In the few weeks following my return home, my nights were filled with dreams and fantasies of my new lover. Occasionally her husband would feature in a supporting role but she and I were definitely the main characters. It got to the point where my work began to be affected, prompting a meeting with the school principal because she was concerned about me.

“I’m just having a hard time right now,” I told her. I explained about the death of one of my houseguests that week and how it was affecting me 24/7. She offered counselling and support but I told her I would work through it. I didn’t dare tell her what I was really missing.

That meeting helped snap me out of my reverie. I realized then that I would have to lead two separate lives, one as a respectable middle-school teacher, the other as a lustful lesbian, pining for her married lover.

My daily texts, emails, calls, and chats with Jenn helped a lot too. She reassured me that we would be together again soon, just as soon as she could arrange to get away. As a graphic designer of a training company, she could work from anywhere but the military project she was currently working on restricted her to being in-office at least part of the time. She told me she would visit me every few weeks if not for that.

On those nights that Kevin appeared in my fantasies, I wondered if she would ever ask me to be with him, to let him fuck me. Initially, I was disgusted by the idea, the thought of touching a man's cock revolted me but then I recalled the pleasure he had given her and began to wonder if I might be missing out on something. Jenn and I discussed sex with men in abstract terms, I was just curious how it felt to have a man inside me, to feel his power and to explore my own. I already owned several toys to help me on those lonely nights but had never inserted them, preferring to use them on the outside of my pussy to arouse me. The one vibrator I did have was very slim, much slimmer than Kevin’s thick cock, so I didn’t think it would hurt to slip it inside me.

It was Jenn’s idea. She said we should have a video call one night so we could play with ourselves, a sort of long-distance intimate relationship. Previously, I would never have dreamed of such a thing but I found myself powerless to resist her suggestions. That is what made me most nervous, I  knew that the next time I was with her and Kevin, I would let him fuck me if she asked.

I wished I had a girlfriend I could talk to about all this, not an intimate one, just a friend who would listen without judging and hold my hand while I got it out of my system. When I said as much to Jenn, she suggested I take the school up on their offer for counselling. That night, we played with ourselves during our call and I watched closely as she slipped her favourite toy, a thick clear dildo about eight inches long, into her pussy and fucked herself to orgasm. She was so beautiful to me.

Every few weeks, I would get a call or a text from Mrs Davis or the Pattersons, the family from Tennessee who had stayed with me. We kept each other up to date with the happenings in our lives and every so often I would help with homework. Then Mrs. Davis said that she would like to come visit me and that she had something very important to tell me. We agreed she would visit between Christmas and New Year's. I would be off work at the time so we could spend plenty of time together.

Just before Christmas, I received a parcel in the mail from Jenn. Inside were two packages wrapped in Christmas wrapping and a card.

I opened the card and a note fell out. The card read, “Merry Christmas my darling Ellie! I wish I could be with you! Love Jenn!” I picked up the note. “Open the green gift whenever or wherever you like but make sure you are alone when you open the red one!” Below was a flourished letter “J” with a bright red lipstick print. I tucked the red package in the drawer of my nightstand and set the green one on the table by the door. I took it to my parents’ house where I would be spending the next few days. I put the card and the note on my nightstand.

Christmas was okay at best. My mother kept after me about why I hadn’t found a good man to settle down with and give her some grandchildren. Little did she know. I missed Jenn terribly and at night, when I was alone in my old bedroom, I would text Jenn and tell her the naughty things we would do to each other when I saw her again. It was driving me crazy not knowing what her other gift was and although I tried to pry a clue out of her, all she would say was, “I think you will love it!”

When I got back to my apartment the day before Mrs Davis arrived, I grabbed the package from my nightstand and tore it open. I was shocked that it was a clear silicone dildo, about 6 inches long and of proportionate thickness. I grabbed my phone and texted Jenn, “Exactly what am I supposed to do with that?”

Her return message was a string of emojis that I had to look up to decipher. “Fuck yourself with it, of course!” was her next message. I told her I would do just that. “Call me when you do, I’ll use mine and you can use yours!”

