I was woken by the sensation of someone’s tongue on the tip of my penis.

“Oh, Gemma. That’s fantastic.”

She looked up at me and her eyes smiled.

“Can I stop you for a second?”

“What’s wrong, Tony?”

“Oh, believe me, nothing’s wrong.”

She sat up on her knees. I reached for one of her perfect pink nipples.

“Why have you stopped me?”

“Have you ever given a guy oral?”

“No.”

“Where did you learn how to do it?”

“One of the girls in work showed us all.”

“Let me guess. She showed you by using either her finger or a banana, am I right?”

“A banana. Quite a big one.”

“Size isn’t everything.”

“Oh, I know. Big boy.”

I laughed and she kissed me.

“How many of you were there?”

“All of the female staff, about 35 I’d say.”

“Did any of them ever mention what results they got?”

“Now that you mention it, no, not to me anyway.”

“Ok, do you mind if I show you?”

“Oh no, not at all. Please do.”

She held the base in her hand as I identified the various components of my penis as she stared at it and nodded her head.

“The Head, or Glans, is the most sensitive part and must be treated kindly, with love and respect.”

She was wide eyed as she listened and she nodded her head.

“The Eye or opening, at the tip is called the Meatus. This is where sperm, or semen, comes out. You can see some clear fluid appearing now. That’s a preliminary to the arrival of sperm and appears as arousal begins. Most woman lick this off. It’s low in fat and high in protein, perfect for the diet conscious among us.”

She licked it off.

“The part you’re holding is called the Shaft, or Body and that curved edge at the bottom of the head is the Corona.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“In certain books, media and films they desire for the woman to take the entire length of the penis into her mouth. Some of the longer ones fit by using a method called Deep Throating, this is not for beginners, Gemma, but like everything else, personal preference is the key. I like it slow, using your lips and tongue only on the Glans. This is more comfortable for the woman. It’s no harm to take it all in the odd time but the aim is to stimulate and tease and not necessarily to the get the man to orgasm. If the man ejaculates you have a couple of choices. You can take it in your mouth and swallow it or spit it out, or you can have him ejaculate on you body somewhere, or you can keep a sheet of tissue handy.”

“I got it, Tony. How do I know what to do with the sperm?”

“Usually, the man will give you advance warning and you make the decision. If not and you don’t want it in your mouth you’ll feel the body of the penis beginning to pulse. One more important thing to remember is to keep your teeth away from the head at all costs. It’s quite uncomfortable to many of us.”

“Thanks, Tony. I think I’ll try swallowing this time.”

She returned to her position and proceeded to execute, pretty much, the perfect blow job. She finished with a flourish and swallowed it down. She blew my mind and left me drained as she came and snuggled into me.

“Like that?”

“Exactly like that, Gemma. That was amazing.”

“I enjoyed doing that and it tastes quite nice.”

“Low in fat, too.”

“Let’s not forget that.” She smiled.

We fell asleep again and the clatter of pots and chinaware woke me a couple of hours later. I got out of bed, Gemma was in the kitchen, naked.

“I don’t know about you, Tony, but I needed a shower and I’m starving. Scrambled eggs on toast?”

“You’re a wise and wonderful woman, Gemma.”

I stood behind her and played with the soft dark hair of her landing strip as she wriggled about in my arms.

“If I take a shower, would you like to try a 69? Unless you’ve had one and didn’t enjoy it.”

“I’ve never tried it. I was always too shy, but it’s different with you.”

“How so?”

“You’re gentle and kind. I trust you, I suppose. I must be the most innocent twenty five year old you’ve ever met.”

“There are people far older who are just as innocent, Gemma.”

I kissed her and went for a shower. When I came out, Gemma was in the living room with a vacuum cleaner. She switched it off when I walked in.

“Everything ok, Gemma?”

She took four steps over to me and kissed me.

“Everything is perfect, Tony.”

“Nice action on the vacuum cleaner.”

“Yes, I get plenty of practice.”

“I love your apron. It’s Orla Kiely, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Give us a twirl, then.”

“No. I’ve a little surprise in there for you.”

“I like surprises. What do I have to kill to get it?”

“Nothing. You just need to go and lie down on my bed. I’ve changed the sheets.”

“Do I need this towel around me?”

“Naked would be better.”

I got rid of the towel and went to lie on the bed. Gemma followed me in.

“I got a joke gift from the girls in work at Christmas. They call me the perpetual virgin.”

There was an uncertainty in her eyes. I rose and went to her.

“What is it, love?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Tony. I’m such a fool. This weekend has given me so much but I get dragged down by one or two bitches in work.”

“The same bitches that can only blow a banana?”

She laughed.

“Tell me.”

“Well they gave me something that is actually quite nice, and would look great on Kate Moss, but I try it on and it dies. This was a bad idea.”

“What was?”

“I was going to do a big reveal to turn you on and then ravish you.”

“This sounds interesting.”

She laughed.

“It was a nice thought, but the more I think about it, I fear it’ll turn you off me and that would kill me.”

“Can I ask a question?”

“Yes.”

“Why did you change the bedding?”

“What? It needed to be changed.”

“Why?”

“Well they were in a state after last night and this morning.”

“Why?”

“Well we, eh, had a lot of sex and there was, eh, stains on them.”

“A lot of stains?”

“There was very little of them not stained.”

“Who stained them.”

“We did.”

“Yes we did. I would think the greater percentage was you, Gemma.”

“Well, eh, yes.”

“Which was generated during about eight to ten hours of passionate, loving, special lovemaking. With two active and engaged participants.”

“Yes, but,”

“What I’m trying to say is I find you a sexy, beautiful, sexy, alluring, sexy woman and the proof was on those sheets.”

“You don’t have to…”

“Gemma, I’m serious now, you’ve given me possibly the best blow job I’ve ever had in my life, simply because you care enough to do it the best way you can. None of those other bitches in your job have ever had ten hours of lovemaking. Do you know how many orgasms you had?”

“Fifteen.”

“That was quick.”

She laughed.

“I loved every one of them.”

