Jimmy sucked in a lungful of oxygen, yanked open the front door, and stepped into Marlene’s living room, where Nicole and Mike were chilling on the couch with their feet propped up on the coffee table.

“Um, hey, guys,” the third-wheel hubby muttered. “Where’s Marlene?”

“Dottie took her to Bingo.” Nicole leaned forward, scooped up her pack of Virginia Slims, and shook loose a cigarette. “How’d it go at Red’s? Did he get off okay?”

Jimmy shot a glance toward Mike before turning to his wife and beseeching her with his eyes.

“What?” Nicole shrugged. “Mike already knows about you and Red — we set the whole thing up in his office, remember?”

“Yeah, I fucking remember.” Jimmy stomped his foot. “So, I guess I’m just not allowed any privacy at all, am I? What the fuck, Nicole. This is a bunch of motherfucking bullshit.”

Mike sat up straight and pointed at Jimmy. “You better watch your tone when you talk to her — you hear me, goddammit?”

The wimp wilted. “I … okay, I’m sorry, it’s just a fucking embarrassment, man.”

Mike nodded. “I get it, dude. Red’s insane, and he’s hard to deal with on any level. I can’t imagine—"

“Insane isn’t the word for it.” Jimmy shuddered. “The guy’s a fucking psycho.”

“But at least he’s discrete, right?” Mike cocked his head. “He doesn’t bring any of that … um, you know, to the bar, does he?”

“No, and he’s stopped insulting me in public, too. He ignores me now — so I guess that’s good.”

“Well, that’s just how Red is.” Mike scoffed. “Everyone knows he’s gay but he doesn’t really advertise it.”

Jimmy gulped. “Does anyone else at the bar know—?”

“About you and him?” Mike waved his hand. “No, no, he wants to keep that quiet. I told you: he doesn’t advertise. He had that chauffeur who died, a kid named Peter who was always hanging around.”

“Was that Poo-Pooh?” Jimmy asked.

Mike shrugged. “Probably. He called him Peter in public. Everyone knew what was up there even though Red tried to downplay it. But you? No, the only way anyone will know is if you tell them. What you need to understand about Red is, he wants everyone to like him, which is why he’s always buying rounds — but then he can be mean as hell, depending on who he’s dealing with. He’s fucking crazy, that’s all there is to it. All I know is, he told me he’s happy with you. Ecstatic, in fact.”

Mike downed his can of beer and set the empty on the table. “Listen, what you’re doing is really important — not just for me, but for Nicole, too. Really important. This is high-level stuff, Jimmy. The Corrigan fortune goes back to the pioneer days when they started cutting down all the forests around here and the family cornered the lumber market. Red’s supposedly a multi-billionaire — and if you get him in the right situation, the loopy motherfucker will start throwing money around like crazy. And, man, does he have a thing for you — he keeps saying you’re perfect.  That’s why I wanted to talk about a few things, Jimmy.”

“T-talk?”

“Yeah.” Mike nodded at Marlene’s empty easy chair. “Why don’t you go ahead and sit down?”

As Jimmy edged toward the chair wondering what was up, Nicole wiggled her empty beer can. “Here, before you sit down, can you go get me another one?”

“Grab me one, too, would you?” Mike pointed at his can.

Jimmy collected the empties and shuffled to the kitchen, noting how Nicole and Mike were asking him to do something instead of barking orders as usual. After serving the beverages, Jimmy settled in Marlene’s chair and braced himself for whatever was coming.

Mike took a sip. “So, Nicole says you have a business degree?”

“Um, Business Administration, yeah.”

“And what kind of company were you at?”

“Triumph Industries; they manufacture plastic buttons for leisure suits.”

“What were your duties, exactly?”

“Uh, well, I was Executive Manager, so I was in charge of making sure everything ran smoothly on the shop floor, with the bookkeeping, all the permits, shipping — pretty much everything.”

“And Nikki says you were in charge of thirty employees?”

“Um, thirty-five.” Jimmy’s eyes narrowed. “Why are you asking me all this?”

“Because I need an executive assistant who knows what he’s doing — someone who has a college degree. I barely finished high school before I got drafted.”

“Um, executive assistant?” Jimmy shifted in the chair. “Uh, what—?”

“Red says once we start expanding, there are gonna be a bunch of details that need ironing out — proposals to write up, meetings with zoning boards, and shit. Red says it would help if we had someone trustworthy onboard who has a degree and knows his way around all that bullshit — and Nikki was saying with your background you’d be perfect. It would be on top of your porter job because I still need you at the bar. But I’d cut you some slack there; I was thinking you could work at the bar four days a week and then spend two days taking care of the administrative stuff.”

“That would give you one day off, which is one more than you have now,” Nicole interjected. “Plus, Mike’s gonna pay you five bucks an hour — more than double what you’re making now. And that’s on top of what you get from Red.”

Jimmy looked at his shoes. “Shit, it sounds like you two have already decided this.”

“Well, yeah, we talked about it — but, no, we haven’t decided anything, so don’t be a smartass.” Nicole scowled. “You’re getting a great opportunity here, damn it. You wanted a job where you could use your degree? Well, here you go — you have a chance to get in on the ground floor here, Jimmy. In a few years, there’s gonna be Sitting Bulls everywhere, and we can all get rich if we play it right.”

A strange chill suddenly whooshed through Jimmy, and he felt as if he was being lifted by some invisible force he couldn’t control. When he opened his mouth to breathe, the words tumbled out: “Are you guys having an affair?”

