I'm from Bedford.
PS. No more sexy Cornish accents please, my heart won't stand the strain, neither will my pants.
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Reprehensiballs
Over 90 days ago
Male, 61
United Kingdom
Forum
Advanced Wordsmith
An orgasm, THEN bacon. In a sandwich, with brown sauce.
Advanced Wordsmith
I guess if his heart actually stopped then he might have got brain damage from lack of oxygen to the brain. Frankly though it seems unlikely it could have made much difference, he was clearly as thick as shit to begin with.
Advanced Wordsmith
If I go for long enough without sex I lose the desire to come entirely. Only thing is, if I then get turned on in a major way without ejaculating, my balls ache like hell afterwards. (someone once called it blue balls, not sure if that's a common expression)
Advanced Wordsmith
I agree with everyone else here, the world is full of wondrous variety, why mess with it? Plastic surgery though is very often not about how other people see you but how you see yourself. If your friend felt more confident or beautiful as a result of having this surgery then all power to her elbow.
Advanced Wordsmith
It's not horrible to want sex with your partner, it's entirely normal. I agree with Woman here, it sounds like there could be some other factor at work. Poor self esteem can mess so thoroughly with your mind that enjoying sex becomes an impossibility. Try and talk to him about how you feel by all means, but be ready for the root cause to be nothing to do with sex, or even you. Quite often it can be something entirely unrelated to you that is causing the problems. I hope you sort it out, it sounds like you really care about him and you deserve to have your wicked way with him whenever you want it!
Advanced Wordsmith
Take it from me, if you can try it out first, do it! Finding out there is something wrong after you are married sucks big time.
Advanced Wordsmith
Don't watch the extended version of Fellowship of the Ring whilst cooking potatoes.
Advanced Wordsmith
I drive a school bus for a living and there are many times when I have seen a person's driving change from perfectly normal, to suddenly
erratic and unpredicatable. I know as soon as I see it that they have started a phone conversation. Driving one-handed is best left to those
with a specially modified vehicle and the training to do it. Texting is even worse IMO, you simply cannot watch the road and a tiny phone
screen at the same time with 100% safety.
erratic and unpredicatable. I know as soon as I see it that they have started a phone conversation. Driving one-handed is best left to those
with a specially modified vehicle and the training to do it. Texting is even worse IMO, you simply cannot watch the road and a tiny phone
screen at the same time with 100% safety.
Advanced Wordsmith
I don't plan on having a funeral. I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Advanced Wordsmith
I did a similar thing with Friends Reunited a while back. I even went to meet up with a former schoolmate, it was nice to see him but he had clearly changed completely and we never repeated it. I was recently contacted by one of my old high school teachers too, it was wierd since I was a right little horror back then and made his life hell at times. I think he was just trying to make contacts for his wife's business though (selling timeshare in Spain). Personally I think if you lost contact with these people, then FB won't help you get it back again. The lesson you youngsters can learn from me is, don't lose contact, especially not with people you care about. You will regret it later, and you will never recapture the lost time even if you do find them again.
Advanced Wordsmith
I dunno about my body, but I read somewhere that when hanged you go out with a stiffy. That's one kind of upright I could stand to be when I die. Nobody could ever accuse you of not beaing able to keep it up then could they?
Advanced Wordsmith
I've always been more attracted to small/petite girls than to larger ones, sadly it's never been reciprocated and all my lovers have been on the larger side of average. I love the thought of being able to pick her up and throw her about a bit, so to speak.
Advanced Wordsmith
Beholden is spot on, anything can become addictive. As a psychiatric nurse I once dealt with a guy who was addicted to stabbing himself with needles. It wasn't strictly a self-harming addiction either, he actually enjoyed it and ended up in hospital because he was causing considerable damage to himself in pursuing the addiction.
The definition of addiction is interesting (quoting here)
Addiction is a persistent, compulsive dependence on a behavior or substance. The term has been partially replaced by the word dependence for substance abuse. Addiction has been extended, however, to include mood-altering behaviors or activities. Some researchers speak of two types of addictions: substance addictions (for example, alcoholism, drug abuse, and smoking); and process addictions (for example, gambling, spending, shopping, eating, and sexual activity). There is a growing recognition that many addicts, such as polydrug abusers, are addicted to more than one substance or process.
But more simply, if you find yourself unable to stop doing something without considerable effort then it may be an addiction. If that behaviour is also adversely affecting you or your life, then it should be considered a harmful addiction. I heard a story recently on the radio that suggested online activities such as MMOs and social networking can be more addictive than heroin. I would certainly define Lush stories as a social network, albeit in a very specific sphere.
