I’m going to open a time portal, Layla. This may be a little… strange. Just try to keep breathing and you’ll be fine.

I was about to ask what a time portal was when I was suddenly turned inside out and things got… more than a little strange. They got downright weird...

It started with a soft hum. Like a swarm of bees in the distance. Mechanical bees. It got louder and louder, like they were coming closer. Just as I began to panic, it stopped, replaced by an out-of-tune honky tonk piano playing a Duran Duran tune. I recognized it with a shock. Our song…

The world turn inside out again. Instead of the pilot seat, I was sitting on a wooden stool. The cabin dissolved around me and became a western saloon. The bartender set a drink in front of me. He was blue and shaped like a Tylenol capsule, if a Tylenol capsule had a spinning red light bulb for a head.

I desperately needed the drink so, despite the fact that it was glowing purple and had a weird-looking pink fruit on a swizzle stick in it, I took a healthy swallow. Not bad.

That’s when he came in. Clay. Only Clay was dead. I felt a brief moment of grief wash over me as I stared at him. He looked like Clay. Tousled blonde hair. An easy smile. Tan. Athletic. Incredibly handsome.

“Ma’am,” he said, tipping his hat towards me. His cowboy hat. I don’t think he’d ever owned a cowboy hat in his life. Nor a pair of chaps and a leather vest. Those three items, and a belt with a holstered pistol, the kind you’d see in a western, were all he was wearing. Not all. Boots with spurs. And a silver star-shaped badge pinned to his vest.

“I don’t reckon you’d like to go upstairs with me.”

“Hell yes, I would.”

Somehow I managed not to stumble over the words.

The piano tune changed suddenly. It became ominous.

“This town’s not big enough for the both of us.”

I recognized the speaker. One of the aliens that had captured us. That had killed us. I’d been resurrected. Clay hadn’t been so lucky.

“I reckon one of us has to go, then.”

He drew. Fast as lightning. A shot went off. Two shots, actually.

I seem to have made a miscalculation.

The saloon disappeared. So did the strange-looking bartender, the alien, and Clay. I was suddenly on a very strange beach. The sand was black and the sky was bright red. Pink and blue clouds floated overheard as waves surged towards me, washing over my feet. At least the water was the color of water.

What do you mean?

I didn’t account for the damage I took. We’re slightly off course. I’m doing my best to make adjustments, Layla.

A shadow fell over me. Something that looked like a dragon made out of random pieces of fruit flew overhead. Thankfully, it ignored me.

What is happening?

We’re in a time portal. You’re experiencing pieces of time from several different universes. Try not to panic. It’s all in your mind. Nothing can hurt you.

I heard a strange clicking. A pair of giant ant-like creatures rose up from the water.

I liked the saloon better. At least Clay was there.

I felt a wave of nausea as the world inside my mind morphed again. This time I was ready for it, though, expecting something strange…

“Got a favorite song?”

Clay. He was standing by a jukebox. This was one of my memories. The first time we’d met.

“Save a Prayer. Duran-“

“-Duran. Yeah, I know it. Funny. I would have guessed Hungry Like the Wolf. What’s a girl like you doing in a dive like this?”

“Trying to get laid.”

He grinned good-naturedly. His eyes, though, told a different story. I shivered as I felt the first stirrings of desire.

“Any luck?

“Bingo.”

We waited unto the song was over and then…

The scene flip-flopped. His place. His bedroom. He was naked. God, he was magnificent. I still had my bra and panties on. His request.

“I want to tear them off with my teeth. I think you’re the kind of gal who’d appreciate that. I guess I should ask your name. Not that it matters.”

“Layla.”

“Clayton. Clay.”

He made good on his promise, using just his teeth and then pushing me down on his bed. Bent over, my ass in the air so he could take me from behind. He was perfect, stretching my cunt until it ached. If I hadn’t been so sopping wet it might have been too much. As it was…

“Nice and slow.”

“Fuck that. I like it rough. Ram that monster into me.”

“Language, young lady.”

I would have laughed except he shoved his prick into me as he was saying it. Shoved? Slammed. I made a noise somewhere between a moan and a scream, pushing back as hard as I could to force him deeper.

“You’re such a dirty little fuck beast.”

Recalculating. Displacement imminent.

No! No no no! Just give me a few more-

I heard the bees again. Swarming inside my head. I was so close. So fucking close to a monster orgasm. Right there on the edge and suddenly denied.

Fuck!

And then… silence. We were floating. At least it felt like floating. I know I was. The screen showed a black expanse of nothing. No planets, no stars. A void. No sound either. Not even her – the ship’s – voice, which scared me more than a little.