I took a long soak in a hot bath during which I removed all my nether hair. It felt strange after ten or so years of being hairy down there and I was a little tender. After I got out and dried off, I used my phone to take a picture of my freshly shorn pussy and sent it to Jenn along with the caption, “My kitty is ready for you!”

Her reply was delayed by a half hour or so, “Sorry, we had company!” followed by, “What a cute kitty! Give me a half hour!” I laid back and fingered my clit lightly as I waited, resisting the temptation to start without her.

“I’m back! Had to suck hubby’s dick to put him to sleep! I’m all yours!”

“So vulgar!” I replied.

“Not nearly so vulgar as what I want to do with you!”

“Do tell!”

She went on to describe how she would kiss me from head to toe before teasing my clit with her fingers and tongue. “Then I will take my favourite toy and slip it inside you while I suck on your little clitty!” I moaned out loud when I read that, I could almost feel my pussy stretching to accommodate its girth.

“Do you have it with you?” I replied that I did. “Did you clean it? I cleaned it before I sent it!” again, I replied in the affirmative. “Tease your clit with it!” I did as she asked and after a moment my phone pinged again. There was a photo of an identical toy, nestled in the folds of her opening, only the tip not visible.

I replicated the view with my toy, took a photo and sent it to her in reply. Then another photo came in, the head was just inside her and her delicate fingers were holding the end of it. Again I replicated what I saw, took the photo, and sent it.

“How does it feel?” she asked.

“Pretty nice,” I replied. Then another photo came in. It showed the toy almost completely out of sight in her pussy, her fingers on the end of it holding it inside her. “Go ahead, slip it in!”

I took a deep breath and held it as I applied pressure against the toy. Slowly, it slid inside me and I could feel the stretch as my pussy opened to accommodate it. It didn’t hurt, my hymen had been broken many years before, but neither was it very comfortable. “Is it in?” she asked.

“Almost,” I replied. “It feels pretty nice!” I was becoming accustomed to the intrusion.

“Show me!” I pushed it in the rest of the way and took the photo, sending it to her. “OMG! SO fucking hot!”

I drew it out slowly and then slid it back in and this time it went in much more easily. I did that a few more times until my phone pinged again. It was a video of her hand sliding the toy in and out of her pussy with the caption, “FUCK IT! FUCK THAT WET CUNT!”

I received no more messages for a minute or so until another video came in, this time of her fingers being withdrawn from her pussy and brought up to her mouth and being sucked clean. “God that happened quickly!” came the message.

I was unable to answer because I was so highly aroused. I fucked myself slowly, relishing the stretch of the toy and the sensation of the broad head rubbing against my G-Spot each time I pulled it out and slid it back in. I took to just sliding it enough to keep constant pressure on that most magical spot and dropped my phone to get the fingers of my right hand in on the action. Soon, they were flying as I strummed my clit. My back arched involuntarily as I got closer to cumming. Then it happened, blasting through me as I came. I held the toy all the way in for a brief moment then my hand flew as I fucked myself with it for a few quick strokes. Another orgasmic peak and my hand was still as I held the toy inside me. “One more time!” I thought to myself and that was indeed enough.

I screamed and pulled the toy from inside me as my pussy gushed a long stream of viscous cum. After a few spasmodic squirts, I plunged the toy back inside me for a few more quick strokes and pulled it out again for another couple of spasms, my cum flooding my hand, thighs, bum and the sheets beneath me.

I slipped the toy back in and held it there, imagining how it must feel to have my pussy filled with a man’s hot cum. I’m sure my imagination wasn’t even close to how it felt but at that moment, with that fake cock inside me, I decided that I wanted to find out.

“OMG! I came so hard!” I texted my lover.

“Me too!” she answered. “How are you? Did it hurt?”

“A little at first but now it’s perfect! It fits inside me like it was made for my pussy!”

“Funny you should say that!” She sent a series of photos that showed a man’s cock being wrapped in some sort of plaster. It was when I recognized her wedding rings that I realized it was Kevin’s.

“You copied Kevin’s dick!” I was astounded.

“An exact replica! Now the next time we get together you know it will fit you perfectly!”

“Holy Fuck Jenn! You can’t be serious!” I texted.

