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The Festival of Fertility, Chapter Three

"Lin Ming and the other students continue to prepare for their journey to the Amazon."

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The next morning, Lin arrived at Dr. Harwood’s class almost twenty minutes early. The door was open, but no one else was present save for Harwood herself. The professor had arrived only a few minutes before Lin did, and she had her head buried in a thick stack of papers when the petite Asian girl knocked softly on the door.

Harwood looked up and smiled when she saw her. “Ah, Ms. Ming! You’re awfully early this morning.”

Lin nodded meekly. “Yes, Doctor. I did not wish to be late.”

“Sweetheart, you’re early enough that you could cross the quad and still be back here with time to spare,” Harwood said drily. “You don’t have anywhere else to be?”

“No, professor.”

Harwood gestured at the small to-go tray filled with styrofoam cups. “Well, I brought coffee for everyone. Since you’re here first, you can have first pick.”

Lin paused, uncertain. She never drank coffee. Her father forbade it, though that rule didn’t extend to himself. Coffee was an unhealthy, unnecessary distraction. But, yet again, a small, rebellious part of her--the part that years of super-strict discipline hadn’t quite been able to stamp out--whispered that her father was thousands of miles and an entire ocean away. He would never know. What was the harm?

She picked a cup at random and immediately snatched her hand away, hissing in pain. “Ow! It is hot!”

“You have to grab it around the cardboard sleeve in the middle,” Harwood explained, clearly shocked that Lin didn’t know this already.

“...Oh.” Lin glanced at the floor sheepishly and did as the professor advised, but as she brought it to her lips, Harwood stopped her again.

“Try adding some cream and sugar first. Lin...have you never had coffee before?”

Lin shook her head, feeling even more humiliated. “No. Father does not allow coffee under his roof unless he is the one drinking it, and he never drank it when I was around to see. I...I know little of such things...”

“Then I’m happy to help further your education,” Harwood said warmly. “Here, let me mix it up for you.”

She added four creams and four sugars to the coffee, stirred it and handed it back to Lin. The young woman took a cautious, timid sip, expecting it to be bitter, but her face lit up in unexpected delight. “It is good!”

“It should be,” Harwood said with a wink. “I certainly paid enough for it!”

“...Coffee is expensive, doctor?”

“This kind is. It’s from the Amazon. In fact, this particular blend is grown only a few hundred miles from the Aiwaha’s ancestral territory. I thought it’d be a nice touch.”

“Can you...” Lin swallowed. “Can you tell me more about them, please? Are they, um, nice?”

“Oh, yes. The Aiwaha take hospitality--they call it guest right--deadly seriously. A person who is offered guest right is under the tribe’s official protection and cannot be harmed, and they consider it their sacred duty to ensure their guest is shown the proper hospitality. In turn, the guest is duty-bound to respect and honor the traditions of his or her host.” Harwood’s phone buzzed, and Lin caught a glimpse of a smiling boy on the background of her phone. The child looked to be two or three years old, and while his skin was of darker complexion than Harwood’s, he had the professor’s eyes and nose.

“Who is that?” Lin asked.

The professor finished firing off a quick text and set the phone back down. “Oh, that’s my son’s babysitter. She was just texting me to say that he finished eating his breakfast.”

"You have a son?” Lin asked. Her eyes went to Harwood’s left hand. “But you are not married?”

“Yup!” Harwood beamed. “He’s the greatest gift the Aiwaha ever gave me.”

“So he...”

“He was conceived during my first stay with the tribe, yes,” Harwood confirmed. There wasn’t an ounce of shame in her voice, rather it rang with pride. “I have no idea who the father might be. There are lots of candidates, but at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that I was given the gift of a healthy, beautiful little boy to call my own, and I’ll always be grateful for that. I can’t wait to show Naka-Mur a picture of him. When he’s old enough I’m going to take him back to the village with me for an even longer stay, so he can be in touch with his roots.”

Lin peered more closely at the photo. “He is very cute,” she admitted, though Harwood’s bluntness made her face grow red-hot. “He seems very happy in the picture.”

