The sensation of being deep inside of her, her pussy so tight and hot around my cock and her long legs wrapped around my body was almost my undoing. I tried to hold still for a moment to give the powerful sensations an opportunity to ease a little, but, caught up in her own orgasm, she was using her long legs around my hips to pull herself against me, to drive me in to the hilt and complete her own climax. I’d waited so long for this moment that I needed desperately to hold out, to last; I didn’t want it to end almost before it had begun!

It was a near thing, but her nails digging into my back and her teeth on the tender flesh at the base of my neck, though not terribly painful, were enough of a distraction for me to regain control. I’m sure I came in her a little; the sensations had been too powerful to have been totally unproductive, but I’d managed to delay the main event, and when she recovered enough to allow me to I again took control of the rhythm.

Now, finally, this was what I’d wanted and looked forward to for so long. I made love to her as best I knew how and in every sense of the word; I loved her desperately, so it wasn’t a challenge so much as it was an unsurpassed joy. I kissed her and I told her how beautiful she was, and I tried – and succeeded, I think – to give her as much pleasure as I could. Both of us intensely focused, she reached several orgasms, and when I finally came some minutes later she rode yet another one with me.

Afterward, both of us stunned and breathing heavily and with my weight resting partly on her where we were still joined, I raised up on my elbows and looked down into her eyes. They were smoky with arousal, her face flushed and dewy with sex sweat, and she breathed, “My god, Heath…”

I kissed her again, and then softly on each eyelid as she closed her eyes. “You’re so incredible, and so beautiful, and so damn sexy and amazing. Teri, I…”

When I paused, she opened her eyes and looked up into mine. “You what?”

I’d almost said, ‘I love you,’ but stopped myself. Now I said, “I’ve wanted you for so long, just for me and just for a little while. Thank you.”

“Oh, Heath! Don't thank me, that was amazing... I think I’ve wanted you as much as you wanted me.”

I doubted that, but it was sweet to hear. “That was incredible. I love the way you feel against me, around me.”

“I love the way you feel in me too, so big and thick. Don’t pull out.”

“No.” And I didn’t. I just enjoyed every detail of her that I could, knowing it might be a once in a lifetime thing, but the inevitable finally happened and when my cock finally got soft and bendy enough it slipped easily out of her in a gush of cum.

She laughed. “Oops! You were right earlier when you said it had a mind of its own.”

“Not much of one, since it’s apparently too stupid to realize when it’s got a good thing going.” I gently moved off her and lay alongside where I could suck her nipples and cup my hand over her sex, my fingers playing between her puffy lips in the slick of our juices.

She moved under my touch, and moaned, and said, “You love that, don’t you?”

“What?”

“Touching me, when I’m full of cum; yours or Jake’s.”

I’d never really thought about it. “Yeah, I guess I really do. I love the way you feel, so soft and wet and slippery.”

“I love when you do it. It feels amazing, and for some reason it makes me feel so loved.”

Again I almost said the easy thing, that she was so loved, but again caught myself. Instead, I bent and kissed her, then kissed down her chest and down her tummy to her sex, and when I parted her legs and ran my tongue up and down her cum-slick pussy, she said, “Ohh, Heath, my god…”

This wasn’t something I did much, go down on her when she’d just finished with either of us; that was more in Jake’s wheelhouse, but if I couldn’t tell her how much she was loved I could show her, and I did, several times, and I thought we were delicious together.

After, when she’d caught her breath, she said, “Come on, join me in the shower.”

I’m pretty sure there’s not a fool alive that would have turned down that offer, and while I’ve never had any desire to work in a carwash, if a woman-wash ever opens, I’ll be first in the employment line.

Touching her wet, soapy body, exploring every nook and cranny and her exploring mine – including a soapy finger deep in my ass, a favor I returned – was incredible and erotic, and I was soon rock hard and throbbing, but the best part of all may have been shampooing her hair.

I’d never had an opportunity to do that before, but it may have been the most sensual, intimate, and loving thing I’d ever done to that point in my life, and when she closed her eyes and moaned softly and I felt her body relax under my touch, my fingers entangled in her sudsy locks as I massaged her scalp, I wanted it to go on and on.

It couldn’t, of course, and when she bent under the spray for me to help rinse out the shampoo, her ass pressed tight to my aching erection as I reached over her, I pushed myself into the valley between her cheeks as I ran my fingers through her hair. When she slid her wet, slippery ass on me I suddenly came all over her lower back, groaning as I fountained cum on her.

She laughed when I sheepishly apologized, and when I tried to go down on her in the shower to make up for it and nearly drowned, she laughed again, and it was all good. After, half-dried, I lifted her onto the vanity and knelt between her legs, where I tongued her from squeaky-clean rosebud to erect, jutting clit, thrusting my tongue into thrustable spots and sucking on suckable things. I could still taste me in her pussy, and by the time she’d come three more times I was hard again.

When I rose to my feet and moved forward between her legs to enter her, she stopped me, her hand on my stomach. “Wait, I have a better idea. Finish drying off and join me in bed.”

“You sure? I mean, this would work…” I took my cock in hand and rubbed the tip up and down between her lips, being sure to bump her little nubbin and getting myself lubricated.

“Mmm, god…”

I pushed a little closer, pressing just the head of my cock into her velvet heat, and I felt her shudder. “See?” I moved it in and out of her several times, just the head, teasing her, and I felt her body tremble again in response. “This could work just fine.”

“Stop it! Ohhh, you’re gonna make me… uhhh, mmm, oh, oh god, ohhh GOD, fuck, fuuuck!” She came hard, and I pushed all the way into her and held there as she bucked against me.