The definition of addiction is interesting (quoting here)
Addiction is a persistent, compulsive dependence on a behavior or substance. The term has been partially replaced by the word dependence for substance abuse. Addiction has been extended, however, to include mood-altering behaviors or activities. Some researchers speak of two types of addictions: substance addictions (for example, alcoholism, drug abuse, and smoking); and process addictions (for example, gambling, spending, shopping, eating, and sexual activity). There is a growing recognition that many addicts, such as polydrug abusers, are addicted to more than one substance or process.
But more simply, if you find yourself unable to stop doing something without considerable effort then it may be an addiction. If that behaviour is also adversely affecting you or your life, then it should be considered a harmful addiction. I heard a story recently on the radio that suggested online activities such as MMOs and social networking can be more addictive than heroin. I would certainly define Lush stories as a social network, albeit in a very specific sphere.
Advanced Wordsmith
That is one badass looking cat (the upper one, not the lower who is clearly just a little pussy)
Advanced Wordsmith
Try fine grade sandpaper, exfoliates as it depilates as it excoriates. Highly efficient!
Advanced Wordsmith
When I was training as a psychiatric nurse one of the girls in the nurses home was complaining on Valentine's day that nobody fancied her or wanted her because she hadn't received a card. I went out and bought a card, anonymously wrote a lurid description of what I wanted to do to her inside it, then put it inside an envelope, complete with stamp and forged postmark, then dropped in her pigeon-hole.
Well of course, far from being pleased, she went absolutely nuts and got all paranoid that some freak was having all these sick fantasies about her. She got so upset about it that in the end I had to admit that it was me that had done it in an attempt to cheer her up. She wasn't amused but one of her friends thought this was very hot and started visiting my room for some mutual relief sessions after that, so it all worked out fine in the end.
Well of course, far from being pleased, she went absolutely nuts and got all paranoid that some freak was having all these sick fantasies about her. She got so upset about it that in the end I had to admit that it was me that had done it in an attempt to cheer her up. She wasn't amused but one of her friends thought this was very hot and started visiting my room for some mutual relief sessions after that, so it all worked out fine in the end.
Advanced Wordsmith
Popyourcherry busks naked on the corner of Tottenham Court Road underground station.
Advanced Wordsmith
I totally had to print that off and stick it on the cupboard by the fridge. Now I totally have to emigrate to escape my irate ladies, anyone got a spare room in Brazil?
Advanced Wordsmith
Right there with you Mr Nudiepants, our bathroom could teach Boots a thing or two about chemistry. (Here come the Giiiirls)
One other thing.... Why is it that when the toilet gets blocked (invariably by them) the women refuse to have anything to do with unblocking it? She tells me that's my job. Yet if I tell her she should be in the kitchen you can bet I'm in a world of hurt, and not in a sexy fun way either!
One other thing.... Why is it that when the toilet gets blocked (invariably by them) the women refuse to have anything to do with unblocking it? She tells me that's my job. Yet if I tell her she should be in the kitchen you can bet I'm in a world of hurt, and not in a sexy fun way either!
Advanced Wordsmith
I'm not sure what Honeybee is getting at here, I don't have any bad habits in the bathroom. I am constantly having to reposition the toilet seat so that when I miss the bowl I only hit the floor or bowl. Why do women insist on putting it back down again? Don't you all know that squatting over the toilet bowl is great for maintaining healthy thighs?
Same with the sink, what's the point of putting the soap in some silly little dish? You only have to take it out and put it back in the sink to use it, and then you've got an extra dish to clean in spring when you do the rest of the bathroom. As a big plus, leave a little water in the sink with the soap and it will have a nice slimy texture when you next come to use it.
Don't even get me started on the toilet paper! One sheet is plenty for all but the messiest of situations, why do women use about 2 rolls of the stuff to do a wee? (Tip of the week for those on a low income, put a pair of scissors by the toilet roll and with some practice you can get by with half a sheet) (Hot tip No 2: stop eating anything that will make your stools softer, really hard pellets is the way to go, you won't need to wipe at all then!)
Same with the sink, what's the point of putting the soap in some silly little dish? You only have to take it out and put it back in the sink to use it, and then you've got an extra dish to clean in spring when you do the rest of the bathroom. As a big plus, leave a little water in the sink with the soap and it will have a nice slimy texture when you next come to use it.
Don't even get me started on the toilet paper! One sheet is plenty for all but the messiest of situations, why do women use about 2 rolls of the stuff to do a wee? (Tip of the week for those on a low income, put a pair of scissors by the toilet roll and with some practice you can get by with half a sheet) (Hot tip No 2: stop eating anything that will make your stools softer, really hard pellets is the way to go, you won't need to wipe at all then!)
Advanced Wordsmith
Fickle is right, there is not much out there for us guys. I once bought myself a masturbator thingy, the thought of using it was much more sexy than the actually. Yes it was also very messy and difficult to clean, that was a very long time ago though, they might be better now of course. I have never used a cock ring, they look kinda painful to me and I am not sure what help they are supposed to be.
