m done with it.”

That was the only warning I got before she smacked me with her bare hand. I let out a surprised, and slightly strangled, yelp. It stung and I felt the heat of her blow on my flesh. Before I could catch my breath, she hit me again. The other cheek this time. This time I managed not to let out a noise, though I winced. It hurt. Not a lot. Enough. And it was humiliating. Or it would be once she realized how wet it was making me. Maybe she already knew. I didn’t dare ask.

She struck me again. This time harder. It sounded loud down here. I squirmed in my bonds. That was about all I could do. And then, the ultimate humiliation. She reached between my thighs and pushed a pair of fingers slowly into my pussy.

“Damn. You are wet, Jenny. I think you are getting off on this.”

I didn’t say anything. I did whimper a little when she started twisting her fingers around inside of me. It felt good. Good enough that I tried pushing back, as best as I could, much to her amusement.

“Horny little bitch,” she commented, withdrawing her finger. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you. Eventually.”

She spanked me again. And again. And once more. I could feel my skin growing heated. Almost glowing. I could feel my pussy start to drool a little. The telltale trickle of wet warmth started to creep down the inside of my thigh. She scooped it up with her fingers and pushed her hand between my thighs, offering it to me.

“Taste yourself for me, Jenny.”

She made me work for it. I had to stick my tongue out as far as I could to lick my own juices off it. I let out a soft moan of surrender. This is what I had become. What Violet had turned me into. A needy little slut willing to debase myself for her and her friend. Not just her and Amber. I’d done it for strangers too. At the club. And our driver. And who knows who else I would? Anyone that she told me to? I’d become her toy. And, worst of all, I kept seeking her out.

“I’m going to get my paddle,” Amber said, interrupting my thoughts. “I think you need something a little harsher. I have a crop, too. And a strap. Have you ever been caned? It’s painful. It leaves welts. Stripes. If you’re not careful, it’ll break the skin. I really want to hear you scream. I bet you have a really pretty scream.

Upside down like this the blood was going to my head, making me a little dizzy. And her words were making me shiver. I didn’t mind the hand. The paddle wouldn’t be so bad, but a strap? A cane? My eyes teared up a little at the thought. I cried out as she ran her nails down the backs of my thighs. She had filed her nails. I could feel the points in my flesh. It felt like fire.

“You’re hurting me,” I hissed, panting as I fought for breath.

“I told you I would. Don’t sound so surprised. This is nothing.”

She wasn’t exaggerating…

I should back up a little and start at the beginning. It had been three days since I’d been locked in a cage and face fucked by Eric. Violet had humiliated me and treated me like a slut. Like a whore. And I still couldn’t decide if I loved it or hated it. A little of both, I think. Not that it kept me from going back the next day for my usual. A diet Pepsi and fries.

“Would you like Ketchup with that?” she asked as she handed me my drink with a smirk, probably aware of how hard my heart was pounding as I sat there in my car, my skirt pulled up around my waist. My panties were sitting on the passenger seat. So was the lipstick I’d used to write ‘slut’ above my exposed cunt.

“Cute,” was all she said. Quietly. For my ears only as she dropped a few packs of ketchup into as well as something else. A note. I felt my heart beat a little harder. Worse, I felt my pussy began to leak all over my seat.

“Have a nice day,” she said with a smile as I took my foot off the brake and drove off, looking for a secluded spot on the parking lot to read her message.

7PM sharp. Dress. Panties. Sneakers.

Without thinking I spread my thighs a little and let my hand drift between them. Soon my fingers were covered with my own juices. I wanted to come so bad I could hardly think. I didn’t though. Good girls didn’t come unless they were told to. And I wanted to be a good girl for Violet almost as much as I wanted to be her dirty girl.

The rest of the day dragged on, the minutes ticking away in excruciating slowness. Trying to take my mind off of our ‘date,’ I put a movie on. A romcom that I quickly became bored with, switching it out to something a little more spicy. Porn. Specifically BDSM porn. Lesbian BDSM. I got comfortable, which, in this case, meant naked, and settled in, my fingers resting against my already wet pussy. I watched, stroking slowly. Just keeping myself aroused. Purposefully not pushing towards an orgasm. Eventually, I ended up driving myself a little crazy, edging myself for a little over an hour. The room smelled of overheated pussy by the time I was done. I thought about showering then changed my mind. The idea of showing up at Violet’s door smelling like a slut…

So yeah, I put on a pair of lavender panties, knowing that they would soak up my cunt juices over the next hour and a half. I was her dirty girl, after all. Just that. The dress would come later. I’d already decided what to put on.

