(Mid 1990s) My short breezy skirt slipped as I rested my bare feet on the dash of the truck. Enjoying the warm sunlight on my legs, while reading from the book, I caressed my feet together knowing the slight movement of my thighs would encourage my skirt up farther. With a quick glance, my heart skipped as I realized this was too much. I lowered the book to my lap just as I caught the driver noticing that I wasn’t wearing panties. Intense thoughts and sensations ran through me, discouraging the notion to cover myself. I thought of my husband, and how I wished he could see me now – riding practically bottomless in a truck with a man I had only just met.

My husband got upset every time our friends, strangers, and even his mother (who lived with us) would see me naked. I struggled for years until this and other problems led to my leaving. While using my friend’s office as my apartment for several months, I really cut loose. Fully indulging my exhibitionist urges, in part as a reciprocal gesture for the kindness of my landlords, but mostly for my own thrills. I had been hanging around the office/apartment often half-dressed and sometimes naked, in the presence of my friends. After having gone with my desires unfulfilled for so long, this became a most joyous time. I felt I was really doing as I wanted for the first time in my life. So, I did all to delay my parents from finding out that I had left my husband.

My whole life, even to this day, I have been a pushover. I am easily influenced and have had little success changing this habit. It is just who I am. My parents affected so many decisions that should have been my own. My major was elementary education, which was something only my mother wanted. Through college I would sometimes intern at elementary schools. At one point, I was reading A Clockwork Orange, but I had to stop. I found myself wanting to be mean to the kids. I believe this was the influence of the book. I have always been led by even the minor influences in my life. The only time I found this to be a positive is when it comes to sex. The wants of the boys at college aligned in such an exciting and satisfying way with my habit of surrendering to the desires of others and my obsessions with sexual matters. I want to know others’ interests and find validation of my interests through theirs. And, when I got to college, what I was interested in was sex. But when it comes to my parents, I let myself be pushed down a path to become something I never wanted to be.

I knew when my parents found out about my divorce, I would probably end up going back to my husband. I was working hard to make my divorce final before they knew. But that didn’t happen. Their campaign for me to return to my husband was in full swing when I agreed to go on this long journey with a man I only just met. I didn’t know if I thought this would convince me that I could be successful completely defying my parents, or if I could take things so far as to make my husband not want me back. But it was my goal to make the most out of this journey.

I learned from a friend of an opportunity to get paid to tour the mid-West for about six weeks. I was relaxing on the sofa in the office while my friends worked at their desks. Their backs were to me as I imagined ways of getting their attention. This was a regular game that I think we all enjoyed. I can’t really say I was their muse, as I liked to pretend. I was probably more of a distraction, but one they tolerated for the enjoyment they found with having a girl flirting and teasing around them almost every day.

On this occasion, I was wearing one of my nighties, and had been appreciating how I still felt just as sexy and exposed as I did when naked in front of them. But, I did not currently have their attention. Eventually I slipped the nightie down to expose one boob, caressing my nipple as I hoped they would turn around and notice. I was startled when the phone rang and Brandon glanced at me slightly as he turned to answer.

The caller was Jackson, a professional juggler/magician/comedian, and an old friend of Brandon. He was calling because he had contracted a tour performing at schools across the mid-West. I learned that Brandon had worked with him on similar tours before. He would help Jackson with his staging, sound system, and a few other matters related to the tour.

I had fun trying to make Brandon stumble with his conversation on the phone as he watched me continue to tease my nipple. But the more I listened, the more I became distracted. Brandon now had better work, so he was not interested in going on the tour. I had never met Jackson, but this sounded like a fun adventure. As soon as Brandon hung up, I started with all my questions. Before the evening was over, I volunteered for the tour.

Brandon thought I really wouldn’t want the job. He warned me that Jackson was cheap. Not only would the work not pay well, but he also wanted to share hotel rooms to save money. That didn’t bother me. I was excited to travel and thought that sharing hotel rooms for six weeks, with a guy I had never met before, only added to the adventure.

From the way Brandon was warning me, I wondered if he didn’t want me to go. He and I had been growing closer. In recent weeks, I had been posing nude for his video camera. We were having great fun, but I don’t think either of us knew where this was going. We were not a couple, and there was no sex. We were just having a lot of fun together and becoming very good friends. But as it seemed that he was making an effort to talk me out of the tour, I wondered if he was concerned about me sharing a room with Jackson.

