Ch. 01 Agatha Starts College.
Agatha arrived on campus a day late, missing orientation. She ended up going to a state school because Bryn Mawr gave away her spot when the first tuition payment was missed. It was unavoidable, having to deal with those damn lawyers and their paperwork. She had to sign about 9 forms telling her about the federal paperwork reduction act. Agatha often wondered if this law had any other use than killing trees and triggering migraines
Using a campus map she had downloaded to her phone, she drove through the campus, navigating the antique car her grandfather left her, to parking lot D. She pulled into an open spot and shut off the car, and took a moment to look around at the place she would call home for the next four years.
As she got out of the behemoth, she heard a rich, slightly familiar baritone voice behind her. "Wow that's a hell of a ride!"
"It's a '57 Chevy Bel Air Hardtop. Before you ask, yes, It’s got all original parts, and I'm the 2nd owner," she said in a monotone.She had grown tired of gear heads drooling over the car. Without looking at the source of the strange voice behind her, she opened the trunk and began to take out her luggage, wishing that a cute guy that knew what being a gentleman meant and would offer to help her. Not for the first time she wished someone would drool over her like they did the car.
As Agatha slung a bag over her shoulder, she said, "I'll take you for a ride if you help me get moved in." As she turned, expecting to see him running away, she froze in shock when she saw Lars. "Lars!" she exclaimed, stunned and confused, embarrassment making her tongue twist itself into a clove hitch.
"Agatha," Lars responded warmly with a giant smile, recognizing his high school classmate, and appearing genuinely happy to see her. "Where'd you get that fine ass piece of automotive history?" he asked appreciatively, his eyes darting between the car and Agatha.
Agatha smiled, completely unable to respond, as her tongue finished the clove hitch and tried to add two half hitches.
"Wow," he whistled as he gave her a long slow appreciative look, just like he did the car. “You changed. Changed a lot. You look…hot!"
Agatha shrunk into herself, not used to that reaction from a guy. Especially not this guy. Feeling self-conscious, she gestured to the car trying to get Lars to stop looking at her.
"My...um... My grandparents died…"
"Yeah, I heard. I'm so sorry," he said. "I know how close you were to them." He stepped closer to her, offering to hug her.
Agatha, still feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable, stepped back. "They left me the car and some money. I decided to start college looking a bit different." She looked away embarrassed. She had worked hard to change her appearance, but explaining it to someone from her past made it sound vain and silly.
Sensing her discomfort, Lars changed the subject. "You really would've liked graduation."
"No biggie," she replied, "not like I had a lot of friends or fond memories." As she spoke, she remembered her last interaction with the Bimbo Squad when they bombarded her with urine-filled balloons. That was the same day that her grandparents died in a plane crash. Agatha’s cheeks began to burn, both from embarrassment and rage, as she tried to push that memory away.
Lars nodded in understanding. "When I heard you were coming here instead of Bryn Mawr, I made sure to get you a copy of the yearbook and the graduation video. Let's get your stuff to your room, then while you unpack, I'll get them."
After several trips, Agatha and Lars were hot and sweaty but finally finished. "I'll be right back," Lars said as he gave her arm a friendly squeeze. Agatha began to unpack, putting her clothes away, making the bed, and making her part of the small space her own. She made a good start in getting unpacked and organized in the twenty minutes Lars was gone.
"I'm back," Lars called as he walked into the room. Grabbing Agatha's laptop off of the desk, he opened the CD drive and inserted a disc labeled “Grad Video”. Agatha shook her head, becoming quite annoyed that Lars insisted on screening the ceremony. She mustered up all of her courage. "Fuck graduation. I don't give a shit."
Lars reached up and grabbed Agatha by the wrist. "Sit down Aggie, you'll love this," he said, as he guided her onto the bed next to him.
Agatha had never been called Aggie before. After thinking about it, she realized that Aggie was a better fit for her new look. While she hadn't gone for any surgical enhancements, she did avail herself of several medical professionals; a dermatologist for her seborrhea, Lasik for her astigmatism, and removal of her braces. Even better, Mother Nature had finally turned her body from a surfboard to a surfboard with a slight waistline and noticeable hips. Even her itty bitties had grown to be a nice handful.
Working with a cosmetologist, she learned how to properly care for her dull hair. The mousy brown was replaced by a much more flattering caramel balayage, and after mastering styling tools and deep conditioning treatments she thought were only available to celebrities, she was capable of creating soft curls or a sleek blow-out at home, as she pleased. She also learned about makeup and how to use the creams and powders and brushes she once feared to create looks that flattered her features. Laser hair removal took care of the excess hair she inherited from some long-forgotten Mediterranean ancestor. She had finished her external transformation by hiring a fashion consultant to teach her how to dress for her body; moving from hiding herself behind drab, sad, shapeless frocks, to celebrating herself through fashion. She still wasn't entirely comfortable with some of the outfits she owned; especially the bandeau top and daisy dukes she was currently wearing.