I showed up at a little early, not wanting to be late, and was standing on her front porch, ringing the bell, at exactly 7PM, dressed as she’d requested. The dress I’d decided on was one I’d bought over the weekend with her in mind. A sundress. Scandalously short on me. It was a light pastel green and thin enough to be on the verge of see-through. Also a couple sizes to small which meant it clung to me like a second skin showing off the shape of my breasts and the state of my nipples. Stiff and swollen with desire. God, I really was a slut. For her, at least.

She answered the door with a smile, looking me over for a minute or more before letting me in.

“Pretty,” was all she said as she took me by the hand and led me into her living room. She was wearing a red blouse and a black skirt. Taking a seat on the couch, she simply lifted her skirt to reveal a pair of black lace panties, spread her legs, and pointed to the floor. I took the hint readily enough and kneeled at her feet, blushing shyly as I pushed my head between her thighs and kissed her pussy through her panties, and then started licking them. I inhaled her scent and even tasted her a little through the thin material.

“Good girl,” she murmured, grabbing hold of my hair, her fingers tangled in my locks as she held me in place while I did my best to pleasure her. Soon I had her moaning softly and pushing me away so that she could peel her panties from her wet cunt so I could tongue and eat her properly. I didn’t waste any time, teasing her clit with the top of my tongue, sucking on it. Pushing my tongue into her wet cunt, grinding my nose against her, not caring that my mouth and cheeks were smeared with her juices, my only thought being I wanted to make her come on my face. I’m not sure how long I kept at it. Until she came, her fingers tightening as she pulled painfully against my scalp. I didn’t stop, though Not until she pushed me away, giggling breathlessly.

“You’re getting good at that,” she commented.

“Thank you, Miss,” I breathed.

“You’re wet?”

“Dripping,” I mumbled shyly. I was, too. My panties were soaked.

“You want to come?”

“Please?”

“I’ll think about it,” she said with a grin, pulling her panties back up and smoothing out her skirt before getting up and grabbing her wallet from her purse. She dug out a bill – a twenty – knelt down and stuffed it in my panties.

“Whore’s deserve to get paid,” she said with a playful smirk. “Now get out. I’ll expect you at the same time tomorrow, whore.  Wearing the same panties. And don’t even think of washing them. And no coming. Understood?”

“Yes, Miss,” I managed, humiliation burning in my cheeks as just like that our ‘date’ was over. I went home in tears, the twenty still inside my soiled underwear.

The next night, when I showed up, I was wearing the same panties. Dirty and smelling of cunt from the day night before. After putting some thought into it, I had stopped at an adult store and bought something more appropriate. If I was going to be her whore, I was going to look the part no matter how much it embarrassed me. Fish net stocking and a garter. a vinyl miniskirt and a vinyl bralette and matching heels. All cheap. Things a cheap hooker would wear.

This time I didn’t get a smile. This time she merely shut the door behind me and made me kneel at her feet as she pulled up her skirt, pulled her panties aside, and told me to make her come. Afterward, she made me hike up my skirt so she could get a good look at my panties. The same ones I’d worn last night. Unwashed and dripping wet once again.

“Nasty,” was all she said as she stuffed another twenty into them before sending me home again with the same directions. No coming. Same time the next night wearing the same messy panties. I felt so dirty. Part of me liked it. Part of me hated it. And yet I knew I’d be back the next night..

And I was. Same outfit as the night before. Same panties. She took pictures of me this time. Of my standing in the doorway, dressed like a prostitute. Of me kneeling on the floor at her feet. Of me with my face against her pussy, licking and sucking and swallowing her juices eagerly. This time she made me take off my top so she could take pictures of my tits and my hard stiff nipples before stuffing another twenty into my panties, slapping my ass, and telling me to leave.

The next night… the next night I was surprised to see Amber when the door opened. I looked past her but didn’t see a sign of Violet.

“She’s out,” Amber said with a smile, drawing my attention back to her, then pointed to the floor. Wordlessly I knelt. She was wearing a skirt and a knit top. She spread her legs slightly as I leaned in, and lifted her skirt expectantly.  She wasn’t wearing anything under it. I hesitated a few seconds before starting in on her already wet pussy, doing my best to make her come on my face as she called me all sorts of names. Slut. Whore. Bitch. Cunt. Perv.

