When I was 16, I could pass for 18 and so gained admission to Times Square smut shops. I discovered Elmer Batters' Thigh High. and the Parliament publications. I recall a tale in a Parliament mag about a lingerie salesgirl who tried to seduce and blackmail clients. This client turned the tables on her.
I've enjoyed print and graphic porn ever since.
Nice thread
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Paddler
Over 90 days ago
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Advanced Wordsmith
I recently researched a sport I'm not very familiar with for an upcoming story.
But when my cute 21 y. o. heroine wanted to deep throat her endowed partner, I looked up how to deep throat on the web.
Not too unusual.
Using a dildo to practice those techniques, holding my thumb and forefinger at my lips and finding I progresively moved down the shaft - I think that's dedication.
To what lengths do others go?
But when my cute 21 y. o. heroine wanted to deep throat her endowed partner, I looked up how to deep throat on the web.
Not too unusual.
Using a dildo to practice those techniques, holding my thumb and forefinger at my lips and finding I progresively moved down the shaft - I think that's dedication.
To what lengths do others go?
Advanced Wordsmith
I'm unemployed, I'd take the money.
How about turning this question into a challenge?
Write a story in the genre you hate for publication on Lush or a vignette for this forum.
hmmm.... for me, I'd combine Not my thing (gay) with revulsion (scat). I'll think about it.
Anyone else like the challenge idea?
How about turning this question into a challenge?
Write a story in the genre you hate for publication on Lush or a vignette for this forum.
hmmm.... for me, I'd combine Not my thing (gay) with revulsion (scat). I'll think about it.
Anyone else like the challenge idea?
Advanced Wordsmith
I read, vote, and comment. A story I don't finish because I made a mess probably gets a 5. 
I've given a couple of 2s and learned that Lush demands a reason.
I also track my own statistics on Excel.
If someone asks for suggestions, I often respond. I always tell the best parts that work well first.
There sure are some excellent writers here. I'm so glad to have an audience at last. I'm making new friends, neglecting my life, and I love it.
I've given a couple of 2s and learned that Lush demands a reason.
I also track my own statistics on Excel.
If someone asks for suggestions, I often respond. I always tell the best parts that work well first.
There sure are some excellent writers here. I'm so glad to have an audience at last. I'm making new friends, neglecting my life, and I love it.
Advanced Wordsmith
Thank you so very much for a beautiful and moving story. I understand how true it is. I am a life-long outdoorsman, and climbed avidly until the right knee required replacement. Now, I'm a sea kayaker.
I, too, have stood in the wilderness and been overwhelmed, felt at one with all and at peace and absolutely feral in the same instant, a feeling demanding relief which I provided in the same way as the narrator.
I'm a former teacher, professional techhical writer and editor. That having been said, there are plenty of better writers on Lush than I.
*****
My comments on Nature Lover
Title is perfect, couldn't be simpler. The double entendre is subtle.
This simple and moving story works from beginning to end. There are no inconsistencies, no poor or tricky plot devices, no attempts to play with the reader's head in ways that distract. I'm fully oriented in space and time and in the narrator's emotions. Excellent, simple, straight narrative.
It especially works that this isn't a sex story at all. It's nature writing about one woman's strong emotional response to her environment. A lot of Lush stories (my own come to mind) may have some plot, but remain tales of unending bed hopping. Your story goes far beyond that. Whosyourdaddy's commment is apt: closer to poetry than to a story.
Mechanics of grammar and punctuation: perfect
Spelling: OK but see next.
Synonyms, homonyms that spellchecker won't catch: lightening speed
Syntax: I lower myself down - redundant. "I lower myself" or sit or lie or...
Overuse of forms of to be, to have, to will: maybe a bit, but not to distraction. Verbs are apt, varied, and active voice.
Overuse of "that": People disagree on this issue. I come down on the "minimize use of that" side. Examples I feel will improve if "that" is written out of the sentence:
"fresh powder that had found", "shadow of the rock that would allow," "causing my nipples to harden to a point that was nearly painful"
Notice each of these uses of "that" is accompanied by one of the helping verbs mentioned above.
