Tommy

“Tommy, thank you.”

“For being your baby brother? It’s my honour and privilege.”

“Thank you for seeing what I couldn’t or refused to. Thank you for being there when my eyes opened.”

“Laura, it’s what we do for each other. We look out for the other when they can’t.”

“Why didn’t you walk away?”

“From my sister? How could I? Mum and dad would never forgive me. I would never forgive me. I made a promise, not just because of mum and dad, not just because you are my sister and not just because you are my best friend. I made that promise because I love you.”

“But all that, how I was with you, letting him do what he did to me?”

“None of it stopped or could have stopped me loving you. That, my sweet sister, is something he could never take from us. That is for life, it will never die, no court can change that, no law of man either. In a different universe, the roles reversed, you would not, nor could you hesitate to do the same for me. We are a law of nature, just as sure as gravity.”

Laura was crying again, we just stood in the entrance hall, holding each other for a few minutes.

“I feel so dirty, Tommy. Dirty from today, dirty from the last five years.”

I took her by the hand and lead her upstairs showing her the bathroom and her bedroom. I got a towel out of the cupboard for her and showed her how the controls on the shower worked.

“Give me a shout if you need anything. We can get a take away when you’re done.”

Laura hugged me and thanked me again, before kissing my cheek, again. I then left her to it, keeping an ear out in case she needed anything, after a couple of minutes I heard the shower start and I relaxed for the first time that day.

I was more tired than I thought and woke up about twenty minutes later. I quickly checked the kitchen, then took the stairs two at a time. A glance into her room along with the sound of the shower still running told me where Laura was. I tried the handle while I knocked.

“Laura, you okay in there?”

There was no answer. I knocked harder and called louder.

“Laura, can you hear me?”

Still nothing, the door was locked. It was only a tiny bolt, made for privacy rather than security. Putting my shoulder against the door, soon had it open. Laura was still under the shower but hadn’t reacted to my entrance. I slipped out of most of my clothes, leaving my boxers on. As I stepped into the bath I could feel the water was stone cold. Laura was just standing under the head, not moving, goosebumps were covering her body. I walked up close and reached past to turn off the water, shivering as our bodies touched.

Putting one arm around her waist and taking her hand I guided Laura to the end of the bath and told her to get out. I had always admired Laura, she had been one to keep in shape, running several times a week, doing pilates and a lot of cycling. It looked to me that this was one thing he hadn’t stopped, of course, he would want a beautiful plaything. She was obviously in a daze, unsurprisingly, after everything that had happened today and from what she had last said, her realisation of what had happened over the past half-decade.

I picked up the towel I had given her and dried her off carefully, she reacted to my instructions of sitting and standing. When I told her to dry herself, Laura just stood there, holding the towel. I didn’t have any body creams or anything but had a bottle of talcum powder, so rubbed some into her skin. I tried to be clinical when drying and applying the talc to her privates, trying to use her hand to rub herself, I think I was half successful.

It was then that the penny dropped that Laura had nothing. I was not going to get her belongings for a week. We would have to go shopping tomorrow, but that didn’t solve the immediate issue. I led her to my room and pulled out one of my large t-shirts and helped her into it. Then we went to her room, where I got her under the duvet.

Laura gripped my hand when I had kissed her forehead and said goodnight, not letting me go until I lay on the bed, on top of the duvet and held her. It was not long before she was breathing easily and making all the noises of being asleep.

When I was confident that Laura was asleep, I ran downstairs and turned everything off and checked the doors. I quickly cleaned my teeth, dropped my wet boxers, washed and dried myself off. I darted across the hall into my room and just slipped under the covers and don’t remember much until I felt the bed move.

As Laura snuggled backwards against me, she pulled my arm around her and held my hand.

“Hold me please, Tommy. You’re all I have.”

I did, I kissed the back of her head saying, “Try and sleep well,” and we both drifted off again.

Laura

Knowing that Tommy hadn’t turned his back on me was a huge relief. Knowing he was doing it because of love, not duty, made me feel a surge of happiness. I had not felt the like since before university. When we walked into his house, it finally started to hit home, that my life, as I knew, it was over.

However, there was something that wasn’t new, Tommy holding me while I cried. He had done it when I scuffed my knee when we were kids and when I broke up with my first boyfriend and everywhere in between.

