I completely understand how you feel, I have been down that path, have wanted to be dead because life is flavourless but I am still here, and today I am glad that I am still alive, I think one day you too will be glad to be alive, once you are dead you cannot change your mind, message me if you like, it sounds like you have a huge depression, like me, finally drugs have started working and I feel less sad, happy to be alive, though some days are worse than others, I hear you, deeply. jennie
Self esteem? how do you define that when happiness is at stake or at least a temporary form. thanks for replying
Thank you, you are absolutely correct. We both need to heal, we are both lost souls too. But it takes a different effect on me, he is used to a lot of solitude, I am not.
There is nothing I need to to do to get away except say goodbye, He is giving me some joy and happiness when I feel I am not being ignored or shut out, I know deep down the problem comes from myself. My friend cannot change that, but he could be a little more giving. So into him that all he has to do is talk to me, makes me smile, he picks me up, but probably deep down it's for the wrong reasons. So far unable to move in the direction of being happy because of who I am, thanks for replying.
maybe some of you have read my posts before, (though I always posted in ask the guys): Posts follow the same unfortunate trend: concerns same friend same pain. Do the current details matter much?, I have been so so low over this so despondent, I have to stop the relationship, but I still feel so much in my heart, but I give and give and give and get sometimes something, often just crumbs back or nothing or too much selfishness disguised as "this is who I am your choice" kind of response. My heart is breaking too often too much, how do I stop? Obviously I am having trouble with the cold turkey method. Too low self esteem as well.
ok so this is the rage cage, so screw my lover who won't love me back, I don't care if I cannot accept his ""ïs"". I just wanted a few kisses before I left aftermaking him a lovely boeuf bourgignon. Being a feminist in love is a contradiction in terms
Hmmm. Thanks for the feedback. This is not only about time, but about being efficient, but for what? However, my friend has certain amazing characteristics that keep me really really attached, like his ability to listen, to see his flaws even if he cannot and does not want to change particularly. He is also an amazing lover and a very intelligent and deep person, we have been together, and have been thru a lot, for almost 2 years. I feel like he is my soul mate, a source of great joy, but also sorrow.
Thank you all again. Am I being just a coward?
Thank you all for your thoughtful answers,
first of all there is no one else in the picture,this I know, so that is not the issue. He is very into efficiency, even in his time with me, is he a distant or non present lover, not at all. But his need for controlling everything, being efficient even when we are just relaxing together is omnipresent and our time together is planned in advance because of this fact. He knows that I have become very upset about it, and has made efforts to be "more gentle", and has said to me that he starts preparing my departure one hour in advance, which in my mind really hurts because he is feeling that he wants me gone an hour in advance of the fact, and we are not talking about spending 6-8 hours together, often it is 3 or 3.5. I am so, (too) attached to this man, really love him, and sometimes feel loved back, when I can pretend this part doesn't exist. It upsets him too when I relay my feelings and his response is to say well I need to protect us both so you can't come over for a while", then I feel like I am being "punished" for voicing feeling hurt.
Why would a guy be obsessed with having his lover come visit only for a very specified time. No one else is in the picture, no meeting job ect to rush off to. And yet there is a specified time to be out by. And sometimes it's hard to deal with. Will have spent a wonderful afternoon, evening, then it's "" ok you have to leave in 5 minutes" clothes get carried to the couch and a reminder is given to ""focus"". We have had many a negative outcome over this, and it is still a problem to the point where we do not get together because of this separation issue. It is always in this direction, I am never rushing him, even if I do have a shot amount of time available. Any reflections on this particular " always a bachelor"" attitude. Is this very unusual or not?
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty children friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty children friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty children friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty children friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.
My lover is a man who is pretty closed and guarded, struggling with a lot of stuff in his life, is currently holed up with a video game for several days, says leave him be, is tuning me out, says not to take it personally, has even gotten angry at me for telling him I want to be there for him, need him, woke up in tears because I miss him so much, this angered him too, I am so in love with this man, he tells me he has never experienced love, ever, but is very very fond of me, cares for me ect. I adore this man, this current episode is really hurting me, feel so weak, he thinks I am making this about "me", feels "annoyed" I see it as more closing up, don't know how to act, I told him I loved him, he said "thank you". Should I play distant, but I cannot be something that I am not, I wear my heart on my sleeve, it suits him sometimes, touches him, I feel too much at the mercy of his moods, detrimental to my mental health even. Then he will "come back" tell me he misses me and I will be so happy. Pretty bad?