Good use of that: "love language that only we can share" Hmmmm, active voice
Paddler's quibble: "allow me the opportunity to leave this place exactly as pristine as I'd found it" I think "exactly" is not needed and detracts slightly.
Sentence structure: all good. no run-ons, good variance of length. A particularly good sentence:
"Anchor set, ropes in place, knots tied, and figure-8 in hand, I begin my descent to my quiet place."
First, you know what you're talking about. A knowledgeable reader like me uses the same checklist. More important, the list of items gives the feel of a pre-rappel as a climber would think it trough. You don't say, "I carefully check to see that the anchor is...."
Other particularly well-crafted sentences:
"I relish in the cool feel of nature's own "skin" against my own"
"a lover's touch manifested through my own hands."
"and raise my eyes to the setting sun. I smile as my lover begins his descent past the horizon," The narrator is another consort of Apollo, I see.
"Gingerly, I make my way the rest of the way down the cliff, and leave my quiet place undisturbed, unspoiled, and unruffled, just as I always do."
I will quibble on the word "just;" it's almost never needed.
This is your first effort, eh? I look forward to reading more. Thank you.
I'll send you a friend request. Let's go sea kayaking since I can't climb any more.
I, too, have stood in the wilderness and been overwhelmed, felt at one with all and at peace and absolutely feral in the same instant, a feeling demanding relief which I provided in the same way as the narrator.
I'm a former teacher, professional techhical writer and editor. That having been said, there are plenty of better writers on Lush than I.
*****
My comments on Nature Lover
Title is perfect, couldn't be simpler. The double entendre is subtle.
This simple and moving story works from beginning to end. There are no inconsistencies, no poor or tricky plot devices, no attempts to play with the reader's head in ways that distract. I'm fully oriented in space and time and in the narrator's emotions. Excellent, simple, straight narrative.
It especially works that this isn't a sex story at all. It's nature writing about one woman's strong emotional response to her environment. A lot of Lush stories (my own come to mind) may have some plot, but remain tales of unending bed hopping. Your story goes far beyond that. Whosyourdaddy's commment is apt: closer to poetry than to a story.
Mechanics of grammar and punctuation: perfect
Spelling: OK but see next.
Synonyms, homonyms that spellchecker won't catch: lightening speed
Syntax: I lower myself down - redundant. "I lower myself" or sit or lie or...
Overuse of forms of to be, to have, to will: maybe a bit, but not to distraction. Verbs are apt, varied, and active voice.
Overuse of "that": People disagree on this issue. I come down on the "minimize use of that" side. Examples I feel will improve if "that" is written out of the sentence:
"fresh powder that had found", "shadow of the rock that would allow," "causing my nipples to harden to a point that was nearly painful"
Notice each of these uses of "that" is accompanied by one of the helping verbs mentioned above.
Good use of that: "love language that only we can share" Hmmmm, active voice
Paddler's quibble: "allow me the opportunity to leave this place exactly as pristine as I'd found it" I think "exactly" is not needed and detracts slightly.
Sentence structure: all good. no run-ons, good variance of length. A particularly good sentence:
"Anchor set, ropes in place, knots tied, and figure-8 in hand, I begin my descent to my quiet place."
First, you know what you're talking about. A knowledgeable reader like me uses the same checklist. More important, the list of items gives the feel of a pre-rappel as a climber would think it trough. You don't say, "I carefully check to see that the anchor is...."
Other particularly well-crafted sentences:
"I relish in the cool feel of nature's own "skin" against my own"
"a lover's touch manifested through my own hands."
"and raise my eyes to the setting sun. I smile as my lover begins his descent past the horizon," The narrator is another consort of Apollo, I see.
"Gingerly, I make my way the rest of the way down the cliff, and leave my quiet place undisturbed, unspoiled, and unruffled, just as I always do."