When she finished, she blew out a cleansing breath and looked up at me, her eyes wide. “Jesus… You didn’t come…?”

I smiled. “No, and don’t call me Jesus. It felt like you did though unless I’m reading the signs wrong.”

She laughed. “God, you’re such a putz!”

I have no idea where she’d picked that up – she’s not Jewish – but somewhere along the line she’d heard it was Yiddish for penis, which she hadn’t known, and she told me once – in front of Jake - that I had a nice putz and then laughed hysterically. I guess she thought it was a funny word. After that, she called me that occasionally, usually when I’d do something silly or something to intentionally get a rise out of her, but always affectionately. I didn’t mind; I’ve been called far worse things.

“So, now that we’ve done it your way will you take that thing out of me and try it my way?”

“It's pretty happy where it is, but if you insist.”

We both watched as I gradually slid out of her, each wet, glistening, rock-hard inch slowly reappearing, and she gasped when I came free but quickly hopped down off the countertop.

Saying, “Hurry! Dry off and come back to bed,” she disappeared out the door.

I finished in record time, propelled by her sense of urgency and my own aching sex, and when I rounded the corner I was rewarded by the sight of Teri on her knees on the bed, ass high in the air and toward me and her face and chest down on the bed. Her horny pussy was on glorious display, wet, pink and ready, her knees about eighteen inches apart. I could barely breathe, I was so captivated by the sight; I stopped and stared.

She reached under her tummy and parted her lips, stroking herself with her fingers and giving me a few seconds to enjoy it, then wiggled her butt. “Well?”

“Well… damn, that’s so perfect. I wish I had a camera.” This was her favorite position, ass in the air and doggy-style, I was well aware of that; it’s also one of mine.

I’ve read since that day that it’s a submissive posture, one of supplication, but it was never that for her unless perhaps she was begging to be fucked; Teri is not at all submissive. For her, it was simply an offer she knew no man – certainly not me or Jake – could ever turn down, and it suited her needs perfectly.

“No cameras.”

“No, of course.” I crossed to her and softly caressed her ass, stroked her pussy lips, and then kneeled and began to pay homage to her beauty in the best way I knew how. I licked her, I kissed her ass, I toyed with her stiff little clit, I rimmed her and tongued her opening and sucked her clit and made her come, and then I rose and entered her and held myself deep, my balls against her pussy.

I groaned when I felt her squeeze me. “Mmm, god. You’re incredible.”

“Mmm-hmm… you like?”

“No, I love. You feel so amazing inside, I just want to stay forever.”

“I love the way you fill me; it feels so good.”

“Me too.”

“I want you to come in me again.”

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem; the problem might be not letting it happen in the next fifteen seconds.”

“It’s all right if you do.”

I grabbed her hips and pulled her back tight against my groin, driving myself in to the hilt, and she cried out.

“No, I was kidding. Sort of, I hope; I don’t think that’s going to be an issue since I already came twice.”

“Good. Then fuck me.”

So I did, laying into her with long, deep thrusts, my balls slapping into her vulva with each thrust. I varied my pace and intensity each time she approached orgasm, trying to give her the best ones possible, and at one point I lay across her back, my arms around her where I could squeeze and fondle her breasts as I continued to drive myself into her with hip action only.

When I straightened again, I reached around her hip and under her tummy where I could finger her hard little nub and she came again, and again moments later when I made my thumb slick with saliva and pushed it slowly into her ass.

I was starting to feel like Superman, going on and on and driving the love of my life to one glorious orgasm after another, exercising my superpower of self-control, but then she reached back between her legs and began to fondle my balls. Extremely vulnerable to that particular Kryptonite, I completely lost my rhythm and thrust deep into her. “Ohh, fuck, Teri!”

“Nice rack, stud… Now come in me. Do it, come on!”

“I am… I’m… oohhh, fuck, yes!” I held myself deep, pumping and spurting uncontrollably; my third ejaculation in a relatively short time, I ached slightly inside as my cock pumped and flexed, but it hurt so fucking good!

She showed no mercy on me, continuing to squeeze and fondle my aching danglers and stroke my taint with a fingertip as I emptied myself into her, and when I was done my cock remained temporarily hard, but the rest of me was limp.

I managed to mutter, “Nice rack, huh?” and we both laughed at her silliness, but at that moment I completely understood Jake’s de rigueur post-sex naps.

We both fell asleep for a while after that, after I’d slid out of her and we'd curled up with her in my arms. We woke up famished and I remembered I’d promised to take her out to dinner, but it was late and neither of us wanted to put clothes on.

We cleaned up a little, enough so that she wouldn’t have cum running down her legs and scrounged the kitchen; this being a college students’ apartment, we found Ramen noodles, a box of Cheerios, a partial loaf of bread, some Pop-Tarts, and a jar of peanut butter. We settled on peanut butter sandwiches with a Pop-Tarts chaser, washed down with a rum and Coke; dinner of champions. Appropriately replenished, we went back to bed.

We talked about Jake then, what we’d done to him, how he’d react, the betrayal he’d inevitably feel, and I felt like crap. I knew I’d instigated the whole thing, that Teri’s betrayal of him was entirely on my head and that my betrayal might even be harder on him than hers was. There was never any question of not telling him, of hiding it or covering it up; we both saw the unfairness of that and knew we’d be unsuccessful in any event, that he’d know, and the attempt to lie would be just another betrayal.

There was no inkling at all that she had any intention of replacing him with me, nor had I expected one; we all knew she was his, but now we had to deal with having done something we knew would hurt him.

