Keep the money.
I DO write for a living, but there are certain lines I won't cross. If an editor wants me to write something that's not my thing (rimming, for example), sure I'll write it. If it's something that squicks me out so badly it makes my skin crawl? No. Not gonna happen. That would remove all my enjoyment of the writing process, and I'd quite frankly rather go back into customer service -- hell, RETAIL -- than write porn, scat, etc.
Also, if a publisher was publishing that kind of thing, I would seriously question my desire to continue working with them. I already have a few publishers on my personal "do not submit" list for this very reason.
Whenever you can, avoid filtering, as it creates an extra step of distance between the reader and what the character is seeing/feeling/tasting/etc.
"He saw the sun rise." vs "The sun rose."
"He smelled smoke." vs "The air was acrid with smoke."
"He tasted her kiss." vs "The taste of her kiss made him dizzy."
Lame examples, but you get the idea.
Wow, that is a gorgeous avatar.
...HELLO!
Morgan invited me to join her here, so hopefully this is the right place to introduce myself. (If not, mods feel free to move it to the right place)
I'm a full-time author of erotic romance under the pseudonyms L. A. Witt (gay) and Lauren Gallagher (hetero), and I'm looking forward to joining in the discussions here. I'm no guru by any means, but I'm always happy to help aspiring writers as much as I can. I like long walks on the beach and-- wait, wrong intro. *cough* I mean, I'll be posting some stories of my own soon, too, otherwise I'll be hanging around here, no doubt making Morgan wonder WTF she was thinking associating with me in a public place. BWAAAHAHAHAHAAH
Lori