The 5:30 AM alarm went off, and I awoke quickly as usual. I stopped the alarm and sat up in bed for a second as I came to my senses. Working a blue-collar job meant very early mornings and often long, gruelling days. I never dreamed of working in construction, but here I was for the past year and a half. With the job market being as shit as it is and the pay of blue collar being worthwhile, it seemed like the best deal for now.
I looked back at my wife, Alisha, who was still sleeping. She was a beautiful brown brunette who was way out of my league. With dusky skin and a curvy build, I knew I had scored with a future milf, undoubtedly. She was desperately searching for a job in her field. No luck yet, though. So at the moment, she was unemployed, and I was the sole breadwinner.
We married young before she was even done with college. I had finished and decided to take on this construction job until we were both ready to get our lives started. That was a year ago. She's now graduated and is taking it slow and staying at home. I work hard to make sure she can. About two weeks ago, she dropped a curveball on me. She wanted kids.
I knew women had baby fever, but my god, the urge is strong in them sometimes. We were only in our mid-twenties and hadn't been married for long, but I had a hard time saying no to her. I mean, the idea of finally having unprotected sex with her didn't sound like the worst thing in the world to me. She always felt strongly about waiting for kids and didn't like taking risks, so I've always used condoms. She begged and begged, and I finally relented. So it looked like her not working and me working long hours at this construction job was going to be the norm for a little while.
I got up and walked across the hall to our bathroom to begin getting ready. Our home was small, but we owned it, which is rare for our age. My grandparents left me a generous inheritance, and my wife and I didn't hesitate to use it for real estate. I glanced down the hall at the room next to ours; it was an unfinished bedroom, which was part of the reason we got the house at the price we did. Alisha wanted that to be the baby's room since it was right next to ours, so I began doing some work in there in my free time.
I laughed to myself a bit; I'm sure I've done more damage to that room than actually helped it. For example, I accidentally drilled through some wires, rendering a socket in there useless. Also, while attempting to put up shelves in the closet, I drilled right through into our bedroom. Luckily, Alisha had never noticed, as it was small enough and surrounded by plants and paintings she'd decorated our room with.
..........
The work was long and gruelling, like usual. I came home after a very long day and dropped myself on the couch as usual. My hands were beaten up, I was dirty and sweaty, and I'm sure I wasn't the funniest person to have around after work. But nonetheless, Alisha gave me a warm smile and a kiss to welcome me home. She had prepared dinner and handed me the plate. I couldn't thank her enough; she truly was the perfect dream wife.
"So I was thinking," she started, a little hesitantly. "What if we went to a clinic to make sure we're both, you know, fertile?"
I was a bit surprised, as we hadn't even begun trying. It took me a few days to agree, and she wanted to start tracking her cycle so she knew when she was most fertile. I relayed to her my thoughts; she persisted, however.
"I know, I just figure it's cheap to get it checked, and maybe knowing beforehand would be extra beneficial to trying? Maybe they could even help? I just don't want to waste time. I want this so bad and just want to take all the steps we can."
I interrupted her a bit and said, "It's ok, baby; if you want to go, we can go. I just don't want you to be too ahead of yourself, I guess, but there's nothing wrong with getting checked."
She smiled her big smile and hugged me. Tomorrow was my day off, and she wanted to go get checked then. I agreed, and the appointment was set.
That night, I had another nightmare. It wasn't uncommon for me to have these nightmares. I was back in high school. I was the skinny, dorky kid I always was growing up. I was in the hallways and realised I didn't have pants on.
"No fucking way... that dork wants to go pantsless now." Laughter erupted.
I turned around and saw my bully, Ryan. Ryan was the star of all my nightmares; he also tormented me in high school and was as evil as they came. He would smack my lunch out of my hands and trip me; one time he held me in a headlock while flirting with a girl he liked. The worst part was that she gave him her number all while I was nearly choked out right there. He was popular and attractive, and I wasn't. And he spent every day making sure my life was hell.