“He’s very cheerful,” Harwood said fondly. “I’ll always be grateful to the Aiwaha for giving him to me.”

“And you--you do not wish to marry?” Lin asked, more hesitantly.

“I could have,” Harwood admitted. “There was no shortage of men in the tribe who would have been happy to take me as their wife. The Aiwaha do practice marriage, though theirs is somewhat different than ours. But I knew I couldn’t stay. There is still too much work to be done.”

“I would like to marry one day,” Lin’s voice grew soft and distant. “But I would never get to choose who my husband is. My father makes all such decisions--he would never allow me to pick a husband for myself.” And I do not think he is any hurry to do so, she thought glumly.

Harwood narrowed her eyes a little. “He sounds like a real nice guy,” she said sarcastically.

“He...he loves me...”

“Yeah? Sounds to me like he loves controlling you. There’s a difference.”

Harwood’s blunt assessment hit like Lin like a freight train. Her jaw dropped.

“Sorry,” the professor said, shrugging. “I call it like I see it.”

Lin wanted to say something, compelled by long years of strict discipline to try and defend her father, but she could not find the words. Instead, she took her seat as the other students began to arrive.

“Welcome back, everyone,” Harwood said, smiling as she began the lesson. “A quick update before we get started: I’m pleased to say that Aisha’s boyfriend--”

“Husband,” Aisha corrected with a grin. “We got the paperwork done yesterday and got hitched at the courthouse.”

There was a chorus of surprise and congratulations from the other students. Even Lin Ming couldn’t help clapping quietly.

“Very well, Aisha’s husband will be joining us on our trip. His name is Jeremy and he dropped by yesterday afternoon to fill out the requisite paperwork and receive a university debt card and packing list, so he’s all set. You will all meet him once it is time to fly out, if not sooner.”

“You got married?” Bonnie asked, wide-eyed. “Gotta say, I never took you for the type.”

“What can I say?” Aisha shrugged helplessly. “He’s...it just works, that’s the best way I can describe it.”

“I’m curious to meet him,” added Krupa. “A girl like you isn’t tamed by just anyone. And he must really care about you if he insists on coming along.”

“Yeah. He’s not the touchy-feely type, but yeah, he does care. He’s a good guy, in his own way.” Aisha smiled fondly at the thought of her new husband.

There was no way for her to know it, but Lin Ming looked at her expression and felt a jab of some unfamiliar emotion. It took her a second to identify it envy. The notion horrified her, but she couldn’t deny the truth. She was jealous of Aisha, at least a little. She wondered if she’d ever have a man like that in her life, a man who made her smile the way Aisha’s husband made her smile. She wondered if she’d ever meet a guy who made her heart race and her head swim. But of course that was impossible, at least while she was going to school here. Her father would die before allowing her to marry a foreigner of any kind, and even if he picked a husband for her, it might not be for a long time to come.

Lin felt a strange melancholy settle over and shook her head, trying to banish it. She couldn’t think about such things right now. She was in class and it was her duty to pay attention and learn.

Harwood cleared her throat. “Now, for today’s lesson, I want to give an overview of our trip to the Amazon and how we will be travelling. As you’ve probably already figured out by now, it will be a long and arduous journey to the Aiwaha village, which is called Tlacloban.”

Harwood went over to a map of the world hanging next to the blackboard. Pointing to a spot, she said, “Tlacloban is located roughly here, in the western part of the Amazon several hundred miles from where the borders of Peru and Bolivia meet. To get there, we will first have to chart a flight to Bolivia’s Viru Viru airport in Santa Cruz. From there, we will travel by off-road vehicle until we reach the Mamore Grande river, where boats will be waiting to take us further upriver. It will take at least a week traveling by boat before we reach the borders of Aiwaha territory, which is located between the Purus and Madeira rivers, shown here.”

She tapped another spot, indicating the land between the two rivers she’d just mentioned.

“Once we disembark, we will head into the jungle on foot. The Aiwaha will be expecting us and Naka-Mur has assured me that guides will be waiting to ensure we arrive at the village safely. After that, we will have several days to rest, eat and sleep.”