In conversations over the next days, I learned that Brandon and Jackson grew up together and trusted each other. This made me feel safe, and I expressed that to Brandon. After he understood I was not concerned with the low pay or rooming situation, he had Jackson call me to discuss the job. Although in that call Jackson did explain what my responsibilities would be, and that we would have to share hotel rooms, it was less of an interview and more my also convincing Jackson that I was fine with the conditions.

I spent the weeks before the trip asking Brandon about Jackson and the work. He told me a few funny stories about their adventures together, which made me even more excited for touring the mid-West in such a fun way. What I did not know at the time, but should have expected, Brandon was also telling Jackson about me.

A few weeks later, Jackson picked me up in his truck full of equipment and we started off on our long road trip. I found him to be handsome and very charismatic. His whole job was performing for people. Whether telling jokes while juggling in front of a large crowd, or doing close-up magic with a more intimate group, he was always putting on a charming show. Even in private, he seemed to never turn this off. It made the time spent with Jackson a lot of fun, but exhausting at the same time. I came to learn that you could not get too close to him. He never seemed to be real with anyone, always the performer. But this was a good dynamic for our time together on this tour.

Most of the time we would be driving just a few hours between cities and towns in the mid-West, putting on shows in school theaters or gymnasiums, spending only a night or two in each town. But this first drive together was a long one, traveling from Florida to Ohio. As we got to know each other on this drive, I could already tell Jackson and I were going to get along very well.

Leaving, if only temporarily, my wonderful situation of teasing Mark and Brandon everyday, I had been thinking a lot about what fun I could have with Jackson. I had been opening up more sexually, but with Jackson, that was not my goal. I wanted to be daring and surprise him with my antics. It is different to show off in front of a stranger, co-worker, or roommate than a boyfriend or lover. I knew that Jackson was straight and did not have a girlfriend. So, I thought sharing a room with him was going to be exciting for me, and hopefully him. I tried to gauge this during our long drive to Ohio.

It started with what I was wearing – a short thin skirt and tight tank top. I thought I looked good in this, but it also gave me the ability to escalate, if things went well. Even though it was Fall, my outfit was fine for Florida. But as we got closer to Ohio this would not be suitable attire. So, my outfit provided an excuse to change clothes during the drive.

I would also plant topics in the conversation that would invite his thoughts on related matters. In my excitement for such a road trip, I re-read Jack Kerouac’s On the Road. And it gave me a way to bring up a fun idea. Early on the drive, when the conversation slowed, I offered to read aloud from my book. Jackson agreed, so I kicked off my shoes, put my feet up on the dash, and settled back to read. Pretending to pick up where I had left off, I really just went right to a chapter I could use to test him. It was the part in the book when they are driving across Texas and Dean convinces the car’s occupants to disburden themselves of their clothes.

As I read this part to Jackson, I paused to joke that if we get bored with all the driving, we should disburden ourselves in the same way. He turned his head toward me with his eyes focused on my legs. Believing these to be my best feature, I had them elevated, and well displayed in the sunlight, as my bare feet caressed on the dash. This was causing my skirt to slip, revealing far more than a good girl should. Jackson noticed just as I laid the book in my lap. I worried about overdoing it, but the look in his eyes I found wickedly gratifying. He was taking this in, along with my ‘joking’ suggestion that we get naked.

“I will if you will,” he answered.

This gave me the tingles. I was already having too much fun, but relieved to be sure that we were going to have a great time together. Mind you, if I had known then that Brandon had already told him certain things about me, I would not have been this flirty so early on the trip. This was too much, but at the time I thought I was just testing him with a little sexiness and a few jokes.

My not knowing what he knew affected another concern for me, but in a different way. I had been debating if I would keep with my habit of sleeping nude. If I knew he was practically expecting me to already, I would have gone for it. But fearing I might be shocking this guy who didn’t know what he was in for when he hired me, I was really torn on the topic. I planned to use what I learned about him on this drive to decide how far I could go. I believed that if I was going to sleep naked while he was in the room, it would have to be from the beginning. I couldn’t sleep in my clothes for a while then suddenly go naked one night. He might take this as an invitation. But if I established that I always slept nude, this would just be how it was. This decision depended on his attitude and the tone of our relationship that we were building this first day together.

By the time we crossed into Kentucky, the sun was down, and the temperature had dropped. When we stopped for food and gas, I grabbed some warm clothes from my suitcase in the back of the truck. I had decided to go through with my idea to change in front of Jackson. Standing at the back of the truck, while he was pumping gas, I thought about changing right there while we talked, even though it was cold. But before I worked up enough courage to change under the gas station lights, where others were likely to see, Jackson finished pumping. So, I brought my clothes with me into the truck. As we got in, he commented that I must be freezing. This was my opening. I agreed that I was not dressed for this weather and asked if he would mind if I changed. Jackson started driving as he told me to go for it and added that he wouldn’t look. I reminded him that we would be living together for the next month and a half, so we would have to get used to each other.