“I did to. At the tea break tomorrow, mention that you met this guy, a sex machine, or an expert in orgasms. You’ll know what to say. Then just clam up as if you’ve said too much.”

She giggled

“They’ll be shocked, Tony.”

“They’ll be pissed off, because I bet you any money that you are the only one to have an orgasm this weekend. In fact, I’d doubt the greater percentage of them have ever reached orgasm in their lives.”

She perked up then.

“Now, I’m going to lie down on the bed and you’re going to do what you’ve wanted to do since you got that gift, whatever happens after that will be your fault.”

“Ok. I’ll come in again,” she said, as she retreated from the room backwards.

A few seconds later she walked confidently into the room with a mysterious smile on her face. She approached the bed and cupped my scrotum as she bent to kiss me. I felt an immediate twitch. She stood and untied the string that was tied behind her waist and the apron billowed outward as she raised her arms and lifted the apron over her head and dropped it on the floor. All that was left was a tiny gold lace thong which hid nothing as it was almost see-through. I sat up on the bed and reached for her. She slapped my hands away.

“My game, my rules. Lie down.”

She came to me and kissed me sweetly.

“How do I look?”

“I’m speechless. You’re stunning.”

“Would you like to touch my thong?”

“I’ll give you my van if you let me.”

She burst out laughing.

“You fucker.”

“Gemma, please. Look what you’re doing to me.”

She looked down at my hugely erect penis.

“Do you want to touch my thong?”

“Yes please.”

“Ok then,” she whispered as she reached for my penis, “have fun,” and she bent over and took me in her mouth.

She kneeled on the bed beside me as her lips took me in. I let my hand experience the wonder of her thong. It was one of the best ones I had seen. There was nothing to it, but it evoked an erotic vision. I lifted her knee over my head and slipped the garment from her. At my touch to the top of her cleft, she lowered her hips so my lips could access her vulva. We were so aroused that all it took was the touch of my tongue to her clitoris for her to emit a muffled scream as her body rocked in ecstatic convulsions. Her lips and tongue brought me with her as my climax found its home in her mouth. She rested her head on the bed cover as we regained control of our limbs before throwing herself into my arms as she sobbed with relief on my chest. After about thirty minutes I had regained enough strength to say, “you’re gonna have to tell those bitches that their gift lasted less than thirty seconds. You’ll need a replacement in white or pink.”

She exploded with laughter and we cuddled until we fell asleep. It was still dark when I woke. Gemma slept on her side, facing me. She looked peaceful. I moved slightly so I could see her better and her eyelids fluttered open.

“Hi,” she said, in a little girls voice.

“Hi, beautiful.”

She smiled and reached for me. We kissed.

“What time is it, Tony?”

“A little before 6:00.”

“Shit,”

“What?”

“Back to reality,“ she said, “work awaits.”

“Yes, same here.”

“It was a beautiful weekend, though.”

“Yes. Can I see you again?”

“You’d better!” she laughed.

“I’m thinking Wednesday night. How about I take you out?”

“On a date?”

“Of course.”

“I’d love that. What are you thinking?”

“I don’t know. What would you like?”

“Hmm, let me think. You know what?”

“What?”

“There’s a couple of bars here in the vicinity that I frequent occasionally. There’s food as well. You could call it my local. Everyone knows me.”

“Sounds good.”

“Let’s do something like that. I want to show you off, you handsome devil.”

“Does that make me a trophy stud?”

“No nothing like that, Tony. It makes me happy.”

“I suppose we could come back here for a cup of tea.”

“Just tea?”

“Well. I’d hope you’d give me a biscuit too.”

“What biscuits do you like.”

“I like little crackers.”

“That could mean one of many things.”

“I know.”

“Jesus, it’s 6:00 in the morning and I want you inside me. You are such a tease.”

“Just kiss me and let me get you ready for work,” I whispered, as my finger teased the wetness of her vagina gently.

“Oh, Tony, yes. Please.”

We went our separate ways with a kiss and a lightness of heart. I let myself into the office and it was quiet, being so early.

“You’re early, for once,” Peter Smith greeted me, as he walked down the stairs into the hall.

“Yeah, traffic,” I said with a grin.

“Dressed the same as Saturday night?”

“I read Steve Jobs’ book. He wears the same clothes every day, has a wardrobe full of them,”

“You drive a fucking van.”

“What’s your point?”

“You know what my point is. Canteen. Now!”

I followed him down to the canteen.

“Ok, tell me about Saturday in the Baggot,” he said.

“What about it?”

“That bird you were with, for starters.”

“Gemma?”

“Is that her name? Gemma?”

“Yes, why?”

“I tried her up once. She told me her name was Chantal, she blew me off.”

“Lucky you.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do. You were lucky,” I said.

“How do you make that out?”

“She only learned how to blow someone on Sunday morning.”

“Bastard. How was she?”

“Peter, I’ve said too much already. She’s a nice girl and I’m seeing her again.”

“You come across as this innocent, butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, little virgin. I saw you in action on Saturday night. I was there. It was like watching a movie.”

“Ah, come off it, Peter, I just kissed her.”

“I saw that. In fact I was chatting to four birds when I spotted you. The reason I spotted you was because they were all salivating as THEY watched you.”

“Is that all people have to do on a night out?”

“Women do, Tony. They also remember and they talk to other women.”

“You need to get a grip on reality.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“I don’t believe I’m still here listening to you.”

“Ok, here’s an idea. You come up there tonight and we’ll have a quiet drink. See if any women stop by unbidden.”

“I’d love to, but I’m otherwise engaged tonight.”

“Oh, Gemma?”

“No.”

“Who?”

“Nobody said it was a who.”

He was about to respond when, Natalie, our receptionist, walked in looking very upset. Peter had the hots for Natalie because she was astonishingly beautiful. Unfortunately he chose a very creepy way to approach her which turned even me off. She was at the sink, running a tap. Peter looked at me. I went to her and touched her shoulder gently,

“Natalie, are you ok?”

She burst out crying and threw her arms around me. I saw Peter behind her mouthing, “awh, for fuck sake”. He was a prick, the girl was really upset.

“Natalie, what’s happened?”

