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Opening a door for a guy?

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Hasabrain2
Active Ink Slinger
Where I work, the first floor is the lobby, storage etc. Most employees work on the second floor and arrive around 830 a.m. Almost everyone who works on the second enters through the employee
entrance and walks thru a short hallway and up the stairs to the second floor. If a younger woman is ahead of me at the entrance door, she almost always holds the door open
and motions me to go on ahead.

I'm sick and tired of "age" before "beauty". What do I do? I don't like being treated like an old man who can't open a door for himself.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by Hasabrain2
Where I work, the first floor is the lobby, storage etc. Most employees work on the second floor and arrive around 830 a.m. Almost everyone who works on the second enters through the employee
entrance and walks thru a short hallway and up the stairs to the second floor. If a younger woman is ahead of me at the entrance door, she almost always holds the door open
and motions me to go on ahead.

I'm sick and tired of "age" before "beauty". What do I do? I don't like being treated like an old man who can't open a door for himself.


I am not an old man but I run into this all the time. From men and women. The people I am with are always holding the door open for me. It makes me feel like I am being an arrogant douche when I am not. The best way to avoid it is to just signal them back and either just smile or say something like "after you, please" like it's not a suggestion. Holding the door open I don't mind but the opening it for me and standing waiting for me I can't stand. It's either too subservient of them or like passive aggressive too, like making you walk faster, I hate that too. But yes usually the signal and a smile works or the "after you" gesture with the left hand and reach around them with the right to hold the door if you are physically bigger and they will slip in before you. I know it's ask the gals but it just reminded me of a pet peeve of mine.
naughtyannie
God Empress of Lush
Hmm I think you're being over-sensitive. Surely that's just common courtesy. Just be grateful the young lady has noticed you. It's when she lets the door slam in your face that you need to worry.

The place where I work has an insane number of doors (mostly internal fire doors, to be fair). So if you need advice on door-holding protocol, I'm your girl.

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Volya
Advanced Wordsmith
+1 on the oversensitive thought.

It's a common courtesy that you shouldn't over think (unless the gal says "after you, Gramps.") As long as you are holding the door for others when you can, then everyone's banking good Karma points. I hold doors open when I can, and smile and say thanks when they are held for me. It's a win/win for all involved.
Volya
Advanced Wordsmith
Damn double posts!
Guest
Lurker
+ 2 on the oversensitive.

I do it out of courtesy, not out of age, gender, whatever else you think may come into it.
We all have to live in this world and surely holding a door open for one another is a small gesture we can all appreciate?
JC72
Active Ink Slinger
Just know someone is doing something nice and appreciate the gesture if you are a man... 99% of time I get the doors for people....
ToshLoveCC
Active Ink Slinger
+3 on oversensitive as well

I open and/or hold the door for anyone. It's just common courtesy, a minuscule gesture that restores my faith in humanity by a tiny percentage.

I do hope you're kidding...


ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
Sounds like you're sensitive about your age. Age is a matter of perspective. If your a teen old is thirty. When I turned 50 people held doors and younger men called me "sir." Now I'm use to it. But I still hold doors for others. Getting older beats the alternative. smile
Shannon3K
Una chica rubia caliente
Quote by Hasabrain2
Where I work, the first floor is the lobby, storage etc. Most employees work on the second floor and arrive around 830 a.m. Almost everyone who works on the second enters through the employee
entrance and walks thru a short hallway and up the stairs to the second floor. If a younger woman is ahead of me at the entrance door, she almost always holds the door open
and motions me to go on ahead.

I'm sick and tired of "age" before "beauty". What do I do? I don't like being treated like an old man who can't open a door for himself.


perhaps the best thing you can do is stop seeing yourself as a victim, and realize that there are a lot of courteous people out there. Jeez!
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Anyone opening a door for anyone else is just a nice thing to do. Calm down. I nearly always do it, because it feels nice to do so.