We resolved to talk to him when he came back, hopefully on Sunday before I had to go back to Wyoming, and then Teri called him to see how his Uncle Harley was doing. Turns out he’d had an aneurysm on his renal artery which had partially burst, causing internal bleeding. He was going to be okay, but they weren’t yet certain whether they’d saved the kidney. That was mostly good news.

He said he’d probably hang around another day or two, and she didn’t mention me being there, although she told him she’d let me know about Harley. Breaking the news to him on the phone was not on the agenda.

It was funny; she was much less concerned than I was, assuring me he’d be surprised, but otherwise okay with it. I was much less sure of that. Still, our concern didn’t keep us from heading back to bed for more lovemaking. I wasn’t yet ready for this opportunity to draw to a close.

I knew that after three times I wasn’t going to instantly pop up, so I pulled her down onto my face, reverse cowgirl style with my nose tickling her bum. I’d sort of forgotten that she still had the better part of my last load in her, but it turned out I tasted pretty good with rum and coke and Teri mixed in. She soon realized why I’d positioned her like that and lay over me in a relaxed 69, applying a little mouth-to-cock resuscitation, pulling my foreskin back and licking the head until I began to respond and then taking me deep into her mouth and throat; I could have gone for that all the way to completion.

Teri, however, knew what she wanted, and when I was good and hard moved down and rode me, applying the spurs and sticking to me like a burr until we’d managed to last well over the eight-second minimum required by the PRCA. When I came, filling her yet again, she held still as I pumped away, enjoying the spasms of my cock inside her while she squeezed my balls.

Then we slept again, waking up in the middle of the night for a long, slow session of lovemaking. I entered her from behind as she spooned into my groin and held her in my arms as we slowly moved together in the eternal dance, and when I again spilled my seed in her I stayed in her and continued to hold her as we quietly talked for a long time, like lovers do. I wanted so badly to tell her how much I loved her, but I didn’t.

We slept again, the room suffused with the scent of sex and at some point, my exhausted cock slipped out of her. When next I awoke she remained in my arms and it was light outside, and Jake was standing at the foot of the bed, his face unreadable.

~~~~~~~~~

What do you say in a moment like that? I had no idea, but eventually, I managed, “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” He sat down on the foot of the bed, near Teri’s feet as she woke up and looked at him. I was shocked that he didn’t seem more outraged, or at least surprised, then I remembered that my Jeep was parked out front.

Teri said, “Hi sweetie… I didn’t expect you back this early.”

He snorted. “Huh! Yeah, obviously.”

I said, “How’s Harley doing?”

He looked at me. “He’s going to be fine; there were so many of us there I was just in the way, so I came home. Is that all you’re going to say, ‘how’s Harley’?”

He didn’t seem terribly angry, no ranting, no stomping or threats. He seemed very sad, very hurt and confused like he didn’t know quite what to say or do. Like us, in other words, and like he couldn’t process what we’d done to him. That hurt worse than if he’d screamed at me or hit me.

“What’s there to say, Jake? It happened, and I’m sorry – and it’s entirely my fault, by the way.”

“It takes two to tango, as they say.” He looked at Teri as he said it, then back at me. “Why are you even here?”

“I came down just to hang out, so we could keep each other company, and to help Teri clean up the place for when you move out. I didn’t plan this. It just happened.” I hoped that was true; in my heart, I wasn’t sure it was, and while I felt horrible about hurting him, I wouldn’t trade the last twenty-four hours for anything.

“Why don’t you two get cleaned up; we can go sit in the kitchen. This room smells like you… like fucking.”

He stood and backed off a step, then waited. When we realized he had no intention of leaving us alone we went ahead and got up; Teri pulled a sheet around her waist before she stood, leaving her breasts bare, and I grabbed my shirt off the floor and held it in front of me as I got up. There was some sense in her move; I figured she was trying to spare him the sight of my cum running down her legs.

I don’t know why I felt like I needed to cover myself. Maybe it was just embarrassment at having been caught or the hostility in the room. When he laughed, there was bitterness in it. “I’ve seen both of you naked a thousand times, you know; I guess that makes this my fault, in a way.”

“No. You trusted me, and I let you down. I’m sorry, Jake, really I am, but you have to believe me when I tell you I instigated the whole thing.”

“Oh, I believe that; the question is why. Why now, after all this time, and just a few weeks before we’re getting married?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because of that, because I knew everything was about to change; maybe I freaked. Honestly, though, I don’t know. I screwed up.”

Teri said, “We screwed up.”

I said, “No…” but Jake cut me off.

“Yeah, but mostly him. He shouldn’t even be here; there was no reason with me gone.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s true. Look, I’m sorry. What can I say…”

“Nothing. There’s really nothing to say, is there? You should leave.”

“Jake, it was just sex.” I hated to say that in front of Teri, because to me it was anything but ‘just sex’; it had been a precious gift, and something I knew would remain with me the rest of my life. Still, it’s not like I hadn’t had sex with her before.

He laughed bitterly. “I guess that makes this all my fault. Maybe if I’d never let you get your foot in the door – or your cock in my girl – it wouldn’t have happened, right?”

“I don’t know…” I was exasperated and embarrassed, and I hurt for him. “Look, bud, I don’t know. I do know we weren’t going to hide it from you; we planned to tell you, but we didn’t plan for you to walk in on us.”

“Is that supposed to make it okay? Well, it doesn’t. And I’m not your ‘bud’; just go.”

“Why don’t you just slug me in the mouth and get it over with?” He stared at me, not saying a word. I gave up and started gathering up my stuff, getting shoes and socks on. They stood and watched, several feet apart from each other, Teri with tears on her beautiful cheeks. We never had moved to the kitchen.

I grabbed my jacket and paused to look at him. “Don’t do anything stupid, okay?” I wasn’t worried about him hurting Teri – or not physically, at least; I know him to be a far better man than that. I was more worried that in his anger and pain he might say things he’d regret forever. Words said in anger can cut deeper than the sharpest knife.

“No, you’re the one in charge of doing stupid shit. Just go.”

I turned and left, but as I was unlocking my car door I heard the door of their duplex slam behind me. Sort of figuring that maybe Jake had changed his mind about hitting me, I turned around. It was Teri, barefoot and dressed only in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt in the early spring chill. God, even upset and tear-streaked she was so beautiful, her hair mussed and her nipples, erect in the cold, thrusting against her thin shirt.

“Heath, wait.”

I waited, and when she drew close she looked up into my face. “Give him time to get over it. It’ll be okay.”

“It will never be okay again.”

“It will. He just needs time to work through it.”

“No, not this time, trust me. Who’s known him longer?”

“He’ll forgive us.”

“No, he’ll forgive you. Maybe. I hope. But you’re an estrogen-based life form and he’s a testosterone-based life form, so there’s a natural affinity. He and I, two testosterone-based types, it doesn’t allow for the same tolerance levels. It’s like trying to push the positive poles of two magnets together, there’s a natural repellence that always has to be overcome.” I realized I was mixing biology and physics, but I’ve never been good at analogies.

That earned a small smile. “That’s silly. You and Jake are closer than any two people I’ve ever seen.”

“Were, you mean. What we did, you and I… well, to him that’s enough to screw up the earth’s magnetic field; we’re at full repulsion now.”

“But…”

“Teri, I should go. He’s probably watching us anyway.” She looked terribly, terribly sad, not an expression I’d ever intended to put on her face. “Hey, maybe you’re right and he’ll come around. No matter what, though, I’ll never regret those few hours we had. Thank you.”

“Me either and you don’t need to thank me. It was wonderful for me too.”

I smiled. “I’m glad. It was selfish of me, but I’ve wanted that time with you for so long.” She sniffled, and I said, “Goodbye, Teri. The last few years, with you and Jake, have been the best years of my life. I’ll never forget the way we were.”

“You’re still our best man – we’ll see you in a few weeks; he’ll be better by then.”

I shook my head. “No, I’m sure he’ll change that, find someone else.”

“Oh, Heath!” She tried unsuccessfully to stifle a small sob, then stepped forward to hug me and stretched up for a quick kiss, and then I got in my car and drove away. I think I fought tears, also not always successfully, for the first fifty miles of the seventy-five-mile trip, and my heart was a lead weight in my chest.

I hadn’t been lying when I’d told her that I’d never regret our time together, however. I can’t imagine how I could ever regret something as beautiful, as amazing that had been.