“Oh, Tony,” she said, “I just heard that Alison was fired.”

Both Peter and I were stunned. It was a bolt from the blue.

“Have you spoken to her?”

She shook her head.

“Her phone is off.”

“Keep trying, will you? Let me know the minute you hear something”

She left the room.

“Did you hear anything about this, Peter?”

“Fuck, no. Who’s gonna do our IT stuff?”

I figured that, if it was true, she must have been caught doing things she shouldn’t have been doing. Knowing her, nothing was beyond a possibility.

“I’m sure they’ll get someone in soon enough.”

Peter held out his phone. I looked at him,

“What am I looking at?”

“Email from admin.”

To All Staff

We wish to advise that, following a root and branch exploration of interdepartmental policies and budgetary restraints, we have been forced to close our IT Department. This had made the position of our current IT technician extraneous to the company and her employment has been terminated with immediate effect.

A new IT policy will be implemented utilising the services of an external provider. All IT requirements will be met on a two day per week basis and administered at reception by our office receptionist.

We will revert with other updates soon.

“Fuck me,” Peter said.

“I know, first I get demoted and now Ali gets the bullet.” I said. “Who’s next?”

“Were you fucking her?”

“Give me strength.” I said and left him alone.

We didn’t see any of the hierarchy around the office for the rest of the day. I ran out of work a little after lunch so I decided to replenish our stock of calligraphy supplies in Hacketts, just around the corner in Baggot Street. On my way back I met Natalie, who took a late lunch in O’Donoghue’s Pub. She was still upset about Ali.

“Natalie, Ali will be fine, she’s made of steel.”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s not fair.”

“I know, but you need to calm down in case you say something you mean.”

“Why don’t you say something to Cadden? You’re his little pet.”

“It’s none of my business.”

“You’re her friend.”

“We’re workmates, Natalie, nothing more. What did you have for lunch?”

“I just had a pint and a sandwich.”

“Ok, come in here with me,” I took her hand and we went into a shop close by. I got her a packet of mints and a coffee.

“Here, drink this and pop a mint in your mouth, in case someone smells the pint on your breath. You know they frown on us having a pint during working hours.”

“Yeah. I don’t know what I was thinking, Tony.”

She took a drink from the coffee and brought it back to the office and she took a couple of the mints as she returned to her desk. She was somewhat calmer.

At 5:05 I buzzed Lillian’s intercom. She let me in and I ran up the stairs. Her apartment door was ajar so I knocked lightly and she called me in.

“Hi Tony, did you have a good day at work?”

I told her about Ali but she didn’t seem all that interested.

“How did Saturday night’s adventure pan out for you?”

I told her about my weekend. She took my hand.

“You have nothing to worry about, my dear boy. You have a good heart. Sometimes, in fact, the greater of the percentage of times, you will be taken advantage of. Everyone is, by both women and men.”

“Yes, I’ve seen that, Lillian. How do I stop it happening?”

“You can only try, Tony. Unfortunately, it’s only with hindsight that you see it on many occasions. Take the hit and store it away inside. Don’t let it consume you. Learn from it and live your life as best you can.”

“I know, but it’s painful and confusing.”

“It very much is. My advice is not to let it colour your view of yourself or your heart. Part of your attraction is that you place your heart on the line without fear. This, Gemma, girl seems to be a genuinely lovely girl and you speak fondly of her. If you didn’t take the chance, you wouldn’t have even met her. Even she, though, has the potential to wound you. We never really know.”

She took me in her arms and kissed me.

“Whether or not anything longer term happens with her, you need to focus on the good inside her and move on or not. You’ve given her a part of yourself that will remain an important part of her life forever. She’s given you an important glimpse into the positive emotional part of yourself. That’s as good a trade as anyone can have.”

“How do I know when that wanes?”

“You’ll sense it. With girls like Gemma, the allure always remains. At some point ambitions separate and you may not wish to live in the world that her mind has constructed. Her perfect world and vice versa. At that point, a parting of the ways is inevitable, and you must be strong and end it, kindly and gently. She’s not stupid, Tony, she’s six years older than you. But you are a thousand years older than her intellectually and emotionally. You’ve given her the best education and support that any girl could ever need this past weekend. She’ll be confident among her peers, she’ll walk with a jaunty step and it’s all because of you.”

“I know, but they’re not all like that, Lillian.”

“No, they aren’t. Some will have a hidden agenda, some will just want a one night fling. Some will want to pursue a relationship. You won’t realise this, in many instances, until it’s happened. You’re intelligent enough to have spotted what Danielle and Alison wanted. That, in itself, is a lesson that nobody can teach you. Your soul is very deep but you retain the wisdom of youth, the veneer of innocence, of humour and fun. Don’t bury that part of you. Keep it on display, live your life, play the field and whatever will be, will be.”

“Que Sera.”

“Sera. Give me a hug, you wonderful boy in a man’s body. This was a valuable lesson. Are you ok with it?”

“I’m great, Lillian, thanks. So what are we doing tonight?”

“Well, I think that there’s not much more I can give you. From my experience and listening to what you tell me, it would appear as though you’re pretty much where you need to be. There are a couple of things we can work on, but they’re not everyone’s cup of tea.”

“Such as?”

“Anal sex, BDSM, the dark arts, as I call them.”

“I’ve researched that and it’s not something I want to do, Lillian.”

“That’s fine. Just remember, though, many women love anal sex. I’m not one of them, but sometimes one gets pressured into things to please a partner.”

“Have you ever had it?”

“Yes and I didn’t enjoy it. I felt degraded. It didn’t fit into what I wanted from a romantic ideal. Look, I’m not a prude, as you well know. The act of anal stimulation is very erotic. I do enjoy that, giving and receiving, but it’s not for everyone. It can be used during love making to enhance the level and depth of orgasm and I’ve used that myself. We can try it at that level using fingers and tongue without penetration. I think it might be worth the experience while we’re here.”

“Maybe not this evening. I need to think about it, Lillian. Do a bit of research. Can I think about it first?”

“Please do. I’m here until Saturday morning and we have one thing to set up for Thursday or Friday evening. Your ‘graduation’, for want of a better name.”