Nothing was said in response for several seconds until Nicole finally broke the silence: “Jimmy, you need to understand something: I don’t want a divorce from you.”

Jimmy gritted his teeth. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean? Is that a yes?”

“Yes, to what?”

“Are you having an affair?”

“Well, what did you expect?”

Tears filled Jimmy’s eyes. “I was supposed to expect this?”

Nicole touched Mike’s shoulder. “Would you mind leaving me and Jimmy alone for a minute?”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, let us talk, okay?”

“All right, I’ll be out back getting some air.” Mike rose from the couch and strolled away.

Nicole patted the couch cushion. “Come over here.”

Jimmy didn’t move.

“Okay, then don’t come here; I don’t give a shit.” Nicole sniffed.

The pussy-whipped pansy slinked out of the chair and plopped onto the couch next to his beautiful wife.

Nicole squeezed Jimmy’s knee. “Do you remember that guru at that ashram we went to in Milwaukee when we first started dating?”

“W-what?”

“That funny-looking guru; the little guy with the long beard who kept pulling his earlobe. We kept laughing about him.”

Jimmy blinked. “Um, yeah? W-what about him?”

“Well, remember how he talked about the relationship he had with his wife? How they could sleep with anyone they wanted? He kept talking about free love?”

“Yeah, that whole thing was a scam.” Jimmy rolled his eyes. “The guy kept asking for money.”

“— and for the women to take their shirts off,” Nicole added, and for the first time in ages, she and her husband shared a chuckle. After the moment passed, she continued: “This doesn’t have to be something that tears us apart, Jimmy. It’s the Seventies; lots of people have open relationships.”

“Um, open? What does that even mean?”

“It means we don’t own each other, Jimmy. I’m a liberated woman, and no man owns me. I’m telling you, a lot of people do it — Dick Cavett had people on his show the other day; they live in a commune and everyone has sex with each other. It’s really not a big deal anymore.”

“So … does that mean I could sleep with anyone I wanted, too?”

“Well, you’re already having an affair with Red, aren’t you?” Nicole maintained a deadpan expression as long as she could before busting out in giggles and slapping Jimmy’s arm. “Come on, you gotta admit that was funny.”

“Not really. Okay, just a little bit.”

Nicole lit another cigarette. “Seriously, Jimmy. Why not try it? An open marriage. Yes, you could see whoever you wanted, too.”

“But … but I don’t want anybody else. I only want you, Nicole.”

“Aw, that’s sweet.” Nicole placed her hand on Jimmy’s cheek. “But you need to realize: because of your … little issue, I’ve had to go without one of the most important things a woman needs — sex. Women need sex, Jimmy. You know?”

Jimmy bowed his head and cast a doleful glance at his crotch. “I-I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It’s not my fault.”

“Well, it’s not my fault, either, is it? I need sex, Jimmy. So, what do you suggest I do? Resent you for it and yell at you all the time? Keep sneaking around with Mike? Let things fester, and cause a rift in our marriage that eventually tears us apart — right when we’re finally starting to put it back together?”

The air was still until Nicole, who had a firm grasp of the neuroses that drove her husband, threw out the clincher: “Your mom would be so proud of the way you’re handling things, Jimmy.”

“You … I-I … you think so?”

“Oh, jeez, yes, are you kidding? The way you’re sacrificing? Doing stuff that you don’t like so you can hold this marriage together and take care of your family? Yeah, babe, I’d say your mom is probably smiling down right now as we speak. You’re nothing like your dad — he ran off when things got hard. You’ve stuck it out, and you’re doing what needs to be done, even if it’s something you’re not really happy about. I’m proud of you, and I’m sure she is, too … up there.”

Jimmy blushed. “Well … thanks, Nicole. I really appreciate that. I really do.” After thinking about it for a second, he leaned to the side, dug a handful of bills from his pocket, and offered them to his wife. “Um, here, honey. That’s a thousand — Red paid double.”

Nicole’s eyes bulged. “What? Wow, you’ve got to be kidding me. A whole thousand bucks? Why did he pay double?”

“Um … er, I, well.” Jimmy wrung his hands. “Promise you won’t tell Mike?”

“Of course not, honey.”

“Well, he … he …” Jimmy’s chin hit his chest. “He wanted me to lick him. You know, his … his butt.”

“Ew, you licked his ass?” Nicole crinkled her nose before catching herself and softening her expression. “Aw, I’m sorry, honey, you did good. I know that had to be hard. I really do appreciate what you’re doing for us.”

Upon receiving his beloved wife’s praise, Jimmy felt warm and gushy inside, although enough anxiety oozed through to prompt him to ask again: “Promise you won’t say anything?”

Before she could answer the kitchen door rattled open and Mike’s huge frame filled the entrance way. “You guys okay? Need more time?”

Nicole looked at Jimmy. “Are we good, honey?”

“Um, yeah.” Jimmy played with his sleeve.

Mike strode into the living room and approached the couch. He stood in front of Jimmy, extending his palm. “We cool?”

Jimmy nodded and shook his rival’s hand, unable to look him in the eye.

“So, you’ll take the job?” Mike didn’t loosen his grip.

“Um, s-sure,” Jimmy croaked.

Nicole squealed. “Ooh, this is so great! Let’s celebrate!” She smiled at her husband. “Someone should run to the A&P to pick up a couple bottles of burgundy.”