Where are we?

I don’t know.

What do you mean you don’t know?

Exactly what it sounds like. I do not know.

We’re lost?

More silence. More than I could bear. I was about to scream, just to break it when her voice resumed.

It would appear so.

Oh. How do we get unlost?

Doing calculations.

This time the silence lasted even longer which unnerved me even more.

I am sorry, Layla. I am not sure that we can get ‘unlost’.

Oh. Fuck.

Yes. ‘Oh Fuck’ would be an appropriate response to our situation. There is, at least, a positive. A solution to our dilemma.

And that is…?

I can take us somewhere.

What do you mean?

Right now we’re lost in a void. Lost but not trapped. I can escape. I just don’t know where to.

Better than being here, I guess?

Presumably.

Will it involve another trip through the time thing?

Time portal. And yes, it will.

Let’s do it then.

I closed my eyes and did my best to think of Clay, hoping that this time he’d finish the job. A moment later, the robot bees were back.  

It worked. Sort of…

It was Clay, only he was silver. And shiny. And he had breasts. Really nice ones. Firm. At least he still had a cock and it was deep inside me just like before and I was about to erupt like a fireball.

“Fuck, oh god, fuck fuck fuck fuck!”

I’m not sure if that was me or Clay or both of us. It didn’t really matter. A moment later, he was filling my cunt with cum and I was sobbing in ecstasy.

Fuck, that was so fucking good.

I’m glad you enjoyed it. Brace yourself. I’ve found a suitable place to land so I can repair myself.

I was still panting. Strangely, I could still feel Clay inside of me. Glancing down, I realized that the seat had molded itself, or part of itself, into a prick. The part between my thighs. More accurately, the part shoved into my cunt. Like earlier, it was sheathed by the suit I wore, not that I could tell the difference. It felt like it was inside me. Bareback. Warm and wet and throbbing. Still hard and big. Just like Clays. Almost too big for comfort.

Would you like some more distraction? The landing might be a little rough, Layla.

Yes, please.

I whimpered, realizing what it – she – meant by distraction, it began to thrust into me again. Not just thrusting. It began to vibrate, driving me to the edge of madness and keeping me there, intent on not letting me come.

Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck.

Planetfall commencing in ten. Nine. Eight.

God, I need to come so bad.

You will. I promise. Seven. Six. Five.

Now!

Brace yourself for impact. Four. Three. Two.

Oh. My. God.

One.

I had no idea what came after one. Other than me, that is. I blacked out. The pleasure was that intense. I’m pretty sure I screamed first as every nerve ending in my body was hit by electricity. At least it felt like it. And then… nothing. I was floating in bliss. Sexual bliss. It was heavenly. I might have been dead. Again. Not that I cared.

Eventually, I regained consciousness…

Good. You’re awake.

Mmm?

And reasonably coherent.

Hmm?

I felt the webbing loosen and suddenly, I was free. Free to do what, though? I sat up and stretched. It felt good. Not as good as the orgasm, but still…

We’re on a planet?

Yes. Would you like a visual?

Yeah.

The screen nearest me began to glow softly as a very strange sight came into focus. It looked like a jungle. If a jungle had been formed from jewels of all colors and sizes. Emeralds, topazes, rubies, sapphires, diamonds, amethysts. Every color of the rainbow and then some. I think I may have forgotten to breathe for a moment or two.

It’s beautiful.

Shutting down systems now. Everything but life support. And I’ll leave the visual on. Or would you prefer a vid. It might take some time. I don’t want you getting bored.

Is there anything… alive?

There usually is. My scanners are currently offline so there is no way of knowing. Don’t go out there. I have no idea what the atmosphere is like.

What if put my helmet on?

I wouldn’t advise it. You’d have a high probability of surviving but nothing is ever one hundred percent.

Shutting down now.

The lights suddenly went dim and the cabin went quiet. I was alone. At least until the ship repaired itself, so I stared at the video screen, marveling at the landscape. Nothing moved. No plants, no bugs, no weird space creatures. Nothing. After a while, it got a little monotonous so I began playing with the switches until I found one of the vids the ship had mentioned. It was in a language I couldn’t identify and took place underwater. I wondered if it was a comedy, a drama, or a documentary. It didn’t seem to make any sense. It was just weird and the music, if you could call it that, made my head hurt, so I switched back to the planet’s surface.

Nothing had changed.

“I could be the only living thing on this planet. Even my companion is just a machine.”

I’d never been good with boredom. I began to explore the cabin. It was small. Besides the pilot’s seat, the vid screens, and a variety of knobs and levers whose functions I could only guess at, there was nothing.

