I didn’t have any contact with Gina for the next couple of days, but that Sunday I went downtown with Jenny on my lingerie shopping trip. I got a black garter with straps, some nylon stockings to go with it, several pairs of those transparent panties that Jenny also liked so much, and finally, red lacy panties much like the woman in that porn photo spread.

With this stuff, you’re going to be the hottest chick around when the school year starts again in September. Of course, no one will see it but me!

After that, we sat on a bench on Chrystie Street and talked for a while. Jenny was wearing her cloth cap, and I blurted out a comment about it.

“That hat makes you look sort of like . . .” I wasn’t sure how to put it, and I finished with, “Like a tomboy.”

“Hah, you mean that I look ‘butch.’ ”

I was a bit embarrassed. “That’s not quite what I meant.”

“It’s okay. You’ll note that we date guys, but we look for satisfaction with each other.”

My reply surprised me. “In some ways, it’s less complicated that way. It takes some of the pressure off.”

“I know what you mean. Have you ever read Summer of ’42?”

“I did, but even though it was based on his real experiences, I didn’t like it that much.”

“A lot of little things bugged me about it. Like, the sex scene with Oscy and Miriam is very clinical but perhaps accurate. Meanwhile, when Hermie gets with Dorothy, everything is kind of vague and gauzy. Like, I’m sure he had a premature ejaculation during that.” 

I said, “True, but what were they supposed to do about it?”

“She should have given him a preliminary handjob, and then she could find out if he had any stud potential during the main event.”

I found that funny. “We sort of have our own Summer of ’73 going on here.”

Jenny said, “Yeah, except we don’t get pushed around like the girls in that thing. We can partially thank Gina for that.” Then she went in another direction. “You and I have never kissed, or anything like that, have we?”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. It almost felt like a criticism of me. But Jenny went on. “We should bring this up with Gina. We need – let’s call it, a settling of accounts or however you’d put it. Making things even among us; that’s another way of saying it. Do you know what I mean?”

“I get it. By the way, what do you think she’s really doing with that Richie guy?”

“I’m not sure. Frankly, I think she gets off on that dominatrix power trip.”

“You liked it yourself, from what I saw.”

She took it well. “Oh, yeah, it was fun whacking his wonderful bad boy ass. Just because I bragged about handling these guys on the street - well, I do find them annoying. Anyway, Richie seems to have an exhibitionist streak of his own. What ultimately happens is up to them.” 

Then she caught me unaware again. “You’ve got something going with Gina yourself, I mean, when I’m not around.”

“How do you know that?” Damn, I just gave myself away.

“Hah, female intuition, I guess!”

I asked her, “How about you? What are you doing with Gina?”

“Beyond that one time? Nothing, really. You see what I mean about getting all of us on the same level?”

*****

Jenny did make that call to Gina. In a few days, our leader announced a “mandatory” Sweet Sixteen Party for us in Club Mangano. We all had to wear skirts for that. She said to me, “You obviously know why.”

On the appointed day, we went down there. Gina had us sit on the couch next to her, with me to her right and Jenny to her left. She had brought a thermos and some paper cups. “Don’t worry, I don’t have booze in here, just some apple juice.” She had also had a bag of doughnuts.

We talked for a little while. One thing that Gina said was, “So today is not our birthdays, but are going to have a Sweet Sixteen party anyway – and we’re doing it our way.”

I was being tongue-in-cheek when I said, “So we’re going to have an orgy?”

She got my joke but she was still a bit irritated. “Come on, that’s not quite what I mean.” She went on, “So Sweet Sixteen refers to a young woman’s coming of age. That’s been happening with us, but in a rather haphazard way. Are you two following me?”

We both nodded. Gina said, “So I’ve been detecting some, I’d call it tensions among us. In other words, we can have secrets with other people, but not with each other.”

I thought, that isn’t quite true. There is still the question of what exactly you are doing with Richie, and I have secrets about my own fantasies that I’ve only hinted at. But I kept my mouth shut.

Gina had put some thought into it. “All right, ladies, stand up and take your skirts off.”

I hadn’t expected that, but we did what we had been told. Jenny had her white garter and straps holding up her nylons, but no panties on. However, she did have her straw hat. Gina, of course, had to comment. “It’s always you quiet ones you’ve got to watch out for.”

Jenny seemed to have become less quiet in recent months. She had a quip to use. “Hey, one is always allowed to wear white before Labor Day.”

“I think that refers to shoes, but I really don’t remember.”

“And you know I do have a pair in my bag.”

“That’s good; a girl should always have a backup plan.”

