Is it wrong to have a sexual relationship between races? That answer should be the same as whether or not it is ok for a 19 year old to have a relationship with a middle-aged person (gender omitted). Is it ok for these same two people to get married? Race and age should have no bearing on these questions as long as no laws are broken. I've known a couple deeply in love that married with at least a 25 year age difference (he was in his 70s). She stated that he was the kindest man she had ever known.
I think it's a little old. If my daughter was dating a mid aged man at 19 I'd be upset. If he were a wealthy man, I might be more inclined to let it slip.
Hugs,
Mysteria
IMHO, if she's 19 she should be sleeping around a bit and having fun, instead of tying herself down to some older guy. Younger guys may not have much money, but they don't half have staying power in bed! And they don't get too upset when you dump them.
Or was that just me?
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As Muddy Mississippi Waters once said, "If she wasn't a young girl I wouldn't be fightin' over her. I'd kill a man for a young girl" Ohhh Yeahhh.
Up to them. If it were a 19 year old guy and this middle aged woman, I'd be allover him. LOL
Our society has a double standard for men and women in relationships (as in so many other things!) What's acceptable behavior for men is at most marginally acceptable for women. A young woman in a relationship with an older man is a gold-digger (or worse). An older (divorced, usually) man in a relationship with the younger woman is a stud. Change the sexes, and we still get the shitty end of the stick -- I don't see "Cougar" as especially complimentary.
In the past this wasn't quite the case: older men commonly married younger women. It took some time to establish himself in the world as someone who could support a wife and family. The problem with this (from my point of view, anyway) is that it condemns women to extended widowhoods (unless she dies in childbirth, another adverse consequence...). All systems have compromises, you have to pick yours.
All that said, I tend to think there is something to the rule of thumb that says the lower bound is half your age plus seven years. For a 32 year old, that says the lower end is somewhere in the neighborhood of 23 years. By that rule, a 19 y.o. is a bit on the young side. I think the rule of thumb is a decent idea to assure some broadly shared cultural references.
That's my tuppence worth, take it as worth what you paid for it.
I have never had that experience but I cant see why it could not be a great experience providing she wasn't being exploited.
Why would it be any different to a 19 yo guy and a middle aged woman.
Hmmm the question is a bit sextist. Older man with younger woman. Why not older woman younger man? When I was 18 I had a older woman as lover. (Late thirties). It was special and will never forget.
Besides middle aged men usually have ED problems. I'm glad it was 19. Any younger he could get arrested for assault with a dead weapon.
If two people want to get close, (and she or he is above the age of consent, of course), of course it is ok. Next question.
“It's nice sometimes to open up the heart a little and let some hurt come in. It proves you're still alive.”
Well like a girl said above it's totally a society double standard for us girls. Hey my mom dates guys much younger and I know she gets like funny looks. But look she's in amazing shape, does yoga and she really likes how younger guys make her feel. It makes her happy and I say....hey whatever rocks your boat mom. At first I was uncomfortable and I was nervous what my Gf's would think....but actually they were totally down with it more than me. Jenny even got my mom to come clubbing with us....she was like totally cool with it and helped me get over my hangups. Now for me I've always been attracted to older guys? Whatever.....get over it. I mean not like slobs with guts....but guys who take care of themselves and have a lot to offer a girl. I know guys who are in their forties who look like they are like early thirties and plus their brain is active and they are doing interesting shit in their life. C'mon totally admit it girls a confident older guy who has a nice body, who smells amazing, picks you up in a nice car and never says a totally dumb-shit thing the whole evening? Well that's sorta nice right. Okay my two-cents girls. Whatever.....does it even make sense?
I'm going to toss in another thought here. Dan Savage says that in relationships where one partner has much more experience than the other, the experienced partner should practice what calls "campground rules." When someone's camping, she should: (1) Not do any deliberate damage; (2) Pick up after herself; and, (3) Leave the campsite in better shape than she found it.
If a 53 year old started dating a 19 year old then I wouldn't see an issue with it, if it's between consenting adults. It's none of my business (or anyone else's) what y'all do or who you date... BUT
If they've been in a relationship for the past 5 years, then I would take major issue with it. That's disgusting predatory behaviour and the 53 year old needs to be arrested and locked up.
I don't think there's anything "wrong" about such a relationship in the legal sense and perhaps not in any moral sense. However, my knee jerk reaction is the relationship is likely to be unfair in some sense. The older person, who probably has more money and certainly has more real life experience, is likely to essentially be taking advantage of the 19 year old. I'm a middle aged guy - I think it would be wrong for me to enter into such a relationship because I think such a relationship is inherently unfair. I like to think I wouldn't automatically condemn another guy for "going there" but I wouldn't bet much on the long term chances for the couple.
This is more complicated than it appears.
My first reaction was if it really is an affair of the heart, who cares what the age difference is.
Then I remembered all the sleazy old men who have tried to pick me up. Many of them made me very uncomfortable.
So I would have to say it's ok if a relationship develops between an older man and much younger woman but old men who go looking for girls young enough to be their daughters or granddaughters, are a bit creepy.
I dated my first older man when I was 18, he was 39. I don't regret it one minute nor did I ever think it was wrong. You're an adult so do what makes you happy!
It's not illegal. As long as you are both consenting and not being pressured into it, it's okay!
My girlfriend is much younger and richer than me. Relationships are not in some sort of pre-determined formula - you either click or you don't and react accordingly. Walking around with a sort of moral/age limit/financial template is corny and very dated and seeing such opinions on a site dedicated to a celebration of sexuality is an even bigger joke.
What guy doesn't think that this sounds hot?
If the 19 year old is good with it, and is mentally mature enough to handle the relationship, then I don't see a problem.
Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!
I don't think there is anything wrong with it. But I think the girl would be losing her chance to be young and single for the first time. And that's a lot of fun. More importantly, it teaches you a lot about life, and sex, and relationships.
Honestly, do what makes you happy.