“Ok. I’ll give you a call later or tomorrow.”

“Good. This was a very productive hour, Tony. Think about anal stimulation. I’d like to try it with you as part of a final session before your graduation. Either way, we should have it tomorrow evening, anal play or not, to assess your readiness for the last hurdle.”

“Thanks, Lillian. I’ll see you a little after 5:00 tomorrow.”

She kissed me and I left for home. I was sitting in traffic listening to some music when my phone rang. Jack McKnight.

“Hey, Jackie, what’s the story?”

“Alright, Anto? I just wanted to touch base. Thanks for looking after Gemma on Saturday. She’s delighted.”

“She told you that?”

“Fuck, no. She told Sandra and Sandra told me. I think I’m gonna get the good stuff tonight because of it.”

I laughed. Everyone wants the excitement of the good stuff.

“My pleasure entirely. Gemma’s great.”

“Yeah. Anyway I just wanted to let you know. By the way, who made you the professor of blow jobs?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Fuck off! She told Sandra that you gave her a lesson and she literally blew you away.”

“Ah, come on, Jackie. That’s not right.”

“What? Gemma told Sandra.”

“Well let Sandra tell you. I don’t do that, Jackie. I wouldn’t be able to look her in the eye again.”

“I understand. Thanks, though, Anto. Seriously, you don’t know what you’ve done for the three of us. I owe you.”

“Anytime, Anto. If you’ve any other beautiful women you want me to straighten out for you, just give me a bell. I’ll try to get over my revulsion just for you.”

“Ok. On that note I’ll be fucking off about now. All the best.”

I hung up. Almost immediately the phone rang again. Smithser.

“Am I interrupting your debauched lifestyle?”

“Not at all,” I said.

“Whose legs are you between?”

“I’m sitting in traffic on Stephen’s Green. I lead a very exciting life.”

“Yes. Turn around and come up to the house. My Mam made a chicken.”

“Out of what?”

“She cooked a fucking chicken. She wants to meet you.”

“Why?”

“Fucked if I know. Are you coming or not?”

“Text me the address, I’ll turn around.”

“We’ll go for a pint afterwards.”

“Your experiment?”

“Maybe.”

“This’ll be interesting. Will I bring a bottle of wine or something?”

“Do Coolock people always have wine with chicken?”

“No, potatoes, mostly, or in a basket with chips. Coq au Vin is quite popular too, chicken en croute, Chicken Supreme a la Crème … ” I was talking to myself, he’d hung up.

I turned right onto Lower Baggot Street. I followed the directions from his text to Eastmoreland Place and parked outside. I knocked on the door. It was opened by a lady with kind, smiling eyes. She was the picture of Smithser.

“Hi, Mrs Smith, Peter ordered me to call in.”

“Ah, you’re, Tony. Come in, come in. Welcome,” she said, ushering me inside.

I followed her into a compact room full of bric a brac and curios. I handed her a little gift of Butlers Chocolates and she sat me down in a soft armchair.

“You shouldn’t have brought me anything, Tony, but thank you very much. Let me give you a hug.”

I stood up again and she pulled me in to her and made me feel loved. It was wonderful and I fell in love with her immediately.

“Mother! I know you like them young, but Tony doesn’t even shave yet. Put him down. Everyone will think you’re a priest.”

“I like to hug a handsome boy of a Monday evening, Peter. Did you not bring him here for me to play with?”

She winked at me. Peter broke down laughing and kissed her. Anyone could see they loved each other.

“Thank you, again, for the gift, Tony. You’re a very thoughtful boy. Unlike some.”

“That’s nice!” Peter said, “I only bought you a new broom last Hallowe’en. You might use it once in a while.”

“It doesn’t work, pet.”

“It might need to be reprogrammed, Mrs. Smith. Peter is allergic to work.”

“He certainly is, but he’s a good boy on occasion and, Tony, my name is Ellen. Mrs Smith was my mother in law.”

“I will, Ellen, thank you.”

We had dinner and there was a lot of banter mixed with memories, laughter and even a tear or two. The food was beautiful, Ellen had been a trained Cordon Bleu chef and worked at the Savoy in London before she met Peter’s dad, a stockbroker in the City of London, and settled back home in Dublin. Peter had a married sister who lived in the UK and she had three little boys aged four to nine. Ellen proudly showed me their pictures and they all had a resemblance to her.

“Someday, my Peter will present me with a grandchild that lives in town, that I can spoil, won’t you, pet.”

She pinched his cheek.

“But I just got you a new broom last Hallowe’en, mother.”

“Yes, that’s almost the same,” I couldn’t help my laughter.

Two and a half hours flew past and I could have sat there all night listening to her stories, but Peter wanted a pint.

“Ok, Mam, we’re going for a pint. You’ve bored us enough for one night, Tony will be back again, won’t you?”

“Willingly. Thank you, Ellen. Your food was off the charts fantastic and I really enjoyed meeting you.”

“Thanks, boys. We’ll do this again soon, please.”

Peter looked at me.

“She just wants more chocolates.”

She shooed us out with a laugh.

“Thanks for that, Tony,” Peter said. “She doesn’t get to cook for people any more and it’s a side of her life that she misses.”

“She’s fantastic, Peter. I love her already. I love her food more, though. What’s on the menu tomorrow?”

“Beans on toast, probably.”

“Aah! Haricots sur du pain grillé,” I said in a faux French accent.

“Va te faire foutre, connard,” he replied, with a smirk.

“Who are you calling a prick?”

“Touché.”

We walked around to the Baggot Inn or, as he put it, the scene of the crime. It was pretty much empty on a Monday evening, so we sat at the bar and I listened as Peter exchanged wisdom with Dermot, one of the barmen.

“Pulchritude at six o’clock, Peter,” Dermot said.

“What the fuck, Smithser? You have a scout employed?”

“Ah don’t mind him,” he said as his head swivelled to asses the ‘pulchritude’. In this case a group of four girls who were deciding where to display themselves. One of them spotted Peter and they all rushed over.

“Hi Peter. Who’s your friend?”

