Ich komme, ich komme, grünende Brüder… “I am coming, I am coming,” I sing, as my soft arms extend heavenwards – curling, flexing, fashioning out of my imagination leaves, vines, boughs of ash and laurel – as I embrace the gift of mother-goddess to water-nymph. Below me, strings churn and gambol, myriad-divided, like the viridescent light which shines dappled through my branches. Sinewy lines of unseen woodwind twist and...

  I’m a scientist, you know. Actually, I’m a doctor. I fix people. And I know how. So I don’t believe in miracles or the paranormal. Generally speaking, things happen for a reason, according to relatively predictable principles. My job is to learn what those principles are and to work with them. My name’s Lucy, and my specialism is sex. Sounds fun, you think? Yes, it is – but perhaps not always the way you might expect. I...

“Ah, Mrs Stubbs! Do come in.” Mrs Stubbs was, in contradistinction to her name, tall, slender and elegant, with pale skin, gently slanting oriental eyes, her black hair formed into a soft bob which, indeed, bobbed winsomely as she entered the consulting room, smiled cautiously, and sat facing Dr Gaia’s large mock-oak desk. The doctor was, by contrast, large and buxom, with frizzy black hair, her dark skin rich and glowing...

CUNT IS A CONCEPT! proclaimed a banner, in gaudy capital letters. A WOMAN’S RIGHT TO COCK! demanded another. FUTA RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS! announced a third. And a fourth posed the existential question: ASSIGNED CUNT AT BIRTH…? “God, look at them,” sneered Gaia, as she stood by her window watching the crowds demonstrating up and down the length of Harley Street. “always thinking they’re entitled to more! Do you know, I ha...