Then she looked me over. I was wearing my new red lacy underpants, and I could tell that Gina knew why I had bought them. However, her comment was implicit rather than explicit. “Chloe, you’re another one to watch out for. So, as you can see – and maybe you all are surprised – I’m the most modest one today.”

Her drawers were simple cotton ones, blue with white dots. “Okay, we didn’t come here for a fashion show. Take those off too. Leave them on top of your skirts if you wish.”

As soon as we were bottomless, I was aware that I wasn’t at all comfortable with what was going on. Gina kept issuing instructions. “Now the missing parts of this puzzle are that Jenny and Chloe haven’t yet...” She, too, seemed reluctant to specify anything. “Well, you know what I mean.”

I said what was on my mind. “I’m feeling very self-conscious right now.”

Gina said, “Why don’t we all sit down on the couch and talk about it, okay?”

She was in the middle and she put her arms around our shoulders and pulled us closer. I looked at my two friends and then I said to Gina, “Please don’t take this personally, but I’d rather be with Jenny at some other time when you’re not here. It’s not that....” I didn’t know how to complete that sentence.

“It’s okay; I can be a bit overbearing at times. What you’re saying makes sense. Meanwhile, I have the second part of our Sweet Sixteen celebration ready right here in my bag.”

Jenny said, “Can we at least put our skirts back on?”

“Just our skirts?”

Jenny grinned, “Yeah, we’ve got to maintain our bad girl credibility.”

“You will if I have anything to say about it!” When we had our outer garments back on, she said, “So, I’ve got these, one for each of us.” I recognized those as marijuana joints. “I don’t think any of us has ever experienced this.”

I asked, even though I knew the probable answer. “Where did you get those?”

She did hesitate for a moment. “Well, from Richie, obviously.” I think she was a bit uncomfortable too. “Hey, he supplies the porn and the drugs and all he wants is a good ass-whacking in return. And he’s old enough to buy us beer or whatever else we want. He’s like the ideal boyfriend.” She looked at me. “That was supposed to be a joke.”

“I got that.” I knew she wasn’t joking about the beer.

“So I think we should try this, just two puffs today, to get an understanding of what it’s all about.” She distributed them, then she took a lighter and a small tray from her bag. “It’s okay, this stuff isn’t that strong.”

How do you know that? I said, “I’ve never smoked anything in my life.”

“I guess that’s our good girl side; we don’t smoke cigarettes.”

Jenny said, “Unlike some of those chicks at Evander. They all think they’re so damn cool.” I detected a note of bitterness in her voice.

Gina went on, “You’ve heard that you should hold the smoke in your lungs before letting it out. You have to decide how long that should be.”

I said, “Here, let me have that lighter.” Then I looked at the two items in my hands. Okay, another thing to find out about. It was simple enough to light up and draw the smoke in. Yet it had a bitter taste and I had to force myself not to cough. After making myself hold it in my lungs, I blew it out my nose. Damn, I must look like Lauren Bacall while doing this. My two friends were also struggling on their first attempts, and Jenny did indeed cough.

After the second inhalation, I said, “I don’t feel anything yet.”

Gina said, “You will, soon enough.”

We sat there talking for a few moments, then a sort of wave, a warm and fuzzy sensation, went through my body. A state of dissociation came to me. I was aware that I was on the edge between lucidity and incoherence. Two puffs are enough to start, that’s true. As it was, I was beginning to feel that the words of my friends were coming from a longer distance.

It mostly felt pleasant but different from alcohol somehow. There was an impression of “floaty-ness” that was hard to describe. Gina looked at me and said, “Are you feeling it now? You certainly look like you are.”

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“I know I am.”

“How long is this going to last?”

“With the amount we’ve had – I don’t know, maybe an hour at least.” Then the three of us talked for a while, and I was mostly able to follow along. 

Gina said at one point, “I’ve never been flat-on-my-ass drunk, but I’ve seen a couple of people who were.”

Jenny said, “Remember that jerk Marvin last spring?”

Gina told us the story. “He wanted to celebrate his birthday by knocking off a good amount of a bottle of Southern Comfort, of all things. He got away with it during the lunch period. Then, during his first class of the afternoon, he puked all over the place.”

“That cleared the room in a hurry.”

“We had to go, or we’d be joining him in his upchuck party too.” 

*****

Afterwards, we went to a pizzeria and ordered a pie to share amongst ourselves as we sat at a table.  I was definitely coming down from whatever high I had been on. Yet when the food arrived, I said, “I’m surprisingly hungry right now.”

Gina replied, “Maybe you don’t know this, but pot will give you the munchies.”