She squealed softly when she finally came and I smiled, my lips pressed against her trembling mound, enjoying the moment while I could, expecting her to send me home like Violet always did. Instead, she surprised me, taking my hand in hers and pulling me to my feet.

She led me to Violet’s bedroom.

“Strip,” she commanded and I obeyed, pausing when I was done to just my panties.

“Panties too? I asked.

“Panties too.”

Naked, I stood there, in the middle of the room, while Amber undressed as well and lay down on the bed, lounging, naked, gaze wandering over me hungrily.

“Violet says she pays you. Like a whore.”

I blushed. Hard. Not trusting my voice, I merely nodded as shame colored my cheeks, watching as she rolled over and grabbed her wallet, and started laying out bills. Twenty, Forty. Sixty. Eighty. One hundred.

“I wonder what you’ll do for that?” she said, smiling wickedly.

“Anything you want,” I answered. The truth was, I would have done that anyway. The money meant nothing other than another way to humiliate me.

“Anything?”

“Anything.” The moment I answered, I knew it was a mistake. Not that I could take it back even if I’d wanted to.

“Tomorrow. Same time. My place. I’ll text you my addy.”

“Grabbing her phone from the nightstand, she did just that. I could hear the ping from my phone in the other room.

“Now come here. I want to cuddle.” She patted the bed next to her. A little confused, I settled down beside her, not resisting as she spooned me, gently stroking my hair, my shoulder, and my arm, before resting her arm around my waist.

“I’m going to hurt you, Jenny. Just like I promised. Remember?” she whispered in my ear.

“Yes,” I whispered back, shaking a little, a frisson of fear playing over me as her hand moved over my stomach, nails trailing over my exposed skin until they reached my messy pussy.

“Is that what you want? The truth.”

“I…” I paused. Was it? I didn’t know. The idea scared me. A lot. And yet there was a part of me that wanted what she promised. Wanted to experience whatever it was she was promising. I felt her hand move again, her fingers resting on my mound, a nail brushing my clit. One finger parting my lips, slipping between them. It felt so good. I silently prayed for her not to stop.

“I don’t know. I think so?”

“You don’t sound sure.”

“She began playing with my clit. It felt amazing. So do the fingers slipping into me. One, at first, and then another. I just lay there as pleasure slowly built, panting softly as she fingered me.

“Violet said I’m not allowed to come,” I mumbled, regretting the words as soon as I said them.

“I’m not Vee,” she replied, kissing my ear as she dipped in and out of my wet cunt and teased my swollen nub, taking her time, letting me enjoy the build-up. “You’re my whore tonight. I paid for you. My rules. Understood?”

“Yes… Miss,” I managed, moaning as I felt her fingers sink deeper into me. Breathless I just lay there, unable to move, unable to even speak as she pushed me closer and closer to the edge, talking softly the entire time, her breath warm against my ear.

“I’m going to give you a taste, Jenny. Just a taste. Of pain. I am going to hurt you, but not more than you can stand. Just enough to make you crave more. I want you to long for it. I want you to think about it when I’m not with you. I want you to come crawling to me and beg me for it.”

“Oh,” I said, gasping softly as she pinched my clit, twisting it, her fingers curled up inside of me, searching for my g-spot…

“I want you to hunger for it, Jenny,” she said, the pain growing as she twisted my clit harder, nail digging into my flesh, igniting my nerves until I wanted to scream.

“Oh, god, yes,” I cried out as I came, hard, drowning out her cruel laughter with my cries…

The paddle hurt. Not as much as I’d feared. The sharp sting actually felt good in a way I hadn’t expected. Maybe the spanking had warmed me up for it? Or maybe I was so overcome with a mixture of emotions and physical sensations that I really had no idea what felt good and what didn’t anymore. Even the collar, which made it increasingly hard to catch my breath or breath with every smack of the paddle on my ass and the backs of my thighs, was welcome.

“Vee will want to see.”

She took a few pictures of my freshly paddled ass. I was sure it was bright red by now. And then took a few moments to play with my pussy, making me squirm with pleasure. Not enough to make me come. Almost, but not quite. Then she started paddling me again, harder, this time, leaving me in tears of frustration and pain.

“I’ll send them to Eric too, I think.”

