Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

If you were a sea gull whose head would you poo on?

last reply
139 replies
9.8k views
0 watchers
0 likes
DanielleX
Head Penguin
It can be someone you know or someone in the public gaze...

If I were a sea gull, I'd poo on Michael Gove's head. Not for political reasons, but because he's just creepy.

A First Class Service Ch.5

A steamy lesbian three way
Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by DanielleX
It can be someone you know or someone in the public gaze...

If I were a sea gull, I'd poo on Michael Gove's head. Not for political reasons, but because he's just creepy.


Many people believe that getting pooed on by a bird is lucky (to do with good fortune being given in return for the crap, or blessings from Heaven coming your way).

So rather than being a shitehawk (as fishermen round here call gulls), I would much rather be an elephant with the squits crapping on people I don't like. And I have long list, starting with politicians, two groups of "organised" racists, and people who judge and say cruel things about other people who don't look the way they think they ought to.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

 ***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
naughtyannie
God Empress of Lush
I wouldn't crap on anyone for their politics, just cos I didn't agree with them.

But I would crap on Justin Bieber. Do I need to give a reason lol?

22 February 2024 - How about a quick plug for one of my filthiest recent stories? It's all in the title - Naked Pool Party Swingers | Lush Stories Please read, comment and maybe give it a ❤️ - or even a⭐ if you really enjoy it! Thank you! Annie xxx
Guest
Lurker
OMG, I just can't stop laughing at the title....

If I were a seagull I would save up one whole years crap and drop it all at once on the person I dislike the most, and hope he drowned in it.
Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by naughtyannie
I wouldn't crap on anyone for their politics, just cos I didn't agree with them.

But I would crap on Justin Bieber. Do I need to give a reason lol?


It's not for their politics I disagreed with that I'd be crapping on them. It's for the lying, cover-ups, and stuff-the-vulnerable-as-long-as-my-mates-are-okay actions. If any politician doesn't do that, then they'd have nothing to fear.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

 ***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Poppet
Cheeky Chick
Quote by naughtyannie
I wouldn't crap on anyone for their politics, just cos I didn't agree with them.

But I would crap on Justin Bieber. Do I need to give a reason lol?


Me too, we can do it together. The reason is obvious.
jollylolly
Active Ink Slinger
Michael Douglas. I don't know why, but I'm pretty sure he deserves it.
Guest
Lurker
I think the easier question is who's head I would not have them go on.
Tranquil
Active Ink Slinger
The person who deserves it the most isn't worth the Poop!
Shaman
Active Ink Slinger
my girlfriends ex
mentalcase
Active Ink Slinger
Toss up. Miley Cyrus or Justin Beiber. They both suck
Guest
Lurker
The Busch Brothers and their race cars ...for being so degum annoying
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
LMFAO OMG im gonna be a frequent visitor to this forum I love it.

Top of my list is my ex husband, been divorced over 10 years and I still hate his fucking guts, I would so crap on his head if I was a seagull, after id gorged on prunes lol

After that I'd fly straight over to Victoria Beckhams place, cant stand that silly bitch either
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
simplyjohn
Site administrator
For sure my manager at work and after that bitch the director .. I would also eat loads of egg curry for several days previously.
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Quote by simplyjohn
For sure my manager at work and after that bitch the director .. I would also eat loads of egg curry for several days previously.


I concur but may I suggest gorging on ex lax after your week long curry fest...just an idea?? what say you sexy??
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Guest
Lurker
oh my... John sweet man I am about to upset the apple cart... u see I was raised to believe.. and in my world it is the case.. that to be hit by a seagull of any type of bird.. is LUCKY !!!!

so I would have to say .. in answer to you.. I would have to choose only those on whom I wished good fortune... so don't u dare duck.... giggles
simplyjohn
Site administrator
Joking aside I did get pooped on one time at the beach and I admit my family did indeed say that was supposed to be lucky. However subsequently a round of drinks in the pub cost me a fortune, my bloody steak that night was over cooked and given the opportunity for sex I couldnt manage an erection. I now take an umbrella to the beach with me .. just saying.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by trinket


OMG, I just can't stop laughing at the title....

If I were a seagull I would save up one whole years crap and drop it all at once on the person I dislike the most, and hope he drowned in it.




Ditto for me, but mine would someone on here that has hurt me very much!
Unknown User
I would poo on justin bieber and taylor swift
Guest
Lurker
Quote by BrownEyedBabyGirl89
I would poo on justin bieber and taylor swift


THANK YOU! I can't STAND those TWO! So, I would poo WITH you!!
Unknown User
Quote by SugarBaby2013


THANK YOU! I can't STAND those TWO! So, I would poo WITH you!!


You're welcome
wjackl
Advanced Wordsmith
Congress
MissLacy
Rookie Scribe
Great question.

I would poo on all the men with Speedos at the beach that have untrimmed bushes.

smile

Just for fun ya know?
LYFBUZ
Troublemaker
Quote by kiera
Sir Alex Ferguson lol
More importantly tho is Diego Maradona, Dude Fuck you and fuck the hand of God you cheating bastard it was a hand ball




I think you meant FAT cheating cokehead bastard?

I'd crap all over Kanye West and bring all my seagull friends...
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Quote by LYFBUZ


I think you meant FAT cheating cokehead bastard?

I'd crap all over Kanye West and bring all my seagull friends...


LMFAO yeah you said it better, well done lol xo

I'd crap on Kylie Minogue
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
curvygalore
Bonnet Flaunter
Danny you are a genius!! Not only for the title but for suggesting Michael Gove.... *giggles helplessly*
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by kiera
New teacher @ my kids school the fucking woman is a retard, im so gonna get her fucking fired the C**t


I would shit on kiera's head. So she could be a literal shit head and not just a figurative shit head.