Aside from the occasional passing light, it was pretty dark in the truck. I took off my top and skirt, then purposely fumbled with my pants and sweater longer than necessary to give plenty of time to catch Jackson peeking. I know he gave me the side eye a couple of times, but never really looked. However, he made constant jokes while I was changing. I don’t remember most of them, but one stuck with me. He said it was nice to see that I was not so clothes-minded. He kept me laughing the whole time I was changing. I could tell he enjoyed my reactions to his jokes. We were getting along well. This helped with a big decision. I would be sleeping naked at the hotel.

We finally stopped for the night just South of Cincinnati. Brandon was not kidding when he said Jackson was cheap. Even though I never had much money, I was used to hotels, not motels as he chose for most of this trip. The door to our room opened right into the parking lot. He had me duck down in the truck while he checked in, to avoid the fee for an extra person. Then I had to sneak into the room. It felt wrong, but in some ways, it added to the adventure, and set the tone for the illicit things to come.

I was relieved to find that the room had two beds. I feared that his checking in as a single person would put us in a room with only one bed. I knew it would be too much for me to flirt with him as I did on the drive, then slide naked into his bed. But having my own bed, I was excited to go through with my plan.

We were both very tired. After taking a quick shower, I wrapped myself in a towel and took a few minutes in the bathroom to build up my courage. I thought about another time I made the decision to sleep naked in a hotel room with friends. It was a cheerleading trip, and when the girls realized I was naked, they tossed me out into the hallway. I knew Jackson would not do this. Although, I could not help but picture being locked out naked in the motel parking lot.

When I came out of the bathroom, Jackson was already in bed, but not yet asleep. My mind was buzzing. I could feel the pressure of my blood pumping as I grew more excited. I was about to drop my towel in front of my boss, who I just met today. The lamp on the table between the beds was on, so I moved to turn it off, but stopped myself as I thought better to leave it on. Now standing inches from him, I turned my back to him and prepared my bed. He wished me a good night.

“Good night,” I answered.

Without looking back at him I removed my towel and hopped into bed. All was quiet for a minute or so as I worked to control my excitement while wondering if he had been watching.

“Do you want this on?” he asked.

Not expecting this question, I answered much too excitedly, “I don’t need anything on.”

As he turned off the lamp, I realized what he meant. Pulling the covers over my head, I cringed at my stupid answer. Then came his telling response.

“I noticed.”

As tired as I was, I had worked myself up too much to sleep. I heard his last comment over and over in my head for at least an hour before I finally fell asleep. In the morning, I woke to Jackson talking on the phone. He was fully dressed, sitting on his bed, and facing me as he was reviewing some schedule changes with his booking agent. When he noticed I was awake, he told me we needed to get moving. We had a few more hours to drive before arriving at our first show that afternoon. This was before most people had cell phones, so he was using the corded phone on the nightstand. I knew he would have to be sitting there until he was off the phone. So, I had to decide how best to get out of bed with him so close and watching. I had laid my towel on the bed, but it was gone. I looked around at the floor, as much as I could from under the covers, but no luck. He knew I was naked, but should I stand up out of bed just inches in front of him? Would it be more awkward if I shimmied across to get out from the other side of the bed and scurried to the bathroom?

I decided to get up and pull the covers with me, but they were tucked in tight. I was able to stand, but now I was stuck standing in from of him, wrapped in a sheet, and unable to move. Still on the phone, he laughed at me while I tugged as hard as I could at the bedding. He gestured for me to hurry. What I had planned as a graceful display had turned quite pathetic. Frustrated, I gave up and untangled myself, almost falling as I came free of the sheets and my dignity, stumbling naked to the bathroom. There I found my towel. He had hung it up. I wondered if he thought he was being helpful, or if he had set me up. I figured the latter. But I knew he was at least amused by me so far. Before finishing his call with the agent, I heard him say that the trip was already off to a great start.

As we drove toward the first school, I didn’t want to bring up what happened at the motel. I was hoping he would, but he didn’t. We talked more about the show, and what I would do when we got there. My job was easy. Sometimes he would need his microphone and speaker system set up, but most of the schools would already have this for him. I would help unload and stage his props and equipment, then put it all back after the show. He would usually do all the talking with the staff and kids. It became obvious to me that I was hardly needed. I realized that he just didn’t want to be alone on the road for so long. I was really more of a paid companion. Even with the low pay, I thought this was a great job for me.