“Oh my god, no!” I protested. She just snickered and paddled me some more a few times and then stopped suddenly and put the paddle down on the floor, beneath the horse where I could see it. By this time I was a little dizzy from being upside down for so long.

“Time for a little break, Jenny.”

She unclipped my wrists. And then my ankles, helping me to stand. I swallowed hard, painfully reminded of the too-tight collar around my throat. Touching it gently, I pleaded with my eyes. She ignored me and kissed me gently on the mouth before retrieving her paddle.

“Stand up straight now. Chest out.”

Without thought, I complied. A moment later I let out a sharp scream as she began smacking my tits. Hard.

“Tits out I said!”

I did my best, cowering with each blow, wanting to cover myself with my hands. When she finally stopped she slipped her finger under my collar. I’d thought it was tight before but at least I could breathe with difficulty. Not I couldn’t at all.

“Hands at your side. Good girl.”

I hadn’t realized that I’d tried to reach up and pull her hand away in a panic. It was all I could do to fight that instinct. She relented once I did, freeing her finger, allowing me to take gasping breaths as I tried to fill my lungs with precious air.

“Anything, Jenny. Remember your promise. I paid you, you dirty little whore, to let me do anything I wanted. Remember?”

“Yes,” I gasped, shaking as she kissed me once more, this time harder, her tongue in my mouth, pawing my poor abused ass with one hand, my sore tits with the other.

“I paid for you and I am going to use you, whether you like it or not, understand?”

“Yes,” I managed, blinking away the tears as she moved her hand from my tits to my pussy, and started finger fucking me again, her sharpened nail pressing into my clit painfully.

“Fuck,” I hissed, making her laugh, her mouth pressed against mine, silencing me.

When she finally broke the kiss, she looked deep into my eyes, her smile both cruel and loving,

“I’m going to tie you to the horse again. This time, facing out. And then I’m going to use a strap on you. It’s leather. It will hurt much worse than the paddle. I’m going to start with your tits. And then I’m going to use it on your cunt. Once I’m done, I’m going to make you come. As many times as you can. But I want you to ask me first. Convince me. I want you to beg me to hurt you. Otherwise, we stop now and you go home. Is that clear?”

Tears dampening my cheeks I nodded, watching as she got her phone out again.

“I’m going to record you too.”

Wetting my lips with my tongue I nodded again.

“Now, Jenny. Ask me.”

She held the camera up, apparently setting it to selfie mode.  I could see myself. Mostly my face, my eyes full of tears, my cheeks wet. The collar around my throat.

“Go ahead, slut,” she said sweetly. “Tell me what you want.”

I watched, transfixed as she moved the camera down to my tits. My skin was red. My nipples were swollen and hard. It was so obvious that I was turned on. And then, to my pussy. My dripping wet pussy. And then back up again, framing my face.

“Don’t be shy, Jenny. What do you want?”

“I…” Half closing my eyes, I took as big a breath as I was able, absently noting what it did to my breasts as I breathed and then let it out. I wondered who she was going to share this with. Violet, of course. Eric probably. Who else? And how did I feel about that? I wasn’t sure. I don’t think it mattered…

“I want to be tied down. On the… on your horse.” Opening my eyes, I stared at the camera, unable to keep myself from panting softly at the thought of what was going to happen. She’d said I could come. Promised me. I needed to so bad. I kept my thoughts on that.

“I want you to tie me down and… and use your strap? On me? On my tits. And my… my pussy.”

I winced at that. She just smiled a little brighter.

“Not very convincing, Jenny. I thought you wanted to come.”

“I do!” I said, almost panicking.

“Then tell me what you want!”

“I want to be tied down. I want you to hurt me! I want you to… to use your strap on my tits. On my cunt. I want you to make me cry. Make me scream. I want you to strap me until I beg you to stop and then I don’t want you to stop. And then I need you to let me come. Oh my god, please. Please hurt me. Please? Please!”

I began crying again knowing that I meant it. I wasn’t saying it just for her. I was saying it because I wanted it.  I wanted her to hurt me. It wasn’t just the promise of an orgasm. It was the promise of pain. Sobbing I backed up into the horse, feeling it pressing against my back. I spread my arms, placing them the length of the oblong leather pad. I spread my legs until I could feel the steel legs against my feet. I put myself in position for her. I had never felt so defenseless in my life. Completely vulnerable. And yet I forced myself to stay like that, posed, as she silently cuffed my ankles to the bars. My wrists to the rings at either end of the horse.