“How will the guides find us?” Isaiah asked. “We gonna send up a flare or somethin’?”

Harwood resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Hardly. The Aiwaha have called this part of the Amazon home for centuries. They know every tree, stream and rock for hundreds of miles. We will not have to find them. They will find us, and they will find us rather more quickly than you think.”

She faced the class squarely, making no attempt to sugar-coat what she said next. “Make no mistake: this will likely be the most difficult thing you’ve ever done in your lives so far. It will be a long, exhausting, and at times dangerous journey, but the experience will be worth it, and when you return here at the end of the semester, you’ll be glad you did it.”

“To that end,” Harwood continued, “I want to dig a little deeper into the history of the Aiwaha. You will learn much of their way of life after we arrive, but it is important for you to be aware of their history and heritage before we arrive. Be sure to take lots of notes, people. This is important.”

Dutifully, Lin took out a spiral notebook and set pencil to paper.

“Everything I know about the Aiwaha comes from what Naka-Mur told me,” Harwood said. “The Aiwaha do not have a written language, but their oral history and traditions are ancient. It is important, in their culture, for stories to be passed down with extreme accuracy. A storyteller who forgets even a single word or uses a word in place of another is seen as failing in their duty. Those selected to pass down these stories to the next generation are trained from the time they are very small, and hold a place of great honor among the tribe. This emphasis on total accuracy means the oral history of the Aiwaha comes down to us almost exactly as it was when it was first told--something almost unheard of in the field of anthropology.”

She paused to take a sip of coffee. “According to Naka-Mur and the tribe’s oldest living storyteller, a woman named Kura, the Aiwaha first arrived in the Amazon basin approximately two and a half thousand years ago. Where they lived before that is unknown even to the Aiwaha themselves, but their myths claim that a great cataclysm of fire pushed them out of their ancestral homelands in a great exodus known as the Long Walk. The Walk is supposed to have taken many years and many members of the tribe did not survive the arduous journey.”

Richard raised his hand. “A volcanic eruption, perhaps?”

“Very good,” Harwood smiled. “Yes, that is one possible explanation. Another might be a wildfire. Regardless, the Aiwaha themselves are not sure where exactly they came from, only that their homeland was lost or so heavily damaged that it could no longer sustain them. What we do know is they arrived in the Amazon rainforest after a perilous exodus that claimed many lives. When they looked around at this new paradise, they knew the gods had blessed them and they had found a new place to call home. So grateful were they for this gift that a score of the tribe’s most beautiful young women offered themselves up as sacrifices so the Aiwaha could show the gods their gratitude. This offer pleased the gods so much they came to Karo-Mur, the high chief at the time, in a dream. They showed him a great and mighty tree and bade him use it as the sacrificial altar. More, they instructed him to carry out the sacrifice over the course of three days, and to carry the bodies of the girls to the tribe’s crop fields and lay them face-down in ceremonial graves. The graves were not to be filled in with dirt until after the conclusion of the ceremony at the end of the third day, and afterward, the dead girls would go on to enrich the soil and help the crops grow strong. In this way, their sacrifice would nourish not only the gods, but their own people too. This began the tradition of the yearly Festival of Fertility, which has continued unbroken to the present day.”

“Lots of cycle-of-life-and-death symbolism there,” Krupa commented.

“Just so,” Harwood concurred.

“How bad is it it?” Aisha couldn’t help but ask. “Being sacrificed that way, I mean. Do the girls suffer a lot?”

“If you’re so curious, you could always volunteer yourself and find out!” Harwood joked. “In all seriousness though, they do not suffer unduly from what Naka-Mur told me. In fact, by all accounts it’s an extremely pleasurable experience. The girls’ hands are not bound and they are free to pleasure themselves as they die. The lack of oxygen coupled with sexual stimuli produces extremely powerful orgasms. The sort that most women rarely experience in their lifetimes.”

“Doesn’t sound like such a bad way to go,” Bonnie smirked.

Krupa looked thoughtful as she digested Harwood’s answer. “Hey, can I ask another question?”