Changing your appearance is easy; changing who you are . . . not so much. Agatha was ninety-nine and forty-four one-hundredths percent sure that a new hair color and some insanely expensive shoes wouldn't change her introverted, wallflower, church mouse personality overnight. But going by Aggie might just take her from an ugly, depressing nerd to a slightly attractive, slightly less introverted nerd.
Aggie shook her head to get back to reality, as she sat on her bed next to Lars, their legs just barely touching. "Show me the stupid thing already," she said hoping the opening montage of the last four years wouldn't be too horrible for her. Lars hit play as Aggie realized that she was alone, in her bedroom, with the boy she had been infatuated with since they first met. Her tongue added a sheet bend to the clove hitch.
Lars started the video, and the St. Sextus Academy logo appeared on the screen. It quickly faded to an aerial view of the campus. As the image moved over the Main building towards the sports field, the image faded to the view from the dais. Pomp and Circumstance began playing as the Seniors processed in.
Once they were all seated, a voice intoned, "Ladies and gentlemen the graduating class of 2012." Thunderous applause blasted from the speakers, as the seniors, following tradition, began to chant "...HEY HEY BYE BYE". As the applause died out, and the chant faded, the video jump cut to a view from the graduate's perspective looking at the faculty on the dais. The shot zoomed in on the screen above the dais. A flickering poorly illuminated video started to play on the screen, as the video cut to a direct feed of the montage of the high school career of the graduating class.
Suddenly there was a very rough cut to a grainy slightly out of focus amateur video. It showed the interior of a locker room. Aggie had seen the room enough times to recognize it as the senior section of the girl's locker room.
At first, there was no one on the screen, then the entire bimbo squad came out of the showers wrapped in towels. The camera was poorly positioned and the details weren't clear, but you could identify the people in the video.
As the girls dropped their towels and started to dress in their street clothes, they began discussing their plans for the weekend. Things like what mind-altering chemicals would be ingested, how to stay out after curfew and not get caught, who was going to fuck their boyfriend, and other secrets teen girls share with friends, confident that their teachers and parents would never find out.
Aggie sat there in amazement, as she watched Bree, Pris and the rest of the Bimbo Squad reveal all their secrets on video. When the girls started to leave, the video faded to black. "I had the projectionist take a break, and locked the booth, and squirted Krazy glue in the lock," Lars said.
Aggie looked at him in shock as he continued. "You and I have the only copies. For some reason, the faculty canceled the sale this year. Lots of students protested that decision. I stole the master from the AV room and made a copy for you," Lars told her with a straight face.
Aggie was staring at him in disbelief. "But why...how?" She couldn't fathom why he would do this to his girlfriend and friends.
"Remember Dave Jones? He bet me he could get a video of the bimbo squad naked. He snuck into the locker room, hid his phone running a security cam app. He won $50 bucks, I got revenge for what happened . . .” he paused not wanting to mention her grandparent's death, “The last day you were in school.”
"You should have seen it. Parents, grabbing the girls, teachers running around trying to stop the video, and the students laughing so hard most of 'em pissed their pants. The bimbo squad wasn't seen or heard from again that summer."
Aggie began to laugh. It felt good to know that after all the torture and humiliation she suffered at the hands of the bimbo squad, karma had finally balanced the scales.
As they sat in her dorm laughing, Aggie wondered if she finally had a friend, a cute guy friend. When they finally stopped laughing, Lars handed Aggie a yearbook with her name embossed on the cover. She took one look at it and put it down, knowing there would be a total of three pictures of her and zero signatures in it.
Lars looked at her and said, "Don't you want to open it, Aggie?"
"Maybe later," she replied.
"Trust me, open it now."
She reluctantly picked it up and opened it. Aggie's jaw dropped when she saw the book was full of signatures. Most admitted they were happy the bimbo squad got what was coming to them. Some said that they wished they had befriended her, and several wrote KIT with phone numbers and addresses. When she turned to the last page, she saw a larger than average note, saying...
'To the best kisser, I know, hope to see you and your sexy Allbut soon. Lars.'
Tears welled up in her eyes, as she looked at Lars. “Why..." she squeaked, unable to get the rest of the words past the Gordian knot of her tongue.
Lars looked at her and shrugged. "It's how I was raised. Truth, Justice, and the American Way, all taught along with my ABC's."
"You don't know what this means . . ." Aggie never finished speaking as Lars looked deep into her eyes.
Without saying a word. He put his hand on her chin and gently pulled her forward. His eyes boring into hers, reassuring and inviting. Just before their lips met, Lars said, “Say stop and I will.”
Aggie had no desire to stop him. She always wanted him to be her first, from the first time she saw him walk into class. Finally, her desire was coming true. Their lips met for the second time. This kiss surpassed the first one by far. For one thing, Lars was kissing Aggie on purpose. Secondly, it lasted longer, a lot longer. But the most important reason, there was no violence done to her person.