A pretty actress once opened a door for Dorothy Parker and said, "Age before beauty." Dorothy Parker replied, "Pearls before swine" and walked through the door.
Guest
Lurker
I hold doors open so I can show my dominance towards....okay no, I can't do it. Some people can't read sarcasm.

As stated above, holding doors is just a nice thing to do. For someone older, younger, male, female, dog, cat, identical twin or evil step mother. It's just polite, and reading anything more into it is a little too much thinking for what is just a simple act of not being a knob
Guest
Lurker
If I get to a door first I open it for the person after me. Common courtesy.

If I'm with my husband he always opens the door for me.
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by TheAngryishLover
It's just polite, and reading anything more into it is a little too much thinking for what is just a simple act of not being a knob


That made me laugh out loud.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
when i have the chance, i'll open the door for anyone, young, old, man, woman, whatever - it's just a nice gesture and gives me a chance to interact, even if it's in a small way, with people - and when they do it for me, i'll always give them a smile and a thank you - not sure why the fuss about a simple gesture...

when i lived in SF, i'd make it a habit of saying hello to pretty much everyone when i was out walking about - just a 'hi' and a smile, nothing more - i like to think it got passed on - sometimes i'd get a surprised look, but often, i'd get a smile back. kind of made my day a little brighter. it's the little things that we forget sometimes, that have the most impact.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Guest
Lurker
100% agree with sprite!
Guest
Lurker
It's common courtesy, not condescension! If you see it as a problem I hope you never come to England, where we queue for things, hold doors open for each other and thank people for their courtesy as pretty standard things (apart from in London, apparently, but the rest of the country does it just to make the Londoners freak out when people say hello to them when they're on the bus ;) ).

Just you wait until you visit a northern city, where other blokes call you 'love' and people smile at strangers...
Guest
Lurker
Quote by PanJinlian
It's common courtesy, not condescension! If you see it as a problem I hope you never come to England, where we queue for things, hold doors open for each other and thank people for their courtesy as pretty standard things (apart from in London, apparently, but the rest of the country does it just to make the Londoners freak out when people say hello to them when they're on the bus ;) ).

Just you wait until you visit a northern city, where other blokes call you 'love' and people smile at strangers...


I live in London (well, Greater London), and one day was in and around the city centre for work reasons. I walked past a homeless person who asked if I had change, which I didn't. I didn't ignore him, I acknowledged him and said 'sorry, I don't'. He responded by saying, and I'll repeat this word for literal word, 'oh fuck off then, you cunt'.

The fact of the matter is, I wasn't even shocked!

A few days later I was in Manchester, to manage our office up there. I was in and around Manchester City Centre and again a homeless person (they have a lot in Manchester...) asked me for some change. I said to him the exact same thing as I did the guy in London, and he responded with 'no worries then. Have a good day'.

Now THAT shocked me!

A little while after, still in Manchester, I was walking down the street behind a woman (I wasn't stalking, I swear). Walking towards us, although a stranger to us both, was another female. When this female got close to the one in front of me she stopped her, pointed to her shoes, and said 'I REALLY like those shoes, where did you get them from?'.

And that was that. Two strangers stood and talked about shoes. It bloody blew my mind
Guest
Lurker
Quote by TheAngryishLover


I live in London (well, Greater London), and one day was in and around the city centre for work reasons. I walked past a homeless person who asked if I had change, which I didn't. I didn't ignore him, I acknowledged him and said 'sorry, I don't'. He responded by saying, and I'll repeat this word for literal word, 'oh fuck off then, you cunt'.

The fact of the matter is, I wasn't even shocked!

A few days later I was in Manchester, to manage our office up there. I was in and around Manchester City Centre and again a homeless person (they have a lot in Manchester...) asked me for some change. I said to him the exact same thing as I did the guy in London, and he responded with 'no worries then. Have a good day'.

Now THAT shocked me!

A little while after, still in Manchester, I was walking down the street behind a woman (I wasn't stalking, I swear). Walking towards us, although a stranger to us both, was another female. When this female got close to the one in front of me she stopped her, pointed to her shoes, and said 'I REALLY like those shoes, where did you get them from?'.