“Of course.”

“Can we post photos and videos of our time with the Aiwaha online after we get back?”

Harwood pursed her lips. “Well...I suppose, so long as you run it past me before you post anything, and as long as it doesn’t expose anything the Aiwaha wish to keep to themselves. You can’t, for example, say anything that might give away the location of Tlacloban, or post footage of the sacrificial girls being hung during the ceremony itself. That would violate the sanctity of the Aiwaha’s most ancient and important traditions. But things like scenes from everyday village life would probably be acceptable.”

Krupa pumped a fist. “Yes!”

Brian was next to ask a question. “What can you tell us about how their society is organized?”

“Good question, Brian! The first thing you need to know about the Aiwaha is their society places great importance on sex. I know I mentioned this before, but I want to go into more detail so none of you have a faulty impression. The Aiwaha view the sexual act with extreme reverence due to the fact that it creates new life. It creates a soul. The act of creation, of bring something into being from nothing, is the closest a mortal human can come to wielding the power of the gods themselves. To the Aiwaha, having sex elevates you to a higher state of being for the duration of the act, and therefore it honors and pleases the gods to engage in sexual activity as much as possible. A tribe only grows strong if it bears many children, so the more its members procreate, the better.

"This is not to say that women are reduced to broodmares, though. The Aiwaha never engage in sex without consent, and violation is punished by instant death. The Aiwaha hold women in great esteem and reverence, for while it is the man who plants his seed within her, it is the woman who carries it, nurtures it, and brings it forth into the world. Thus, women are viewed as being closer to the gods and more favored in their eyes than men.”

“Do women hunt?” Aisha inquired. “I’d like to learn how to do that while we’re there.”

“Some of them do,” Harwood said. “But for the most part, it is the men who gather food and defend the tribe’s territory. As such, while you have the option of learning how to hunt like the Aiwaha do, it will be a mandatory skill that Richard, Brian and Isaiah will be required to learn. Everyone in the tribe is expected to contribute in some way, and while we are staying with them that includes us too.”

The three boys looked comically surprised. Harwood chuckled at the looks on their faces. “Oh, don’t worry, you three. We girls will have plenty to do as well. Aiwaha women concentrate on bearing, rearing and caring for children, along with other domestic tasks. I don’t expect any of the girls here to get pregnant--unless you want to, of course--so we’ll probably be spending most of our time doing other things like cooking, weaving baskets and getting water. This is not because women are viewed as inferior or weak. Rather, Aiwaha culture holds that women are too precious to partake in risky activities like hunting or combat.

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"Not all the indigenous tribes in the Amazon region are as peaceful as the Aiwaha, and skirmishes sometimes erupt. Full-scale inter-tribal war is rare, but it has happened in the past. Naka-Mur told me of one such conflict around 700 years ago, when a rival tribe called the Dalunga attacked an Aiwaha village while the men were out hunting, butchered the children and carried off most of the women. When the men returned and saw this, they vowed never to lay down their spears until the Dalunga had been completely wiped out. It took almost twenty years of bitter fighting, but they fulfilled their pledge. The women were rescued and blessed by the gods with new children, and the Dalunga were exterminated. All trace of them was wiped from the face of the world, save for the skull of their chieftain which was taken as a trophy. It has been passed down to each high chief of the Aiwaha ever since. Naka-Mur showed it to me.”

Lin could hardly wrap her mind around that sort of brutality. Her pencil shook in her hand as continued to take notes.

Isaiah let out a whistle. “Damn. Makes the Hatfields and McCoys look like child’s play.”

“Yes. But in answer to the original question, the Aiwaha do have what one might call traditional gender roles. But to them, the arrangement is simply one of common sense. Aiwaha men are more suited for hunting and fighting than women, and women are more suited to child-birth and raising children than men.”

A question popped into Lin’s head. She wrestled with it for a second before she timidly, slowly raised her hand. “Professor?”

“Of course, Lin. What is it?”

“Can you tell us about how the Aiwaha marry?” the exchange student asked softly. "You mentioned it briefly when we spoke earlier but said their marriage practices were different."