I felt filthy, it was more than just the dirt of the day it was ground in dirt, under layers and layers of ground-in dirt. Dirt built up over five years of allowing someone else to use me in the most horrible ways. It was dirt that could not be cleaned with a single shower, wire brushes and acid would not touch it. The dirt would take time, patience and the love and care of people around me to wear away.

Tommy showed me around his house, reassured me and himself, before leaving me to get showered. My head was full of thoughts, about what happened at the crematorium, with my husband, with my parents. I started to cry under the shower and couldn’t stop. I lost track of time, I lost track of myself.

I vaguely remember Tommy getting me out of the shower and drying me. He took me to his room and put a top on me and tucked me into bed. He was holding me when I went to sleep but had abandoned me by the time I awoke. In a panic, I ran from the room, looking at the doors. I checked the bathroom, he wasn’t there. I opened the door to the airing cupboard, then the last door on the landing, was his room. He was there, in bed. I checked quietly, he hadn’t told me of a girlfriend, but I had not spoken to him properly for a month.

Thankfully, he was alone, facing away from the door. I walked to the far side of the bed and slipped under the duvet and moved back across the bed. When I felt him against me, I moved back a little more.

Taking his arm and holding it around me, I said, “Hold me please Tommy, you’re all I have.”

He squeezed me and kissed the back of my head and that was the last I remember until I woke up the following morning.

Tommy was still holding me in the morning, I could feel his breath on the back of my head. Moving my head a little, it felt like he had his face buried in my hair. How could I have missed all the signs? I had not felt this loved in so long, even asleep Tommy had held onto me. If my brother could be this loving, my lover should be at the very least the same. Neither my husband nor any of his friends, that I could remember, had been holding me this tight the morning after. I might have an arm over me if I was lucky.

I had to giggle to myself, there was one feeling I was familiar with, that pressure against my bum first thing. Then a panicked thought hit me, Tommy had taken me from the shower to my bed, I didn’t have any other clothes, this was his top. I felt at the front and confirmed I had no knickers on. I put my hand behind me to make sure the top was covering my bum and as I pushed down, I felt him underneath. Feeling further back, I found Tommy had nothing on.

I had pushed my top over him trapping him up against me. It made me laugh that in trying to make things better, I had made them worse. Not wanting to disturb him, I moved my bum a little away from him and lifted my top off him and tucked it down between us. What surprised me was how big he felt against the back of my hand and curiosity nearly killed the cat, I started to reach for him but stopped. Holding my top in place, I shuffled back against him again and dozed off.

Tommy

I woke up feeling someone fumbling with my cock, that someone could only be Laura, but still being in a bit of a sleep fog, I didn’t react, as perhaps I should. As the fog cleared, I started to understand what she was doing. Now I knew what she was doing, I was glad I had not reacted. If I had jumped, it may have made her feel bad or awkward.

At first, all I felt was her hand run down the length of my shaft, but it wasn’t flesh to flesh. Then she patted my hip and I heard her chuckle. Next, she moved away a little and I realised it was my t-shirt that was over my cock, as it was pulled off. Her hand brushed down the underside this time, I’m guessing pushing the t-shirt back down. After this, she didn’t move for a second and then snuggled back into me.

The trouble with waking with a morning glory is you have to use it or lose it. If you chose the latter, then you are almost certainly going to need to pee. There was no way this was getting used, at least not in the bed with Laura there. I held off and hoped, tried to get back to sleep. It wasn’t happening. I kissed Laura on the back of her head and slipped out to the toilet. We had slept well into the morning. I saw it was gone nine, so I climbed into the shower while I was in the bathroom.

After, I took a pair of clean boxers from the airing cupboard and then went to the kitchen. I cooked up an omelette for Laura, it always used to be her favourite breakfast. I poached a couple of eggs for me and cooked some toast, buttering it before putting all of this on a tray. Adding coffee, juice and condiments to the tray, I went back to my room, very carefully.

I ended up putting the tray on the floor to be able to open the door, I tapped at keyboards for a living, not juggled batons. I put a cup of coffee and a glass of juice on each bedside table. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I took Laura’s hand and stroked her face, tucking her hair behind her ears, while rousing her.

“Come on, Laura, time to wake up, time for breakfast.”