“Ladies, this is Tony. We work together.”

“Work?” She playfully pushed his shoulder.

“Jesus! I DO work, you know.”

“You’re employed. That’s different.” I said.

All four girls laughed. Dermot was right. They were visions of pulchritude, quite spectacularly so in two cases. Four beautiful girls.

“Do we have to introduce ourselves?”

“Carry on, girls,” Peter said, and sipped his pint.

I stood up and put out my hand,

“You’ll have to excuse him, I’m Tony Harris.”

The first one took my hand.

“Melissa Jacobs, charmed.”

“Hi Melissa, lovely to meet you.”

The second one took my hand next.

“Aoife Davis, nice to meet you, Tony.”

“Hi Aoife, lovely to meet you.”

Then number three.

“Aine Davis, nice to meet you, Tony.”

“Hi Aine, lovely to meet you. Are you and Aoife sisters?”

“Oh no. We’re not even related, Tony.”

“Jill Adams. It’s really lovely to meet you, Tony.”

“Hi Jill, the pleasure is all mine.”

And it was. Jill was a stunner. She smiled at me and they adjourned to a table in the corner.

“For fuck sake, Tony.”

“What now?”

“They’re all wet now.”

“I just shook their hands.”

“Ok. Question. They all fancy their chances but one had the sizzling hots for you.”

“You think so?”

“Yes. Which one?”

“I’m gonna say, Jill.”

“Why?”

“Just a feeling.”

“Trust your instinct. She does.”

“Care to elucidate?”

“She was here on Saturday night. She was watching you with her mouth open, Jill is the hardest one to get off with. Even I’ve never been in with a shout.”

“What about the rest of them?”

“Oh they’re all notched on my headboard.”

I just had to laugh.

“We’ll join them in a while, see how we get on.”

“I need a smoke, get a couple of pints in, will you?” I placed €20 on the counter.

“No sweat. I’ll join you after I use the facilities.”

I walked out to the smoking area and fiddled around with my smokes as I watched the street. A tap on my shoulder made me jump. It was Jill. She was a stunning looking girl.

She had deep iridescent blue eyes shaded by lightly made up lashes that floated from her eyelids elegantly. A pale blue eye shadow complemented the depth of her eye colour and she wore a minimal amount of light beige highlighter around her cheekbones. She had straight dark brown hair with very pale lighter coloured highlights that brought animation to her as her hair swayed softly when her head moved in any direction.

Her lips were perfect, not overly full nor overly thin. They were the shape of Cupids bow and she wore a pale pink lip colour that softened her features. She was a little shorter than me and she wore a light blue jacket over a beige linen dress which ended just below the knee.

“Could I get a light, please, Tony?”

“Certainly, Jill.”

I held the flame to her cigarette and her hands enveloped mine as she lit her smoke from it. She took a deep drag and blew the smoke away over my shoulder.

“Thanks. So what brings you here, Tony?”

“I was around at Peter’s for dinner, we thought a couple of pints would round the evening off nicely.”

“Have you been here before?”

“Yes, once. On Saturday night.”

“Oh, yes. I remember you. I knew your face was familiar.”

“I’m not that memorable, Jill. The place was packed.”

“It usually is on the weekend.”

I sat down on a bench beside a long table. She joined me.

“It’s terrible the way they treat us like criminals just because we smoke.”

“It’s not a very tolerant society, Jill. Next thing you know they’ll ban other stuff that people enjoy.”

“You’re right. What kind of stuff can they ban, though? I understand the smoking ban, it doesn’t mean I like it, though.”

“True enough, Jill. I mean what about kissing in public? That could be considered as invasive as smoking.”

“No, they’d never ban kissing.”

“Some people should have to wear a health warning about kissing.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well a lot of people, men and women, aren’t very good at it. I’m no expert but I like what I like.”

“I’ve never considered that too much.”

“I suppose we all think we’re good kissers deep down.”

“Aren’t we all acceptable?”

“Probably, but it’s a missed opportunity, don’t you think?”

“In what way?”

“It’s the first intimate contact between two people, Jill.”

“I suppose.”

“Think about it. Let’s say that I wanted to kiss you now.”

“Ok.”

She swallowed nervously.

“Would you prefer a wet, sloppy kisser whose whole aim was to engulf your lips in his mouth while slobbering all over you?”

“I, I don’t think so, Tony.”

“Or would you prefer someone who gently touches his lips to yours, seeks a similar response, teases your lips to his, holds you softly as his tongue delicately tastes your lips before joining his lips to yours, teasing them apart, slowly moving together in a circular and random motion. Searching for the taste of your tongue, softly touch it with his, requesting a response. Taking you both to another place. A place of peace, romance. A sensual place where nothing exists except you.”

I held her hand as she stared into my eyes. She didn’t speak. She was elsewhere in her head.

“Earth to Jill,” I whispered in her ear.

She turned her head slightly at my words. I kissed her softly. Her arms circled my neck. Our lips stayed together as mine opened hers and my tongue tasted them delicately. I heard a sigh as our tongues joined and the motion of our lips increased in tempo. My hand brushed the side of her face, my thumbs stroking her hair. We were away in a place undefined, no sounds intruded. We ended the kiss with our foreheads together. Our eyes closed. It was a special kiss. She lifted her head away and placed it on my shoulder.

“Tony. I thought I was going to come, there, for a moment.”

“That would have been special, Jill. Would you like to try it again?”

“Yes, but not here. Let me have one drink with the girls and we’ll go somewhere.”

“Where?”

“I only live around the corner. We can, eh, go there.”

“Sounds like a plan. Just wave when you’re ready.”

“Can I have a normal kiss first?”

I smiled and she smiled back and we kissed softly before breaking apart and heading back inside.

“You absolute bastard!” Smithser said when I rejoined him.

“She’s a beautiful girl, Peter. Drink up, I’ll be going as soon as I get a wave.”

“What? You fucker. You realise were only here about twenty minutes?”

“I’m just doing what she told me to do.”

Jill didn’t wave, she materialised at my right shoulder and took my hand. I smiled at her and kissed her softly.

“Ah, get a room you two,” Smithser laughed.