We only had one show that first day. So, when it was over, we took some time for him to teach me a few things about his equipment and what more I could do to help. We had to be in another town by the next morning, where we were scheduled for three shows at three different schools that day. This was pretty much how it worked. One to three shows each day, and a drive to a new town in the evenings. We would do sightseeing on the weekends, which we had off.

As we pulled into another motel that evening, Jackson asked me again to duck down so we could avoid the fee for an extra person. I told him that if we keep doing that, we may end up with only one bed. I could not tell if this was just something he had not considered, or if it was his plan. But he thought hard about this without responding. I added that I was fine with sharing a room, but I wanted my own bed. He nodded and asked me to hide anyway, saying that he would make sure I got my own bed.

We did have two beds this time, as well. Because it was not yet late, we walked down the road to get some food and ended up bringing some beer back to the room. As we hung out drinking and talking, I decided to change into something more comfortable. I could go into the bathroom to change, but I thought it would be fun to just change at my suitcase beside my bed. I put my back to him as he continued his story. We talked while I took off my shirt, pants, and bra. I enjoyed hearing the changes in his voice while he tried to pretend all was normal. Leaving my panties on, I turned toward him while pulling my tee shirt on over my head and joined him back at the little table across the room. It was obvious that I was having the effect on Jackson that I wanted. I felt bold and sexy.

We talked for a couple of hours over a few beers before I could tell he was fighting to stay awake. I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. I wanted to keep taking things further. So, with a little help from the beer, I left the bathroom door open as I took my shower. He could not see me unless he came up to the door, but I still got a thrill from leaving it open. Afterward, I wrapped myself in a towel and walked out to see that Jackson looked to already be asleep. I dropped my towel on my bed and climbed in. Then I reached up and turned off the light.

“I see you still don’t need anything on,” he said, revealing that he had not been asleep.

I covered my face in embarrassment for an instant before my arousal took over. I was not so embarrassed to be seen. That was exciting for me. But I was not used to someone commenting, and so cleverly. I thought best not to respond, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Why did you take my towel?”

At first, he didn’t know what I meant, so I reminded him of that morning when I got out of bed. He said that he found the towel on the floor and hung it up.

“How chivalrous,” I stated with sarcasm.

I don’t remember his exact words, but he went on, in an inebriated stammer, to say that Brandon had told him that I was quite liberated. He knew I walked around naked in front of the guys. As I listened, my feelings were a confused mixture of mortification and elation. I demanded he tell what else he had heard about me. He added that he knew I went skinny dipping with some friends at Brandon’s apartment complex, and photocopied my boobs at work, spreading hundreds of copies everywhere. (I did copy my boobs, but other people spread the copies.)

Without confirming or denying, I pushed him for more of what Brandon had told. He added a little about my being naked around the office, then insisted that was all. I decided to say nothing more and just try to get some sleep. But after about a minute, Jackson (unsolicited) blurted a confession.

“Okay! I also saw some videos. A lot of videos. Good night.”

I ended up lying there trying to decide how I felt about Brandon telling all of this to Jackson. It was not the first time he told others about me and my shenanigans, but in this case, he was telling a guy these potentially titillating details before I was to spend six weeks sharing a motel room with him. I had been growing close to Brandon, and had been wondering how he really felt about me. I found his approach to this situation with Jackson to be revealing, and could not reconcile if I were more disappointed than aroused.

When Jackson said, “A lot of videos,” I knew Brandon must have shown him everything, because there were not a lot. There was one where I did a little fashion show, had been recorded in a bubble bath, and recently Brandon filmed me in the kitchen cooking naked. But that was about it. I had not yet seen most of these videos, but I remembered that I pleasured myself on his desk and in the tub. Knowing Jackson had seen this brought me feelings of slight anger and lust. When making the videos, it turned me on to think they could show up anywhere, anytime. This is what was happening. It was what I wanted, but still surprising and hard to process what I really thought about it. I knew we had to be up early tomorrow, so I said nothing else to Jackson, and tried to fall asleep. Eventually, I did.