I will quibble on the word "just;" it's almost never needed.
This is your first effort, eh? I look forward to reading more. Thank you.
I'll send you a friend request. Let's go sea kayaking since I can't climb any more.
Advanced Wordsmith
Sheesh! Sorry, I didn't realize what forum I was in.
So spank me, please!
How often do u Masturbate?
2-3 x a day or more if not with a partner
what is your record times in a day
Five, I think
how long do you normaly last?
5 minutes, rare, usually at least 1/2 hour, sometimes multiple sessions before I cum.
Personal best is something like 3:45 hours while writing my stories,
how you ever used a sex toy or a object?
if so what did you use?
Use a cockring to prolong (also during sex with partner)
I've tried a few toys, but not found a male masturbator I like.
When CDing get off strongly with the clothes
Place you usually do it?
At the computer, reading, writing, or viewing still or video porn
How many fingers do you put?
NA. I stroke, rubbing the cockhead, or avoiding it to prolong. Twirl tip between thumb and forefinger. Rub the underside of shaft with fingertip. squeeze the base. Slap it with hand. slap it against my thigh. lightly touch with fingertips.
Do you like watch porn?
What kind of porn?
Read, write, still, video of straight, les, Spanking, BDSM, lingerie FemdomCDing
Has anyone caught you?
Yes, uncle, friend. most embarrassing was my stepdaughter. Guy knew what I was doing on the Greyhound bus (see next q)
Do you masturbated in a public place?
what place?
Some bathrooms, Greyhound bus. parks or woods.
So spank me, please!
How often do u Masturbate?
2-3 x a day or more if not with a partner
what is your record times in a day
Five, I think
how long do you normaly last?
5 minutes, rare, usually at least 1/2 hour, sometimes multiple sessions before I cum.
Personal best is something like 3:45 hours while writing my stories,
how you ever used a sex toy or a object?
if so what did you use?
Use a cockring to prolong (also during sex with partner)
I've tried a few toys, but not found a male masturbator I like.
When CDing get off strongly with the clothes
Place you usually do it?
At the computer, reading, writing, or viewing still or video porn
How many fingers do you put?
NA. I stroke, rubbing the cockhead, or avoiding it to prolong. Twirl tip between thumb and forefinger. Rub the underside of shaft with fingertip. squeeze the base. Slap it with hand. slap it against my thigh. lightly touch with fingertips.
Do you like watch porn?
What kind of porn?
Read, write, still, video of straight, les, Spanking, BDSM, lingerie FemdomCDing
Has anyone caught you?
Yes, uncle, friend. most embarrassing was my stepdaughter. Guy knew what I was doing on the Greyhound bus (see next q)
Do you masturbated in a public place?
what place?
Some bathrooms, Greyhound bus. parks or woods.
Advanced Wordsmith
An ex GF liked the idea, as did I. She was quite hairy, growth well onto her outer labia.
I found that when I shave myself (anywhere), my skin gives me feedback, but hers couldn't. I shaved the outer skin no prob, but really didn't like doing that on the cuntlips. Couldn't gauge the right pressure. She finished. The end result was the same - beautiful pussy, lube, great sex.
I found that when I shave myself (anywhere), my skin gives me feedback, but hers couldn't. I shaved the outer skin no prob, but really didn't like doing that on the cuntlips. Couldn't gauge the right pressure. She finished. The end result was the same - beautiful pussy, lube, great sex.
Advanced Wordsmith
I haven't used that method, Nicola, but this works and doesn't require going offsite:
In a private chat, click the bottom line and hold the left mouse button. Scroll up to the top of the chat. You can get it all.
When it's selected, press Control + C (Mac, Command + C) to put the chat on your clipboard.
You can open Lush's message client and press Control + V (Mac, Command + V) to paste the text to send to the administrators to report some suspect chat.
I used this method recently to report a very edgy session that gave me the creeps.