“Are you ready to go?” I asked her.

“Yes.”

She held my arm as we walked back towards Peter’s house but we didn’t take the turn. We crossed over at the lights and along Wellington Road as she chatted away about the history and architecture of the area.

“You’re very knowledgeable about this, Jill. Do you have a background in it?”

“I just love it, Tony. I dabble, that’s about it.”

“Tell me more.”

“Really? I’m not boring you?”

“Far from it, you’re fascinating, Jill.”

Her face turned pink and she looked at her feet. She stopped, hooked her arms around my neck and looked deep into my soul.

“You’re really real, Tony.”

She kissed me again, pulling me inside her with sensitivity and warmth.

“You’re a beautiful lady, Jill.”

We walked on.

“Before we were interrupted, Jill, you were ‘dabbling’.”

“Yes. I kind of flit around the edges of property. My Dad is a developer and lets me tag along on his rounds. I get to see the detail in the background and I get to research the history of each property.”

“That’s a lot more than merely dabbling.”

“Sometimes. I think he just suffers my presence. I love it, though.”

“He loves you, Jill. Developers don’t ‘suffer’ anyone. He sounds like a good man.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she said almost wistfully, “he’s just my Dad. What about yours? What’s he like?”

“My Dad? He passed away a few years ago. Worst day of my life.”

“Oh, Tony. I’m so sorry.”

“No, don’t be. He was a good man, a very good man.”

“You love him.”

“Yes, I do. You know, Jill, a couple of years ago a woman asked me about him and I said the exact same thing as you just did. He’s just my Dad. She said, “Typical Irish male”. We were always together when I wasn’t in school, I worked with him every day off that I had. She asked if we ever told each other that we loved each other and I was ashamed to admit that we didn’t. Now, it’s the biggest regret of my life and I’d do anything if I could just have told him once that I loved him.”

She laid her head on my shoulder as we walked.

“I should tell my Dad, shouldn’t I?”

“From what you tell me about your relationship, I’d say take out your phone and tell him. It’s probably the best gift you can give to him and yourself.”

“I will.”

She reached in her bag and pulled out her phone.

“Hi Dad. How are you today?” Jill said.

Then,

“I’m great.”

Then,

“Just walking home.”

Then,

“The Baggot Inn with the girls.”

Then,

“I left early.”

Then,

“A guy.”

Then,

“He might.”

Then,

“I was just telling him about you and it occurred to me, well, him, that I’ve never told you that I love you. So I’m calling to say, I love you, Dad.”

Then.

“I know you do. But now it’s official.”

Then.

“Possibly, but I don’t want to frighten him off.”

Tears ran down her cheek as she hung up. I wiped them away with my thumbs. She kissed me again.

“My Dad thinks you’re very wise, thank you for that, Tony. You’ve no idea what that meant to both of us.”

“I know exactly what it meant, Jill.”

“Now my makeup is ruined. We’re here anyway,” she pointed at a two storey over basement red brick Victorian house.

“Is this yours?” I asked, my mouth salivating.

“Yes. Well it’s mine in the sense that I live in it and have brought it from a completely derelict state to where it is now.”

“I don’t understand, Jill.”

“My Dad bought it ten years ago. It had been abandoned and the roof removed to avoid paying rates. I begged him to buy it. It was going for a song, so he bought it and reinstated the roof and structural defects. When I was eighteen he handed me the keys and told me to finish it off. I’ve been working on it ever since.”

“What a fantastic story.”

She smiled. She was in her element. Happy.

“Come in, let me give you the penny tour.”

She brought me around the entire top two floors. This was her living space. The basement apartment space was rented to the Romanian Embassy for the use of visiting staff and was only intermittently occupied. The rent paid for the entire house. Jill was a clever tactician. I told her so. She smiled and hugged me. We sat in her front room, she opened a couple of beers, took off her jacket and sat by me.

“Here’s to you, Jill. You’ve done a sublime job on this place. It’s an absolute knockout. Best I’ve ever seen by far.”

“Thank you, Tony. I’ll take that seriously from someone who knows.”

“Ok, so you really need to define dabbling. This goes far beyond dabbling, Jill. This is the work of a pro. Tell me, don’t hide your light under a bushel.”

“I’ll tell you later,” she said as she took my hand and led me upstairs.

She brought me to a big room at the front of the house, overlooking Wellington Road. It was a magnificent room. Majestic, fit for a king. It was tastefully restored with a nod to its Victorian heritage. Instead of the bold colours and patterns that were the hallmark of Victorian design this room was decorated in an, of the period, Majolica Green to promote restful slumber. Tasteful plain linen drapes and curtains rested on rails above both windows.

Jill kissed me as we entered the room. I took her lips with mine. I sensed an urgency in her which fed mine. I kissed her neck, her skin was soft and clear as porcelain. My lips tingled at their touch. I slid the straps of her dress off her shoulders and it floated to the floor. She stepped out of it and pulled my shirt over my head. She laid her face against my naked chest and lay her hand roam across my body. Testing the limits, touching her tongue to my nipple when finding none. Sending shivers through me as she took it in her mouth.

I stepped back to remove my trousers as she laid on the bed. Her breasts were perfect. Two pink nipples aroused and longing for touch. I took one in my mouth and she slipped out of her panties, leaving a completely shaved vagina on display. Her breasts were soft and heaven to touch, she purred as my lips feathered the tops of her nipples, then sighed when my tongue circled her aereolae. Her hips performed minute gyrations as I felt them calling for attention, slowly I pushed her knees aside and an allowed my tongue taste the salty wetness of her vulva as she opened it to me longingly.