“I'm glad you brought that up, Lin. Yes, the Aiwaha do marry, and once a couple is married, it is customary for the new bride to have sex only with her husband until their first child is born. After that, both she and her husband can have sex with anyone they please, so long as all parties are consenting. Some choose to remain monogamous, others do not. It is entirely their choice, but whatever they decide to do, the first child is always the husband’s. It is considered important for a warrior to have a child he can claim as his own with absolute certainty, both to prevent inbreeding and for his pride and status as a man. Having children outside prior to marriage is also quite common and is not frowned upon at all. In fact, a woman who has borne children before being married is seen as more desirable because it is proof of her fertility. Likewise, a man who has already fathered children is often seen as attractive because it is proof of his virility."

The professor took another sip of her coffee. "As for children, well, they are the tribe’s future, so of course the Aiwaha cherish and love them. Children are raised as much by the entire community as they are by their parents. The old saying about how it takes a village to raise a child is taken quite literally. Discipline can be stern and even harsh, but in a dangerous environment like the Amazon, one might argue it has to be. There are many dangers that could claim the life of a careless child who wanders too far away. Corporal punishment is used for more serious infractions, but usually verbal correction is more than enough to rectify bad behavior. When I was among the Aiwaha, I found their young ones to be very sweet, polite and kind.”

Richard raised his hand again. “How many Aiwaha are there?”

“The most recent count put the total population at somewhere around 6,000 people in approximately 50 villages. Tlacloban is the largest, and is the closest equivalent the Aiwaha have to a capital. Each village has its own chief, and each chief swears allegiance to the high chief in Tlacloban. In times of war or great urgency the high chief can summon the other chiefs and their warriors to fight, but most of the time the high chief serves as more of a first among equals rather than autocrat. His main role aside from running the day-to-day affairs of Tlacloban is to offer advice and step in when needed to mediate disputes between individuals or different villages. Any Aiwaha can bring suit against another Aiwaha and ask the high chief to hear their case, but the chief does this at his own discretion. For the most part, however, each village tends to its own affairs. The Aiwaha are bound by a common culture and religion, not political unity.”

“And when the high chief dies?” Aisha pressed. “What happens then?”

“An excellent question, Aisha. When that happens, the chiefs of each village gather for a great conclave and elect the new high chief from amongst their own ranks. Only the wisest, strongest and most respected chieftains are given this honor. This conclave is usually timed to coincide with the Festival of Fertility to ensure the girls’ sacrifice persuades the gods to give the chieftains wisdom in choosing the new high chief.”

Harwood continued her lecture unabated. “After Europeans began to arrive in the New World, the Aiwaha managed to escape the devastation that many other tribes faced. Their territory, remote even with today’s technology, was nearly impossible for the conquistadors to reach. The jungle itself was the Aiwaha’s greatest weapon; simply going through it weakened the conquistadors armies so badly the Aiwaha were able to dispatch them with ease. A conquistador could lose half or more of his men simply getting to the Aiwaha, and by the time he found them his remaining forces would be weakened by hunger and disease and in no shape to fight at all. None of these men ever returned from the jungle; the Aiwaha knew that seclusion was their savior, so they always took care to hunt down any survivors who managed to flee. Naka-Mur told me that his ancestors took no pleasure in doing this because there was no honor in it, but they could not risk exposing the secret of their existence. It worked, too. As far as the Spanish were concerned the expeditions sent into Aiwaha territory were simply swallowed up by the jungle, and eventually they moved on to easier conquests. The Aiwaha continued to remain isolated from the rest of the world for more than five hundred years...until now.”

It was a lot of material, but Lin wrote it all down dutifully. She wanted to record as much of what the professor said as possible. This was all information she might need to remember once she arrived in Tlacloban. It was foolish for anyone to stay among a foreign culture for any length of time without doing their homework first. She’d done the same thing prior to her arrival in the United States, reading books and watching videos on Youtube to become more familiar with the country. It was a smart move then, and it was a smart move now.