And that was that. Two strangers stood and talked about shoes. It bloody blew my mind


Told you- I'm not making this up. If you want people not to talk to you as a normal human being in the north you need to wear really big headphones (the in-ear ones are too subtle for this) and you need to not make eye contact with anybody. If you look at them, they will talk to you.

Try being in a long line of people trying to get through a department store doorway when there are queues both to enter and exit. It becomes a 'no, after you' (sweeps arm) log jam of politeness.

We do have rude people, but not half as many as there are in London, and people will even let you change lanes when you're out in the car if you smile and say thank you to them. Don't die of shock or anything.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by PanJinlian


Told you- I'm not making this up. If you want people not to talk to you as a normal human being in the north you need to wear really big headphones (the in-ear ones are too subtle for this) and you need to not make eye contact with anybody. If you look at them, they will talk to you.

Try being in a long line of people trying to get through a department store doorway when there are queues both to enter and exit. It becomes a 'no, after you' (sweeps arm) log jam of politeness.

We do have rude people, but not half as many as there are in London, and people will even let you change lanes when you're out in the car if you smile and say thank you to them. Don't die of shock or anything.


It's not that we are rude, it's just a different culture/pace of life.

The first Monday I was working in Manchester we headed to a 'popular' bar (All Bar One) after work. It was empty. Almost literally. There was a couple right in the corner, and that was it. We went to the barman and ordered, and had a 'chat' with him. My colleague turned round after we found our seats and tried to be funny, saying that people in London are rude and wouldn't have that type of conversation with strangers.

I pointed out to him that I wasn't flustered or taken aback, and had a proper good chat with him. BUT, if this was an All Bar One in London, that the queue to get served would be about 4 deep. All along the bar. You tend to find that people are more able to have conversations in areas where there are fewer people- so I'd argue it's about population density rather than rudeness (or politeness)
Buz
The Linebacker
I am a native southerner living in Atlanta. The vast majority of southern people are extremely polite and friendly, much more so than anywhere I've ever been. And I've traveled extensively. People here will open doors for you, say 'hello' to strangers, wave at strangers, etc.

But in the Atlanta Metro we have lots of transplants from other places. They either adapt, integrate and love it or they hate and bicker and complain all the time.

Those that bicker and complain, well, we take them into the swamps and feed them to the alligators. Our alligators are getting fat.
Guest
Lurker
its just common courtesy some of us have manners you know,don't be so sensitive
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Mykia
its just common courtesy some of us have manners you know,don't be so sensitive


You took the words right out of my mouth!!! Some people just find reasons to complain about anything
Guest
Lurker
I will hold the door open for anyone.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by TheAngryishLover


It's not that we are rude, it's just a different culture/pace of life.




Apologies to those (including you, clearly) who are just going with the flow- there's no intention to offend.

My experiences of London are all of people trying to keep away from interacting though. People turning away when you ask them a question (as a northener in central London, sometimes it can be very confusing trying to make your way around the place, and I have never yet managed to ask directions from anybody because they just blanked me completely when approaching them), people barging around clearly formed queues, people blocking off seats on the underground when there's clearly nobody sitting there and they are the only seats available (and then refusing to acknowledge requests to sit in them).

On the few occasions I've been in London more than just while passing through, I have been left with the impression that every bit of humanity has been sucked out of the place and I just wanted to leave and go home, where bus drivers still talk to the passengers sometimes and occasionally someone will make eye contact with you.
Simplicity
Just me
Yes i would.. Its called being polite... I don't have a problem with it..
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Unknown User
Quote by TheAngryishLover

As stated above, holding doors is just a nice thing to do. For someone older, younger, male, female, dog, cat, identical twin or evil step mother. It's just polite, and reading anything more into it is a little too much thinking for what is just a simple act of not being a knob


Oh dear, this made me laugh smile


And yes, as everyone is saying, holding doors is just a nice thing to do. If I'm next to the door, I'll hold it for anyone. And if I don't, I probably hate you secretly.