Alternatively, you can open any text editor or word processor and paste the text there.
You can use this method to save a particularly memorable cyber session that doesn't need reporting but which merits re-reading.
In a private chat, click the bottom line and hold the left mouse button. Scroll up to the top of the chat. You can get it all.
When it's selected, press Control + C (Mac, Command + C) to put the chat on your clipboard.
You can open Lush's message client and press Control + V (Mac, Command + V) to paste the text to send to the administrators to report some suspect chat.
I used this method recently to report a very edgy session that gave me the creeps.
Alternatively, you can open any text editor or word processor and paste the text there.
You can use this method to save a particularly memorable cyber session that doesn't need reporting but which merits re-reading.
Advanced Wordsmith
I agree with Sweet Penny and Sprite. I like some grounding in reality.
The actual sexual encounter may be far fetched if you think back and analyze it, but if the basis is grounded in reality and the story elements are consistent, the story can work.
Some of my Candy Stroker series takes place in a hospital. It's very likely that a modern hospital has a male septuagenarian patient who has been aroused by girdles, garters, and stockings since 1950. But it's rather unlikely that he'll be attended by two nurses in sexy lingerie who are willing to give him the thrill of a lifetime.
However, if the willingness of the nurses to take risks for a quick sexual thrill and their prior interest in lingerie is established, the reader (who wants it to happen) is quite willing to suspend disbelief, and the story works and soon the reader makes a mess.
My point is that writers set up the story to make the unlikely parts plausible.
The actual sexual encounter may be far fetched if you think back and analyze it, but if the basis is grounded in reality and the story elements are consistent, the story can work.
Some of my Candy Stroker series takes place in a hospital. It's very likely that a modern hospital has a male septuagenarian patient who has been aroused by girdles, garters, and stockings since 1950. But it's rather unlikely that he'll be attended by two nurses in sexy lingerie who are willing to give him the thrill of a lifetime.
However, if the willingness of the nurses to take risks for a quick sexual thrill and their prior interest in lingerie is established, the reader (who wants it to happen) is quite willing to suspend disbelief, and the story works and soon the reader makes a mess.
My point is that writers set up the story to make the unlikely parts plausible.
Advanced Wordsmith
Right, I know what you mean. And sometimes, as a screener, you have to read the story whether you like it or not, I suppose. Thanks for the "sacrifice."
I recently read as story that had a good basic situation. The two main characters, a man and a woman, were described as "she" and "you," but the story was told from her point of view. I read the story mainly to figure out what person it was written in. Never did figure it out. Omniscent 2nd person? Doesn't make sense. The best I came up with was "choose the other person's own adventure."
That having been said, I've made numerous mistakes, such as shifting point of view in a story for children. If I'd carefully read several successful stories for kids, I would have picked up that changing points of view isn't done in that genre 'cause it confuses the kids.
I know what I know, and one thing I know is that I have a lot to learn.
I recently read as story that had a good basic situation. The two main characters, a man and a woman, were described as "she" and "you," but the story was told from her point of view. I read the story mainly to figure out what person it was written in. Never did figure it out. Omniscent 2nd person? Doesn't make sense. The best I came up with was "choose the other person's own adventure."
That having been said, I've made numerous mistakes, such as shifting point of view in a story for children. If I'd carefully read several successful stories for kids, I would have picked up that changing points of view isn't done in that genre 'cause it confuses the kids.
I know what I know, and one thing I know is that I have a lot to learn.
Advanced Wordsmith
First, I thank you all for taking the time to respond.
I'm glad to report that puckbunii received my compliments and suggestions as such and tried some of them and found them helpful. She sent me a thank you note. I feel we'll hear more from her in the future.
The responses here show me that I'm bothered more by anonymous, spaceless beginnings than others. Guess I should try to get over it.
Thanks again, all.
I'm glad to report that puckbunii received my compliments and suggestions as such and tried some of them and found them helpful. She sent me a thank you note. I feel we'll hear more from her in the future.