“Totally serious! Glad you liked fucking my husband’s cock! I can’t wait to watch the real thing!”

I flopped back on the bed and giggled for a minute. Jenn was just full of surprises. Then I picked up my phone again. “Thank you! Best Xmas present ever!”

“You’re welcome, Baby! Ready for round two?” Was I ever!

*****

When Mrs Davis arrived, I met her at the airport. I borrowed my father’s car as I had no need for one of my own and took her to my small apartment. We had dinner and then went for a short walk before returning for the night.

“Before we go to bed, I have something to show you,” she said. She went to her suitcase and extracted an envelope. Handing it over, she said to read it.

Inside was a letter from her lawyer, addressed to me, saying that I had been included in her husband’s will. He wanted to thank me for my generosity and kindness when I took them in and, being unable to find any other way, he included a cheque for $50,000. US dollars at that, which equated to about $65,000 in my country’s currency. That amount would wipe out my student debt and most of the other debt I had, freeing me up to start saving to buy a house.

“I can’t accept this,” I said after rereading the letter and looking at the cheque.

“I insist,” she replied. “Let me tell you a story.”

“When we came to stay with you, we were returning from visiting Europe. It was a bucket-list trip for us and we had a wonderful time. But when we got ready to go home, my husband became sad. You see, that was the last item on his bucket list and he was resigning himself to living out his days with nothing to look forward to. He knew he was sick but he didn’t know how bad it was, which added to his sadness. Then you came into our lives.

She reached out and held my hand, “He was infatuated with you, not in a romantic way, but just as a friendly young woman who showed us all such kindness. You gave him hope that someone like you was helping to guide future generations. He wanted to thank you and this was the only way he knew how.”

I became overwhelmed with sadness mixed with gratitude. I protested again that I couldn’t accept, perhaps there was some charity the money could help or some other family member.

“We only have one son, as you know, and his wife is a proper bitch. I hate her the way she parades herself around like she’s better than everyone else. Their children are well looked after but I don’t want her to get her grubby mitts on a single dime more than she already has.” She squeezed my hand again, “This was what he wanted. He told me before he died that if he had a daughter, he wished she could be just like you. He wanted you to have it. Please, take it.”

I immediately thought back to that night I had shared in the hotel with Jenn and Kevin. I was pretty sure that if he knew about what went on that night, he would think differently “I’m not sure that if he really knew me, he would want that,” I said.

“Why, because you’re gay? He knew that, we both did,” she said.

I was shocked. I had never told them anything about my preferences, never so much as mentioned it. “How did you know?”

“We saw the way you looked at Jenn when we were all here together. We just knew. Then, when you came to the funeral, what I saw confirmed it.” She smiled at me and her eyes twinkled. “I’m not so old that I don’t remember what it’s like to want someone that way. You might be surprised at some of the things he and I talked about when we were younger!”

“That’s really none of my business!” I protested.

“No, dear, it isn’t, just as what you do in your bedroom is none of mine. But let me just say this, if you feel that way about her, tell her. Don’t do what I did, do not let the opportunity pass. If you do, you will always wonder, ‘what if?’.

“Did you ever wonder ‘what if?’ Mrs Davis?” I asked.

“I did, and I regretted it my whole life,” she said.

“Thank you for telling me, you have helped me more than you know,” I said. I stood up and hugged her, “I will accept the money, it will change my life!”

“Hal will be so pleased when I tell him!” she smiled.

“Do you still miss him?” I asked.

“Of course I do,” she said. “I miss him every day. I miss him more at night!” She raised her eyebrows.

“Really?” I said, a little stunned that she would share that information.

She held her hands about eight inches apart, “Every night! Including when we stayed with you!”

“Mrs Davis! You naughty girl!” I exclaimed.

She shook her finger at me, “Sweetheart, there is nothing naughty about what happens between two people who love each other, remember that!”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing!” she said with a sly wink. “I’m tired, good night dear.” We hugged and she turned to go to my bedroom. I made up the couch and settled in. After that conversation, I was glad that I’d taken the time to remove all evidence of my toys and things from my room. Still, as I drifted off, I could hear her moaning softly and calling her husband’s name. “Seventy-one years old and she’s still got it!” I thought with a smile as I turned over.