I covered her vulva with the flat of my tongue. Her breath came heavier as her extremities shook in expectation. I moved my tongue a mere four millimetres, no more, along and between the lips of her labia and her body shook wildly, her breath coming in gasps as she reached the plateau she had almost worked herself up to during the previous hour. She moaned loudly as she grabbed my head in her hands, not knowing whether to pull me away or pull me in. Her legs squeezed each side of my head in a vice of joy. I let my tongue off the leash and quickly found her clitoris, licking it slowly as her desire built, before slipping one finger inside her in search of a different texture. I found it quickly, as one touch caused an earthquake to tear through her. I stayed with her as she rocked forward and sideways, crying out in ecstatic wonder. Her stomach muscles tensed and she suddenly screamed as her climax overcame her, slowly soothing the tremors and allowing her regain her breath and control of her motor skills. She rested her head on a fluffy white pillow, her eyes closed, watching a private firework display slowly extinguish. She pulled me to her and my penis found the entrance to her vagina as I moved to hold her.

We looked into each others eyes and she nodded slightly as we kissed and became one together. It was like being sent to heaven. She was warm and soft. She emitted a musky aroma as we moved together towards the ultimate destination. My tempo increased as I became focused on my own need, she kept pace with mine and she followed me over the cliff as our ejaculates rushed together to mix in a glorious union inside her.

I laid on my side and she turned to kiss me. She was as quiet as a mouse as she snuggled in to me, her arms tightly holding on to me.

“You ok, Jill?”

“Mmm. Everything is just perfect, Tony.”

“Let me make you comfortable,” I said and moved to lie on my back.

She came to me and placed her head on my chest, holding me close.

“Can you imagine the conversation in the Baggot tonight, Tony?”

“I don’t know, Jill.”

“It doesn’t bother me,” she said, “I’ve never had an orgasm from sex before. It was amazing. You’re amazing. I’m so happy that I didn’t wait for the draw.”

“What draw?”

“To have you.”

“What do you mean, have me?”

“It was a bit of fun to begin with. One of us would sleep with you. We’d have a draw to select a winner but when you went for a smoke I went looking for you.”

“I see. Good one, Jill.”

“You don’t sound thrilled.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“It was a bit of fun, Tony, that’s all.”

“Once you had your fun, that’s all that counts, Jill. It doesn’t matter what anyone else feels.”

“Tony, don’t get angry.”

“I’m not angry, Jill. I never get angry when I’ve been used.”

“Ah no, Tony, that’s not the way it was. I didn’t think I was going to develop feelings for you in such a short time. What are you doing?”

“I’m going home, Jill. You’ve a lovely place here but it feels like a prison to me now.”

I picked my clothes off the floor and dressed in the bathroom next door. When I dressed, I sat on the side of the bath and broke down. Whole memories flooded back. Memories of my Dad, Alison, Danielle even Ruth, Lillian and, now, Jill. I felt a bit like how the elephant man might feel, a freak, or a curiosity at best. I dried my face in a hand towel, pulled myself up from my boots and remembered Lillian’s words. I put myself on the line and the odds of it being thrown back at me were high.

“Deal with it, someday you’ll meet the one who who you’re meant to be with,” I said into the mirror.

I left the bathroom and fetched my jacket. Jill was in the hall, crying. I put my arms around her until she stopped.

“You must hate me, Tony.”

“No. Life’s too short for hatred, Jill.”

“My Dad wanted to meet you but I was afraid he’d scare you off. I’m so stupid.”

“I’d like to have met him, Jill, he sounds like a good man. But, I have to get moving. Thanks for tonight, you were fantastic and I hope I satisfied you. I thought it might have lasted longer than a couple of hours but, that’s life.”

I opened the door and headed back to collect the van. I sounded the horn at Peter as I passed him standing outside the pub having a smoke. The phone rang. Peter. I debated switching it off, I couldn’t,

“Tony? Everything ok?”

“It’s all good, Peter.”

“Come back for a pint.”

“Nah, thanks anyway. I’m going home.”

“Did you shag Jill?”

“She won the raffle. The winner gets to fuck the freak. She won, I just provided a service.”

“Christ, Tony. I knew nothing about this. Honestly. I’m gonna fucking burst one of them.”

“It’s not you’re doing, Peter. Let it go. Let’s move on. I’ll know to cross the road next time I see them coming.”

“Ok, ring me when you get home, I won’t sleep until I know you’re safe.”

“I’ll drop you a text. See you tomoz.”

“How hard is it to say tomorrow, for fuck’s sake!”

I laughed and hung up.

I woke late the next morning, the phone woke me. It was Peter.

“What’s the story, man? Where the fuck are you?”

“Jesus! What time is it?”

“It’s nearly 9:00.”

“Fuck. I overslept. Cover for me, tell him the van broke down or something.”

“I’ll think of something clever. Leave it to me. Now hurry the fuck up.”

Tuesday morning traffic was always mental for some reason and I drove straight into the middle of it. I was fucked. The phone rang. Peter again,

“What’s the story, Peter?”

“Cadden’s on the warpath.”

“What’s new about that.”

“He’s looking for you.”

“Did you say anything?”

“No, I just stayed in my office. He looked in and saw me but he just blinked and fucked off.”

“He probably thought he was seeing things.”

“Yeah. I think they got me a new desk. Hang on. No, they didn’t. There’s a chewing gum stuck under the top drawer.”

“Tell him I’m collecting the Geo Surveyor. It’s been calibrated.”

“Were you?”

“No, it’s in the van. It doesn’t need to be calibrated, it’s GPS.”

“Yeah. Like I need to know that. I’ll drop it into a conversation in a bit, see how it flies.”

“Why wouldn’t he just ring me? The prick.”

“I’ll drop that in there too. This’ll be fun. See you in a bit.”

I hung up and had moved ninety metres in fifteen minutes when the phone rang again. I didn’t recognise the number. I answered it.

“Tony Harris.”

“Tony, Ben Adams, you don’t know me.”

“Good morning, Ben. How can I help you?”

“My daughter, Jill, asked me to call you. I’ve a nice little project that might interest you.”

“Ok, what is it Ben?”

“I have a couple of houses on Wellington Road that have the original stables at the rear. I’d like to turn the stables into boutique mews dwellings for use as Air BnBs. I need a full scope analysis done to include structural stability. Would you be interested?”

“Very, Ben, but I’m still training and I work for James Cadden.”

“I’d like you involved anyway. You impressed Jill with your sensitivity and knowledge.”

“What’s the budget and where’s the line?”