The responses here show me that I'm bothered more by anonymous, spaceless beginnings than others. Guess I should try to get over it.
Thanks again, all.
Advanced Wordsmith
I did send the author a message with compliments about specific aspects of the story at the beginning. I also told her that the overall quality of the story far overshadowed the suggestions I had. I included some suggestions to improve the story.
I have not heard back from her yet, but it's only been a few hours.
I guess others aren't as bothered as I by this kind of writing. Hmmmm.....
I have not heard back from her yet, but it's only been a few hours.
I guess others aren't as bothered as I by this kind of writing. Hmmmm.....
Advanced Wordsmith
{rant} I don't understand the proclivity of many writers of erotic fiction to have stories begin with the protagonist in some situation that's undefined. The reader doesn't know who the narrator or subject is, doesn't know where they are or how they got there, only that they're being kissed, or hung from the ceiling or have their cock in a vise grip. I think writers who use this "device" feel that it gives an air of mystery and is intriguing. It isn't. It's disorienting and confusing. I think it's just plain sloppy writing, frankly. It may be that a writer overcomes "writer's block" by such a beginning, but then the writer should return and fix the beginning. {/rant}Occasionally, a device like this works, typically in a noir detective novel in which our hero gets brained at the end of one chapter and wakes up who knows where in the next, but in those circumstances we at least know who he is and that he got coshed.
I frequently stop reading in the first sentence with a beginning like that.
This topic was inspired by a new writer for Lush, puckbunii, whose story, Keep the noise down, had such a beginning. The opening sentence was otherwise brilliant, imo, so I kept reading and I'm glad I did. The story as a whole works very well.
What do others think of anonymous beginnings in unknown space and time?
Advanced Wordsmith
I wonder what the screeners who approve stories look for besides terms of use violations.
Are stories with too many misspellings, bad punctuation or grammar rejected?
A member sent me a story for editorial suggestions. I'll work with the author, for sure. But sentences with no periods, absolutely no use of quotations in dialog, and other basic lapses shouldn't be allowed. I haven't seen anything that poor, so I wonder what standards are used.
I suppose I could write something awful and put in gratuitous errors, but that hardly seems respectful.
Paddler
Are stories with too many misspellings, bad punctuation or grammar rejected?
A member sent me a story for editorial suggestions. I'll work with the author, for sure. But sentences with no periods, absolutely no use of quotations in dialog, and other basic lapses shouldn't be allowed. I haven't seen anything that poor, so I wonder what standards are used.
I suppose I could write something awful and put in gratuitous errors, but that hardly seems respectful.
Paddler
Advanced Wordsmith
I'd certainly use it. If possible, I could upload my own PDFs for approval, have them linked to one another.
My nearly complete series, the Candy Striper, can be made into PDF in minutes. I might be a good Beta tester for this project.
It may be possible to license Acrobat Distiller so that folks can drop a file in a folder on Lush's server and have it create a PDF automatically. However, I think the resulting PDF would have to be on Lush's server.
Paddler
My nearly complete series, the Candy Striper, can be made into PDF in minutes. I might be a good Beta tester for this project.
It may be possible to license Acrobat Distiller so that folks can drop a file in a folder on Lush's server and have it create a PDF automatically. However, I think the resulting PDF would have to be on Lush's server.
Paddler
Advanced Wordsmith
I've made PDFs of my stories for years. When the editing process is done, I add pictures and movies. That gets hot.
I do like Adobe products and have FrameMaker and Acrobat, both of which make excellent PDFs. Frame is an authoring tool used by technical and textbook authors.
One problem with this approach is that there must be a release for each picture/clip.
Are you thinking of making PDF available on Lush?
Paddler
I do like Adobe products and have FrameMaker and Acrobat, both of which make excellent PDFs. Frame is an authoring tool used by technical and textbook authors.
One problem with this approach is that there must be a release for each picture/clip.
Are you thinking of making PDF available on Lush?
Paddler