The rest of Mrs Davis’s visit passed with no more mention of the more titillating details of her past. We went to museums and art galleries, had dinner at my parents’ house, and just enjoyed each other’s company. When I dropped her at the airport, we stopped before she went through security.

“Tell Jenn how you feel,” she said quietly. “Take the chance or you will regret it for the rest of your life!”

“I will, Mrs. Davis,” I promised her. She thanked me for having her and we promised to keep in touch.

“If I were forty years younger!” she sighed. Just as she turned the corner to enter the security area, she turned and blew me a kiss.

During my phone call with Jenn that night, I told her everything that the older woman had told me. Each description was met with a “Holy shit!” from the other end of the line. “Wow! I wouldn’t in a million years thought that she had a naughty side!” Jenn said after I finished telling the tale.

“She told me that anything that happens between two people who love each other is never naughty,” I said.

“What about between three people? Or four?” asked Jenn.

“As long as they love each other, I guess not,” I replied.

“So do you think what we did was naughty?” she asked.

“Some of it was, but most of it wasn’t,” I answered.

“Oh? Which were the naughty bits?” So many questions tonight!

“The bits we did with Kevin,” I said. “I’m not in love with Kevin.”

There was a pause on the line and I heard Jenn's breath catch, “Oh, wow! That’s big! Saying ‘I love you’ is so much less than saying ‘I’m in love with you’!”

“I feel how I feel,” I said. “It was something that Mrs Davis said. She told me to tell you how I feel or I might regret not saying it the way she did. So, I’m telling you. I hope I don’t regret it.”

She paused for a few minutes, “Will you be upset if I don’t say the same thing?”

“If that’s how you feel, no,” I answered. “Maybe you’re not there yet. Promise me one thing though.”

“What’s that?”

“If you do start to feel that way, you’ll tell me. And if you tell me you have to mean it,” I said. I was as nervous as I had ever been, this was a turning point in our relationship and I hoped I didn’t just fuck it up.

“That’s two things,” she teased as she giggled. “Yes, I promise on both.”

“Jenn? You know how we said we’d both fuck your husband again tonight?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Let’s just be you and me tonight, okay?”

“I was just thinking the same thing!”

*****

I was invited out on New Year’s Eve to the home of a co-worker. I really didn’t feel much like celebrating without Jenn there but she told me I should go and have fun and forget about her for one night. Like that was going to happen!

I have to admit, the party was a good time and for a while, although she was never far from it, Jenn wasn’t at the front of my mind. That’s why I was surprised shortly before midnight my phone buzzed in my pocket. I looked to see her smiling face and my heart jumped!

“Hi!” I said breathlessly after sneaking around a corner.

“Hi, Sweetie!” she said. “Just wanted to give you a quick shout to wish you a Happy New Year!”

“Happy New Year, Baby!” I replied. “I hope next year is as good as this year was!”

“Me too! I gotta run! Call me tomorrow?”

“You know it! I miss you!”

“Miss you too, Sweetie! Luv You!”

“I love you too!” I said to a dead line. She was gone before she could hear my last words.

“There you are! I've been looking for you!” said our hostess, pressing a flute of champagne into my hand. “Come on, it’s almost midnight!” I rejoined the crowd in the living room just as the countdown began. Everyone around me seemed happy and excited but I just felt sad. The person I most wanted to be with was a thousand miles away.

The cheers broke me from my reverie. Hugs and kisses were happening all around me but there was no one there I wanted to hug, I certainly didn’t want to kiss anyone. I found myself with, Gloria, a fellow teacher’s arms around me and I felt obliged to hug back. She stepped back and held my hand, “Are you okay?”

I was on the verge of crying so I shook my head no. “Oh, Sweetheart, let me get you out of here and we can talk about it if you like.” She led me to the back of the house to a small pantry off the kitchen. Once there, she sat me on a stool and sat on another one across from me. “What’s the matter?”

“I miss my best friend, that’s all,” I said.

“They must be very special to put you in such a state,” Gloria said.

“She’s the most special person in the world,” I lamented.

“Ah, I always wondered about you,” she said.