“I would kill for a drink…”

Dead silence. Eventually, I was drawn to the small oval-shaped hatch that I’d climbed through what seemed a lifetime ago to escape the aliens. The Thrakk. Right next to it there were two buttons, one blue and one white.

“It couldn’t be that easy. Could it? I hope this fish bowl I’m wearing really works.”

I pushed the white button. Nothing happened, then tried the blue one and the doorway opened.

“Wow.”

The picture on the vid screen didn’t do it justice. The outside world glittered and sparkled like the finest gemstones being hit by the rays of the morning sun.

“Wow.”

Nothing moved. Nor could I feel anything. Heat. Cold. Wind. Poisonous gas. Nothing. Apparently, the suit was doing its job. I wasn’t floating away so either gravity worked or the suit did more than protect me from the elements. Thankfully, there was a ladder leading down to the surface of the jeweled world.

“The smart thing to do is to stay put until the ship finishes down whatever it’s doing. No one ever accused me of being smart.”

I began climbing down, slowly, carefully.

“One small step for-“

My words were cut off as what looked like an emerald leaf detached itself from a weird emerald tree and came floating towards me. It sparkled from within like it was filled with electricity. Mesmerized, I watched, too fascinated to be frightened as it came closer, stopping suddenly when it was within arm’s length, hovering at eye level as if it was watching. Maybe it was. Maybe it was waiting to see what I’d do.

“I come in peace?”

That always worked in movies. It began to circle. Nervously, I watched it until it passed behind me, appearing on the other side to resume its hovering.

“Me Layla.”

I couldn’t help but giggle a little. Clay would have approved. Apparently, the shard wasn’t much of a Tarzan fan. A green spark of light shot out like lightning and formed a pulsing green web of light that covered my body from head to toe. Convinced I was about to be electrocuted, I let out a scream.

“Oh my god! Oh my god? Oh. My. God. Oh, fuck.”

The sensation that invaded my nervous system wasn’t purely pain. Yes, some of it was pain, but not more than I could handle. In all honesty, I actually enjoyed a little pain when mixed properly with the other sensation I was experiencing. Pleasure. Pure sexual pleasure that, had I been able to move, would have had me flopping on the ground and writhing in ecstasy.

“Oh fuck. Don’t stop. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!”

I convulsed, a massive orgasm tearing through me. Unable to form thoughts, let alone words, I simply moaned, the entirety of my being shaking like a rag doll being shaken.

Another followed, leaving me drooling. Thankfully the helmet seemed to be vacuuming the saliva from the air inside it or I might have drowned.

The third orgasm turned me rigid, back muscles spasming as I gaped like a fish out of water, eyes bulging and fingers turning into claws.

I erupted in one massive come after another, losing all sense of time, until I was too spent to even moan. Eventually, it stopped whatever it was it was doing, still hovering, now above me. Observing? Maybe this had been some sort of science experiment with me as the guinea pigs. I’d certainly squealed like one. At least at first.

“Was it good for you too?”

Apparently satisfied, it floated off and reattached itself to the emerald stalk, leaving me to recover enough to pull myself back up the ladder and through the hatch, guessing correctly that the white button would seal me inside. Somehow I managed to collapse in the pilot’s seat and pass out...

Repairs completed. Systems restored. I am fully functional.

Startled by the intrusion of the voice within my head like some futuristic alarm clock I swore. It was weird. I should have been sore. More than sore. The kind of sore you only get after being fucked half to death. Maybe it had all been another freaky time-hole dream?   

How long were you down?

Ten of your earth hours. I hope you weren’t too bored. I see you managed to get some rest.

Not too bored, no. And yeah, a little. What now?

While my navigation system is now functional none of the constellations match up with the star charts that I have access to.

Which means?

I have no idea how to get back to either of our home planets.

So… we just pick a direction and cross our fingers?

I am not sure what good crossing our fingers will do, but essentially, yes. Prepare for departure, Layla.

This time when the webbing closed over me I didn’t struggle. Simply closed my eyes and accepted my fate.

Lift off in Ten. Nine. Eight…

I felt a keen sense of loss hit me and then it was gone, replaced by exhilaration. How did the saying go?

To infinity. And beyond!

Indeed.

Taking a deep breath, I lay back and got comfortable, silently counting down with the ship, and truly smiling for the first time since leaving Earth.

Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Zero.  

The adventure of a lifetime. Starring me. Layla Lovejoy.

Houston, we have liftoff.

To be continued in The Adventures of Space Girl Episode Three: Sacrificed to the Serpent God!