Overheard: Mick and Danny meet in the street

“Danny? How’s it goin’? I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“Mick? What the fuck are you doin’ over this side of the city?”

“I’ll give you two clues. Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

“First, I’m leaning on this ladder with a fuckin’ paintbrush in my hand.”

“Ok, I could see you were nearly working.”

“Here hold this brush for a minute will you?”

“It’s full of paint, Mick.”

“Just hold it, will you?”

“Ok, but I feel like a knob.”

“I can organise one of them for you if you like.”

“Fuck off. Will you take this brush back? Me arm is killing me from holding it.”

“There. See? It’s not as easy as I make it look now, is it?”

“I suppose not. But would you not get up on the ladder to make it look like you’re working at least?”

“I was up there earlier, Danny.”

“So?”

“So I had to get down before I fell off.”

“Why? Were you dizzy or something?”

“No. There were two people fucking on the desk in that office beside the window at the top of the ladder.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“As God is my witness.”

“Really?

“Yes, I saw the whole thing.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I don’t think I can repeat it.”

“Fuck off, just tell me.”

“Well. A red head was sitting on the desk. She was talking to a chap that was sitting behind the desk for a while. A good looking chap, looked a bit like me ten years ago”

“Was he wearing overalls?”

“No.”

“Did he have a gunner eye?”

“No.”

“Then how the fuck did he look like you ten years ago?”

“It’s a figure of speech, can I finish the story?”

“Go on.”

“So he stands up and whips out his cock and she grabs it, and sticks it in her mouth.”

“Jayses.”

“Yeah. While she’s sucking him off, he’s rooting around inside her tits for a bit.”

“Was it a big cock?”

“Why are you so fascinated by cocks?”

“I’m not.”

“Anyway, he takes it out of her mouth before the poor girl gets lockjaw, walks around the desk, down with the knickers and away he goes. Like the Duracell bunny.”

“And that’s when you got off the ladder?”

“No, I hung around for a few minutes.”

“Just watching them?”

“Yes.”

“It must’ve been like watching a porno, Mick.”

“Yes, and today would be the day I leave the camcorder at home.”

“And they never noticed you looking in at them at all?”

“I think she did.”

“How do you know?”

“Because she spoke to me when he shot his load.”

“What did she say?”

“She just said, “how are you Uncle Mick?””

“Ah, ye bastard. Ye had me going’ for a minute.”

“See ya, Danny.”

“Good luck, Mick.”