“Wondered what?” I asked.

“Wondered which team you played for,” she said.

“Oh,” I said.

“Do I know her?” she asked.

“No. Remember I told you about the people I hosted at my parents’ place after 9/11? She was one of my houseguests,” I told her.

“And now she’s more than a houseguest, I take it.” She pulled my head into her shoulder and hugged me. “I get it, Sweetie, I really do.” She kissed my cheek. “It’s a shame you are already taken.” Her eyes met mine and then she leaned forward and our lips met.

“I can’t!” I said as I broke away from her. “Look, I’m flattered, I really am but I just can’t!”

“I understand,” she said. She hugged me again and kissed my cheek, “You won’t tell anyone about me, will you?”

“I won’t I promise,” I said. “And you won’t either?”

 She made a cross over her heart, “Your secret is safe with me.”

She tried to coax me back out to the party but I just wasn’t in the mood. I made my excuse to my hosts, thanked them for a fun evening, got my coat, and left.

As I walked home I could hear partying going on all around me, fireworks were being lit and a few shotguns rang out in the distance. There are still plenty of rednecks no matter where you go I guess.

It was only about a ten-minute walk home. As soon as I got my coat off I texted Jenn. “We need to talk!” the guilt at having let Gloria kiss me was crushing me.

“We just talked!” she replied.

“Something happened!”

“Okay. 10 minutes?” I returned a thumbs up and used the time to get ready for bed. I was just finished brushing my teeth when my phone rang.

“Hi!”

“What’s wrong? What happened?” she asked.

I told her about how I was sad and a co-worker tried to console me and make me feel better. “I didn’t lead her on or anything! She just kissed me out of the blue!”

“Kissed you how?” Jenn asked. She didn’t sound the least bit angry, just concerned.

“Like on the lips. Very gently. I didn’t kiss her back!”

“So what if you did?” she giggled. “Look, it’s New Year’s. Everybody’s had a few, shit happens!”

“You’re not mad?” I asked.

“Why would I be mad? Unless it meant something!” Something in her voice told me she was teasing me but I was too upset to pick up on it.

“Goodness no! It didn’t!”

“Well then forget about it. In about ten minutes, the clock here is going to turn midnight and I’ll probably end up kissing half the people here. It’s just a New Year’s thing. Don’t worry about it!”

“If you’re sure,” I said.

“I am sure. Listen to me! I love you and one innocent little kiss can’t change that!” I felt better now that I knew she wasn’t mad. “Look, I have to go! Text me when you get up. Kevin’s going to be watching football all day, how about you and I have some special time to ourselves?”

“I can’t wait!” I said.

“You don’t have to wait. Have a little fun with yourself! Happy New Year!” and again she was gone. I guess that was the difference between loving someone and being in love with them.

New Year’s Day dawned cool and damp with a brisk northeast wind and rain spattering against the windows. A great day to stay inside and think about the events of the past few months.

My parents were hosting a levee at their house starting at noon but I really didn’t feel much like being around people. The one person I wanted to be with was still a thousand miles away. I called my mom to tell her I wouldn’t be going. She tried to persuade me but I just wasn’t in the mood.

Then I texted Jenn to tell her I was up. There was no reply for over an hour so I texted her again. I hoped she was just having a lie-in after a night of partying. A half-hour later she replied.

“OMG, what a night!”

“What happened?”

“Can’t tell you by text, I’ll call you later! Luv U!”

That didn’t put my mind at ease at all. My head spun with all things I thought Jenn might refer to as a great night. I started cleaning to take my mind off it but it didn’t help. By the time she called I was a ball of nerves.

“Hi, Baby! How are you?” I answered.

“Not one 100 percent. Somebody thought it would be a great idea to ring in the new year with tequila shots. It was not a good idea!” she replied.

“So you’re okay then?”

“I’m fine. Not sure about Kevin. I don’t know where he is, to be honest. He’s not at home and he’s not answering his phone. Last I saw him he was with a bunch of guys doing shots and ignoring me. After about an hour of that, I decided to just leave him there! Not a great start to the year for him and me, I have to say!”

“I’m sorry, Sweetie. I wish I was there with you.!”

