I have a friend here in Lush which continually asks me to ask my single girlfriends if they'd be interested in meeting him. He's recently divorced and is obviously lonely. I've tried to deflect the question, i.e., my single friends are single because they want to be single right now. Which is true.
I've also told him Lush is not a dating site for singles looking for other singles. I've even tried telling him that many members on Lush are on Lush to avoid some of the baggage that often accompanies real life relationships.
All has been to no avail. I'll give him credit for being persistent, but his consistent requests for help are beginning to become annoying and bothersome.
My question is this - is this behavior appropriate on Lush. My gut feeling says no, its not appropriate and my gut also tells me this a red flag for this friend.
Comments? Suggestions?
If you've told him "no" then continuing to persist in asking is inappropriate behaviour in and of itself. "No means no" applies to more than just sex. A block or unfriend may be in order. Maybe even mention it to a mod.
That said, asking once is probably okay for Lush. It's not designed as a dating site (the mobile site is a different beast in that regard, though, and maybe he should sign up there) but some certainly meet people here and a couple of my Lush friends are married to people they met on Lush. It's the persistence in the face of your resistance that raises red flags for me. Certainly, I would not set anyone I cared about with someone like that.
True story: A guy on our recent tour of the UK actually asked my wife (with me present) over dinner if she had any single relatives or friends in China she could fix him up with. Some guys are just like that, I guess.
Pretty much as seeker4 says. The block feature is there for you to put a stop to other members interacting with you after you have done your best to say 'no' perhaps on numerous occasions to no avail.
I haven't told him flat out no, I won't. That is the problem. By nature, I'm not confrontational. I like to think of myself as consensus builder, a team player. I'd rather he take the hint and not force me to be definitive with him. But those who have responded are probably right. Probably a bit selfish too, but I really wouldn't to take the responsibility for setting someone up if a relationship went sour. I don't want to be matchmaker, even in real life.
IDK if its appropriate to ask.. I'd probably try and find my own single women but i guess if you established some sort of friendship that made him feel it was ok to ask, then i guess i could see it, when you said no though that should have been the end of it..
a Fuck off is probably in order now..
unfortunately, the internet is not the place for subtleties. our online friends don't have the benefit of hearing hesitation in our voice, or seeing a slight grimace, when certain subjects are brought up. simply tell your friend exactly what you stated here. you may feel more comfortable sending him a PM versus an IM. if there's still any confusion, he can ask you to clarify. wishing you the best of luck?
ETA: and no, i don't feel that what he's doing is appropriate.
Give him the names or links to some dating sites and tell him not to raise the subject with you anymore. If he does then I'd block him.