“Any more questions so far?” Harwood asked, heedless of Lin’s ruminations.

Lin started to shake her head no, then stopped. Once again, she raised her hand shyly. What she was about to ask was embarrassing and she hoped the professor wouldn’t be offended. “You...before class began we were talking and you mentioned your son. How he was fathered by one of the Aiwaha when you first stayed with them.”

“Yes. And?”

“Last time, you said that if any of us are...if the Aiwaha get us, um...” Her face felt white-hot but Lin forced herself to continue. Be brave, she told herself. Be brave, like Dana. “If the Aiwaha get one of us pregnant, why do we have to leave the babies behind when you got to take yours with you?”

Despite Lin’s fears, Harwood didn’t look offended at all. “Ah. You have a point. Doesn’t seem fair, does it?” She tapped her chin with her finger. “Very well, how about this? When we get to Tlacloban, I will speak to Naka-Mur and ask him. It is possible that he might allow you to take your baby with you if you have one, but I cannot make any guarantees. I was only able to take my son with me because I was only a few months pregnant at the time and had to return to my work. We will be staying with the Aiwaha for quite a bit longer than I did. I will ask the high chief, but that is all I can promise. Alternatively, should any of you choose to stay in Tlacloban permanently, there would of course be no need to leave the child behind at all.”

“That’s an option?” Bonnie asked, surprised.

“Yes. Naka-Mur would have to approve, of course, but I don’t see why he wouldn’t. The Aiwaha are always eager for new blood. I myself was given the option each time I went back to see them. So long as you are respectful and contribute to the tribe, I am sure you will be welcomed with open arms.”

Lin tried to imagine staying in a place like that for the rest of her life but quickly pushed such thoughts away. It was ludicrous; she could never stay in a place like that permanently! To say nothing of the idea of getting pregnant and having a child there.

Harwood looked at her watch. “We’re almost out of time, so I want to end today’s discussion with this: six weeks to prepare for our trip may seem like a long time. It isn’t. Take some time this weekend to get your shopping done. Get your shots. If you don’t have a passport, now is the time to get one because you will need it. I will be sending an email with instructions on how to go through the process to get one if you’re unsure where to start. And finally...”

She opened up a binder and removed a sheaf of papers. Almost everyone in the class groaned.

“More paperwork?” Richard asked incredulously. “You’ve got to be kidding!”

Harwood sighed. “I wish I were. Please take time to read these over. I have a copy for each of you.”

“What are they?” Brian asked.

“Paperwork in case the worst happens.” Harwood’s tone turned somber. “Put bluntly, a will. As repeatedly stated, going into the Amazon rainforest is dangerous. Every effort will to ensure your safety, and you already signed the liability waiver I gave out last time. But if any of you do not make it back from the jungle for whatever reason, this paperwork will make sure your final wishes and desires regarding distribution of your property and funeral arrangements will be honored, as well as an opportunity to leave a final message for your loved ones.” At the mischievous gleam in Bonnie’s eyes, she added, “Take it seriously, please. Don’t ask for a twenty-one gun salute or a massive pyramid or anything like that. In the event any of you volunteer to be sacrificed during the Festival of Fertility, I will have blank copies and will provide them to you prior to your hanging so you can make any desired updates.”

Lin Ming swallowed hard as the blank sheet of paper landed on her desk. Staring down at it felt a little like looking at her own tombstone. It was very frightening to contemplate, but Harwood was right. It was important to make sure such things were in order. Lin took a deep breath and did her best to concentrate, biting her lip in thought.

She wanted to be buried, that much was certain, preferably back in her home country. As for possessions...she really didn’t have all that much of value. Her mother had given her a laptop to use before she left home. She’d told Lin it was a very nice one, though Lin had little basis for comparison. She’d never even owned a computer before. Father forbade it, declaring the Internet a corrupting influence that should be utilized only when absolutely necessary. But even he realized that Lin wouldn’t be able to function as a student without a laptop, so he had allowed her to have one with gritted teeth. But who would Lin bequeath it to in her will?