“Me too, but I’m okay. I made a new friend last night, she’s here with me. Say hi Kim!”

“Hi-eeee!” I heard from the background.

“New friend?” I asked.

“Yeah, we should probably talk about that,” she said.

“Oh, no,” I said, suddenly despondent.

“It’s nothing like that!” she said. “It almost was, I mean we were really close but then I stopped her. I told her about you, about us and she totally understood.”

“So nothing happened then?” I asked.

“Something happened, but we didn’t have sex. Well, not with each other anyway.  We kissed a lot but we didn’t do it. When I was telling her about you, I told her how we’re trying to keep the spark alive long distance, you know with our toys and stuff. Before I knew it we were watching each other play with ourselves. It was pretty hot but We didn’t actually do anything with each other.”

I heard Kim’s voice in the background, “Let me talk to her!” I heard the phone fumble then a different voice came on the line.

“Hi, Ellie, I’m Kim. Everything Jenn is telling you is true. I did want to be with her last night and I thought she wanted to be with me. We started out kissing but when I tried to go further she stopped me cold. She just couldn’t go through with it even though you would never find out. She loves you too much to cheat on you! You are a very lucky girl!”

“Oh,” was all I could manage, I didn’t know what else to say.

“Listen, now that I know what you have together, I would never try to come between you. As for what did happen, she was describing how you two have phone sex and video chats and I asked her to show me her toys. From there, things just took on a life of their own and we watched each other masturbate. Do you have any idea how beautiful she looks when she comes?”

“I do, as it happens,” I said. I wasn’t pleased about what had happened but my spirits were lifted to hear that Jenn couldn’t go through with it. “She is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!”

“Well, she feels the same way about you! You should see her face when she talks about you, she might not admit it but she is head over heels in love with you. To be honest, I’m a little jealous!”

Those were the words I had been hoping to hear, I just hoped I’d hear them from Jenn and not some stranger. “Really? She said that?”

“She didn’t say it but it is obvious to anyone who is paying attention.”

“Put me on speaker, please,” I said.

“Hi, Baby, are we okay?” I heard Jenn say.

“Say it,” I commanded her. She hesitated so I continued. “Remember the promise we made? If it’s true then say it. Please, Jenn, I have to know!”

She hesitated for a moment and then she said it. “Yes Ellie, I am 100 percent head over heels in love with you!”

I started to cry but held my emotions. “Take me off speaker.”

“Okay, you’re off speaker,” Jenn said.

“Do you want to be with her?” I asked. “Tell me the truth, do you want to have sex with her?”

“If you weren’t in the picture, I definitely would,” she replied. “You should see her, she’s gorgeous!”

“Then here’s the deal. I want you to be with her, make love to her and pretend it’s me. Let her make love to you and pretend it’s me. The only thing I ask for is before she leaves, to take a picture of you two together, preferably naked but I understand if she doesn’t want to do that. Then call me after she’s gone and tell me all about it. Can you do that?”

“Maybe, I don’t know,” she said.

“Put Kim back on the phone please.” When she came on the line, I continued, “Kim, I just told Jenn that if she wants to be with you, she could. It’s not about me giving permission, it’s about me not wanting to deny her anything she wants. Make love to her, make her moan and scream and cum and squirt. Lick her clean and make her cum some more! Then leave so she can call me and tell me all about it!”

“I can do that!” Kim said. “I gotta say, this is new to me! I’ve never had a person ask me to fuck the person they love like that.”

“It’s new to me too, that’s why I want you to do it. I need to know if I can be okay with Jenn seeing other people. If I can’t better I know now than later.”

“Before you’re in too deep to get out, I get it,” Kim said.

“I’m already in too deep,” I said. “Would you be okay with her sending me a picture of you together?”

“Absolutely!” she replied. “I think you’ll find I am very photogenic!”

“Okay, can I talk to Jenn again? Then I’ll let you get to it.” She handed the phone over and I heard Jenn’s voice again. “Have fun! Call me later, I want all the details!”

“I love you, Ellie, you know that right?”

“I love you too, Jenn. Nothing that happens today will change that. Now go have some mind-blowing sex!”

Okay,” she whispered and she was gone.