“So you’ve done this before?”

“Yeah, I did have one joint, and I smoked it in two sessions.” I didn’t ask if Richie was present during those events. “Don’t have a bag of chips around, because you’ll likely eat the whole thing.”

Jenny said, “I’ve heard it has other effects.”

“Let me be blunt about this. I limited us to two puffs, or otherwise we’d be sitting here and we wouldn’t understand what each of us was saying. It ruins your concentration to do almost anything that requires effort. That includes lucid conversations.”

I said, “I still feel a bit buzzy right now.”

“But if you had smoked the whole thing, you would be eating your pizza now but staring off into space. If you could still talk, it would probably sound like babble to me.”

Again I speculated to myself about her experiences, but I didn’t ask. “Maybe I’d order another pie.”

“That’s pretty funny, but maybe we would go along with it!” Then she added, “Another effect is that is that will also increase, call it your sexual appetite.”

Maybe she guessed my thoughts because added, “If you’re wondering when I experienced that, it was all by myself. Just me and my hairbrush, okay? But, yeah, it was intense. One more caution: like booze or anything else, it’s not utterly harmless. Jenny and I know some burnout cases at Evander who got too far into it.”

Jenny said, “I suppose they took this seriously; ‘The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.’ ”

I didn’t recognize her quote, but Gina did. “William Blake, ‘The Marriage of Heaven and Hell.’ So they had that in your English class too? In my class, I was about the only one who liked it. But it’s just an amazing poem. ‘Always be ready to speak your mind, and a base man will avoid you’ ”

I asked, “So when was this written?”

“In 1793, I think.” 

At that point, I grasped why my two friends were not shunned, but certainly ignored at their school. They were so far advanced beyond their classmates. They had acquaintances at the place, but no real friends. But then they found each other, and of course, they found me.

And I had been lonely too. In my case, it was because of social class. My classmates weren’t snobs, but I was aware of the impact of one’s upbringing. Maybe it was just my own insecurities that were to blame. 

I said, “I wonder if it’s a good idea to walk around with an illegal drug in our bags.”

“You’re worrying too much again. Look at the way we are dressed. We hardly look like bad-ass street girls.”

“That neighbor of mine, Mrs. Marchetti, came into the bakery once and said that I was nice, ‘not like those hippie girls’ as she put it.”

Gina was dismissive, “What hippie girls? Like, you know how the press went bonkers over those chicks skinny-dipping in some pond at Woodstock? So how many were there? Twenty of them, maybe? And 200,000 guys who would have liked to get with them.”

Jenny found that amusing. “Yeah, I’ve heard guys at our school.” She tried to imitate the verbal style of the stereotypical New York “mook.” “ ‘Man, I wish I had been old enough the go. They were just giving away poontang up there.’ ”

 Gina said, “Right, they imagine that the world is full of willing bimbos, and yet they never meet any.” She addressed me. “As I’ve said, you are indeed a nice girl.”

“She didn’t know about my lack of underwear, at least some of the time.”

“What more could anyone ask of you? You go to school, you have a job, you don’t run around all night or disappear for a couple of days.” She smiled at me. “And you’re loyal to your friends.”

“That’s for sure!”

Then I saw another side of her, one I also knew well. “Hey, we’ve got more Sweet Sixteen activities to do. You all want more wildness in your lives, I mean train flashing wildness?”  

That almost contradicted what she had just said about me. She pulled out a timetable from her purse. It wasn’t just the one for the nearby station, but the complete Harlem Division schedule.

As she perused it, she said, “This shows a southbound train coming through in about a half-hour, a non-stop one. And since we’re all set up – call it sartorially for this – I propose we go over there and show them what we’ve got.”

I was aware of my bare body under my skirt. “Are you daring us?” I knew my two friends were bare under their clothes too.

“Oh yeah, I’m daring you. I want to see what kind of nerves you two have.”

*****

The station was only a few blocks away. When we got there, we looked down and saw that again no one was waiting on the platform.

Gina said, “Okay, we’ve got about five minutes. Let’s go down to the end like I did that time.”

We gathered at the southern end. Around the time that the train was due, I looked to the north. “Yeah, it’s coming. It will be on the second track.” That was the next one beyond the one at the platform. It would be a bit closer than the one Gina had once flashed.

There was still no one else around, so we went for it. We didn’t have to be told by Gina about what to do. We lined up at the railing, with Gina to my left and Jenny to my right. Without thinking too closely about it, I got my skirt up and I bent over. For some reason, I put my sandaled feet up on tiptoes. All three of us were in the same basic positions.