~~~~~~~~~

The next few weeks weren’t as hard as I thought they might be. With final exams, preparing for graduation, and them finalizing wedding plans we probably wouldn’t have had time to get together anyway, so it didn’t feel abnormal.

About ten days before their planned wedding I was surprised by a phone call from Teri. After the awkward small talk, she said, “He’s doing okay. I mean, we’re okay. He forgave me like you said.”

“Oh, thank God, Teri. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I mean, I miss you guys like crazy, but I can live with it if I know I didn’t screw up your lives.” In reality, I wasn’t at all sure that I could; I ached for their company and desperately wished I could turn back the clock. “So the wedding is still on as planned?”

“Yep, so don’t forget about the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner next Thursday.”

“What? I can’t believe he still wants me there. Why didn’t he pick a different best man?”

“He said there was nobody else he wanted to stand up with him. He was planning to go without one.”

“He probably should.”

“No. I told him that wasn’t an option, so it has to be you.”

“Jeez, you’re a stubborn one. But I knew that.”

“Don’t ever forget it either!” she laughed. “So you’ll be there?”

“Or risk pissing you off? It will be awkward, but of course I’ll be there.” She reminded me of the venue and time for the rehearsal and the name of the restaurant for after. I was amazed, but I also allowed myself to hope that maybe it meant Jake was coming to grips with what we’d done.

