“Oh fuck off, will you Alex?” It was the first time I’d ever seen anyone having sex for real. The first time I’d seen a woman naked, come to that, though all I could actually see was a pair of long, smooth legs wrapped around Dave’s hairy backside. He had stopped thrusting to turn his head and shout at me, and I heard the woman – I think it was Katy, from finance – moan something to the effect that she would very much lik...

They say the hardest moment of a mother’s life is when her child leaves home. This was particularly true in the case of my eldest daughter, as I had to literally chase her out of the house with a broom. This wasn’t our family home, of course, and she had in fact been living as an independent woman for several years at that point. The house, however, was mine. One of the many properties I owned around Nottingham and rented...

I can’t assume you know the first thing about me. I can’t assume you know the story of how, on that day many years ago, I came to find myself lying handcuffed to Lisa’s bed wearing just a bra and stockings, covered in my own dried spunk and staring angrily at the ceiling. The three women who had done this to me – my housemates Lisa and Ellie, and their accomplice Janice – had been gone for hours. I had been mulling over t...