She slowly came to and as she did, I rearranged the pillows so she could sit up. When she did, she threw her arms around my neck, hugging me and kissing my cheek. She then sat back and looked at me intently, screwing up her eyes before she spoke.

“Thank you, Tommy.”

“I know and you’re welcome,” I said, patting her on the hips, where my hands had fallen when she sat back.

“I woke up twice this morning and opened my eyes and you have been there both times”

“Well, it was only because you snuck into my room last night. Looks like I might have to invest in a lock.”

As she pouted and dropped her arms away in a pretend sulk, I got up and retrieved the tray from the hall. After placing it on her lap, I pulled the covers back on the side I had slept and sat, cross-legged, at right angles to her, so that I could use the tray too.

“Tommy, you remembered,” Laura said when she saw the omelette.

“I tried to remember all the important things,” I replied with a smile and saw her eyes fill up.

After that we ate in silence, when finished I took the tray and put it on the floor out of the way. I adjusted my pillows and pulled the cover over me as I sat next to her with my coffee.

“We have a bit of an issue,” I said.

“I know, please don’t do anything that might get you arrested. I couldn’t lose you.”

I had to bite my lip to stop the laugh that was trying to escape, “Not him, this is a far bigger issue.”

Laura looked worried, her brow furrowing, “What?”

“You have a distinct lack of wardrobe and toiletries.”

“I don’t have any money either.”

When questioned further I found out that Laura had set up a separate savings account for her photoshoot income. Being freelance, she needed to do end of year taxes and it was easier to keep it apart, especially after the first year when it had been a struggle getting the money to pay her tax bill from the, supposed joint account. I made a note to ensure the paperwork from her photography and her equipment was packed, when I went to visit my bastard-in-law.

Laura

“Laura,” Tommy took my hand, “this is the last time I want money mentioned today, so I want you to just listen.”

He put his coffee down and turned a little toward me and put his hand over my mouth, which started us both laughing.

“Money is not an issue. Fuck me, I’ve got a shit ton in the bank. I work stupid amounts and get paid similarly. I don’t spend much. I don’t have a woman in my life to spend anything on. So, today, could you be that woman? We’ll go shopping and get you what you need and some of what you want. Before we go out, I’ll go online and order a credit card for you and link it into my account."

He added, “I’ve got the next couple of weeks off, with an option for one more week if I need it. So, we can use some of that to go and get your stuff and look at getting you set up for your photography down here. We can also look at maybe getting somewhere of your own.”

I had put my coffee down as I couldn’t drink it. With my free hand, I peeled his hand away, but kept hold of it, “Do you need the spare room?”

“What? No, I just thought in time you would want space of your own. There’s no rush, shit we’ve got mum and dad’s estate to sort out, so that will keep us busy. I don’t know about you, but maybe we could move into theirs, which would give us another room, but, I don’t really want to. If you want, you can have their house.”

There was no mention of me buying his half. That was Tommy. If I needed it and he could provide, he wouldn’t bat an eyelid. At that moment, I questioned how I had imagined that he would have let me out of his life. So many questions and so few answers.

“Tommy, you are so sweet, but to be honest, I wouldn’t want to move in there, either. Perhaps, if you did, then I might consider it. At the moment, I don’t want to even think about living anywhere else. If you need the room any time, I will set up on the couch.”

He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close and I lay my head on his shoulder.

“My most beautiful sister, listen very carefully. That room is yours as long as you need it, then after that for as long as you want it. If we have someone staying here, we will work something out, if you don’t mind me farting and snoring, you could crash out in here. If anyone is sleeping on the couch, it will be me, no questions. Right, now, get showered and dressed.”

Tommy gave me another quick squeeze and got up, gathered the breakfast things and left the room. I got into the shower and washed, it was when I finished I came across the first problem.

“Tommy,” I called from the door.

He came sprinting up the stairs and stopped dead in his tracks. We stared at each other for a second, made some stuttered apologies as I reached from a towel, then relaxed and smiled.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to panic you, just wondered if you had a spare toothbrush.”

“Erm, no sorry, you can use mine, if you really want. We’ll get all new stuff today.”

When I finished I shouted to Tommy that I had finished and went into the room he had given to me. Closing the door and leaning against it, I looked at what was essentially my worldly belongings and felt strangely at peace. I shouldn’t, my parents had been cremated the previous day and my marriage had died too. The only thing I had to my name, at the moment, was...