It was the betrayal, after all, the fact that I’d failed to abide by one of the very few rules he’d set on the relationship and not the fact that I’d had sex with his girl; that part wasn’t new. Still, all he’d asked of me was to understand that it was the three of us or not at all and I hadn’t even managed to comply with that simple thing. I guess I’d have been pissed too – I’m sure that to him it was too much like trying to take her for myself, which, in fact, was something I’d wrestled with since the beginning.

~~~~~~~~~

It turned out that my hope was in vain. He hadn’t gotten over it and was still deeply hurt and betrayed by what I’d done; in fact, I wondered if part of the reason he’d gone along with me being there was so that I could feel the pain of witnessing their marriage and knowing that I’d lost. It was awkward and uncomfortable and he barely spoke to me at the rehearsal and subsequent dinner.

Teri did her best to compensate for his hostility, but he watched her like a hawk the entire time and his jealousy, which had never been a part of our relationship before, cast a pall. I’d always been the one jealous of what they had but I’d done my best to not show it; Jake made no such concession.

After that, I almost didn’t go to the wedding at all, but I’d made a commitment. I didn’t try to tell either of them that after the awkward rehearsal on Thursday night, I’d called on Friday and accepted a job I’d been offered in Houston and that I’d be leaving Colorado, probably for good, just days after the wedding. I’d be gone before they returned from their honeymoon. I knew, back then, that it was best, the only way.

If Jake was hoping that the wedding and witnessing them tying the knot would hurt me, he got his wish. It was painful and it felt like the end of a part of my life, and while I was happy for them it was tearing my heart out. I could have easily been crying like both of their mothers, but mine would not have been tears of joy. Still, I held it together and did a credible impersonation of a best man, including posing for pictures before and after, and made the obligatory speech at the reception.

I joked about them and used recollections of dumb stuff me and Jake had done together growing up to get a few laughs – I even heard him chuckle a couple of times – and I was sincere when I talked about how much they’d meant to me as friends and how happy I was for them, and how I wished them nothing but joy in the years ahead. That was all true, and I still loved them; I’d just never imagined that I’d have no part to play in the rest of their lives, nor they in mine.

I don’t think he and I said ten words to each other throughout, and when it finally drew to a close it was a relief. Teri sought me out to say goodbye before the limo took them away to their hotel and their first night together as husband and wife, and when she did, I still didn’t let her know my plans.

“Thanks for being here today. It meant a lot to Jake.”

“He did a great job of hiding it.”

“C’mon, Heath; he’ll get over it, I promise.”

“Maybe, someday. Listen, I do hope you’re happy, both of you. I want you to be happy.”

“Thank you. See you when we get back?”

“Maybe. We’ll see. You guys have fun.”

She kissed me then, open-mouthed and for several beats longer and with more tongue than a new bride should kiss the best man, and then they were gone in a shower of birdseed (in lieu of rice) and I headed home, to my parents home, my childhood home, and finished packing.

The following morning I was on the road toward Texas before their flight left Grand Junction for Denver and then on to the Caribbean for their week-long honeymoon. I don’t think I’d ever felt more down, more scared, more abandoned, or more alone.

The drive was agonizing – far too much time to think, and the loneliness was setting in with a vengeance – but once I reached Houston I was too busy with the new job, finding a place to live, meeting my co-workers and finding my way around to be too maudlin about it… at first. They didn’t try to contact me at all during their honeymoon, which didn’t surprise me, but for some reason it still hurt.

Teri was the first to try after they returned, surprised to discover I was no longer around and shocked and hurt to hear that I’d left for a job so far away without saying goodbye. I replied –at first – explaining that the employer had needed a quick answer, that it was too good an offer to pass up, and other such lies, but our rare calls, emails and texts soon started to lose the easy intimacy we’d always shared and grow farther and farther apart. I never heard from Jake much, other than an annual birthday note and a sympathy card when my grandmother died.

~~~~~~~~

I made some new friends, realized with painful clarity that you can’t make old friends, and thought long about how the friends you make as an adult rarely measure up to the ones you made as a kid. If you’re fortunate to find a friend like that as an adult you are truly lucky; if you somehow manage to keep those childhood friends close to your heart through adulthood, you’re truly blessed.

I had some girlfriends – lady friends – several beautiful, sexy, incredible, intelligent, and charming women, but of course, none of them were Teri. I unquestionably missed some golden opportunities to find someone wonderful to be the love of my life, but I couldn’t get the first love of my life out of the way, so that place in my heart never came open.

I got laid pretty regularly, had some good times, had some adventures and a few misadventures and progressed rapidly in my job. Eventually, I was making good money and had advanced into a position that required me to travel about three weeks out of every month, so it was probably a good thing that I hadn’t gotten serious with anyone.

The pain of losing Teri and Jake eased to a dull ache as the years went by but it never truly went away. I thought of them often – every day, really - sent them birthday and anniversary emails with appropriate memes and tried to find a place to lock away the pain and memories. I never truly succeeded, very gradually coming to the realization that I’d not only fucked up by being greedy and stealing the time alone with Teri but again when I’d run away and not given the three of us time to heal.