Advanced Wordsmith
I am ashamed to say this struck a few chords with me, perhaps even quite a lot of them. It's food for thought at the very least, thanks for the link.
Advanced Wordsmith
I don't remember what my wife said, but I do remember that the honeymoon suite, in a very old hotel, sloped steeply toward the street. All the furniture had legs that were longer on one side than the other to keep it straight on the top. I gallantly took the dangerous side of the bed and every time I got out almost ended up running out through the window. So glad we had the best room in the hotel coz I sure wouldn't have wanted to try any of the others.
Advanced Wordsmith
OK, I've spent the whole night awake and have nobody to talk to, so here goes...
I met my wife more than 25 years ago, and we've been together ever since. When I asked her to marry me she refused on the grounds that I was not a Christian. I continued to see her, but also went to church and found myself agreeing with the aims and philosophies I found there. Some months after that I was baptised and at the same time became engaged. I truly believed in God, still do, at least I think so. We married in June 1986 without having had sex or really discovering much about each other physically.
Once we were married things did not go well for us, as if often the case I suppose. I left my job in psychiatric nursing, and with it all my friends, largely to find a job closer to our new home. We discovered that my wife had a condition known as Vaginismus which is defined by the NHS as :
Vaginismus is when the muscles around the vagina tighten involuntarily when penetration of the vagina is attempted. It makes sexual intercourse difficult or impossible (the vagina can completely close up) and it can be painful.
We worked together at trying to overcome this problem and sought professional help. During that period, no matter how much time or effort I expended on trying to interest or excite her, all attempts at intercourse were of course, rejected. It became difficult for me to initiate sex at all, since it would only end in rejection and frustration. Eventually about 18 months after our marriage we finally managed to consummate it with intercourse. Despite all our efforts we were never really able to enjoy a satisfactory sex-life until 1989 or so when my wife became desperate to have children. At this point she began to initiate sex with me and we enjoyed what I would consider to be a normal sex life until she fell pregnant a few weeks later. Once she was pregnant sex effectively stopped altogether until she was ready to conceive a second child 2 years later.
I feel I should say at this point that marriage is not just about sex. In many ways our relationship was very good. We have never really shared many interests, but seem quite capable of pursuing our own whilst maintaining a stable home for our children. Despite which, when my wife fell pregnant a second time, and the same thing happened again, I became rather resentful. I think I blamed her religious beliefs for our sexual problems, and gradually drifted away from the church. I concentrated more on my career than on my children whilst my wife built a loving home and cultivated her relationships in the church and local community.
I became the manager of a successful shop just off Piccadilly Circus in London and made many good friends around there. However, when the freehold of the shop was bought by new landlords they yanked the rug out from beneath us causing the company to cease trading. I changed jobs a few times and commuted sometimes huge distances, to keep our home together.
We eventually moved to Bedford where I opened my own shop. Once here I became involved with my wife's new Church and things seemed to get better. Shortly after moving here my wife wanted to train as a teacher and began her training. My shop did not do terribly well since the area became fairly depressed after we moved here, and about 6 years ago we decided that we should cut our losses and close it. I suffered a near total breakdown at this point. Worry over debts and the failure of my business combining to overwhelm me, but with support (both financial and spiritual) from our church I recovered. Perversely enough I then felt unable to continue going to church for a number of reasons, both physical and psychological so once more I drifted away.
I took a part-time job driving school buses and became a house-husband so that my wife could concentrate on her studies, an arrangement that was ideal since I was able to take holidays with both wife and children. My wife graduated with distinction in 2006, getting a job straight away and receiving promotion less than a year later to head of IT. This is where we are right now, my wife has a successful career ahead of her. She effectively earns all the money in our household, whilst my career is gone and without the church or a real career I have no way to build friendships or roots in the community.
I feel completely trapped by my circumstances, utterly dependent on my wife's income, no real friends to speak of. I recently began receiving treatment for depression, something I should probably have done when I lost my business. Now I find the depression has lifted, my mind is clear for the first time in years and I have regained some of my old creativity and drive. Nonetheless I still feel trapped and unable to initiate sex with my wife. We share almost nothing in common with but our mutual background and house full of grown-up children who are rapidly heading toward complete independence. With this sudden reawakening of my mind, I am desperate to make new relationships and find a life again.
I won't ask whether I should break up with my wife, I feel that is my decision to make and in due course I will make it. What I do want to know however, is where do I go from here? How does one rebuild a life from scratch, with a job that pays so badly it is barely even feasible to pay rent on a single room, far less eat or enjoy any kind of social life. How do people survive marriage breakup? What happens next? I feel so very alone and vulnerable, it sounds weak and foolish, even to me, but after 25 years with the same woman I am simply not sure I will cope out there alone.