After a few minutes, the answer came to her. It was so obvious, she felt downright silly for not thinking of it straight away. Of course Dana should have it. Her roommate was always playing games on her own laptop and surfing the internet. Dana had even remarked on how nice Lin’s laptop was more than once. It warmed Lin to know that if her young life was cut short, her laptop would go to someone who’d get a lot of use out of it.

Her clothes and toiletries, on the other hand, wouldn’t suit Dana at all. Lin decided to donate them to charity. She also checked yes next to the little box asking whether she wanted to be an organ donor. She had no finances to speak of--everything in her account was from her father--so there was nothing to settle there.

When Lin reached the part where she was supposed to pen a final farewell to her loved ones, however, she stopped cold. How did someone even start when it came to writing something like that? What was she supposed to say? What could she say?

Her pencil hovered over the sheet of paper for a long, long moment before Lin Ming tentatively set it down and began to write once more.

Dear Mother and Father, and also to all my brothers and sisters,

I am very sorry that you are receiving this. If you are, it means something has happened to me. I am only eighteen years old when I write this, and I have no wish to die. But if you are reading this, then it means I am dead, and I regret very much the grief and sadness you must be feeling. I am certain that by now you know that I met my end during the a semester-long class trip to the Amazon, and as a result of that you are also very angry. Please do not be. Dr. Harwood is a very good and kind person who did her best to look out for all of us. Every precaution was taken and we even took a certified paramedic along with us, but the professor made it clear that something like this could still happen. I knew this, and I made the decision to go. Neither Harwood nor the university pressured me or anyone else into going.

You must think that it was a very foolish thing for me to do. I am certain you are wondering why I made that decision. I hope you will allow me to explain.

All of my life I have done my utmost to be the best daughter for you. You always held me to a very standard, and for that I am and will always be very grateful. In all things I deferred to your wisdom and your judgment, allowing you to make most of my decisions for me because you knew best. I was always very careful never to do or say anything that would bring shame on our family, and I never did anything spontaneous or took any risks.

That is why I decided to go on this trip. I did not do it despite the fact it was dangerous. I did it because it was dangerous. All my life I have never done anything that I chose to do myself. Remembering Dana’s words the other day, Lin continued. Since coming to the U.S. as an exchange student, I have come to understand that nothing in life worth having or doing comes without risk. I have seen videos of people doing amazing things like skydiving, or hiking mountains, or going whitewater rafting. All of those things look like incredible experiences, and all of them carry risk. If I were to live my whole life without taking any risks whatsoever, I would look back on it when I’m old and feel nothing but regret. I love you so much and I will always be grateful to you both for everything you have done for me, but just once, I needed to do something that isn’t safe.

My roommate showed me a movie, not long after I first arrived on campus. We had a movie night, and she convinced me to watch a movie about a little man named Bilbo. In the movie, Bilbo always stayed home and never did anything spontaneous or risky just like me. But then, he was given an opportunity to go on an adventure and took it. He faced many dangers and was sometimes very afraid, but in the end, he had a once-in-a-lifetime experience that all his friends and neighbors back home could barely imagine. That is why I decided to do this. I wanted, just once, to be like Bilbo. I want to have an experience like that and go on an adventure of my own. I hope you can understand that, even if you do not agree. I love you both, and please tell my brothers and sisters I love them too. I hope you will remember me with great fondness.

Your daughter,

Lin Ming

Lin’s hand was shaking as she finished signing her name and handed the paper to Dr. Harwood. The professor gave her an approving nod. When Harwood finished collecting all of them, she said, “That about does it for today, class. Remember: the earlier you start preparing the better. We leave for the Amazon in six weeks’ time, and I hope you’re all excited!”

Lin, to her own surprise, discovered that she was. Nervous? Definitely. Scared? Obviously. But excited? Oh, excitement was definitely there. It was the sort of excitement one felt as a roller coaster reached the top of the tracks, the excitement one felt when leaping into a lake or pool from a high elevation. Lin Ming had no idea what might happen to her or to anyone else on the expedition, but she knew one thing with absolute certainty: it was too late to back out now.

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Written by LordCorvusCorax
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