In the last moment, Jenny said nervously, “I hope it’s moving at a good clip.” 

Gina seemed out of sorts too. “I wonder if they like girls with little asses.”

Jenny protested, “Mine is pretty good.” That was the only part of her lanky body with any significant curves.

Then it did whoosh by, going fairly fast. I could feel the warm breeze on my body. Almost immediately, my labia got wet. I’ve wondered about being a porn model and this must be what it’s like.

Gina seemed to lose a bit of self-control. She held up her clothes with her left hand and waved back with her right one. “Yeah, get off at Fordham and come back up if you want a piece of us. But we’ll be long gone by then!”

Five seconds, maybe, and it was over. A panic hit us, and we dashed back up the stairs. At street level, I hung on the wire-mesh fence and looked out. I was struck by how out-of-breath I was. “I admit, I felt like a porn star down there.”

Gina said, “Yeah, Chloe, you’re a crazier chick than you let on.”

Jenny said, “I wonder if someone will call the cops, say from Fordham, I guess.”

My friend replied, “I can imagine how that would go over at the precinct house. ‘Really, some girls flashing their pussies? We’ll have to come up there and see this for ourselves.’ ”

***

A bit later, we were sitting on benches up on Reservoir Oval. I was feeling both bubbly and kind of rattled too. Gina said, “So how is Sweet Sixteen going so far? Pretty well, I’d say.”

I admitted something. “When I left my building back on that other day, I felt so conflicted. I wished I could go back to the way I once was.”

“Chloe, as that expression goes, ‘It’s time to put your big girl panties on.’ ”

“I already have them, but they’re here in my bag.”

“Yes, I know that!”

When we were leaving, I pulled up next to Jenny and said quietly, “I’ll call you when I’m ready.”

“Of course, any time, sweetie.” She smiled at me. “You know how fond of you I am.”

****

On the second night after that, I wanted to fully experience my new drug. After bedtime, I opened my window and leaned out. Then I took my time inhaling the acrid smoke.  It wasn’t as smooth as Jenny’s flavored rum, but I thought I could handle it. I drew down about two-thirds of it, and then I saved the rest in a glass jar. 

When I got into my bed, I was definitely quite stoned.  I had a specific goal in mind: to experience the sexual sensations that Gina had described for us at the pizza shop. The point was to masturbate, and I searched my recent memory for scenarios. Those appeared readily in my imagination. There were potential fantasies about Richie and his substantial schlong inside of me, although I had never experienced intercourse with a man.

It was true that I had witnessed my friends punishing him, and I speculated how I would have done that. Not unexpectedly, I also had a vision of Gina dominating me, putting me over her lap and spanking my bare behind. I was formulating a plot, which I had done before, but that was the first time my friend was the dominant protagonist. Chloe, you lewd little strumpet, I’m going to teach you to be a proper young lady.

But, again, I had never experienced such an event although I had considered what it might feel like. Also, I wasn’t ready yet to bring my friend into that particular reverie.

In the end, I picked Jenny to be my partner in self-pleasuring scenes. Since I had experienced oral sex with a woman, I could easily place myself in the right frame of mind. I went at myself with my brush and my hands, first picturing her going down on me. For the second go-round, I went down on her.

I found it to be unlike the sexual experiences I already knew. It was as if my entire focus was on my body and the images in my head; nothing else existed. The build-ups went on for a long time, and my two orgasms made me gasp. I remember banging my bare feet on the mattress, almost in frustration at completely losing control over my own actions. 

Then I lay there, looking at the ceiling. I was unsettled because I knew a bit about the effects various drugs had on people. That knowledge was second-hand. Whatever was happening down at the Dexter school was unknown to me because I wasn’t in the right circles to be exposed to or offered any substances.

You work hard at school and your job, thus you deserve to have some fun. I wasn’t sure, however, so I got up and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror again. 

Strange thoughts came to me. I had heard rumors of corporal punishments at Catholic schools and Gina had mentioned the same thing about public schools. I whispered to my own bleary-eyed image. “Chloe, you need some discipline. You should go to Confession and ask the priest to paddle your bad little rear-end.” No Hail Mary’s, just spank me hard!

I also couldn’t help but think that Gina would be willing to do it if I requested that. Then, as I heard might happen with pot, a mirthfulness overtook me. As I giggled, I waved a finger at my mirror image. “But that’s not going to work, because you know you’d enjoy it way too much! You are a flaming masochist as well as a harlot.” What would Mrs. Marchetti think of me?

I had to get a grip on myself, and I resolved to call Jenny the next day and invite her to be with me.

#####