The dream continued with me pantsless and all the kids laughing—not an unusual feeling. Ryan picked me up by my ankles and held me upside down. The kids really exploded in laughter at that one. I was flailing in the dream, trying to grab him and get back to my feet, but I was unsuccessful.
layI woke up from the nightmare, my heart racing. My wife still laid fast asleep undisturbed. Thank goodness. She wasn't aware of my nightmares or the extent of my being bullied. We met in college, and I told her I had been picked on here and there a bit but never explained. I didn't tell her how Ryan once gave me a wedgie that was so bad that he picked me up and carried me down the hall like that. The slurs he'd spray painted on my car caused me hours of cleaning at the car wash and funny looks from people.
The worst he did, though, was his verbal assaults. He got groups of kids to all laugh at me while he tore my insecurities apart. It had been years since I'd seen him, but those nightmares still plagued me from time to time.
After sitting up for a minute and collecting my thoughts, the horrible feeling of the dream faded, and I no longer felt like a schoolboy being bullied once more. It was early in the morning, and I decided to try and get some more rest before our early morning clinic visit.
The appointment came and went like that. They told us we should expect to hear results in less than a week. During that time, she told me she had nearly finished tracking her cycle and we could start trying soon. I had never been more ecstatic for anything. I was finally going to fully experience my wife.
Before my dreams could bubble much bigger, they were crushed. I came home from work one evening, and my wife was pacing the house, looking worried.
"The clinic called," she started. My heart started racing as I prepared for bad news. "They said you're completely infertile; there's next to no chance of you getting me pregnant."
I felt my stomach drop at this news.
"So what does this mean? We can't have kids," I asked.
Her eyes filled with tears, and I could tell this news was almost more devastating to her than it was to me.
I held her as she softly cried. I knew how much she wanted a kid, and I knew she wanted to be a typical mother. My flashes of emotion went from dumbfounded to sadness and eventually to anger. Maybe it was my recent nightmare, but my mind immediately flashed back to high school. I could see and feel every time that dickhead Ryan punched me in the balls, kicked me, and one time even had his other friends hold me down and hold my legs apart while he bowled a bowling ball right down the middle, the whole time laughing his ass off. I just somehow knew that that little punk was the reason my testicles had stopped producing swimmers. He was the reason I couldn't give my wife a kid.
I wanted to give it a few days to let things settle, but my wife pulled herself together as quickly as she could and looked into other alternatives. She began doing research into anything that would make her a mom—adoption, sperm donation, and even things that could make me more fertile—though every website prefaced that it only slightly increased the odds and couldn't fix infertility.
She also decided that if possible, she absolutely wanted this kid to be hers; adoption would only be a last resort. We both looked into sperm donors, but there was one problem. Money. I worked hard and spent long hours breaking my back, and even with that, we were only getting by with a little extra every month. Saving up enough money to even attempt it once would take months, and that's assuming it even worked the first time. I could tell this was crushing Alisha.
...........
One night after another long, exhausting day at work, Alisha hesitantly approached me. She came and sat by me, acting all sweet and over-the-top nice—the kind of thing someone does when they want a favor. I questioned her a bit, and she reluctantly opened up.
"Well, I've been browsing online these past few days looking for any solution to our problem, as you know. And I may have found one, but it's a bit of a long shot," she stated.
I perked up in excitement and questioned her more.
"Well, I was trying to look into cheaper sperm donor methods."
My excitement deflated from my body a bit, as I didn't relish the idea of it being another man's child technically.
"And I stumbled onto something really interesting."
Her beating around the bush had me confused, and I desperately kept pulling it out of her.
You can't be serious," I said with the most dumbstruck look on my face. "You want to have another guy fuck you?"
She tried calming me down as she sensed my frustration. "Don't put it like that; it sounds extreme. Look, I found this website that offers extremely fertile men at really low rates. It says they're professionals, and they're not there to invade your home life or anything; they do the bare minimum to get the job done. It really wouldn't even be sex; it'd be more like he jerks off and last second puts it inside of me so I can get his sperm."