Still, I figured the bridges, once burned, could not be rebuilt, so I tried to move on with life. And then one day, over eight years later, I got Teri’s cryptic email.

~~~~~~~~~

I stopped at a liquor store on the way to their house. I was nervous and excited to see them, but I’d promised to bring wine. With Teri making her patented lasagna, something she’d often done on weekends when I came down to their place during college, a bottle of Chianti and another of Sangiovese were a given. I asked the clerk, Gerry, what other wines were good with Italian food since I had no idea what Jake and Teri might prefer.

“These are good choices, but a Zinfandel or a Cab would also be good. A nice Pinot Grigio or even a Chardonnay would work if you think someone might prefer a white.”

I thanked him and grabbed a bottle of each, lining them up on the counter. He eyeballed them, and then looked at me. “I really didn’t mean you had to buy one of each. Is it a big party?”

“No, just three of us. Thing is, it’s been a few years and I don’t have a clue what they might like; back on the rare occasions that we had wine it was always some cheap swill with a screw top.”

He laughed and boxed up my half dozen bottles, and I was on my way. I was surprisingly nervous when I pulled up in front of their home – and a beautiful home it was. On a wide lot, big and flawlessly landscaped, it was a warm and welcoming home, a lodge-style with southwestern influences, like something you might see around Grand Canyon National Park.

Teri came out as I was walking around my rental, headed to get the box of wine from the back. I stopped and looked at her instead, which was definitely a matter of ordering my priorities; she looked spectacular, tanned and fit and happy, a warm and welcoming smile on her face.

If she’d aged at all, it was difficult to see; a few tiny smile creases at the corners of her eyes, perhaps. Jake followed her out by a few steps, but I didn’t get an opportunity to notice much about him before she had me wrapped in one of her patented full-body hugs.

Teri’s hug was, as it had always been, accompanied by an enthusiastic kiss, firm, open-mouthed, warm and served with a helping of tongue. I returned it eagerly and automatically as if it hadn’t been nearly a decade since the last time our lips met, relishing the feel of her tongue in my mouth.

When we separated, I held her at arm’s length and simply looked at her for a moment. “God, you really are as gorgeous as I remembered. I was beginning to think that my memory was playing tricks on me, that nobody could look that great.”

She beamed and blushed prettily, thanking me for the compliment, which had been nothing but the truth. Jake, a few feet behind her, had watched our embrace. “She’s amazing, isn’t she? I don’t know how she does it.”

I looked at him. “You look good too, bud. Looks like life is treating you well.” He did, too, although I could see more evidence of the passage of time on him. We’d both stayed in shape, and I thought we looked reasonably fit for ex-jocks, although certainly not in game-shape. I thought about the last time I’d called him my ‘bud’, and he’d assured me he was not.

I got a small smile out of him, something I hadn’t been sure I’d see. “You too, Heath; it’s good to see your ugly mug again.”

“Likewise. Beautiful place you’ve got, I love it.”

Teri smiled. “Thanks. Jake built it.”

I knew he’d gone into construction, rising rapidly to become a successful general contractor; the home spoke to how well he’d done. “It’s spectacular, Jake. You got skills, son!”

He grinned proudly, and for a brief moment, I saw my childhood friend again. “Come on, dude, check out the inside!”

They led me through the house, and I left the box on a kitchen counter as I admired and remarked on their home. It was truly beautiful and high-end, done with taste and style, something most people our age would still be working toward for years. I didn’t see a thing I’d have changed.

When we got to their master bedroom, which was every bit as beautiful as the rest of the home, our easy conversation slowly died and we stood silently for several seconds. I think we were all thinking about the last time we’d been in a bedroom together, and the pain and finality of it.

Sensing the increasing tension in the room, and tired of feeling like I was walking on eggshells, I said, “Are we okay? If it helps, I still have regrets about what happened.”

Jake looked at me for a long time, our eyes meeting, and then he shrugged. “Yeah, we’re okay. Teri told me about what you said, about how you’d always wished for just one time, just you and her alone together, and that she couldn’t deny you that.”

“Oh.” I didn’t know what to say; fortunately, he went on.

“I can completely understand that, Heath. It made it easier because I could imagine how you felt… I guess, if anything about it bothered me, it was that you didn’t talk to me about it.”

“I guess I should have. Honestly, it never occurred to me because I never expected it to happen.” I paused for a moment. “What would you have said?”

He thought about it and then smiled. “I don’t know. I mean, I can say anything now and it’s meaningless because everything is different. If it was today, I’d probably have said okay, because I feel more secure about how much Teri loves me. Back then… who knows?”

I glanced at her, but she was just silently watching the two of us hash it out, a small smile on her lips. He continued, “Back then I was always kinda amazed that she’d chosen me; it could have just as easily been you, so it always felt so… uncertain, I guess. Tenuous. I guess we’ll never know what I would have said, so all we have is speculation. I just wish you’d talked to me.”

Teri finally spoke. “I struggled so much. I wanted to be with both of you… I know that’s weird, and greedy, and unfair to you guys, but for all those years it felt like that was what we had.”

I nodded. “Yeah, until I fucked it up.”

Jake shook his head. “You didn’t fuck it up… well, not by sleeping with her, anyway. Like I said, she told me about that and made me understand. What really pissed me off was when you ran away. That’s not you; you’ve never run away from anything in your life, no matter what, but you ran away from us. That hurt.”

He was right. No matter how many excuses I’d made and how noble I’d imagined myself to be, I’d run away from the most important people in my life. “I know. Stupid, but hey, why screw up little when you can knock it out of the park? I really thought for a long time it was for the best, but lately… Well, fuck, I’ve missed you guys so much!”

Teri came to me and hugged me again, tears in her eyes, and then Jake was hugging me too and I think we were all sniffling a bit. Soon, though, we were laughing and reminiscing, the way you do with old friends. He cracked a bottle of Chardonnay from their fridge, replacing it with the one I’d brought, which was still room temp, and we all retired to their spacious and comfortable family room.

We talked about our college years, working back toward high school; about football, and the risks we’d taken on many occasions to find the time – and places - for the three of us to have sex. And, of course, about all the great intimate times together.

