What am I doing?
I’ve been so busy trying to save the on thing I love most in this world that I’m destroying everything good in my life.
Driving away friends and family, making those that loved and cared about me hate me.
Why am I still holding on?
I sit here alone for hours, days waiting and nothing changes.
I trick myself into believing I’m fine and even fool myself into smiling when all a really want to do is scream and just die.
I’m already dead on the inside and only one thing can change that.
The distractions don’t work, the whole world has the volume turned down. everything is dead, the sun has no warmth, the rain does not cool. the wind has no sent of life on it. everything is stale and lifeless.
Everything around me has no meaning and yet I'm doomed to live on. I cant bring myself to end it all and yet I cant bare to go on.
Doomed to a circle of suffering I wish I could die but don't.
I wish it so much to happen.
I wont do it myself but i wont try to stop it. As hard as I try it just wont. walking in busy traffic, doing the most dangerous options yet still I am stuck here.
Why cant I just die and be done with this life.
I'm here if you need a friend to talk to, to listen to. I'll hold you if need be. (Online anyway)
I'm sorry to hear that you feel this way. Gentlest of hugs. Xxx
I've been where you are. It's hell.
Feel free to pm me.
I completely understand how you feel, I have been down that path, have wanted to be dead because life is flavourless but I am still here, and today I am glad that I am still alive, I think one day you too will be glad to be alive, once you are dead you cannot change your mind, message me if you like, it sounds like you have a huge depression, like me, finally drugs have started working and I feel less sad, happy to be alive, though some days are worse than others, I hear you, deeply. jennie
Please honey reach out to someone...to anyone..
We all have been in YOUR pit of despair
I don't know what is going on..family ..a relationship...friends..job
know this...it will pass
But until then if you cannot get to a therapist to ease this time in your life
So many people on here can help
My dearest friend bdsmbarbiedoll has been a great source of comfort and love
You can PM me and I will listen
Please just reach out...we will catch u
Hugs and strength
Even when you think nothing will ever feel right again, things turn around, and life gets better. Reach out to family or friends, or even here on Lush, people will listen. I wish you well.
You are not alone (even your post says you have family and friends who love you)...and there are even strangers (I'm counting 6 above me) who care enough to take the time to write you a message.
Whatever it is that you are dealing with, know that it is not the end. Time - however long it takes, WILL help you move on.
Many of us have probably gone through what you are going through (though the circumstances may be different).
Its always "easier said than done" but have courage and know that there are many who are willing to help in any way they can.
If you'd like to chat, I'll be happy to provide a listening ear. Feel free to PM.
You are not alone. *hugs*