She took a belt and buckled it around my waist. Another leather strap was attached to the back, threaded beneath the horse, between my pussy lips, and attached to the front of the belt. My hair was pulled into a ponytail and tied off with a piece of leather and then attached with a thin leather cord to my collar, forcing my head back. Lifting my head, even a little, made it almost impossible to catch my breath. I found myself forced to stare up at the ceiling, unable to see what she was doing.

“Anything,” she teased. I could hear her rummaging around. It was impossible to tell what she was looking for, though a moment later I heard the snap of leather. The strap. The one she’d threatened me with. At least it wasn’t the cane. Would she make me beg for that too? And would I?

“Ask me, Jenny.”

My breath caught and I could feel my eyes going wide. I could also feel the beginning of drool leaking out of one corner of my mouth and of drool of another kind leaking out of my pussy, soaking the strap holding my cunt lips apart. Trembling, I surrendered.

“Do it,” I whispered.

“Louder.”

“Do it,” I repeated, this time much louder.

“You want me to strap you? Your tit?”

“Yes! Please!”

I screamed. She wasn’t gentle. It hurt. It was pure agony. I couldn’t help but jerk my head. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe. Panicking I let it fall again. My nipple felt like it was on fire. I could feel my skin burning.

“Oh, god, no, please. No,” I babbled.

“Ask me,” She said, ignoring me, waiting patiently until I was quiet again.

“No,” I whimpered.

“Ask me, slut.”

Unable to resist, I asked her.

Again I screamed as pain burned through my other tit, radiating from my nipple outward. Again I jerked my head up, cutting off my air, making it hard to scream. To sob. To do anything but fight for breath as I let my head fall back once more. Again I begged her to stop. And she did. Simply waiting silently until my breathing calmed enough for me to talk again

“Next one is for your cunt. Ask me.”

And I did…

The pain I’d felt before paled to what I felt now. Not just my cunt. My clit. Like a trapped animal I struggled in a panic as pain wracked me, shutting off my brain as I writhed against the padded horse.

“Fuck!” I cried out. Not just once. Over and over. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck!”

It hurt. Worse, it kept on hurting long after I thought it might stop hurting so much. I could hear Amber laughing in the background, apparently amused. That’s not all I heard. My heart pounding. My gasps for air that wouldn’t come. My sobs. Me begging for it to stop. Me begging for her to hit me again. Me begging to come…

I screamed again as I felt a blow against my already tender nipple. And again as she struck the other one. I felt myself going somewhere else. Later, she told me it was something called subspace. I was floating like I was in a trance. It wasn’t like I was suddenly free of pain. More like I was okay with the pain? Not really sure how to describe it…

She used the strap on me again. My pussy. It hurt. I felt like it was on fire. And then… I began to shake and I came. Hard. No warning. Nothing. I just had the most powerful orgasm I’d ever imagined. I even squirted. Not that I was aware of it at the time.  Later she showed me. Much later. She’d videoed the whole thing…

I couldn’t breathe. I could, but I couldn’t. I came again. And again. Three or four times, maybe? And then I went limp, too exhausted to try to hold myself up. I think Amber took pity on me. At least she set me free of the horse and helped me to sit down, an arm around me, my head resting on her shoulder, still trembling a little.

“Intense?” She asked. I just nodded, unable to form words. Eventually, I recovered.

“Hate it?”

I turned towards her, my vision kind of fuzzy as tried to focus and looked into her eyes.

“No,” I murmured truthfully, surprising myself. I hadn’t. Would I let her do that to me again? I wasn’t sure. But I wasn’t sorry I had let her this once. I was slowly figuring myself out through Violet and now through Amber. I wasn’t at all the same person I’d been before I’d started going through the drive-thru. Or maybe I was and I just hadn’t known who I was then? I really didn’t know right now.

“I think I need a nap.”

Amber guided me upstairs and to her bed. She probably should have made me shower first. Her sheets were going to be a mess. I guess she didn’t care. She held me under the covers until I fell asleep. Afterward, too, I think. When I woke up it was morning and there was breakfast and things were… different? The same? I had no idea. I’d figure it out later. Maybe. Or not. I left with a kiss. a slap on the bottom, a wink, and a promise.

“See you later, Jenny.”

I just smiled shyly and kissed her back. I was still smiling when I got home.