About friends and family, and living away from each other and our families during our college years and since. At one point, Teri said, “You two were my white knights. You rode in and saved me. I hated Montrose when we moved there, leaving all my friends behind to move to this little hick town in the middle of nowhere, and all of you that grew up here together; I was such an outsider, and then, that day at the lake…”

I nodded. “I remember that day well. You were the sexiest, most gorgeous thing either of us had ever seen.”

Jake laughed. “Yeah, lust at first sight; who knew it would turn into love, and then into this?”

I thought about luck and serendipity for a moment, how someone else could easily have been her white knight instead, and suddenly I laughed. “Do you remember why we were even at the lake?”

Jake frowned. “To hook up with some horny girls in bikinis and maybe get laid, as I recall – or, failing that, to go water skiing, if we could find someone with a boat.”

I shook my head. “Well yeah, that, but I meant why we started going there in the first place instead of to the pool.” We’d always gone swimming at the municipal pool as kids. The lake was several miles out of town, a long, hot, dusty bike ride if we couldn’t snare a lift. Plus, the older kids tended to pick on any unaccompanied younger ones there, so the pool was a safer bet.

He thought for a moment, and then he laughed too. “Oh yeah! Shit, I’d forgotten all about that.”

Teri looked at us, looking at each other and laughing as we shared a memory. “What? Tell me!”

I shook my head, still smiling. “Jake got us kicked out of the pool – and not just for the day, for the whole damn summer!”

She looked at him. “You did? What did you do?”

He shook his head. “It was totally unfair. I got kicked out for peeing in the pool – everyone pees in the pool!”

I laughed. “First, I’d like to believe you’re wrong about everyone peeing in the pool – I’ve spent way too many hours in pools. And second, you didn’t exactly pee in the pool; nobody would have ever known if you did that. You peed into the pool, bud; big difference!

He huffed. “That’s just a matter of semantics.”

“Yeah, the lifeguard seemed to disagree.”

Teri was dying. “You didn’t!”

I laughed. “Ah, but he did.”

“You dared me.”

“I didn’t think you’d do it!”

“That lifeguard just hated kids; if I’d have been her age, she’d have been all over me.”

I shook my head. “Somehow I don’t think she’d have found a seventeen or eighteen-year-old guy standing there with his toes curled over the edge as he pissed into her pool to be any more socially acceptable.”

Teri was laughing so hard she couldn’t catch her breath and had tears running down her face, and Jake and I were laughing at the stupidity of it. “He squealed, told her that I’d dared him, so I got kicked out too. From that point on we always went to the lake.”

Jake nodded. “Yeah, where nobody cares whether you piss in the lake or into the lake. Still, I met the love of my life there, so I’d have to count that pool fiasco as the best piss I ever took.”

I shook my head. “You’re a true romantic, you know that?”

Teri eventually caught her breath and, while drying her eyes, said, “And this is why you two can’t be so far apart. You’re so good together, and we all have so much fun.”

It was true. I was happier than I’d been in years, happier than any day since the one I’d spent alone with Teri. It felt like some part of me that had died had miraculously come back to life. “You’re right. God, I’ve missed this. I feel whole when I’m with you two. I can’t believe I threw away over eight years…”

Teri rose and came to me and sat on my lap so she could put her arms around me. “The important thing is you’re here now, and we’re not going to let anything divide us again. Now come on, let’s eat before the lasagna burns!”

We headed out to the kitchen. Jake put his arm around me as we walked, and I put mine across his shoulders, and as we entered the kitchen, I pulled him into a huge bear hug. “You’re the best, bud. Thank you for forgiving me.”

He returned the hug, almost crushing the life out of me. “There’s nothing to forgive. We all make mistakes, I’m just glad you’re finally back; we really need you.”

When I pulled back and looked at him, he said, “Never mind; we’ll get into it after dinner.”

I was intrigued, but soon we were diving into Teri’s miraculous lasagna, with a salad with homemade Italian dressing and homemade garlic bread, and too busy eating to talk much. We’d killed the Chardonnay earlier and polished off the Chianti with dinner, and after, full, relaxed, a little buzzed as he poured each of us a Merlot, we moved back to the family room.

Again we made small talk, more casual and easier now. My curiosity was killing me though, so I finally said, “You guys have made a couple references to needing to see me or talk to me and stuff; what’s going on?”

They looked at each other, and then at me, and Jake sighed nervously. “Okay, fair enough – but before we get to that, I need to clear the air about something, something you need to know.”

I waited but could see that he was hesitant, nervous about telling me whatever it was. Finally, Teri prodded him. “Go ahead, honey; tell him. It will be okay.”

He nodded, then took a deep breath. “Okay, here goes; Heath, I’m bisexual.”

I nodded. “I know.”

That stopped him dead, and he stared at me. “You know?”

“Well sure, Jake. I mean, it’s like the worst kept secret ever, right?”

“And you don’t hate me? You’re not disgusted by that?”

“No, of course I don’t hate you! For Pete’s sake, Jake, and of course I’m not disgusted by it. I mean, I’ve been the beneficiary of it many times, right? The way you’d touch me when the three of us were together?”

Teri was smiling at me gratefully; I think she’d suspected that I was aware of his sexuality and had probably tried to reassure him of that for years.

Jake still seemed disbelieving. “And you never called me a fag or anything, never told anyone else about me…”

“I’ve never called anyone that, Jake, and I sure as hell wouldn’t call you that. And it’s our business, nobody else’s; when you're ready for others to know if ever, it’s your decision whether to open up, not mine.”

“God, and I’ve been so afraid to tell you. I was so afraid you’d hate me.”

“No, never.”

“How long have you known?”

I shrugged. “Since the first, I think.”

Teri asked, “The first time the three of us were together – you know, that other great night at the lake?” She smiled, recalling our skinny dip adventure.

I shook my head. “No, the first time it was just Jake and me.” I looked at him. “The day you showed me your dad’s porn stash, remember?”

I saw realization dawn on him, like a little lightbulb going on. “You knew then? All this time?”

I nodded. “I mean, I maybe didn’t know-know, and probably didn’t think of it in quite that way, but I think I knew in my heart, yeah.”

He shook his head. “Wow.” He swiped at his eyes, trying to hide the tears there. “You’re a true friend, you know that?”

“It didn’t make any difference; you were still you, and still my best friend. And a stud linebacker, as I recall.”