I hated this idea immediately. No man was going to touch my wife if I had any say about it. She was gorgeous, and I had a hard time believing that this mysterious man would be so good-hearted and not make a move of some sort. The idea of another man's dick anywhere near my wife made my stomach tight. We argued back and forth, with me not giving any ground on this. However, Alisha finally broke down into sobbing tears.
"Look, I've tried looking into everything. I barely even want to get out of bed anymore unless it's in search of a way to get pregnant. I want to be a mom more than anything else on this planet. And I love you; I really do, darling, but this is absolutely a deal-breaker for me. I know it's not your fault you can't have kids, but I can't see my life without them. I need to make this happen, and this is the only feasible way I've found. So I'm sorry, but if you're not on board with this, then we need to start having a different discussion."
The threat of divorce stopped me dead in my tracks. I loved Alisha more than I loved anyone. Everything I've done since meeting her has been for her. I knew how much this meant to her, and while I hated the thought, I could lay down ground rules and just suffer through this one moment in life to get to spend the rest of it with her. Nothing was worth losing her. Finally, and reluctantly, I agreed.
My wife was ecstatic for the next few days and browsed the website for partners. There were, surprisingly, quite a few men to choose from there. I had laid down my ground rules with her, and she agreed to them all. She wasn't allowed to see this man again when he was done. The bare minimum was to be done in order to get her pregnant; this was not a hall pass for her. I also wanted nothing to do with this process; I never looked at the website or any of the dudes. I didn't want to meet these guys and would promptly leave the house whenever they were due to come over.
She met up with a couple of guys to interview them a bit, see if they were a right fit, and get a feel for what traits our future kid would pick up. Every time she came back, though, she seemed increasingly disappointed. None of these guys were the right fit, and she wanted to be as selective as possible about who would father our future child. She was starting to run out of men in our area, according to the website. That was until the other day.
I had had a particularly hard day at work. The boss had been working me hard, and I'd been working later hours when I could to pay for these sessions, even if it made me sick to my stomach to think about them. When I was finally resting at home, Alisha came bursting through the door. She seemed completely over-the-top excited.
"What's got you grinning so big?" I asked.
"I finally found a guy I think would be a good fit!" she exclaimed.
My heart dropped a little.
"We've been talking for the last few hours, and he seems perfect; his characteristics would be great in our child, both personality and physically," she said with almost a giggle. This felt like a punch in the stomach, as my wife basically called this man attractive.
"How long were you two talking?" I asked.
She hesitated for a second, seeming to not want to answer, but swiftly did once it began to feel like an awkward silence.
"Four hours!?!?" I exclaimed, a bit upset. Anger and jealousy were really starting to bubble inside of me. I was filled with emotions about this whole thing.
"Well, I needed to be sure that this was the right guy. Do you want me to just take some random guy off the street? Every other guy on the website is a loser and doesn't come close; this was the first guy that actually seemed like an interesting prospect, and I think we should go through with it."
My emotions wanted me to scream and be angry. But I had already agreed to this mess, and she seemed to be back in one of her stern moods. I asked if she had already set up a time with him, and she said she hadn't. She asked if I wanted to see him, which I declined. I already felt sick; seeing the guy would make it worse. I very reluctantly told her to set up the time then. She bubbled in excitement again.
Every day that passed, my dread filled me more and more. I never wanted this day to come, but I also wanted it to be over. The guy's rate was $100 a session until it worked. It seemed too expensive for the service, in my opinion, but it was still cheaper than any other service. Not to mention my overtime was starting to save up a good wad of cash.
The day finally arrived. I had never felt so sick. Meanwhile, Alisha almost seemed to be glowing. She knew I was in a grumpy mood but chose to ignore it. She was walking on cloud nine. I mostly moped in the living room, but I still took notice of her doing her hair and makeup. Worst of all, I could have sworn I caught a glimpse of her wearing one of her sexy thongs that she wears to entice me, but I thought the less I knew, the better.