The next morning, I woke up before Jackson. Just like every morning, I was feeling randy. But even more so now with all these thoughts in my head, and after not having touched myself for two days. I usually pleasure myself at least twice every morning, and often several more times before the day is done. I have been a chronic self-stimulator all my life. I knew this trip with Jackson was going to be interesting. I figured that I would have to curtail my habit, or spend more time in the bathroom, but I like to enjoy myself first thing in the morning as I lie in bed in that groggy state of waking. So, with Jackson still sleeping, I found this to be a good time.

I tried to be discreet, staying quiet and under the covers. I like to lay face down and use both hands to put pressure where it counts while making quick and random gyrations with my hips as I fantasize. Unlikely I would wake anyone not in my bed, but if someone were watching, what I was doing would be obvious. Two days is practically a record for me, and I was revved up by all that was going on. So, I wasn’t able to fully hold back my moaning through the first orgasm. And just as I was working for the next, Jackson stood up and walked to the bathroom. My face, already red, must have turned purple as the realization hit me that he probably wasn’t sleeping that whole time. Just like most of my would-be humiliating moments, I tried to focus less on my embarrassment and more on the pride I feel by being open sexually. But this was embarrassing.

While Jackson was in the bathroom, I looked for my towel. It was nowhere around. I knew now that he really was messing with me. That got me excited, but I decided to get dressed before he came out of the shower. I was overstimulated and had to calm down. This was only day three and I was about to explode.

Over a fast-food breakfast on our way to the first school of the day, I brought up what was most on my mind.

“So, Brandon told you ALL about me?”

“Not really,” he said, blowing me off.

He then turned the topic to our schedule for the day. I learned that he was just as interested in our little games as I was, but that would have to wait until after work. He wanted to, or had to, focus on the shows during the day. We were dealing with dramatically different worlds – working with kids all day, and sexy games at night.

As the day went on, I decided I would not ask Jackson more about what he had learned or thought of me. I wanted to keep some mystery around our play. And I didn’t want to spoil my feeling that I could still surprise him. I had also thought about calling Brandon, but for the same reasons, decided not to address the topic with him either. At least not yet.

That evening we had a long drive and arrived in the next town very late. So, when we got into the room to find only one bed, we were both too tired to find another room. Jackson said he would sleep on the floor, but I told him it was fine. We could share. When I said that, I knew we were both wondering if I would sleep in the nude.

I took a quick shower and came out in a towel. I could feel Jackson watching me. It just seemed like too much. I wanted to, but I couldn’t bring myself to drop the towel and climb naked into the bed we would share. So, I walked over to my suitcase and changed into a tee shirt and panties. As tired as I was, I felt the urges building in me. I still wanted to play.

Jackson climbed into bed in a tee shirt and boxer shorts. I walked over to my side of the bed and pulled back the covers. He gave me a hard look and reached up to the lamp, but before turning it off, he delivered a most sarcastic statement disguised as a question.

“You need something on this time?”

Already on the edge, the opportunity to offer a clever retort was all I needed to commit. My answer was simple and abrupt.

“No.”

I pulled my tee shirt over my head, slid my panties off, and got into bed while adding a warning of questionable sincerity.

“No funny business.”

The lamp went out and we didn’t say another word all night. He was shocked. I was giddy with delight.

In the morning, I woke to feel that my bottom was pushed up against Jackson. I thought I should move, but was stimulated by the sensation. I was so much in the mood for my morning routine, although doubting I could get away with it. I slid my hand between my legs but could only tease myself a little without being too obvious. When Jackson began to stir, I moved away. Now we were both under the covers, lying on our backs, and I noticed he was no longer wearing a shirt. He opened his eyes to see me staring at him.

“Are you naked?” I asked.

He answered, “No, are you?”

I rolled my eyes and complained that he had slept in his underwear every night until I was in his bed. But he insisted that he was wearing underwear. I was just having fun with him, but I stuck to my shtick.

“Show me,” I ordered.

He hesitated.

“I knew it!” I exclaimed.

But again, he insisted he was not naked. When I was pushed up against him, I could tell it was not his bare skin. So, I felt pretty sure he was telling the truth, but I enjoyed watching him squirm.

“You need to show me right now.” I demanded.

He started to explain what happens to many guys in the mornings. I stopped him as I already knew about this, and could relate. Nevertheless, I asked if it happens every morning, or if it is happening because I am naked lying next to him. He finally caught on to the little game I was playing and mumbled a profanity as he got out of bed, still in his boxer shorts, and covered his erection as he made his way to the bathroom.

I gave it a few seconds before a final jab, “Whatcha doin’ in there?”