He tried to laugh, but I could see he was still very emotional. Teri said, “Tell me!”, then looked at Jake. “Is it okay, can you tell me about it?”

He shrugged. “Let Heath tell you. I always figured he just thought of it as two young guys, experimenting… finding themselves.”

“I guess it was that too. Let’s see… was that the summer after our junior year?”

He shook his head. “No, idiot, that’s when we met Teri; we’d both gotten laid by then. It was the summer before.”

I laughed “Oh yeah! How could I forget that?” As an aside to her, I said, “Does he have little terms of endearment like that for you too? I always get a warm fuzzy when he calls me ‘idiot’.”

She laughed, and I went on, “So, anyway, the summer after our sophomore year he calls me one morning and tells me to get over to his house, quick. I’m mystified, but I hustle over there and he drags me down to their basement where there’s this old leather briefcase up on a shelf. He hauls it out and pops it open, and it’s chock-full of porn – I mean, seriously, the mother lode!”

She was laughing. “Oh no! Whose was it?”

He shrugged. “My dad’s, I guess. I gained a whole new appreciation for him that day!”

Laughing, she asked, “So, what… like Playboys and stuff?”

I shook my head. “No. Well, there were a few Playboys and Hustlers and shit, but it was mostly very hardcore stuff. Huge cocks in wet pussies, big tits and cum flying everywhere – you know, the real deal. All in full color and every combination of slippery bits you can imagine.”

“What did you do?”

Jake laughed. “What any self-respecting, horny, red-blooded, sixteen-year-old male would have done; we got so fucking hard you could have split logs with our cocks!”

I nodded. “Yeah. I was so horny I was practically shaking. I’d never seen anything like that, and it was amazing!”

“Which one of us had his dick out first?”

“You guys!” She was laughing again, enjoying another of our teenage peccadillos.

I laughed too. “It was a close race, but I think you won.”

He nodded. “Mine’s smaller, easier to get out. I didn’t beat you by much though!”

“No, that’s true. You also came first, in about ten seconds.”

“I don’t know how you didn’t! That stuff was a whole new ballgame.”

I shrugged. “I paced myself; I’m a master of self-control.”

“Bullshit.”

“Oh, and also, I’d already jerked off that morning, so…”

He laughed. “I knew it!”

I looked at Teri. “You’d have been proud of him. He came like a damn geyser but stayed rock-hard. I was impressed.”

She just rolled her eyes. “Boys will be boys – so then what? You just jerked off together?”

“Well, yeah. Sort of.” I looked at Jake.

“Go ahead, tell her.”

“Okay. Well, you may have noticed at some point that Jake is circumcised and I’m not…?”

She rolled her eyes again. “Oh, really? Gosh, I never noticed!”

“Yeah, really – I’ll show you later if you like.” They both laughed and I went on, “So anyway, we’re both going through these magazines, jerking off, me real slow because I’m trying not to pop my cork but by then Jake is really spanking the monkey. For some reason, I glance over at him and he’s watching me instead of looking at porn.”

We both looked at him, and he shrugged, but he was blushing. “Those were pictures, but you were a live sex show. And let’s face it, you have a beautiful cock.”

Now I was the one blushing while Teri laughed at me. “Um, thanks, I think… so anyway, I asked what he was doing. He asked me what it felt like.”

She frowned. “What what felt like?”

“That’s what I said. He says, ‘Your foreskin – what does it feel like?’ I’m a little confused, so I tell him it just feels normal, something I’ve always had. I mean, I’d never not had one, so I had no basis for comparison.”

“He says, ‘No, not what does it feel like to have one; what does it actually feel like?’ I told him it just felt like very soft skin, and it felt good to play with.”

Jake snorted. “I figured you were so dense you’d never take the hint. I finally gave up and just asked him if I could touch it.”

She said, “Oh, that must have been hard.”

I nodded. “Yeah, we both were, rock-hard.”

“No, not that, you putz! I meant it must have been hard for him to ask.”

He nodded. “It was, painfully difficult, but I wanted to so bad.” He laughed. “To your credit, even though you looked like you were freaked out, you said yes.”

“Yeah. I mean, I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“I was so excited I almost came again. What did you think when I touched you for the first time?”

“Honestly? I was amazed by how gentle you were, so tentative. And also, how good it felt to have someone else touch me.”

“I loved the way it felt. You were so big and so hard, and that skin was so soft. I couldn’t get enough of it.”

“I remember.” I was hard again, remembering. It had been a very tense and very intense experience.

He sighed. “I was stroking you, playing with your foreskin, sliding it back and forth. You were leaking like crazy.”

“I know.”

“I told him he could touch me too if he wanted to.”

Teri looked at me. “Did you?”

I nodded, and Jake said. “He did. I almost cried I was so happy, so excited.”

“Jake, I didn’t know.” I swallowed hard, the emotions he must have felt finally dawning on me. “He was so hard. I was amazed at how hard he was, how stiff and hot, and then I could feel that I was going to come. I warned him so that it wouldn’t get all over him.”

“But I wanted to feel it. I wanted to feel you come and feel your hot cum on my hands; more than anything, I wanted to take you in my mouth and suck you off, taste you, but I knew you’d totally freak out if I did that.”

I laughed. “Probably! Silly me, before I figured out how great blowjobs are!”

He smiled. “I loved the way it felt on my hands, so warm and slippery, the way your cock throbbed and the way it shot out of you, the scent of it. You came so much… it was such a powerful experience.”

“You came too.” I looked at Teri, who was watching us, and I could see that she was aroused by our story. “When I started coming, and he was catching it with his fingers and rubbing it all over me, all of a sudden I felt him tense up and… woosh!”

She laughed. “Woosh?”

“Yeah, woosh! He came like a damn rocket; I swear, he shot a streak of cum ten feet across the room, and then it was flying everywhere. I was trying to keep it off my fingers, so it went all over the place.”

He was laughing. “What can I say? I was incredibly turned on! But anyhow, that was the first of many jerk-off sessions to the pictures in that briefcase; by the end of the summer, my parent’s basement would have looked like a Jackson Pollock painting if you’d turned a black light on it.”

“So you two…?”

He shook his head. “No, that was the only time we ever touched each other, until you came along. Heath thought it was just one of those experimental, curiosity, growing up things, a rite of passage; I guess it was for him. To me, it meant so much more.”

“I’m sorry, bud.”

“No, it’s okay. You can only be who you are.”

Teri sat and looked at us for a full minute, and then I saw tears pool in her eyes. “You guys are really something. Just amazing. And I’m so damn horny I’m about to die!”