I'm gonna have to side with the editors on this one. Just like the forum moderators, they are the unsung hard laborers who actually make this a worthwhile destination.
For me, Lush is a place where I can relax and enjoy stories without being distracted by writers' errors in grammar and usage. Nothing gets me less into a narrative than careless writing. Misused words, misspelled words, run-on sentences, or even full walls of text are far too common on other sites.
Even the great writers of literature are smart enough to understand that editors are a crucial part of the creative process. Authors, after spending many, many hours getting their stories out of their heads and into words frequently overlook minor errors that can ruin an otherwise enjoyable read. Call it the mental equivalent to being nose-blind to funky house smells.
So, yeah, as a reader count me as strongly appreciative of the work the editors do.
After rereading your OP, one thing really kind of stuck out to me -- that your wife has struggled with weight all her life. This is hardly a surprise to you. Gastric bypass surgery and the lifestyle changes necessary to give it a chance to be effective are difficult. 200 pounds is a tremendous amount of weight to lose. One package of cookies isn't going to reverse all that progress. People succumb once and a while. Guilt isn't helpful.
At some point you found her sexually attractive in spite of her struggles with weight, but now you've lost that attraction. I may be wrong, but it sounds like you're looking for moral support from the members here to cheat on your wife.
Here's the thing -- cheating likely isn't going to help things.
Nope, not a deal breaker.
If it's something both partners want to share, great.
If it's something that is more important to one than the relationship itself, it ain't much of a relationship.
So, we're finally getting around to truth in advertising!
Seriously, though, what's your beef? Do you find this "trend" offensive? Do you not see the humor in them?
I'd suggest that sexism (and just about every other -ism) has been rampant in advertisements for as long as ads have been running, so I've no problem with having it turned on me for a change.
Could I endure it? No, but I grew up in a toxic household (drunk mother) so your mileage may vary.
Here's the thing. If it bothers you enough to ask strangers about it now, then it's only going to get more disturbing to you in the future. Disappointment will be followed by frustration, leading eventually to resentment. You probably don't want to go there -- it ain't fun.
Cheap advice: Talk to her about it, let her know your concerns, and see what she does. If she's looking for a long-term relationship with you, then her behavior may change for the better.
If it does, you may have found a keeper; if it doesn't, be ready to cut your losses.
THE LEFT LANE IS THE PASSING LANE!
Once you've overtaken the car to your right, MOVE THE FUCK OVER!!!
(( Sorry, just spent several long, aggravating days on the interstate highways marveling at the ignorance and/or selfishness of many of my fellow drivers.))
I grew up in the early 70's (you know, back when houses were small, party line telephone numbers were common, and neighbors actually knew each other), and the family sedan was the mobile make-out den.
So yeah, I've had car sex. Often.
Still enjoy it every once and a while.
Well, THAT escalated quickly...
Pipe -- you are facing an uphill battle. You took your relationship for granted, and your wife finally reached her limit. I applaud her courage to get away from a situation that she obviously found to be unbearable.
You have spent a fair amount of time trying to sell yourself to us, but our opinions don't matter. You really need to talk to your wife about whether or not she's willing to reconcile, and if so under what terms. Yep, that's right, she gets to set the ground rules. If you can live with and up to them, then best of luck to you both. If you can't live with them call it a day, wish her the best and move on. Most importantly, if you honestly don't think you could live up to the new rules then tell her up front.
You also gotta make a decision about what's more important -- (a) simply getting your dick wet or (b) having a fulfilling relationship. These aren't mutually exclusive options, but all too often option (a) leads to behavior that undermines option(b).
First off, congrats on your recovery. Tough thing to do, but keep it up.
As to your relationship -- you guys really need to talk this one out. She apparently feels the need to try to keep this secret from you; you apparently feel the need for validation of your suspicions. Combined, that's almost certainly going to lead to conflict and heartbreak.
Look, she knows you far better than anyone here does. Maybe she's guilty about what went on (if anything did...) while you were apart. Maybe she's afraid of how you will react. She may not be finding the emotional support she needs at home. She could be miffed that you won't believe her when she tells you there's nothing to the relationship, and yet you continue to invade her privacy. Perhaps you may not fully accept the pull impact that your years of addiction may have had on her. Maybe since your recovery, she finds you a much different man than she's known for so long. The list could go on forever. Only she can answer these questions, and you need to be willing to accept the answers.
Hope it works out for you both, either together or apart.
Not sure if this has been suggested before (I really haven't taken the time to wade through the first 115 pages), but here goes:
Would it be possible to enable a "go to first unread post" feature in the forum pages? Right now, it's either start from the beginning of the thread or go to the last post. I know that some bb programs allow this, but don't know if the program here would support it.
Thx for the consideration.
+1 on the oversensitive thought.
It's a common courtesy that you shouldn't over think (unless the gal says "after you, Gramps.") As long as you are holding the door for others when you can, then everyone's banking good Karma points. I hold doors open when I can, and smile and say thanks when they are held for me. It's a win/win for all involved.