If anyone has had the stamina to get this far without falling asleep or moving on I want to thank you profoundly for sticking with me. You obviously care a lot more than most people. If you can offer me any advice or hope then I could really use the encouragement right now.
I met my wife more than 25 years ago, and we've been together ever since. When I asked her to marry me she refused on the grounds that I was not a Christian. I continued to see her, but also went to church and found myself agreeing with the aims and philosophies I found there. Some months after that I was baptised and at the same time became engaged. I truly believed in God, still do, at least I think so. We married in June 1986 without having had sex or really discovering much about each other physically.
Once we were married things did not go well for us, as if often the case I suppose. I left my job in psychiatric nursing, and with it all my friends, largely to find a job closer to our new home. We discovered that my wife had a condition known as Vaginismus which is defined by the NHS as :
Vaginismus is when the muscles around the vagina tighten involuntarily when penetration of the vagina is attempted. It makes sexual intercourse difficult or impossible (the vagina can completely close up) and it can be painful.
We worked together at trying to overcome this problem and sought professional help. During that period, no matter how much time or effort I expended on trying to interest or excite her, all attempts at intercourse were of course, rejected. It became difficult for me to initiate sex at all, since it would only end in rejection and frustration. Eventually about 18 months after our marriage we finally managed to consummate it with intercourse. Despite all our efforts we were never really able to enjoy a satisfactory sex-life until 1989 or so when my wife became desperate to have children. At this point she began to initiate sex with me and we enjoyed what I would consider to be a normal sex life until she fell pregnant a few weeks later. Once she was pregnant sex effectively stopped altogether until she was ready to conceive a second child 2 years later.
I feel I should say at this point that marriage is not just about sex. In many ways our relationship was very good. We have never really shared many interests, but seem quite capable of pursuing our own whilst maintaining a stable home for our children. Despite which, when my wife fell pregnant a second time, and the same thing happened again, I became rather resentful. I think I blamed her religious beliefs for our sexual problems, and gradually drifted away from the church. I concentrated more on my career than on my children whilst my wife built a loving home and cultivated her relationships in the church and local community.
I became the manager of a successful shop just off Piccadilly Circus in London and made many good friends around there. However, when the freehold of the shop was bought by new landlords they yanked the rug out from beneath us causing the company to cease trading. I changed jobs a few times and commuted sometimes huge distances, to keep our home together.
We eventually moved to Bedford where I opened my own shop. Once here I became involved with my wife's new Church and things seemed to get better. Shortly after moving here my wife wanted to train as a teacher and began her training. My shop did not do terribly well since the area became fairly depressed after we moved here, and about 6 years ago we decided that we should cut our losses and close it. I suffered a near total breakdown at this point. Worry over debts and the failure of my business combining to overwhelm me, but with support (both financial and spiritual) from our church I recovered. Perversely enough I then felt unable to continue going to church for a number of reasons, both physical and psychological so once more I drifted away.
I took a part-time job driving school buses and became a house-husband so that my wife could concentrate on her studies, an arrangement that was ideal since I was able to take holidays with both wife and children. My wife graduated with distinction in 2006, getting a job straight away and receiving promotion less than a year later to head of IT. This is where we are right now, my wife has a successful career ahead of her. She effectively earns all the money in our household, whilst my career is gone and without the church or a real career I have no way to build friendships or roots in the community.
I feel completely trapped by my circumstances, utterly dependent on my wife's income, no real friends to speak of. I recently began receiving treatment for depression, something I should probably have done when I lost my business. Now I find the depression has lifted, my mind is clear for the first time in years and I have regained some of my old creativity and drive. Nonetheless I still feel trapped and unable to initiate sex with my wife. We share almost nothing in common with but our mutual background and house full of grown-up children who are rapidly heading toward complete independence. With this sudden reawakening of my mind, I am desperate to make new relationships and find a life again.
I won't ask whether I should break up with my wife, I feel that is my decision to make and in due course I will make it. What I do want to know however, is where do I go from here? How does one rebuild a life from scratch, with a job that pays so badly it is barely even feasible to pay rent on a single room, far less eat or enjoy any kind of social life. How do people survive marriage breakup? What happens next? I feel so very alone and vulnerable, it sounds weak and foolish, even to me, but after 25 years with the same woman I am simply not sure I will cope out there alone.
If anyone has had the stamina to get this far without falling asleep or moving on I want to thank you profoundly for sticking with me. You obviously care a lot more than most people. If you can offer me any advice or hope then I could really use the encouragement right now.
Advanced Wordsmith
When I was training as a nurse I had a few female friends there who used to come to my room for a night-time cuddle. It was nice with people I know, but I'm not sure I would want to pay someone for it. Sort of seems to defeat the object to me, cuddling is about showing affection for the person not their money.