“The budget is what it will be. You know how it goes with these old structures, but let’s put an initial budget of €300k each on it. The line, as you put it, is everything up to interiors, Jill has a talent for those.”

“She certainly performed a minor miracle in her own house, that’s for sure. I’ve a couple of possible options that I’ll run today and I’ll get back to you. Does this budget include fees or are they percentaged?”

“If you can bring it in for ten per cent either side we’ll add them. What are you talking, six per cent?”

“In and around, plus VAT, with a ten percent deposit.”

“Ok, you do your thing and give me a bell. You have my number on your phone now.”

“I’ll save it, Ben, thanks for the opportunity.”

“You’re welcome, don’t let me down and, Tony, give Jill a break, she’s a good kid.”

“I was just thinking about her before you rang. I owe her an apology, it’s been a difficult few days.”

“I know how that goes. All the best.”

“Fuck you, Ben,” I thought, “you’re as bad as her.”

I eventually reached the office shortly after 10:00. I went straight to the canteen for a cup of tea. Peter jumped to his feet.

“Did you see Raffles? He’s looking for you.”

“Calm down, Smithser. It’s all in hand.”

“What? How?”

I told him about the call from Ben Adams. He had a look of hatred in his eyes.

“That bastard! Did you tell him to fuck off?”

“No, I needed an excuse to talk to Cadden, so I rang him and offloaded it on him. I told him it had only come up late last night and that’s why I was late.”

“Genius. Those pair are well matched. If Adams goes for it, that is.”

“Oh, he’ll go for it.”

“Why?”

“He wants me involved.”

“Does he now?”

“Did I ever tell you how I sometimes make horrendously expensive mistakes because of my penchant for extrapolation and over engineering? It’s an awful affliction, Peter. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

“This’ll be interesting. So are you going to bell Jill?”

“Fuck, no. Daddy’s lovely money doesn’t interest me.”

“She gave me a note for you,” he pulled an envelope out of his back pocket.

“What does it say?”

“I am many things, Tony, but I draw the line at sticking my nose into a person’s business.”

“I know, Peter, but what does it say?”

“The usual. You know, it wasn’t me, I didn’t mean it, I love you, please forgive me. Your dick is so big. The usual. I get them every day.”

We laughed it off.

“Seriously,” he said, “I didn’t open it. I felt sorry for her when she handed it to me, she was really upset.”

“Ok. Give it here.”

He handed it to me. I took it, tore it in half, then in half again and threw it in the bin.

“Fuck her.”

“You did, didn’t you?”

“I think I was the one who got fucked, Peter.”

Raffles burst through the door.

“Tony! Mr. Cadden is looking for you. You’re late!”

“I’ll be right with him, Raffles.”

I knocked on Cadden’s office door, he ushered me in and we sat either side of his desk, facing each other.

“I just spoke with Ben Adams. He’s seriously impressed with you, Tony. I am too. You did great work there.”

“Thanks, Mr. Cadden. I thought it was worth the time.”

“It certainly was. We’ve agreed a roadmap in principle for a €600k project. He tells me you offered a six per cent fee requirement.”

“Yes, I thought he’d bargain me down.”

He laughed and banged his desk with his hand.

“That’s the best answer I’ve ever had from an employee. You know we’d only usually look for four?”

“Actually, three, if it’s over half a million.”

“Yes, yes. That’s correct.”

“If he thinks this job is gonna come in on budget he’s living in cloud cuckoo land,” I said.

“Isn’t that a fact. In many cases those old stables just need a gentle push to demolish them.”

“I’m aware of that, you’ll just have to get the contracts in order to cover us. Is he giving us a deposit?”

“He didn’t mention one.”

“I told him it would be a ten percent deposit, plus VAT.”

“On the fees?”

“No, on the estimate. Since we’ve already mentioned €600k and there’s a percentage margin overrun agreed in principle, then that’s the working budget as far as I’d be concerned.”

“He wants you involved. Do you want to take it to the starting line? You can use anyone in the office to assist.”

“Yes, I’ll take Peter.”

“No. Peter’s not the man for this.”

“He is. I’ll guarantee it.”

“Ok. There’s a €3,000 bonus upon signing.”

“Make it four, that’s two for each of us.”

He laughed and shook my hand.

“Somehow, I feel sorry for Mr. Adams.”

I smiled and left the room.

“How’d you get on? Did he give you a bollocking?”

“No, but I’ve dragged you into something that could entertain us until we get bored with it.”

“Spooky. Do tell.”

I laid it out for him, chapter and verse. He listened quietly, no smart remarks or questions. I knew I had him hooked. I mentioned the bonus, he stood up out of his seat.

“Ok, well you can’t sit in here all day, young Harris. Get your arse in gear and give the ‘hereafter known as, The Client’, a quick call for his primary contact list and KPI and let us start getting this woman undressed. I’ll get moving on a contractual agreement. You know, I think I’m sensing the stirrings of a semi, deep in my loins.”

“One important note, Peter. Jill is the interior designer on this.”

“That’s cool.”

“Yes. But somewhere in that contract we need cover. We need to make sure that all preliminary paperwork, references, qualification, pricing, estimating, PL and EL policies, health and safety training, CV, attendance and final account percentages, for a start, are included in her contract. In the exact same way as every other contractor. She’ll be named as a nominated subcontractor and not someone who, dabbles.”

“Ooh, you are a devious bastard, young Harris, aren’t you.”

“Rules are rules, Mr. Smith.”

“I know exactly how to word this. This’ll be fun.”

He was engaged and enthused. It was a joy to behold. If that was all we ever got out of this project it would be worth every little bit of hassle that arose.

I was stirring my tea when my phone rang. It was Lillian.

“Good morning, dear boy.”

“Hi Lillian, what can I do for you.”

“Oh, nothing at all. I’m afraid I’ll have to cancel our evening, something urgent has come up back home and I have to return there today.”

“Oh, I hope it’s nothing too bad.”

“I don’t know yet. In any case I’ll text you about the end of the week. It will, most likely, be Friday evening. We can chat about it by phone if you need guidance.”

“I’ll keep Friday evening free, Lillian, thanks for the call.”

TBC