He replied, but I couldn’t understand him. I wondered if he was commenting on what I had been doing the morning prior. It didn’t matter. At this point, I was hoping he did catch me. Either way, I was teasing Jackson on so many levels, and I knew we were really enjoying each other.

When I first learned about this trip, I was very excited for the travel. But so far, we had only seen rundown elementary schools, in small industrial towns, between nights in dirty motels. But I was still having a great time.

The next few days and nights played out much like the previous, except that we did not have shows on the weekend. We were near Lake Erie in Northern Ohio when we reached the first Friday night. Not appreciating how long it takes to get to Niagara Falls, we decided to spend the weekend there. Neither of us had been before, and we both wanted to do some sightseeing. We didn’t think this through very well. A quick glance at the map and it seemed not too far. But a few hours of driving after a late evening start, we decided to stop and get a room for the night.

By this point, I had made it my habit to leave the bathroom door open when I showered. The design of most motel rooms allowed Jackson to either ignore me, or maybe catch a quick peek if he wanted. This was stimulating for me, and I think also for him. But the layout of this room was different. It had a mirror covering all of the far wall, reflecting the bathroom to most of the motel room. When I got out of the shower, I caught Jackson watching me in the mirror as I was toweling off. At first, I pretended not to notice because I wanted him to watch. But when he realized that I knew, I had to say something.

"Take a picture, it will last longer." I joked.

Being the comedian that he was, he picked up his camera and took a picture. I laughed and expected that would be it, but he kept taking pictures. The more he took it seemed less like a joke and more like he really just wanted these pictures of me. Each time I heard the camera go off, I got more excited. I was a little nervous to come out of the bathroom, but I was enjoying the attention. So, instead of wrapping myself up in a towel, I just came out naked. He was no longer laughing or joking. He looked serious. But just as I thought to really start posing for him, the film ran out. He put the camera down, but I was too far gone to stop.

This was another occasion when we only had one bed. I laid down, on top of the covers, in the middle of our bed and stretched my arms above my head while turning my body just so and positioned my legs to complete what I hoped he would find to be an irresistibly sexy pose. He just stared at me and seemed to not know what to do.

So, I offered, “Is that it?”

“What would you like?” he asked.

“You can do as you like,” I offered… and he did.

We spent the next five weeks driving to the different towns, performing at the schools, and having intense motel sex every night. Maybe it is not accurate to call it sex. We were fucking. It was aggressive and uninhibited. I like to vocalize, but I am not usually a screamer exactly. Although, I took advantage of these motels with Jackson to really let go. Sometimes he would try to quiet me, but I enjoyed that our neighbors could likely hear my sexual mantra as I loudly and relentlessly begged him. Something about that just elevated the whole experience for me.

I didn’t know if Jackson would tell Brandon about our dalliances. But thoughts of this fed my desire to be a wild and unforgettable experience for Jackson. I began to hope he would tell Brandon every lascivious detail.

As sex became expected daily, the thrills of exposing myself to Jackson lessened. But it was well worth it. It turned out that Jackson was a real horndog. My libido is far greater than most. I cannot effectively express how amazing it was for me to share a time with someone who also has such an elevated sex drive. And we did find other ways to amuse ourselves. I helped him fulfill a longtime desire to watch a girl get very naughty with one of his juggling pins. And we even carried out my idea to disburden ourselves of our clothes on several long drives. I started doing this regularly, but there were times that Jackson joined me. The two of us driving naked together along Indiana and Michigan farmland is one of my favorite memories from this trip. I think of it as my Kerouac experience.

After the six weeks, we returned to the office/apartment in Orlando. Jackson took Brandon and me out to dinner where we recounted various stories from our trip, but left out everything sexual. I thought Brandon knew what would, and did, happen. He knew Jackson well and had a pretty good knowledge of me. But I did not mention any of it, or that I knew what he had told, and shown, Jackson about me. However, years later, I learned from Brandon that Jackson had told him some things. I would love to have known exactly what they said about all of this, but he wouldn't tell me much.

I learned a lot on that trip with Jackson. Of course, I learned about him, more about Brandon, and a great deal more about myself. I loved the freedom, the constant pursuit of pleasure, and how completely I was exploring my desires. I was gaining strength and confidence with each new encounter. And at this point, I believed I understood the most significant thing I learned on my journey so far. No matter what my parents did or said, I was not going back to my husband.

Although Jackson and I had great fun together, we were not really into each other. It was entirely sexual. What I did with Jackson in those motel rooms across the mid-West was something that I think could only happen with a loose affiliation. It would have been different with someone I truly love. Nevertheless… it was fantastic!